My brothers and sisters in Christ,

I just want to share about what we have learned as a christian family. Our topic is about Parenting.

As a parent, we often ask ourselves, how could I discipline my children to be a good person someday? <_<

Here I have some hint that will help us as a guide. As a parent also of a 2.5 yr. old daughter of mine. I start to practice what I've learned to be a good parent. As a parent, we should be able to understand what are the best ways and practices on how to discipline our children.

To start with, we will discuss 3 Types of Parents:
1. Autocratic Parents - a strict type of parents. In our National Dialect, " Mahigpit na, Malupit Pa".
- This parents are often scolded their children in any wrongdoing and sometimes when they irritated they spank their children with hard materials such as broomstick,stick, etc.

Results of Children: Most cases, childrens with Autocratic parents are selfish,self-centered and became rebelious. As a result, they often lying to their parents just to have a good alibis to make their parent believe to them.

2. Permissive Parents - this type of parent is very kind to their children, they give anything what their children asking. In our National Dialect " Labis na maluwag,mapagbigay,kunsintidor at labis na pagmamahal sa mga anak kahit ito'y mali.

Results of Children: Most cases, when the child need a certain things he/she wants but the parents could not give, it became rebelious also.
- Ang mga anak na pinalaki sa ganitong uri ng mga magulang ay minsan ay napapariwara ang buhay, nagbibisyu (droga,alak,sugal) lalu na sa mga mayayamang pamilya na noong nag-aaral pa ang mga bata ay bigay lang bigay ng pera at lumaki sa mga yaya na walang patnubay ng isang mabuting mga magulang.

Ex. Galit na galit ang isang bata dahil hindi maibigay ng magulang ang kagustuhan at sa halip ito'y naghanap ng paraan...nangnakaw,nangupit sa mga magulang,etc.


3. Authoritative Parents - this type of parents are understanding, firm but gentle parent. In our National Dialect, " Mga magulang na makatuwiran at maunawain". Ito'y mga magulang na kinakausap palagi ang mga anak at tinuturaan ng magandang asal at pinapaunawa ang lahat. Kapag ang bata ay may kagustuhan at hindi maibigay ng magulang, ang mga magulang ay ipaunawa ang kalagayang financial at buhay.

Ex. Bibilhan ng pantalon si Tikboy,subalit ang budget ng kanyang mga magulang ay nasa P500 lamang at ang gusto ni Tikboy ay Levi's. Ang isang Authoritative na magulang ay hindi pinipilit ang bata na bigyan o bilhan ng pantalon na hindi magustuhan ni Tikboy, sa halip ito'y pinaliwanagan at sinabihan na " Anak ang budget natin sa iyong pantalon ay P500 lamang at hindi natin kaya ang bumili ng mamahaling pantalon, kung gusto mo ibibigay namin sa iyo ang P500 at ikaw na bumili ng iyong gusto.
- Sa ganitong paraan, minsan naghahanap ng paraan si Tikboy upang makabili pa rin ng Levi's, ito'y nag-ipon sa kanyang pang-araw-araw na baun at sa loob ng isang buwan ay nabili nya ang Levi's na kanyang gusto.

Hanggang dito lang po tayo mga kapatid, sa susunod na topiko ay ating tatalakayin kung paano natin isabuhay ang pagiging isang Authoritative na magulang.


James *console *console *console

p.s. grammar maybe not good...hehehe! :)

The way we were brought up.. the one that describes best what our parent were is #3. Though it may sometimes lead to negative results if the parents does not explain well the circumstances to the child. And sometimes a little strictness also works well... In our case, there is balance.. my mother is sort of authoritative and my father somewhat autocratic ( disciplinarian ). This seemed to work well basing on the fact that we grew up, as what I may call it, responsible individuals....

I want to emulate that too when I become a full pledge parent ( 2 week old pa lang baby boy ko eh )... :)

Any more tips from other parents here...please.. ehehehe!!!!

Papa ko ya disciplinarian galing mama ko permissive......ti subong suguran ko ang authoritative parent of a 2.5 yr. old daughter of mine...

Ari migs nakalugar ko....

Why Do Children Misbehave and their Misbehaviors + Hints?

1. Baby's/Children Crying - why?sometimes even that we know na busog man sila kag wala man may ginabatyag o ginakagat ka subay, but why they still crying?
- they want attention, but sometimes in the wrong time and place

Tips : Ignore them,never give attention on demand - huwag padala sa galit o awa, why?If we attend them, tayo ang talo...in their minds, " If I cry, my parents will be here and attend to me asap and give what I want". :naughty:

Tested Situation: My friend of mine Angie is a mother of 2 kids. Aaron is 5 while Tintin is 1.5. Last couple of weeks, Aaron fall down in a manhole while we are walking besides the streets, but lucky i was there and I pulled him out the whole and God is with him because he had only a small scratch on his palm. But Angie as a normal mother reacts,she's crying that's why Aaron also cried out loud but at first I pulled him out, he never cries.

