If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.

Never trust a nun with a gun.

Look before you run into a pole.

If at first you dont succeed, redefine success.

Never hit a man with glasses; hit him with a baseball bat.

Dont hate yourself in the morning: Sleep till noon.

Drive defensively: Buy a tank.

You dont need a parachute to skydive; but you need a parachute to skydive twice.

Save a tree: Eat a beaver.



I hope these make you laugh; Ive forbidden myself from laughing.

Oh Believe me, these Did Make Me laugh ^_^ I only have about...iunno 2 sayings that were stupid...one more than the other. :lissa:

1. Apples are Good....

2. You're Not Nice When You're Mean!!! :angry: (Yes I did say this in real Life -_- <_<)

2. You're Not Nice When You're Mean!!! (Yes I did say this in real Life )
But you're not mean when you're nice, right? (LOL, j/k w/ you)

To err is human; to forgive is not company policy.

To err is human; to really foul things up requires a computer.

I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on hard drive somewhere.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

When in Rome, do homework in Roman Numerals.

A new priest
at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he
asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor
replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous
On the pulpit,
I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
If I start to
get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday
he took the monsignor's advice.
At the
beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded
to talk up a storm.
Upon his
return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the
door:
1)
Sip the vodka,
don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not
12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.< /FONT>
4) Jesus was consecrated, not
constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he
did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ
as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath, he did not
kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock
and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not
refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus
broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it
is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .
12)The Virgin
Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13)The
recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub,
Yeah
God.
14)Next Sunday
there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter-pulling
co ntest at St. Taffy's.
The
Origination of this letter is unknown,

lol thats old...but it still makes me laugh :D :P

HOW COULD U HAVE FORBIDDEN URSELF FROM LAUGHING NOOOOO LOL I RLI HOPE THAT WAS A JOKE :P :Cheers:

I know eh...makes you think how much will power you gotta have to pull that off...I sure as hell can't do that. lol anyone that knows me KNOWS theres no way I can do that :P

if i knew u.... well if u were here at least i would make an effort to make u laugh.. cuz i kno it cheers me up wen i laugh :D its great and i forbid u from forbidding urself from laughing ur missing out on alot of stuff there

Yea what he said....lol

:lissa:

Ya, like hovering sandwhichs. THOSE THINGS RULE!

woah :woah: where did hovering sandwiches(sp) come into here *hits the thing into his mouth and forces it down with a drink* problem solved

DUDE! That Vodka Joke is the Best! I Was gonna post it on Jokes :( But I Forgot . . .

...Colin is very random so things come from no where when it comes to him...hes the father of randomness rememeber? lol ;)

We never did find out who the mother was :o . . . Or did we? 0.o