You’re lucky to be alive


Chapter 1

Gregory House sat in his office. It was late, and he was thinking about Cameron. Not romantically or with lust, but about what she had done today. She had brought up his birthday, thinking that he had forgotten. How could he have forgotten this day, the day he was born? The day Sarah was born…

HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD

It was June 11th 1959, and Blythe House sat in the hospital with not one, but two babies nestled in her arms. Little Gregory, was sleeping soundly, and his twin sister Sarah was looking around with her little blue eyes. John House stood beside his wife staring at his new family. He was so thankful for his two healthy babies. Little did he know the happiness was only going to be short lived.

The babies grew a little each day. Greg was the fussier one they all noticed, and was more curious about everything around him. Sarah was excited and much more social, and often was sick. Sarah got a lot of attention as a child and little Greg was always jealous. But all was well until a little after their fourth birthday.

Blythe and her husband, rushed to the hospital holding little Greg as Sarah was admitted after having passed out while the twins were playing in the backyard. After several tests the doctors diagnosed her with Wilms tumor, a kind of kidney cancer. Little Sarah was brought to the hospital everyday, for treatments. Her parents were sure she would get well, and always accompanied her bringing Greg along for support. Greg at first was in awe of the hospital. He looked around at all the doctors and patients. He was a very bright child, and often listened to the doctors and nurses discuss a case and he would play a little game with himself debating on if a patient was going to die there, or walk out ok. Everyone became so used to Greg around the hospital, that often his parents, who refused to let him in the room when his sister was getting her treatments, would send him off with a nurse who would take him into the clinic with her while the doctors made their diagnosis. Greg hated the clinic. He found it boring and often went to the hospital miserable thinking of a day in the clinic. This was surely one of the reasons the present day Greg House hated the clinic so much. But what Greg hated most, was what he missed out on at the hospital. Friends would invite him to go play, or movies would be playing on TV, but Greg’s parents always insisted he accompany his sister to the hospital. “You must be there to support her” They would say. “You are so lucky to be healthy!!” They would scold when he complained of something or other. Greg hated how his parents always fawned over Sarah, and he was always cast aside. He was so jealous of his sister, perhaps that’s what shocked him most when she died at the age of 7. Sarah had a fatal intraoperative pulmonary embolization of Wilms tumor. Her parents were devastated, but no one, was as shocked, as her twin brother Greg.

Chapter 2

Nobody ever explained to Greg about what happened to his twin. Nobody told him what she had, what had happened. His parents came out of the room one day, and told him she had died. Greg, seven years old, understood that he was never going to see her again. He had been around the hospital enough to figure that much. But his parents were so traumatized by Sarah’s death that they refused to talk about it, and little Greg was forced to deal with it on his own.

Greg grew up an angry kid. Often he wanted to go out and do things, but his mother and father kept him on a close watch. They moved a lot, since John House was in the marines, and Greg didn’t make many friends. There was no point making any friends, he realized after a while, because he either couldn’t go out, or he’d be moving soon anyway. In the beginning, he tried, he pleaded with his parents to let him go to a birthday party or to the movies with some classmates, but it was always no. At the age of nine, Greg got his first girl friend.

He had been crazy about that girl. At school they were inseparable. Everyone knew they had crushes on each other. Everyone but Blythe and John House. It was Greg’s tenth birthday that started the big mess. Mrs. Hale, the girl’s mother, called Blythe one evening to talk about Greg’s birthday. Blythe of course, knew nothing about Greg’s new little friend, or that they had been going to the park or to her house on weekends. Greg had told his parents he was on the track team at school and was attending practices. Mrs. Hale wanted to have a birthday party for Greg, inviting all the kids in their class. So when Mrs. Hale called Blythe that one night, the conversation went a little like this;

“Hello, is this Mrs. House?”

“Hello, yes may I ask who is calling?”

“Hi, this is Carol Hale, Anna’s mother. I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about her. I’m so glad Greg and Anna have become such good friends. //Anyway, I know Greg’s birthday is coming up, and Anna was talking about having a party and I thought if it was ok with you, we would take all the kids out to the big fair coming soon. Anna kind of wanted to make a surprise for Greg.”

“Umm, I don’t mean to be rude, but Greg has never spoken of any girl named Anna, and I’m afraid I can’t let him go to a stranger’s house for a party”

“What? Greg’s been here many times Mrs. House. He never told you they’ve been playing together?

“My son wouldn’t lie to me. I find it extremely rude that you would accuse… well no matter. He is not going to your house for a party, and you and your daughter better stay away from my son!” Click.

Blythe and John both confronted Greg that evening, and he was forbidden to ever speak or see Anna again. A week later, the House’s moved. It was after this that Greg House began alienating people. After this, his friends were scarce, and he spent a lot of his time either on his own, or fighting with his father. John House was always disappointed with his son. No matter how Greg did in school, what he accomplished in sports, what awards he won, he was disappointed. He always told his son how he could do better. Greg always felt as if his father hated him no matter what he did, and this led him in turn to hate his father himself. In his teens, Greg began to think of Sarah. Every birthday, they had to go to church, and say a prayer for Sarah. It was always a day of mourning, Greg’s birthday was never celebrated. He began to miss his sister, and he blamed his parents for never including him in her treatment, for separating him from his twin, and then, for her death.

Greg decided at fourteen, that he wanted to be a doctor. He wanted his twin back, and he felt that if he somehow helped cure people, it would in some way, bring Sarah back. So, much to his parent’s displeasure, Greg House went to medical school. He got himself a double specialty of nephrology and infectious diseases, and began his career as a doctor.

Chapter 3

Greg House’s career didn’t start out so well. Going through med school Greg was known as the jerk genius. No one ever wanted to have the misfortune of being paired with him for a project, or bumping into him in the hallway. Greg House was an arrogant jerk, he snapped at everyone who spoke to him and embarrassed people who tried to befriend him. He was a loner. But his brilliance got him through school and got him in with the ladies. It was fine, if a girl wanted a one night stand Greg House was the man to see. For a long term relationship however, Greg House, was not even close to being a good choice.

Greg’s professors were astounded; he always seemed to amaze them. He was becoming infamous and already in his second year of med school he was getting job offers. When he had finally graduated med school, he began applying at hospitals and had no problem getting jobs. It was keeping them that was the problem.

People had a hard time working with House. He was rude, blunt, sarcastic, and did not listen to rules or ethics. His independence and reluctance to work well with others got him fired so often and yet, there was always another job offer. His reputation was fantastic and doctors jumped at the chance to work with him. After being fired from his fourth or fifth job, he checked out some offers and decided to go to an interview with Lisa Cuddy at Princeton Plainsborough Teaching Hospital.

Lisa Cuddy had been prepared for her interview with doctor House. She had been to med school with him though they had never communicated for he was older then she but she had heard all about him. With what she knew from med school and the research she had done recently she had a little idea of what to expect. However, she wasn’t totally prepared.

Greg House walked through the halls of Princeton Plainsborough looking around. He was fairly confident that he was going to get this job, and he had done some research of his own on Ms. Lisa Cuddy. It seemed the woman, was the second woman to become dean of medicine, was determined, independent, and hard working. House hoped she wouldn’t be a pain in his ass, and yet, he had a feeling a woman of this caliber would be.

When Gregory House walked in Lisa Cuddy smiled. She introduced herself and then he sat down.

“Well, welcome to Princeton Plainsborough Teaching Hospital doctor House.” Cuddy put on her best smile.

“Yeah” House wasn’t one for chatter.

“Well, both of us know you’re not the ordinary doctor Doctor House. We both know you’re rude, abrasive, and sarcastic. But, you are an amazing doctor from what I’ve heard and I think this hospital can you a doctor like you. I want to open a diagnostics department, with you as the head. You will have several doctors working under you, and I can give you the applicants. You’re an ass, I know that, I also know I’m not superwoman and aren’t going to change you. However, I expect you to follow the rules I give you for I would be your boss. That’s the job take it or leave it?” Lisa Cuddy held House’s resume and sat back waiting for his reaction.

House was mildly surprised. He liked this woman already and thought of how fun it would be when she got the rude awakening that was coming to her. She thought she knew him, but she had no idea. He was going to make her rip out her hair, and he couldn’t wait.

