This thread is to enlighten yee heathens of uncultured minds and yadda yadda, what i am really talking about is the most epic of all book series ever, Malazan Books Of The Fallen an exemplary display of story telling which surpasses Tolkien in it's epicness and legend and lore.
The first book is Gardens Of The Moon, which begins with the slaughter of an entire company of soldiers, and the town that they happen to be in. Now i shall say this of the malazan series they are quite daunting books each over 1200 pages, focusing on 2 to 3 distinct storylines each book while still relating facts of the previous one. Now each book is intertwined so that events that happen in one book are caused by the actions of the previous or the one ahead of it. To fully comprehend the true breadth and ability that Steven Erikson is able to convey one must dive into the world of these books.
History in this series is laid down like layers of the earth each distinct and separate but still influential on the present. For instance there is the T'lan Imass the undead who were once living but surrendered there population as a whole to pursue another race known as the Jaghut who wielded the powers of ice in it's must primal form. The Imass having believed they had achieved there goal sank into the ages as dust on the ground, until a pirate known as Kellenved came upon the means of controlling them in which he used them to forge an empire. This is a swords and sorcery with a ton of rudimentary grenades thrown in for explosive action. the wizards of this time atleast those of the malazans employ the magic of the Warrens, each warren is aspected to certain element or an traits as you may say. Anyway what i have blathered on about here is that i highly suggest you attempt the first book.
this is a representation of Anomander Rake just one of the resident badass motherfuckers his sword traps the soul of who ever he kills with it and they are forced to drag a wagon filled with the bodies of all those he has slain, also he killed his dad with it.

So then, if he called himself a dumbass, like he was his dad and shit, and his dad's soul was in his sword, then wouldn't this create some sort of paradox? Or wait, the sword would have to call him a dumbass....no wait....if he called his sword a dumbass....

Actually, this sounds like the kind of tip I've been needing. I'm going through a dry spell after reading the LOTR series twice and then the Harry Potter books right after. Those are some tough acts to follow. I've been thinking of picking up the Starship Trooper books since I'm such a fan of the Movie(s), but I'd like to read something more mystical to keep the ball rolling in the direction I've been reading. My only fear is that books like this could get rather ridiculous at some points. But I must remember that I have never actually seen that happen, even with the John Carter of Barsoom books by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

I suppose I could just Google it, but coming from a friend makes it cooler, so I am wondering CKA:

1) How long ago were these written?

2) Is the series complete, or is it still being written?

3) How many books are in the series?

Answer in any order you like Sir.

1) How long ago were these written?
They have been being written since i believe the 1990's.

2) Is the series complete, or is it still being written?
He is writing the 10th and final book now.

3) How many books are in the series?
As i mentioned there are 10 books each 1200 or more pages.

And these books are not ridiculous alot of the characters are crazy and pretty fucking hilarious as well. The characters are extremely well defined and very diverse. Go out and get gardens of the moon trendy once you read it you will be hooked on this series. during my trip in germany i have read 2 more of this series. will be on to the 8th book as soon as my brother finishes it.

Holy fuck! :o

How long does it take you to read a book that long?

it depends also some books have less action oriented sequences so those drag on longer. i read the first book in about a week. and there is actually a scene in the first book described so epically i was going to write it here and see if you could take the info to make a painting.

incredible! It takes me about a week just to get through a regular novel not that I can't read fast my brain just gets sidetracked so easily so I have to go back and read because I'll be reading but my mind wanders, anyway post the description if it's not too much trouble I'll see what I can do.

that happens to me too kung. i want to read shit, i just can't make my brain do it. then i get frustrated.

yeah, and we have so many damn noises around here, dogs barking, dirt bikes and 4 wheelers going up and down the streets, these fucking fags with their car stereos going bump in the night, and then there's my mother....

Also reading a book that size would take me awhile cos I can only read laying down holding the book over my head, and after a couple hours with a regular book I get tired of holding it. I don't like to read at a table cos my neck starts to cramp up and I get awful headaches.

Definatly sounds like something I would like CKA, I will be impressed if it compares to Tolkein though.

My GF is pressuring me to read the Twilight series since I haven't picked anything up after I finished the HP series. This could be the perfect way to keep mai p3n0r a little while longer.

Srsly though, I'm going to the library to get the first book this week.

I know I am not helping but the movie is fucking geh!


How the fuck can Vampires exist in the light? And what the fuck is with the sparkles? My wife has read this shit! I don't get it. It goes against all before. Yeah it is all make believe but.........why change shit to oblivion now!? And No ....I don't read this shit!

I guess anybody can make up shit and blow all out of proportion?

I guess it is all fucking fantasy shit! But why fuck with what works? Talking out my ass!

TREND


DON'T DO IT


DON'T FUCKING DO IT

DON'T JOIN THE TWILIGHTFAGS

do it you will read the first book so quickly because it is sooo awesome.

I saw this and had to log in...PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND COUNTRY DON'T DO THAAAAAAT!

For vampires I would recommend Brian Lumbley's Necroscope series...he's like the british Stephen King! You guys probably heard him before though. I know if I ever get into reading again it will be to read the Dark Tower series. I read the first one back when I was in school and wrote a book report for my faggot english teacher, I think I got a C+ which was astounding for me in his class. He gave me an Incomplete for the 10th grade course so my senior year I had to take 10th grade english over....FUCK.

reading the dark tower right now i just need the 5th book. it is really good and really weird.

But, Stephen King wrote the Dark Tower books. What did I miss here?

Anyway, you always hear people bitching about what faggotry Twilight has brought down upon vampires, but it doesn't end there. My GF won't tell me what happens in the books, and I don't care either. But when I went to see the most recent HP movie there was a preview for the 2nd Twilight movie and I fucking raged. You see, I favor werewolves over vampires. Sure, I'd rather be a vampire than a werewolf, and vampires always seem to come out on top in their movies. But for uncontrolled rage the werewolves are badass.

Anyway, there are werewolves in the Twilight series as well, I saw it in the preview for the new Twilight movie. NOW IM PISSED

this is how they'll sexually arousing it up. when they stand in the moonlight, you'll be able to see pink highlights in their fur.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: