Now, look.

It’s not that I’m antisocial, all right? I live next to a village; after all, I need someone to interpret my dreams and visions for me. I have a wife, and lovely she is. I trade with the craftsmen from time to time, right? I’m fine living with people around. I LIKE people. I DO have friends. But nevertheless…

I’m a hunter, see? I make my living finding small, furry animals, shooting them, cutting up their skins, cutting up their bodies, and then eating them. Sometimes I make a GOOD living by finding large furry animals to do this to. Whatever the case, that’s my source of income: killing stuff.

Now, see, here’s the thing: the way I hunt stuff, I do it by tracking them. Animals, see, they leave footsteps, footsteps that I can make out and follow. It’s easy, if you try. Now when I hunt animals, I don’t just blunder all over the place hoping to run into something, no sir. No, I look around, I check the ground, I follow their footsteps. That’s the way you hunt things, see? You follow the little bastards around.

But, see, here’s my problem. I keep trying to look for tracks, faint traces, heavy, clawed tracks, whatever. But you know what I find instead? That’s right: I find the marks of your heavy boots. I could be three regions away from any village, and I’ll still find your bootmarks all over the ground. Whenever I track, it’s boots, boots, boots. Do you think I’m a bandit or a cannibal or something? When I’m out looking for my daily meal, I do NOT need to chat with you guys, see? I don’t want to see you guys, I want to see a bear or something.

So, please, get off my hunting territory. If this keeps up, one of these days I’m going to be out, and starving, and I’ll find your heavy boots, and just MAYBE I’m going to get a little Hannibal Lecter on you, see? So get off my land. Or take off your boots, so’s that they don’t dirty up the ground any. Or maybe just give me your boots. I’ve been wearing these footrags since July.

Hahahah :lol:

Brilliant.

Haha, good one. I liked it.

And don't worry about the double post, it's been handled. :)

I know how you feel. Many times humans walk on MY land and even more when im hunting food and when im hunting food I can kill some humans that have tasty hotdogs, i mean tasty meat.

That's hilarious!

dearie, you have read my mind. did we come from the same tribe or something? sometimes i'm tempted to whack the idiots and free up the neighborhood a bit. make a little space, ya know. maybe sic my dogs on them.... ;)

Oh dear Tomn. Let me tell you that eny of our villagers from our village community hasn't been wandering out there. But you should also know that 2 weeks ago our boot storage was raided, by bunch of squirrels and some bears, lead by a lynx. And I'm sorry to tell you this, but the furry bastards are using our boots to distract you.. Oh and we haven't seen the payment of your hunting lisence for 2 months now, this is the final (and first) warning

Sincerly yours
Chief Eldertribes man of "Todays future"- village commonity

Hahahah! :D

Hey Slavy, do you know any traditionally Finnish jokes that can be translated into English?

I don't know eny "traditionally" finnish jokes, if you don't count the jokes about Sweden <_<
They always start like "Finnish, Swedish and Norwegian was at.." and they all end up like: Norwegian has some better act than Swedish.. And Swedish always screws up and Finnish makes the superior or the funniest act
They always go on that pattern.. And I'm terribly writing in English if we go outer than daily words..

Shouldn't it be the Norwegian who screws up? ;-)

nope, it's always the swede that gets slammed in these jokes. it's kind of like the polish jokes they tell in the united states.

Cuz the norwegians tend to mind their own business, but those bloody swedes invade everyone!

Here in Scotland The Finns are just about the only Scandy's that haven't tried to invade us, which makes them alright in my book! ;)

Thanks, Ohnanka. :)

This is the only one that comes to mind right now ( bad brain ) and works in english:

Two swedish guys are walking in the woods, hungry and lost. Then suddenly, they see tracks on the ground and bend down to look at the tracks.
-It's a rabbit.
*No, it's a fox.
-A deer.
*Maybe a reindeer?
They both get run over by a train.

We finns know this joke well...
If URW had trains, that'd work well. Maybe wagons or something...?
There are more swedish jokes, but I dare not post them here without proper permission.
Mostly some common sense in translation will work most of the jokes out.

It is shameful how many people leave bootmarks in the woods. And even when you track em down, they just use birch-bark shoes, leather bags or something... Not boots! Why do I even look for boot-tracks...?

I usually move around in a certain area, not venturing that far besides looking for something, so you won't get trouble from me. I'll even throw a couple of pieces of meat or fish for you if we bump into eachother. ^^
But your not getting my pot. Unless I got two ( had a few times ) and you'll help me build my cottage for a day or two.

LOL, this joke really gets around! I've heard it before, only it wasn't about Swedsh people...once it was about blondes and another time it was about Aggies. (Um...just realized the latter may not make much sense too someone who doesn't live in my state, let alone my country. There's a big rivalry here between the Aggies and Longhorns. Aggies are people who go to Texas A&M, or are just fans of their team in general, and Longhorns side with the University of Texas.)

Strangely enough you don't hear many Longhorn jokes, even though there are probably less of them and their team tends to lose more often. There's tons of Aggie jokes though, (some of which I can't repeat here because I don't know how old you guys are... :unsure:), and "Aggie" is pretty much considered synonymous with "stupid" even for people who couldn't care less about football. (Like me.)

Anyway, all that was pretty pointless and had nothing to do with URW, but whatever, I'm bored. :mellow: