No-one knows exactly when Pirate Orcs first began to settle in Hells Teef, or why. The Pirate Orcs themselves are unsure, but some battle scarred veterans whisper rumours into the ears of any who will listen. The truth of the matter is considerably less extravagant than these old (and slightly delusional) Orcs would have one believe.
Somewhere in the distant past, on a stormy night, a group of disorientated and hungry Orcs found themselves and the stolen ship they sailed upon being washed up on the beaches of some unknown island. They were finally driven to shore on the island now known as TortooGork. Having being tossed around by the merciless sea for weeks on end, the Orcs had slowly began to eat each other, but now on land, and with the cries of wild animals and monsters in their ears, their hunting instincts kicked in.
They travelled deep into the jungles, encountering a variety of local fauna and wildlife ranging from carnivorous plants to Giant Mosquitoes and Squiggly Beasts. They ate their fill of meat, captured some of these Squig’s and marched back towards the shore again. Now stranded upon this strange island, the Orcs thought it would be wise to build shelter and the first Orcish colony appeared on the isolated isles, which the Orcs duly decided to call Hell’s Teef for the awe inspiring mountain ranges that jutted up like broken teeth from the centre of the islands.
As is the norm when Orcs take residence somewhere, more and more just started appearing. Soon the small settlement began to expand and grow. It was named Hogs Port. Soon, the island was overrun with Greenskin’s of all varieties and the more adventurous Warbosses declared that they would build more of the fabled ‘kroozers’ that had brought them here, and travel to the other islands that they could see so close on the horizon.
The Warbosses managed to successfully colonise the others islands after many years of trying and set up more colonies, the first of which was named Hogswash by its famous founder Hogface Blacktoof, the very first Orc to master sailing. Blacktoof would go on to become the most feared Pirate Orc in the history of the islands until he one day mysteriously disappeared with his crew.
New towns and ports began to spring up all over the islands, and soon a small nation had made itself apparent to the Old-World. Some years later a young upstart appeared in Hogs Port, his name was Morky Jonez and he was to become the most famous Pirate Orc to ever live. It was around the same time that an Orc shaman named Grog Crookedhump discovered that if he mixed certain plant extracts and crushed ingredients he could make a drink that gave its drinker confidence almost to the point of fearlessness along with some other amusing side affects (Namely the want to sing at the top of the voice and systematically start fights with all others in view). He named this concoction Grog and became the first Brewa-Boss and most popular Orc on the islands. Many others followed in his footsteps, each coming up with different variants of the Grog made by Crookedhump.
Many decades passed and the Pirate Orcs of Hell’s Teef became a force to be reckoned with. It was at this time that an Orc by the name of Ruffstuff Redhand and his crew captured a trio of Dwarven steam-ships. On these ships he found stashes of cannons, handguns, pistols, and black powder. After testing these out on the nearest grots, Ruffstuff decided that he quite liked them, and decided to take them all. As he crossed other Pirate Orcs they too became aware of these highly amusing and destructive weapons. One such Orc was Fulgat Da Smart, who was so amazed and amused by these brilliant weapons that he tried to make his own black-powder. After many failed attempts he finally ‘perfected’ it and pressed many goblins into work creating masses of the stuff. Fulgat became the first of the Gunna-bosses
The Orcs of Hells Teef are different to the ones in the Old World in many ways. One of the most obvious is their love of gunpowder and their ability to make it (even if it is in its crudest form). Another is that they are far more creative than the Orcs and Goblins of the Old-World, building boats and large, standing settlements. They also have their own currency, gold. ‘Teef’ just aren’t that piratey!
Besides these differences, there physical structure is identical, if not a bit more prone to loss of limbs! Pirate Orcs also have a base instinct to dress themselves in overly flamboyant clothing ranging from wide brimmed captains hats to frilly shirts and long trench coats. Their language also harbours a few different words and phrases, such as ‘shiver me timbers’, ‘pieces of eight’ and the all time favourite ‘Yarrr!’
Pirate Orcs will willingly endanger their very lives for gold, treasure and particularly Grog. The settlements of the Pirate Orcs almost exclusively consist or fortified Grog shops, all waging war on each other. The regulars of a particular Grog shop are usually therefore the crews of individual ships and captains. Although it has been known for a particularly ambitious Adm`rul to bind together more than one Grog shop, filling them with the crews of his fleets ships and creating a small keep from a number of taverns. It is this same urge for Grog that makes Brewa-Bosses extremely rich.
The Goblins of Hells Teef usually find themselves repairing the ships of their captain, drafting in trolls or even giants when the work is too extensive or heavy for them to carry out or complete. All in all though, they are not so different from the ones of the Old World. A particularly cunning Goblin may manage to acquire himself a ship of his own, and complete with a crew and a Navvigata look to the high seas and become a Goblin Merchant Lord. These spiteful and cowardly beings are known for their ridiculous wealth and trading skills, and would much rather pay off an enemy than fight them.
At the top of the food chain are the Adm’ruls and Kommodore`s, or Kap’ns. The Adm’ruls are the biggest and most ruthless Orcs on the isles and normally control a small fleet of ships. Kommodore`s and Kap’ns are next in the pecking order, however they usually only have one ship and less power.
The ships of the Pirate Orcs come in all shapes and sizes. The majority are captured ships from all around the world, built on with crude weapons platforms and rams. Some ambitious or rich Captains and Adm’ruls may build their own ships. These things are often large and ungainly, used simply to ram enemy ships before the Boyz onboard engage the enemy in a ferocious boarding action, in which their size, strength and toughness give them the advantage no end. Many Pirate Orc ships are two or more captured ships strapped together by rope and scaffolding.
Although many Orc ships may have sails and oars, they are rarely used (or actually work). The Pirate Orcs depend on their Navvigata’s to move their ships from place to place. These Navvigata’s are more often than not the shamans of particular crews. It is not known exactly how they move the ships, but it is not doubt by magic. They also have a tendency to home in on other ships, where battle can be met and treasure captured.
The Guilds
There are many different Guilds in Hells Teef, formed by a variety of cunning and wily old greenskin’s. The three main guilds are headed by three of the most infamous Pirate Orcs on the islands; Megga Boom, a maniacal Black Orc unhealthily obsessed with black powder heads the guild of ‘Gunna-Bosses’ or ‘Da Boom-Guild’ as they are primarily known. Izgit Sloppysea, a crooked Orc shaman of untold years heads the guild of ‘Navvigata’s’ or ‘Da ‘Ighly Trained Brill’ Navvigata’s Guild O’ Splendiferouz Seafarers’. Bottomsup Skiwif, an eternally inebriated Orc Brewa-Boss heads the guild of ‘Brewa-Bosses’ or ‘Da Reckless Unified Noggins Kabal… Guild’ or the ‘DRUNK Guild’ as they are more commonly known. There are also many other smaller guilds, although none hold as much sway as these three.
A guild steadily gaining more influence over the islands is ‘Da Guild O’ Flash Gitz’, a predominantly Goblin merchant guild headed by a certain Lugnutz Blingbling. Although one of the smaller guilds its wealth, thanks to the cunning and sly trading skills of the merchant lords rivals that of the larger ones.
Although the word guild conjures up an image of highly organised charters and such like, the guilds of the Pirate Orcs are wholly anarchic. As with every other part of Orc society, the biggest, meanest and strongest Orc will inevitably rise to the top and demand complete obedience from all those below him. And if they fail to comply all it takes is a few skulls bashed together to reinstate authority. Although some guilds are richer than others, all have no problem finding customers to whom they can hire out there services. For instance ‘Da Boom-Guild’ may hire out a Gunna-Boss to a needy Kap’n in return for a substantial amount of gold. Some of the more cunning guilds may even lend their services to Kap’ns on ‘Tik’’ as the Pirate Orcs call it, not charging them on the spot but adding interest over time. This allows them to then joyously beat the offending Kap’n to a pulp, taking all of his gold and retrieving the Orc they hired out.
Being made up of Orcs and Goblins, it is no surprise that the guilds constantly fight each other for supremacy. These ‘guild wars’ have been played out since the founding of the different factions and are almost ritualistic. Each guild has its own uniform or emblem that its members are forced to wear somewhere about there person. It has also been known for different guild to employ secret ‘‘eadbutts’ and ‘kombo’s’ to help
Lords and Hero's
Adm`ruls
The biggest, toughest and meanest Pirate Orcs will invariably progress up the food chain, gathering more Orcs and ships to them as they go until they reach the top. These Orcs are known as Adm’ruls. These select few roam the seas around the islands of Hell’s Teef, mercilessly crushing all in their path. The fighting style of the Orcs under their command largely depends on the preferences of their Adm’rul and so most of the different fleets are unique in the ways in which they go to war. Having access to all of the best magical items and weaponry, the Adm’ruls of the Pirate Orcs are forces to be reckoned with on the battlefield, towering above the enemy and laying about them with choppa and pistol. Of course the Adm’ruls come in all different varieties, from Savage Orc to Black Orc
Kap’ns and Kommodore’s
Though not as influential as the Adm’ruls, the Kap’ns and Kommodore’s of the Pirate Orcs do have considerable power. The main difference between Kap’ns and Kommodore’s is the amount of ship and men under their control. While a Kap’n generally only has the one ship a Kommodore may have two or three. However, even though they may have as many ships as an Adm’rul, it doesn’t particularly mean that the Kommodore’s are a big and strong as their peers. In an Adm’ruls or Kommodore’s fleet, each of the ships will be controlled by an individual Kap’n, as otherwise there would be considerably more chaos than there already is and the fleets of the Pirate Orcs would be as useless as a Goblin that had one too many!
Goblin Merchants
Goblin Merchants are sly and malicious beings. They are renowned for their great wealth, keen trading skills and their smelly, obese forms. The pinnacle of Goblin society, these ‘Merchant Lords’ have usually procured themselves a ship or two and have set sail with their Goblin crews. Although they mainly trade goods between themselves, some have been known to trade with the different Nations of the world, namely Tilean black marketers and pirates. Needless to say, many goblins died before contact was made, blown to pieces by the cannons of the main ports and coast guard for straying to close to their harbours. In battle Merchant Lords are extremely reluctant to fight and lead from the back, surrounding themselves with kitted out body guards. Infact, they would rather pay off an enemy than fight them!
Brewa-Bosses
The Brewa-Bosses are the Orcs that brew the wonderful array of grogs drunk by the Pirate Orcs. They are ritually drunk, and to be found sober is unacceptable in their view. It has been known for Brewa-Bosses to feed themselves to the nearest troll when sobriety rears its ugly head! They are always testing new and innovative types of grog, gleefully testing them on hapless Goblins up for a free drink. Nine times out of ten something spectacular will happen; the goblins head will explode, or it will simply disappear, but sometimes they hit the mark and a new drink is put into production. Needless to say that Brewa-Bosses are ridiculously rich, and are revered by all of the other Pirate Orcs. It is the job of every Kap’n to have at least one of these national heroes onboard their ship!
Navvigata’s
In the days of old the first ‘Kroozers’ of the Pirate Orcs were sailed using a combination of canvas and oars. Needless to say this tricky and quite complicated business was not one of the Orcs’ strong points and many ships found themselves stranded in the middle of the ocean or headed straight for a rocky cliff face! It was shortly after the rest of the islands where colonised that the shamans of the ships crews found a way to move and steer their Kap’ns ships using Waaagh! Power. This put an end to the tricky business of proper sailing, although even today ships are fitted with ragged canvas and broken oars, just for old times sake. As such the Navvigata’s are paramount to the Pirate Orcs ability to actually be Pirates and most are incredibly wealthy. Some of the more ambitious Navvigata’s join the guild and are hired out to lacking Kap’ns. It has been known for rookies to be sent to nuisance Kap’ns; A sly and inexpensive way of dispatching of them. When it comes down to it, Navvigata’s are still shamans and will aid their troops in battle using their eldritch power.
Core
Pirate Orc Deck Handz
The Deck Handz are your average Orc and surprisingly enough form the crew of most Orc ships. As every Orc the Deck Handz are incredibly resistant to pain, a handy trait as the majority of the Pirate Orcs have a terrible tendency to lose limbs. They live mostly in the grog shops of the settlements dotted all over Hell’s Teef, although some are known to live in the jungles and mountains. Their weaponry, just as the ones of their mainland kin are choppa’s; huge chunks of metal bound to pieces of wood or crudely carved to resemble the likes of a sword. Pirate Orcs however, have a strong craving for black powder and some will be found wielding crude handguns and pistols. Generally, Pirate Orcs shun armour, their tough hide’s ample protection against enemies. Some however will wear it, but no in great quantities. Every Pirate Orc has an unconscious craving for grog, and most are in a constant state of intoxication. Whether this is a help or hindrance in battle is somewhat a roll of the dice.
Pirate Orc Boardin’ Boyz
These are the biggest, toughest, meanest and drunkest of the Deck Handz. They have the privilege of being the first over the gunwales in a boarding action. The strength and ferocity of these Orcs is usually enough to overwhelm enemy crews, either with choppa and harpoon or pistol and shot. Being the strongest and toughest Orcs has a number of advantages; namely access to the best grog, and larger quantities of it. Inevitably this means Boardin’ Boyz are some of the least sober Orcs on the islands. Most Boardin’ Boyz are scarred veterans of more than a few sea battles and come adorned with hooks and peg-legs, ready to replace any previously un-removed limbs; you never now when someone’s going to chop your arm off!.
Orc Handgunnaz
The Deck-Handz that crave black powder the most usually form into groups, taking to the battle field their beloved assortment of handguns and things that go boom! These Pirate Orcs usually come together under the flag of a Pirate Kap’n, however some have been known to join one of the various guilds (notably ‘Da Boom Guild’). Gunna Bosses are constantly on the lookout for new protégés and will usually pick an apprentice from one of these obsessive mobs.
Kabin Grotz
The Kabin Grotz of Hell’s Teef (or Pirate Goblins, as they are also known), are just a sly, malicious and cowardly as those of the Old World. Their roles onboard the ‘kroozers’ of the Pirate Orcs are many, but they are mostly assigned to swabbing the deck and keeping the ships (barely) afloat. When the graft is too heavy they will draft in Trolls or maybe even giants to help them. Although Kabin Grotz are usually found on the ships of Orc lead crews, there is a large number of Grot controlled ships on ‘Da Green Seas’ and even some fleets, led by the infamously greedy and wealthy Merchant Captains.
Special
Savage Orcs
These Orcs usually dwell in the jungles and mountains that cover the majority of the islands. At some point or other they where driven mad, decided it’d be a good idea to whip on some animal furs and collectively ran around the jungle screaming Waaagh! In times of need, or when the Pirate Orcs feel like some entertainment onboard, a few Savage Orcs are captured and stowed below deck in cages and starved. When battle is joined, the Savage Orcs are usually pointed in the direction of the enemy and then let loose, their hunger driving them on towards the foe.
Pirate Orc Swivel Gunners
Pirate Orc Swivel Gunners are rather hard to come by, but the demand for them is still exceptionally high. Banding into small groups, the Swivel Gunners utilise their Swivel Guns to clear the decks of enemy ships before boarding actions take place. These weapons are horrendously effective in tightly packed places (such as ships decks), firing an amazing array of lead shot, cutlery and scraps at the foe. As such, the Swivel Guns take quite some time to properly reload. It is more than likely that a Swivel Gun will misfire, killing or badly damaging its wielder. However, the Orcs don’t really care, the satisfying boom and screams of the enemy are reason enough to risk their own lives.
Orc Whalers
The Whalers are the most secretive group of the Pirate Orcs. They keep to themselves in the grog shops, finding a corner in shadows, away from the rest of the crew. Despite this fact, The Whalers are widely regarded as the best story tellers on the islands and their tales, however over exaggerated, are the stuff of legend! They can be found all over Hell’s Teef in small groups, hunting down the various different types of Squiggly Beasts with their trade mark harpoons. Although they will and do hunt every type of Beast, their oath is to hunt down and kill ‘Moby Git’, the largest of the Great White Squig Whales. They are usually found wearing the hides of the beasts they have killed, as well as various other ‘good luck’ trophies and charms.
Harpoon Chukka
Harpoon Chukka’s are the poor Orcs (Or Gobbo’s) cannon. Cheap to construct using bits of old timber and rigging they are found on most Kroozers. Their ammunition is also easy to craft and load, allowing the weaker Goblins to fire and load it regardless. The Harpoon Chukka’ is also satisfyingly effective against enemy troops, although lacks the ability to severely damage the hulls of enemy ships.
Long Gunz
The cannons utilised by the Pirate Orcs come from a wide variety of different sources. Many are captured from enemy ships, others crudely manufactured by various Gunna-Bosses and utilised by their captains. They are usually the lighter type of cannon, the unstable hulks of the Pirate Orcs unable to support the weight of the Great Cannons utilised by men of The Empire. Never the most subtle of races, the Orcs and Goblins that crew the ‘Long Gunz’ have adopted a ‘heave and hope’ policy when loading their weapon. This generally involves copious amounts of black powder, a roughly beaten cannon ball and a dodgy looking fuse. Being drunk doesn’t help too much either. Needless to say the ‘Long Gunz’ of the Pirate Orcs are prone to misfires and malfunctions.
Rare
Pirate Giant
Like all Giants the ones that sometimes accompany Pirate Orcs to battle are loud, cumbersome and smell like Father Nurgles toilet. The first lots of Pirate Giants appeared sometime after Hell’s Teef was populated by the Orcs. The huge beasts emerged from their mountain homes to find the little green things everywhere. At first they weren’t too happy about this intrusion upon their domain, but they were soon persuaded otherwise. Some now live in the various settlements of the Pirate Orcs. Others came from the mainland on ships big enough to accommodate them. They have now adopted most of the piratical traits of their green companions, adorning themselves with hooks, bandannas and eye patches (even when not necessary!). When a giant decides to join a crew, the small matter of being able to fit on the Kap’ns Kroozer comes into play. As such it is not uncommon to see Pirate Giants calmly strolling through the sea next to their boat, using it (to the joy of the crew) as a buoyancy aid when the waters become too deep. Of course you can imagine how this affects the ships health! In battle the Pirate Giants are an utterly terrifying foe, striding through whole units of men with little hindrance, sweeping them aside with club and peg-leg.
Ocean Trolls
The Oceans Trolls are something akin to the River Trolls of the Old World. Unlike the River Trolls however, they do not predominantly make their home on the land, preferring to live in the murky depths of the sea. This does not however mean that they cannot survive upon the land (although the longer they are kept out of the water the more agitated they become). Their bodies are covered, just like a fishes in slimy mucus to help them reduce friction beneath the waves. They also have a prominent dorsal fin on their back, probably to keep them stable whilst swimming. It has been known for a group of particularly cunning Ocean Trolls to attack a ship, and some have even been known to attack Squig Whales. Although no two look the same, all seem to have taken on a façade akin to that of the fish and sharks they live amongst. The Ocean Trolls are extremely aggressive, and it is this that attracts the Pirate Orcs to them (the fact that they taste good may also have something to do with it!).
`Uge Gribbly Squig Fings
The Squigs on Hells Teef are, and always have been considerably larger than those of the Old World. It is speculated that this is because of the notable lack of easy food for the countless centuries before the Pirate Orcs populated the islands. They do however have a tendency (just like the Squigs of the Old World) to come in a myriad of different shapes, sizes and colours. A few of the more notable ‘Uge Gribbly Squigs take the form of giant gorillas and reptilian beasts, the most famous of these being ‘King Squong’, a colossal gorilla that has wreaked havoc upon the islands since the beginning of time. There has also been some sightings of giant Squig Whales in the seas surrounding Hell’s Teef. Stories of ‘Moby Git’, one of these giant Squig Whales are largely disregarded, although many Kap’ns claim to have lost their ships to this very beast.
Timeline of Pirate Orcs (By The Imperial Calendar)
1300 - First Orcs land on Hell’s Teef. They found the settlement which is later to be known as Hogs Port.
1324 – Hogs Port grows and grows until there is no more suitable land to build upon. Expeditionary parties are sent out to scout the rest of the island.
1325 - The expeditionary parties send back word of new islands, sighted a few miles off shore. They also find veins of shiny stuff running through rock in the mountains. They mine it and send some of it back to Hogs Port. The Orcs there are as enthralled by it as the ones that found it and declare this ‘gold’ their official form of currency.
1326 - Numerous towns spring up around the central island, each harbouring its own tribes and Warbosses.
1327/1335 – The colonies and tribes of the main island wage war on each other. King Squong makes himself known to the Orcs of a colony near Bad-Breath Bay, completely destroying the small town and the majority of its inhabitants before rumbling back into the jungle.
1336/1356 – Some of the more ambitious Orc Warbosses decided to try and recreate the fabled ‘Kroozers’ which brought them to the islands. The first attempts fail miserably, but the enthusiastic Orcs keep trying.
1357 – Hogface Blacktoof is the first Orc to build a seaworthy ‘ship’ and sets sail to the nearest island. On his point of landing he decides to build a settlement, and names it Hogswash.
1358 – Orc and Goblin shamans figure out a way to move the ships of their Warbosses by magic. This puts an end to the struggles of using canvas and oars to power the ships.
1359 – A strange brew with satisfying side affects is concocted by Grog Crookedhump. He names this substance Grog and sells it to the populace. They love it and demand more, Crookedhump becomes the first Brewa-Boss and the wealthiest Orc on the islands.
1360/1444 – Other Orcs follow in his trend and set out on voyages to the other islands. The Orcs of Hell’s Teef slowly begin to colonise the surrounding isles. They are encountered by Elven and Imperial ships, who are shocked to see Orcs upon the high seas. They are dubbed ‘Pirate Orcs’ by these bewildered seafarers.
1445- Ruffstuff Redhand discovers Black Powder, and later how to make it. He becomes the first Gunna-Boss and presses hundreds of Gobbos into labour producing masses of the stuff for use in the captured handguns and cannons accumulated over the years.
1447 – A young upstart named Morky Jonez appears in Hogs Port. Within the year he is well known and feared as the biggest and baddest Warboss on the islands. He gathers a fleet unto the like never seen before and rules Hell’s Teef with an Iron Grip.
1461 – Morky Jonez and his Waaagh! Head towards Lustria in search of gold and a good fight. He carves a swathe through the jungle, destroying all who stand before him. He unlocks the secrets of magic from the depths of a Lizardman temple and becomes a shaman. He is the first and only Orc ever recorded to wield such great powers in the history of the race.
1478- The Orcs having mined the mountains dry of gold search for more deposits. They find ‘Da Rok’, a huge boulder of solid gold. The Orcs see this as a gift from the gods and straight away take pick and axe to it. This however, upsets its inhabitants. From the mouths of the caves that dot the colossal chunk of gold emerge a breed of unknown troll, themselves seemingly made of gold and diamonds. They are named ‘treasure trolls’
1479 – Meangit Da Sly ‘Anded manages, in a strange turn of events to acquire himself a ship. He and his lackeys set sail and he becomes the first Goblin Merchant, travelling across the world trading goods for gold and gun powder.
1480/1500 – Many Pirate Kap’ns go missing at sea. Others report close encounters with a colossal White Squig Whale with teeth the size of an Orc. They name this beast ‘Moby Git’. He continues to terrorise the islands of Hell’s Teeth for many decades.
1528 – Morky Jonez and his armada set sail for The Empire. They do not return.
1556 – Kap’n Azab’s ship is attacked by Moby Git; the beast takes his leg in the process. The deranged Kap’n sets out to hunt and kill the beast, wishing revenge.
1567 – Kap’n Azab finally confronts the beast, taking its left eye before he and his crew are eaten mercilessly. The dead Kap’n gives rise to the Whaler phenomenon and many other Orcs set out to hunt ‘Da Git’ and others of its kind. They even go to the extent of copying the trademark harpoon that Azab carried as a weapon.
1624 – A new Warboss claims TortooGork as his own. He sets out on a mighty Waaagh! His goal to conquer all of the islands that make Hell’s Teef. He becomes known only as ‘Da High Adm’rul’.
1626 – After successfully beating all of the towns and settlements around TortooGork into submission ‘Da High Adm`rul’ builds up an armada of rickety ships from the gathered resources of defeated Kap’ns. He sets sail for Hogswash.
1629 – After three years of gruelling siege warfare Hogswash is finally taken and its occupants put to the sword.
1630/1640 – ‘Da High Adm`rul’ completes his conquest of Hell’s Teef.
1643 – On his way back to TortooGork ‘Da High Adm’ruls’ fleet is attacked by Moby Git. In the heat of battle ‘Da High Adm’rul’ is eaten whole along with his ship and crew. ‘Da Git’s’ reputation grows even more fearsome.
1684 – Another island mysteriously appears on the horizon, hundreds of miles away, just north TortooGork. Its silhouette is large and spiky, looking as a huge mass of ships strapped together.
1686 – The Orcs of TortooGork are thrown into awe as what they once believed to be an island looms over them. It is now clear that this hulk is a mass of ships strapped together. Its structure is of the likes never seen before and as the sun was eclipsed behind it, a mighty roar sounded across the bay. Almost as one the hulk opened fire upon Hogs Port with cannon, bolt and rock. A small fleet of ships sails forth from a harbour deep within the bowels of the hulk, which now appeared red as the dying sunlight cast a halo of light around it. Upon one of these ships is Morky Jonez himself.
1687 - Morky Jonez reinstates himself as ruler of TortooGork. Those who oppose him are crushed utterly. ‘Da Red Hulk’ set sail again, stopping at every major settlement on the islands and conquering them one by one. His rule renewed Morky Jonez orders ‘Da Hulk’ to set sail for open waters and is not seen for many years.
1750 – The first humans happen upon the islands. Suffice to say, they don’t make it back to their ships.
1779 – The first Pirate Troll, Flotsam, comes into existence. He joins the crew of an anonymous Orc Kap’n and terrorizes rival Pirates for decades. His career as a pirate is ended after he ‘falls’ over board and drowns.
1834 – Kap’n Fengur and his crew begin their reign of terror. They prey upon any and all ships sailing the waters around Hell’s Teef, slowly amassing a small fleet. The Kap’n is said to be all but invincible, not one of his opponents having been able to land a blow upon him.
1848 – Kap’n Fengur meets his end at the hands of a swarm of giant mosquitoes. His ‘teef’ are taken by his crew as good luck charms.
1902 – A shortage of Grog starts island wide riots. All of the major towns and settlements are ravaged by unwillingly sober Pirate Orcs.
1905 – After three years the riots finally die down or become isolated to smaller colonies as more Brewa-Bosses are forced into the mass production of Grog.
1956 – Kap’n Blak gathers a mighty Waaagh! And moves on Lustria. He is beaten back by the merciless Lizardmen and pursued to Hell’s Teef.
1960 – Lizardmen armies carve bloody paths through the islands by order of the Slann, who have reached the end of their tether with the incompetent Orcs living so close to their land.
1999 – After decades of war with the Lizardmen, all seems lost. Just as the Lizardmen breach the gates of Hogs Port a tremendous roar is sounded. Just off shore ‘Da Red Hulk’ rests unsteadily in the water, its cannons and stone throwers firing a continuous stream of rock and lead. Morky Jonez leads the massive crew of ‘Da Hulk’ into Hogs Port and finally repels the Lizardmen after a bloody battle that lasts for seven days and nights.
2009 – The Lizardmen are completely driven from Hell’s Teef and the Pirate Orcs claim dominion over the islands once again, slowly re-populating the towns and colonies dotted around the islands.
2015 – Seeing that his islands are safe once more, Morky Jonez sets sail on ‘Da Red Hulk’ once more, disappearing into the morning fog.
