ok...I will go first. Now, being from the Deep South (tennesse, to be exact), I know a lot of "funny" ghost stories. When I first heard this one, I laughed so hard i cried! Here it goes...


One summer down in Memphis near the Mississippi river, an elderly priest saw one of the members of his congregation going down the road, carrying flowers and some chocolates. Now, normally this would not be so bad, but this man was already married, and his wife lived several miles east of Memphis. :o The priest went up to the man to tell him he was sinning, and the man said, "Ok, but hey, did you happen to see that lil' critter up on the roof near the steeple? It was up there just now, starin' at me!" :ph43r: The priest told the man, "That's your conscience tellin' ya to stop sinnin'!" The man nodded, and continued on his way. the next day, the same man came by the church again, carrying more flowers and chocolates. The priest scolded him again, and the man said, "Alright. Hey, by the by, I saw that critter up on the roof again!" :ph43r: The prist told him that it was his conscience again, and the man went on his way. That night, the priest decided to teach the man a lesson when he came by. the priest put on a white bedsheet, wrapped himself in chains, and got up on the roof. >:( Sure enough, the man came by, looked up at the church roof, leaped up several feet in the air, and took off down the road running as fast as his feet could take him. The next day, the priest saw the man coming down the road again, and asked him if he had seen the critter up on the roof the night before. "Well, I'll tell ya last night I looked up there, and it just about scared me half to death! I looked up there, and Lord help me, there was TWO of 'em this time! :rotfl:

so, waddya think? :/

that funny, well it made me chuckle a bit

Not great, but got somethin' outta me

OK, how's this? :/ Two hunters are walking thru the woods, when all of a sudden one of the hunters grabs his chest and flops down on the ground, apparently not breathing. The other hunter calls 9-1-1. "Hello, 9-1-1? Mah buddy's dead!"
:( "Alright, now just calm nown," the woman on the other end replied. "First, try to make sure he is dead before you do anything else." Then, the woman heard a loud bang from the phone. :o Then, the hunter spoke again: "Alright, now what?"
:rotfl:

That's a classic. That one is funny.
I've heard it before but it doesnt get old.

Here are a few quick lame ones I just remembered:

• Q: What do you call a dog w/ no legs?
  ---I don' know
  A: Don't bother, it won't come anyway
• Q:What do you call a man w/no arms or legs, floating in the water?
  A: Bob
• Q:What do you call that same man on your front porch?
  A: Matt
• Q:What do you call a cow w/ no legs?
  A: ground Beef

:ouch: Ohhhh, man...those jokes ARE lame...painful, even...

yea, tell me about it >.<

Here is a joke that is actually good for a change: :up:

A farmer is speeding down the road in his truck and is stopped by a police officer. The farmer asks, "What seems to be the problem officer?" As the officer writes the ticket, the farmer notices a bunch of flies circling the farmer's head.

"Looks like you got a few circle flies there, officer."

"Circle flies?"

"Yup. Them circle flies are often found circling the rear end of a horse."

"Are you calling me a horse's rear end?"

"No, officer," said the farmer. "I have far too much respect for the forces of law and order to do that." :rolleyes:

"Good," replied the police officer. There was a long pause, and then the farmer added, "Hard to fool them flies, though!" >:(

:clap: Yes, I know, that was great. But wait! There's more! :clap:

A guy walks into a bar, and is holding his right pinky and thumb up to the side of his face, apparently talking to himself.

"What are you doing?" inquired the bartender.

"Are you blind or something? I have a cell phone!"

"No you don't" said the bartender, starting up a heated argument that lasts for a few hours. :bash: Suddenly, a man bursts out of the bathroom, his pants down and toilet paper sticking out of him. When asked what he is doing, he replies:

"Hold on, I have a fax coming in!" :puke:

One more? Don't mind if I do! >:(

A guy walks into a bar and goes up to the counter asking for a drink. The bartender says, "That'll be five bucks." Suddenly, a beer tap breaks, spewing beer all over a pretty woman in a baby tee. :lady: The bartender turns to the customer and says:

"That'll be another five bucks." :clap: