Lo one and all

I've decided to wade back into the general banter bit with something a bit different.

You see tonight, I was given this...



Thats a Subway salad bowl... but wait.. it looks a little odd... thats no Salad!



Thats right, all the meatballs that were about to be binned (we bin meatballs at the end of the day even if we dont use them as they've been heated - this was a moderately fresh batch).

Can you imagine my joy at this little package. I had a bowl of pure meat and a semi-edible format, which then got me thinking...

As a student, I feel it is both my duty and right to test the limits of my stomach, and considering it was already endured much hardship, its time to go on a quest - a quest to find the most bizarre meal, food, or drink, rated by Preparation, Taste, Cost, and Aftermath...

First up, MEATBALLS A LA SUBWAY



Bah look I fail! I had my dream, my hopes and dreams right there and it all went wrong.

PREPARATION = 3/10
Marinara sauce comes in a big sack and is rather lovely. Its what Jesus would have asked to go with his fish at the last supper.
However, meatballs are the creation of a bored mad man and his suportive friend Fred. When you start to feel something a bit too crunchy, you know your not in meat any more. Not to mention that even the packaging is rather vague on the subject (not pork meatballs, just meatballs...).
I know the guys who made this so its not there fault really - the 3 is mainly due to the fact that marinara sauce rocks hard enough to save the rather 'interesting' meatballs..

TASTE = 4/10
Whilst the initial bite was lovely, they were a little cold and the sauce had started to go semi-solid. This is usually when its much richer and nicer, but combined with the cold it completely buggered up the whole experience as they were far too rich - rich to the point where Im now carefully sat as too not wobble the contents of the belly too much.

COST = 8/10
Whilst they were free, I did have to work for 9 hours to get them. It also looses another mark as I had to take a salad bowl and thus it counted a meal (so I havent had a proper tea yet and its nearly 3am)

AFTERMATH = UNKNOWN
This being the first run, its all a bit tense. Im off to the pub tomorrow for real people food so it'll be interesting to see if my bum gives up on life and I have a meatball malfunction but I shall report back all I find.

I am now taking suggestions for the next challange - please bear in mind that I actually have to be able to get this (so no bear) and make it (no ostrich scotch eggs either), but apart from that Im game for anything...

this is one of the funniest threads ive seen for ages... and as a student i know what its like.

I challenge you to only use condiments, spices and the doggiest pack of 2min noodles available to make a decent meal...

AHHAAH do an Ron Burgendy, and eat a cat sh*t AHAHAHA!


Just kidding.



You should try and see how much dirty take out food and left overs and out of used by date food you can eat and stomach!

SS Cherubael, I accept your challenge :D

Mainly because I know I have noodles in the cupboard also with various condiments to add that special touch...

oh man this thread will be followed more closely than any than any other i havnt laughed that much at a thread before

LMFAO! :D

Oh Mark, you and you're crazy schemes!

SC

I sometimes wonder how people can be that poor that they have to resort to things like that, makes me realise how lucky I am in that my parents pay rent etc for me, and I have a job that covers everything else, I am a debt free student, and as such can eat properly, but I shall follow this with interest.

I dont know how you've managed to stay debt free Kayvaan. I did for aboout 12 months and then it all went wrong.

And this isnt an adventure of poor - oh no, im not that silly. My new found wealth will allow me to buy a chinesse if the meal is disgustingly vile enough to require a replacement..

While was at Uni I was debt free up until the last month od the first year - after that I had to sell my soul to Somerfield during the Holidays.

I survived on Pasta Bolognaise, Chilli con carne, curry, and buy 2 get one free pizza. I have been informed that when me and the girlfriend move in together I have to learn to cook more interesting food!

I can help you there my friend, being rather rubbish in the kitchen myself.

Basically, chop a red and green peppers into chunks, fry in a little oil, add to a pan full of lloyds grossman tomato and basil sauce, cook that, and then add that to so fresh cooked pasta. Costs under a fiver over all assuming your a fat git like me and use two things of pasta...went down extremely well with my last two ex's it has to be said.

Its partly why Ive decided to do this - My theory is by learning to cook some crazy stuff, this will enhance my knowledge of cooking normal people food.

Ahh, so this is in an attempt to get a new gf then AD?

My parents give me a bit of money every month, and I don't think they would let me get into debt so I am lucky in that respect. 3rd year now and no debt!

ahhh the student life how i remember those times, balti king at 2 am after a club, the contents of the fridge consisting of an onion, some cheese and 24 cans of fosters and the arguments over who was going to wash up.

good luck with the plan to see how much your stomach can take but remember to sniff the food first :D

Ken's Kebabs/Speedy Pizza in Portsmouth, open officially until 3 in the morning, though unlikely to turn you away if you're still spending, and would deliver until then too!

Quite lucky as despite the fact the missus is definitely in the petite catergory she will put away serious amounts of carbs, so long as I can keep her in potatoes and Yorkshire pudding she's happy

Hmm ... I'd recommend old, cooked pizza that's truly manky (has to be at least a week old). WITHOUT HEATING IT, try to make a decent meal of it ...

Ahhh memories, fond memories

Anywho, I have resurrected this thread for one reason - treachery!

Last nite I was feeling rather peckish and though 'You know Mark, you've been feeling a little down, maybe you should have a bit of a laugh tonite - put some beers in the fridge, order a Pizza and enjoy the wrestling' (TNA -What can I say, Scott Steiner is cool; he doesnt look like a real people).

So thats what I did, but having no cash and not wanting to walk into town, I decided to order it online through dominos and saw and add for there 'Steak Special' - as you can imagine I was all over that like Amy Winehouse on crack, and promptly ordered that and a chocolate pudding (I didnt order mushrooms like I usually do because I though I'd save a few quid).



Thats it.

WTF!? Wheres my steak?1 It promised so much and delivered so little!

The ingredients (from the promotional flyer I got with the thing) are 'Slices of steak, onions, steak sauce and a sprinkling of herbs'. You probably cant see it there, but there was enough onions on that for a dozen pizza's... and the steak sauce? Well after much chewing and pondering I realised that it was in fact the sauce of steak; a gravy like sauce that had simply been doubled up from the cooking and spread on it.

Anyways with some of the garlic and herb sauce that comes with it I promptly finished the pizza (I only got the small :() and made a start on my pudding.



Firstly I'd like to note this - if cake can fit in my hand and comes with a farty spoon, then it really doesnt hold much promice.

I wasnt far wrong. Whilst it was nice enough, I know for the same price I could have gotten a two packs of donuts and a cake from farmfoods and be more then happy.

PREPARATION - 8
Whilst loggin in was a ballache (I have used them before but they forgot me :(), it was pretty easy to order and arrived within half an hour which is pretty fast.
However, preparation also includes prepation of the food and I have to say it weas lazy. Its clear there was too much onions on it, and the idea of using steak juice in the sauce whilst lovely, isnt so lovely when you think about how much steak they've been preparing, and how long its probably been sat there...

TASTE - 7
Thats a generous 7. Okay I was disappointed at its small size, a bigger one would have been rank and the chocolate cake did save the meal quite nicely much to my suprise.
The beer was by Fosters and tasted loverly, even if the can was dented and I found myself having to use a pair of clippers to get at the amber necter.

COST - 2 (13.49)
WTF?! I can do my weekly big shop on less then that and come home with more satisfaction! That'd get me a jiggle and a nipple at Perfect 10's!
I've ordered from Dominios before, and usually find them on top form, but for the price it really wasnt worth it by a long shot. Very disappointing indeed.

AFTERMATH - Negligable
Whilst the chocolate cake is fresh in my mind and my stomachs settled, I cant remember the taste of the pizza unless I get a good waft of the box which is extremely disappointing.
When you eat a good (or bad) bit of food, you want to remember it, so you can tell other peeps 'Hey eat this, its cool' but no, in this regard dominos has failed.


Coming later today - AD makes the ultimate cup-o-soup!

I swear the world is going to get fatter and lazier if you can order a pizza ONLINE.


You should try and make a meal like that sh*tty Ready Steady Cook, but with totally random ingredients. ahahah

You hav egotten me thinking now!

I would love to see the after effects of eating curry for lunch and tea everyday for a month....I doubt it would be nice!

Also, I have never met anyone who was willing to down a bottle of tabasco sauce, followed by the vinegar from a jar of pickles to wash it down (without inducing vomiting!).

What a wonderfully random mind I have going.

You should do the ready steady cook thing, but get 4 folk from here to PM you a random Secret ingredient (readily avaiable from any well known supermarket!).

Not lazier - more efficient

Though I may not be the best person to give advice as I'm currently eating a portion of chips at my desk for breakfast. It's sort of an office tradition to do it every Friday, but I'm off tomorrow

I drank a 2 litre bottle of tomato ketchup as a dare when my friend and i were all drinking.

AAHAH my friend didnt get the vomit stains off his driveway for a while !

this looks like something funny to watch.
if you are looking for crazy things, please do not do a Stifler from American Pie: the Wedding and eat dog crap pretending its a chocolate truffle

Looks incredibly manky ... <_<

That cost is insane, and the fact thatr you got it off the web ...

Ultimate cup o' soup? Involving a blender and random ingredients? :P

Thats getting sigged!

And no MM, no blender, just a pan and some determination!

I like this ready steady cook idea... we shall have it. Everyone whose posted before this and my last posting on this thread, feel free to PM me an ingrediant but make it cheep! This is student living!

you could also make some money on this.
get some very hot chilli's and bet that you can eat them in a certain amount of time. warning: this may burn your mouth or cause unknown damage, and takes lots of practice.
another bet to try is to eat an entire tub of toxic waste in 1 go. thats fun. even more fun if dipped in chili powder previously. that way you get spicy then sour then sweet then more sour. perfect!
and its only a quid a pot

Is it just me who's considering suggesting a budgie? :lol:

It's been a while since I last read this thread. :o

Looking at the meatballs, I've decided that I'm going to make a huge batch of spaghetti and spend the rest of the day eating it. Seeing as I forgot to eat anything yesterday, this will hopefully make up for that.

Off topic but still cullinary - went to a Wagamamas for the first time at the weekend, interesting experience. Also my first time using chopsticks. If I have to use sticks to eat my food I possibly should have ordered an easier dish than a Chilli Beef noodle soupy thing:
I like chilli beef, but when you cant cut it up it's a challenge
I like beansprouts, but they're hard enough to eat with a fork
Noodles again are great, but when covered it soup they are ellusive to say the least.

It didn't help that both my girlfriend and my mate MKII are proficient with them and despite their best effort I started off losing all control of my fingers, it doesn't help I'm lefthanded so their instructions were backwards

Hahaha thats why AD doesnt do a noodle one - I find it hard enough playing Halo let alone using chopsticks!

I have an update but... I feel wrong going an update about good food... and I should be doing my disertation!

Its the end of my degree, time for something good!



Duchy Original Oaten Biscuits AND Duchy Original peppermint tea

PREPARATION - 9
Everything comes in lovely boxes, its all well packaged and such.
The biscuits come in four packs, and seperate, so they stay fresh as possible (very important in biscuits terms).
The tea bags come in little individual packets as well so again, they stay fresh which is awesome.
I dont think I got the temperature of the water wrong though and made it too hot.. ahh well

TASTE - 10
Bloody yummy.
The biscuits arent too morrish because there dry, which stops you just canning them because they are rather tastey - hence why I didnt have a milky tea with these (I would have eaten the whole damn packet).
The tea itself is lovely. Nice and refreshing and again, Im not hammering it. A nice bit of afternoon tea.
Definately trying this for breakfast tomorrow.

COST - 5
Alright, heres where it hurts.
The tea was about 2 quid which isnt bad for a decent herbal tea (similar to Twinnings and other leading brands).
The buscuits were the same so... about 4 quid for 25 cups of tea, half with lovely biscuits. Thats not bad, but its still a lot of money.
Then again, your getting what you pay for. They are really lovely..


AFTERMATH -
Im bloody happy. I've had something lovely to eat for a change. Great success!

Just one more thing..

They cost a fair bit, and there more like a lunch time alternative rather then something to have before tea, but its an awesome pick me up. I am a happy bunny.

Congrats.

Squid next yeah?

SC