Yep, you guessed it: guy trouble.

I was going out with this guy who never officially asked me out (the little things count to me, no matter how stupid or small they are). Anyway, he really started getting on my nerves and I finally snapped in December - after about 5 months of him irritating me - . He wouldn't leave me alone, he kept on trying to talk to me. He kept on sending me stuff. He called me a liar and said my feelings are just "all that other junk".. then the next day he said that he loves me, he cares about me, and that he wants to be my friend.
So, I told him that I don't want him, and that he must leave me alone.

I havent spoken to him since about 20 December. Guess what?! He smsed me today. As usual, the jackass hasn't listened to me, and he's ticked me off, yet again.

I can't go a single day without thinking about the wanker. I hate him. I don't want him. I don't like him. Maybe as a friend, but I can't forget about what he's said and done. I can't forget it. So, how can I be his friend?

What can I do?! I'm sick of this!

Sounds like you don't want to be friends with him. So don't. Tell him to go ____ himself and get on with your life. After a little time passes you might feel differently and possibly be his friend again or you might not. Right now it sounds like you are still too hurt to be his friend and every time you have contact with him it pisses you off. So don’t have contact with him.

Most things fade with time, so give yourself some.

Alright, my two cents:

If this guy can't put the past behind him and accept your offer to just be friends, he's not worth it. No one should make you feel that bad, or drive you that crazy over a matter like this. If you want to give him another chance, by all means, but if he continues in this way, forget it. It's not worth your time at all.

I hope this helps

Ok. I'll do that.

Thanks.

Let me guess; he's in his early twenties, brags a lot, probably drinks or gambles or displays some other type of compulsive behaviour? At the same time, he's charismatic, driven, full of energy, and probably quite intelligent. I may be wrong, but I'd be willing to bet much of that hits pretty close to the mark. How do I know? I'm a little embarassed to admit it, but I've been that guy. It took me a lot of years to get to the bottom of my issues and learn how to treat people right.

The behaviour you describe indicates a controling personality, self esteem issues which he's trying to mask, and co-dependency. When he says he misses you, he's telling the truth. When he says he loves you and needs you in his life, he probably thinks those things are true when in fact they aren't. The thing is, he sees women as objects to possess, one of the necessary ingredients that make up a full life. When he's not in a relationship, he sees himself as an incomlpete person, as a deeply flawed person. When he is in a relationship, he wants to be around all the time, talk on the phone two or three times a day (or more), and he expects the person he's with to share his interests and goals even while he thinks little of theirs. (Any idea or emotion not his own is childish or below him.) the thing is, you are like a drug to him, something to make him feel beter about himself, but you can't do that, no one can, his need is endless because he to use another person or a relationship to make things right instead of facing the real issue: himself. And when it doesn't work, he blames the other person.

What can you do about it? Not much, sadly. Keep your distance, because as long as you two are still involved, even if it just as friends, he will continue to use you in the same way you describe. He'll smother you and try to manipulate you--and guys like him can be very manipulative--into getting back together. He'll tell you he's changed; he may even appear to have changed; but deep down, he'll still be the same: a needy, spoiled child that refuses to grow up.

Now for the hard questions that you need to ask yourself. What's the longest you've ever been single, as in not in any relationship whatsoever? How do you feel when you're not with someone? When you end a relationship, do you immediately start looking for another? Trust me when I say that it's possible to be happy alone. Take some time to get to know yourself, decide what you want out of life, and the qualities that are important to you in a relationship. You'll find you might not date as much, but it's really about quality rather than quantity. You'll waste a lot less time if you pick a target to shoot for rather than shooting randomly and seeing what you hit.

He's a nerd. He's studying chemical engineering. He doesn't have a lot of friends. He doesn't smoke. -Apparently- he doesn't like alcohol, but he still got drunk at a party because "there's a first time for everything".
I don't know if he's smart; i think he's an idiot. Really, I do.

He said that we don't talk enough, which is true. He couldn't phone because my parents are around me for practically the whole day, plus he has to go to varsity.
He was too interested in my life and interests. I lost interest in him and everything to do with him. (That pissed him off).

He is always saying he'll change. Then he says that he's always trying and I'm not. Hello, if you're meant to be, then you shouldn't have to change for the other person!

He is always trying to make me happy. He is co-dependent.. big-time.

You know what gets me? He said that I don't know the meaning of true love.. a. I'm 15 b. I doubt anyone really knows what true love is c. this is coming from a guy, who, when asked how he knows that he'll always love me, said "I just know"

Longest I've been single: 0yrs-13yrs. Thena "fling" (nothing happened). Then a short break. Another week-long relationship at 13. Then nothing until the March-ish 2007.

How do I feel when I'm not with someone: The first two guys I was just "*shrug* Oh well." Now I'm "Stop thinking about that wanker!". But I don't think I have to have someone. I've got my dogs who are my best friends.

Do I start looking for someone after a break-up: No. I start looking for people I can talk to. People who don't know me in person. Like you guys.

And yes, you said I must ask myself and I gave answers here.. I just prefer it that wy.

At least it sounds like you've got your head on straight. So now the thing is, get busy doing something. Take up jogging, or birdwatching or skydiving... anything. The busier you stay, the quicker life will move on for you, and if the guy calls, you'll likely be out.

Classic manipulation and projection.

And who can tell someone else the meaning of 'true love' anyway? It's a bit different for all of us.

Haha. What a coincidence; I've been planningon jogging for a week now. Skydiving... where do I sign up?

With him changing;
He also always said that I managed to turn things around and blame him. I never said "You're the reason for this" or "I blame you for whatever", but he's said that to me.

Love;
I tried to tell him that, but he wouldn't have any of it.

You shouldn't want to change the person you are with. And no one can change until that person decides its time. You are well shut of this guy. And it sounds like you are ready to look after yourself.

And at fifteen you may not know what "true" love is. And at 22 he might not either. Hell at 28 I may have it wrong too, but I don't think so. The thing is, is if he is telling you, that you don't know what love is, then he doesn't love you. He is just trying to scare you into coming around to his way of loving.

I am glad that this is helpful to you.

Ok.

Do I ignore his sms, or do I reply and tell him to "F*ck off and leave me alone liked I asked" ? Plus some other stuff.

Don't reply. That just keeps things going with him. Guys who won't take "no" for an answer feel that negative attention is better than no attention. If you reply, even just to tell him to F___ off, it keeps the relationship going, in a twisted way.

Guys who won't take "no" for an answer become stalkers. They can be dangerous. You've made it clear that you don't want anything further to do with him. You don't owe him anything. If he keeps bothering you, tell your parents.

I said "Get lost." So he said "ok. Happy birthday. good luck with your learners. good bye" .

Blah.

Ok.

Good. Now go skydiving or something. :)

Ha! I wish. I would if I had the money, but I don't.. and I'm saving up for the Pirates of the Caribbean boxset. Johnny *drool*

HELP!!!

Warning: If you're not into evil stuff, DON'T scroll down! I don't know what the following symbol means, but I'm sure it's bad. (Goth/wicca)




Is it bad/evil? Cause that is what this guy has on his profile on Facebook (no I didn't add or accept him; we were on facebook long ago.) "This guy" being the jerk I've been talking about.

Well I am not sure what it is. There seem to be a lot of symbols there all mashed together. Symbols can be powerful focuses for energy, but they are largely ineffectual unless we let them be. Obviously this picture has shaken you though. Follow your instincts and if this picture creeps you out it is probably because of some context this guy has given you to be creeped out by him in the past. My advice to you is not to be looking at his face book and you won’t find more images like this that disturb you.

He has a goth friend and has dabbled in that (he went to one of their meetings). He said he wasn't interested in goth stuff.

I posted in his Honesty Box. Called him a jerk and a liar and stuff.

Obviously you're doing the right thing in getting rid of this guy!

However, your posting will only keep him stirred up. Resist temptation: don't even look at his Facebook, or anything else of his. Pretend he doesn't exist. "Discipline your mind!" He wants to upset you, and you're letting him succeed.

The upright 5-pointed star could be Wiccan, but other groups use it, too. I can't make anything out of the letters and other stuff.

Whatever he's into, don't be afraid because of it (just stay the heck away from him!). A devotee of Alister Crowley's "magik" once took issue with me and put a curse on me (and my house, and my cat, complete with chalk-drawn symbols on the sidewalk in front of the house). I ignored him, hosed off the symbols, and lived happily ever after (well, as happily as one can reasonably expect to be in this world, anyway).

Ok.

*deletes all emails from the prick*

SPAM, I know.

Erm... what Twi said. Ignore him. Don't think about him. Get your mind busy with other things. It's one thing to let people rent space in your head, it's quite another to give them a key and an open invite.

I wouldn't say the symbols are bad, though. The pentagram (upright) is commonly thought of as bad, but it's the inverted one (point down) that you've gotta watch out for. The other symbols are runes; they're not the more commoly known norse set, but look gaelic. Overall, it looks like a hex sign, which are used to ward off evil spirits/curses.

I can't believe he uses that stuff...

Anyway. Ok. I've had my last say. He says he still loves me. He can take that love and shove it.

Thanks guys :)