2238 – King Squong makes himself known once again, emerging from the depths of the jungles to wreak havoc upon Hogs Port. His three day rampage leaves most of the city shattered and broken. The terrifying beast lopes back from whence he came after his bloodlust is sated.
2456 – Kap’n Awkinz appears in Hogswash and joins the crew of Badgit Hipsnappa and ‘Da Ungry Hulk’.
2459 – Kap’n Awkinz actually becomes a ‘Kap’n’ after an ill gone raid. He captures an Empire flagship and straps ‘Da Ungry Hulk on top of it before setting sail for the Old World.
2478 – Kap’n Awkinz and his crew return to Hell’s Teef rich with gold and plunder. They stash it in their secret cove. This just so happens to be the resting place of King Squong. The mighty beast does not take kindly to their intrusion and confronts the crew. It is said that the beast is subdued by Gork and Mork and pressed into protecting the cove.
2524 – Kap’n Awkinz becomes the most feared pirate on the islands. Some wait for Morky Jonez to re-appear and swat aside this upstart. Others say that he is Morky Jonez reincarnate.
Magic Items
Da Swashed Buckler
This magical buckler was enchanted by some distant magician of The Empire. The same wizard infact enchanted a sword to work in conjunction with this shield, and the effects are rather satisfying. The Empire Captain who last had possession of these potent magical items was slain in battle by a stray cannon ball shot, the Pirate Orcs facing him wasted no time in looting them and the two have been passing from dead Pirate Orc to Pirate Orc ever since…
Overloaded Pistol
Although it is a very dubious suggestion, this pistol is said to be magical. While there can be no mistaking its potency, or its tremendous bang, many believe that its ‘magicalness’ is the cunning ploy of whichever merchant is trying to sell it at the time…
Da Boomstick
Some believe that this magical item was created by Morky Jonez many centuries ago to aid him in the slaying of the monstrous kraken that plagued his ship. Other maintain that it was simply born of Hell’s Teef and that its spectacular power comes from the heart of the islands, although it’s suspiciously Elven looking disguise suggests otherwise…
Da Black Spot
‘Da Black Spot’ is something used by the Pirate Orcs on a daily basis. It is the death warrant of the person who finds it lying on their bed, or stuck to their room’s door. How it gets there is a mystery, but it usually rears its head on the eve of a battle, or at the beginning of a great ship voyage. Not many that are confronted by ‘Da Black Spot’ survive the next day…
Kap’n Flunk da Skwarky Squigott
Kap’n Flunk, the pet name given to this Skwarky Squigott by its first ‘owner’, is the embodiment of Pirate Orciness. When it is not perched on the shoulder of its current ‘owner’ hurling abuse at the enemy, the age old Squigott can be found flying in erratic circles overhead, scouting out the positions of the enemy.
Warding Skull
It was said that ‘Da Guvna’, a Kap’n that once nearly took Hell’s Teef for himself, was protected by Gork (or possibly Mork). He ended up dead at the hands of Morky Jonez, who didn’t take kindly to ‘Da Guvna’s’ affront on his leadership. His head was chopped off and hoisted up onto on of ‘Da Red Hulk’s’ many masts. One night it went missing, stolen for its supposed protective properties. Its changed hands a few times since then mind…
Da Armour Cleaver
This huge chunk of gore streaked metal is said to glow bright green with Waaagh! Power whenever an Orc worthy of wielding it comes near. It is also said that when it wants to, it can split apart any armour, and subsequently the person inside…
Gnawahs Under-Educated Knuckles
Gnawah wasn't the brightest Orc that has ever lied, infact, some would say he was the dullest. The fact remains, that what Gnawah didn't have in brains, he made up for with a mean right hook. These spiky knuckles are said to still retain some of his strength, and some of his stupidity...
Morky Da Klevva's Over-Educated Knuckles
Morky was Gnawah's best mate, and it was speculated that he was the cleverest Orc to ever live. Morky knew this, and would constantly mutter about the stupidity of his fellows. His own spiky knuckles are said to be as clever as him, and still project a low muttering into the air...