Then we got home in a friends house to wash his scratch, he still crying and he said i'm dying...have blood on my palm but it's a very small scratch and tiny blood.

I ask Angie that he will be fine and not to attend him...Aaron continue crying and about a minute later he stops, he didn't mind his wound, he plays already.

"On his mind, why should I cry?My mom ignores me while i'm crying and it's a small cut, i'll stopped crying"

Misbehavior # 2

Naughtyness of Children - the same, papansin... :lol:

Tips: Ignore them, don't be irritated, just tell them I talk to you later.


Misbehavior # 3 - Teenager, ang tagal magbihis at kayo'y magsisimba na buong family

Tips: Don't be an autocratic, find a win-win solution

Set a rule, tell them we will be leaving on a certain time (5 mins.), if 5 mins. your not finish, either maiiwan ka. If 5 mins. done, go on...don't set another min., be firm to the rule and follow the set rule and don't broke it.


Misbehavior # 4 - Sa mall, family shopping

Ang abot kayang budget sa pants ay wrangler, pero ang gusto ni Tikboy ay Levi's, anong gagawin bilang isang magulang? Ipaunawa ang kalagayan ng budget. Ex. Anak, ito lang ang kaya nating bilhin, kung bibilhin natin ang levi's baka wala na tayong kakainin sa sunod na araw. Kung gusto mo, ibbigay ko sa iyo ang budget mo sa pantalon,ikaw na ang bahala na bumili o magdagdag para makabili ka ng iyong gusto.
- Hwag piliting bilhin ang wrangler, ang mangyayari nyan, di nya susuotin kasi di nya gusto
- Be open and honest about the situation
:thumb:
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Recommended Ways

1. Don't give attention in demand
2. Compromise, Find a Win-WIn Solution
3. Understand your child and Hear them - set a one on one talk, if lalaki - anak at tatay and vice-versa
4. Encourage and Show Love to them

Parenting Tips

1. Don't say downer words to children - like tamaran, gago, wala pulos
2. Instead use Star- Power Words such as good job,very good, i love you
3. Take one step at a time
4. Be patient as parents in disciplining our child, need a sense of humor and lots of prayers
5. Encourage them always

:thumb: :thumb: :thumb:

great help! :thumb:

a single parent myself having a hard time of bringing up my kid (4yr old boy)...have a tendency of spoiling him, lenient in giving rules. hay...

Migs...kis-a daw proud pa sila kung tawgun ila nga mga kabataan SPOILED...ano ang spoiled sa tagalog haw? Bulok, Sira... :D Ti mayu na bala....


Ex. of Encouragement words from a parent..

Right Way
Junior : Nay,Tay...80 % ung grade ko sa Math.
Tatay: Wow, good job.
Nanay: Good effort junior, with that effort next grading period...you'll get 85% na yan.. :thumb:

Result: Junior will study hard to get higher grade than 80%.. :thumb:

Wrong Way
Junior : Nay,Tay..80% ang grade ko sa Math.
Tatay : Bakit 80 % lang? At di 90%?
Nanay: Di kasi nag-aral eh, mana ka talaga sa Tatay mong bobo sa Math.. :lol:

Result: Junior will not study next time and maybe he will not show his grades ever again... :(

"A similar but more embracing term is that of a spoiled child, which only indicates that it is overindulged, but contrary to the brat is not necessarily misbehaving as a result; in a happy family a parent may even jocularly say something like "you're so spoiled, aren't you?" to a well-behaved child when he or she gets a treat or gift." -answers.com

actually parang mas proud ang bata when they called him/her spoiled but they didn't really know exactly what it means basta ang alam nya lang his/her parents showered him with material things. as another definition of spoiled brat from answers.com
"A spoiled brat a child who believes that they are above others around them, because their parents and/or other educators systematically fail to teach socially acceptable behavior and discipline. The term also carries the connotation of the child's being privileged, as well seldom being subjected to consequences of their actions."

ganyang-ganyan nga ang mga laki sa layaw...

may pagkabratty ako before but if parent ka na pala nag-iiba ang outlook in life..."to bring up the child to become a better person someday"...:-)

Well, bag-uhon ta ina migs nga pagpadalagko sang atun kabataan migs..swerte kita kay nakaintyinde na kita....kag damu na studies to prove kung ano ang mangin resulta kung sala ang atun nga pagpadalagko sang atun kabataan...