“I’ll take it, when do I start?” House just looked at Cuddy with no trace of emotion.

HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD

So, a week later, Gregory House moved into an apartment nearby and began his job at PPTH. Which brings us back to the present…

Gregory House got up, and threw his gameboy and Ipod into his packsack. He put on his jacket and walked out to the parking lot getting into his car. As he limped out he saw James Wilson, the oncologist and his best friend, walking out to his car.

“House, heard it’s you’re special day” Wilson smirked slightly.

“Shut up idiot” House snapped. Wilson’s look of shock didn’t faze him and House continued limping angrily.

“Hey, what’s up with you? Is you’re birthday really that big a deal?” Wilson asked now following House to his car much to House’s displeasure.

“Yes, actually it is. Now, I’m going home. Good riddance” House got into his car, started the ignition and drove off. Wilson just stared at the car wondering what was the big deal with his friend’s birthday. He intended to find out.

Chapter 4

Gregory House got home, threw his jacket on the top of the couch and limped to the kitchen. He fixed himself a sandwich, ate it, and then sat down at his piano. After playing for a moment or two, unable to get her out of his mind House limped to his bedroom and took out his only photo of Sarah. It was a picture of the two of them on their fourth birthday both smiling and sitting in the middle of a big pile of presents. Greg had taken it from his parents without them knowing when he moved out and now brought the picture onto his piano and began to play the birthday song as the little memories of her that he had filled his mind.

An hour or two later he sat with a bottle of scotch on the coffee table, a glass of it in his hand, the picture in the other hand, and an angry expression on his face. His sister’s death was like a puzzle to him. A puzzle he had never put together, never solved. If there was one thing Greg House hated, it was an unsolved puzzle. And, with that in mind, he finally passed out the empty scotch glass falling to the floor.

HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD

James Wilson was sitting in Lisa Cuddy’s office waiting for her to get out of a meeting. It was getting fairly late and he wanted to get home. Unfortunately, curiosity over his friends anger got the better of him and he needed to speak to the only person he could think of who knew Greg longer than him. Lisa Cuddy.

It was another twenty minutes before the dean herself made an appearance. She was tired, and drained and just wanted to go home. So, seeing James Wilson in her office wasn’t exactly the answer to her prayers.

“James, what are you doing here?”

“We need to talk, about Greg”

“What about him?” Cuddy sat down knowing this could take a while.

“His birthday, did you give him that card?”

“No, I couldn’t do it, I threw it out”

“Good, I mentioned his birthday in the parking lot today and he bit my head off, he was furious. I was wondering if you knew anything that could help us figure out why Greg hates his birthday so much?” Wilson was desperate; he needed something, anything that could help him figure out what was going on with his friend. He wanted so to be able to figure out Greg House.

“I don’t know the whole story here Wilson, but I have a theory. You are to tell no one of this, not even House. Its patient doctor confidentiality and he would be furious If he found out I told you. Promise me you won’t say anything.

“I promise”

“Very well. When Greg got his infarction, I needed a complete family history, and I learnt that he had a sister.”

“House had a sister? Wow that’s something. What happened to her?”

“She died when they were seven, she had Wilms tumor. They were twins James” Cuddy stared hard at Wilson praying to god he wouldn’t say a word of this to House.

“TWINS? Are you serious? Oh my god. Well, that explains a whole lot. In fact, it kind of explains why he hates his birthday, though you’d think he’d mourn more the day she died not the day she was born.” Wilson stared straight ahead wondering how things would have been different had Sarah House not died. How Greg House, would have been different.

Chapter 5

When House awoke the next morning, he saw that his answering machine had a blinking light. He hadn’t bothered to check the night before and he already knew who it was. Closing his eyes against the pain his head and the nausea, he pushed the button and leaned against the wall rubbing his temples.

“You have eleven messages”

“Christ” House limped in to the kitchen, got himself two Tylenol, gulped them down with some orange juice and then pushed the button on his answering machine letting the messages play. He listened to his mother’s voice which went from calm, to angry, to hysterical more and more with each message. The last one was mostly yelling and House frustrated by the throbbing of his head and the sound level of his mothers voice picked up the empty glass lying on the floor and threw it against the wall. Once the pieces had shattered, as if by magic his mother’s message ended and soon after he drifted off into a troubled sleep.

HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD

Blythe was furious. Her son always, checked in with her his sister’s day. For to her, it was Sarah’s day, the day when everyone mourned for her, and she still went to church and visited her daughter’s grave every July 11th. She expected her son to call, to show he was at least aware that he once had a sister, and that they had lost something so precious. Her anger grew as she thought of how self centered Greg was. How could he not be sorry about Sarah? Blythe cried deep into the night wondering where she had gone wrong with her only son.

John sat in the living room phone beside him, also awaiting his son’s phone call. It seemed that Greg always spoke to his mother and John felt it was extremely disrespectful that he not even say hello to his old man once in a while. He couldn’t believe how much his son was just so lucky and just didn’t, refused to, acknowledge it. As he waited for the phone to ring he could hear his wife becoming frantic in the other room screaming what would seem to be yet another message to go on Greg’s answering machine. John sat there shaking in anger, thinking about how his son was going to be sorry for upsetting him and Blythe and poor Sarah up in the sky in this way.

HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD

House walked into the hospital with a horrible hangover and a frightening mood. He hadn’t bothered to return his mother’s messages afraid of the headache that would no doubt resurface more horrible and painful than ever before. Limping into his office, he noticed Wilson sitting in the chair opposite of his desk and sighed as he limped in knowing that Wilson had heard him arrive.

“Last time I checked, this was still my office” House threw his packsack into the corner, put his coat on the chair and didn’t make eye contact with his best friend sitting patiently across.

“And since I’m here to talk to you that would make perfect sense” Wilson answered.

“If you’re here to question me, I suggest you do not even go there, ESPECIALLY not today.” House finally turned and sat in his chair looking at Wilson for the first time with the most killer glare he could muster. Wilson didn’t budge.

“I’m not here to pester you. And at the moment I’m extremely thankful I don’t work for you and don’t have to spend the whole day by your side. I just came to warn you that your father called me. And before you jump down my throat I didn’t have anything to do with this. He says he’s coming down, asked me not to tell you but there was no way I was going to take the chance of you finding out and attacking me with that cane of yours. So, there it is. They’ll be here in two days.” Wilson stared at his friend registering the pained and angry expression now marring his gruff features.

“Fuck!” House slammed his fist upon his desk and screamed out in frustration. “I don’t need this fucking shit right now!” Wilson stared sadly at his friend hoping he wouldn’t do something irrational.

“Look, maybe there’s something I can do…”

“There’s nothing you can do! You don’t want to get into this big fucking mess and I don’t want you to either! I’ll deal with this myself!” House got up and turned looking out of his window hating what was happening and hating that there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help House?” Wilson just wished he could help him.

“Unless you can bring the dead back, or turn back time, there is nothing. So go.” House’s voice shook slightly and Wilson took his leave. What a mess.

Chapter 6

Blythe and John sat in the plane both deep in thought about the confrontation to come. John, wanted to tell his son how much of a self centered bastard he was, how much Sarah would have been disappointed in him. He felt, that Greg never held any respect towards his mother, himself, or his sister and now he was going to pay for it. He wanted to just shake his son and knock some sense into him. How he had turned out that way John had no idea, but he was going to do something about it that was for damned sure.

Blythe cried silent tears thinking about her daughter. She wished Sarah was here now with all her being, and she sent silent prayers to her asking her to forgive her brother for his lack of respect. She hoped, with all her being that Greg would see the error of his ways. She was just so upset with him she had no idea what she would say to him when they came face to face. And seeing the expression on her husband’s face she wondered if she would even get a word in.

HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD

House sat in Cuddy’s office waiting for her to return from her rounds of the hospital. He was in no mood to go off looking for her, and he had paged her three times knowing after the first that she was ignoring him. When she walked in the door he tried in vain to hold his temper as she took her time seating herself and then gave him her full attention.

“What do you want?”

“I want to go on sick leave, I need a week off. I’ll do an extra week of clinic duty when I come back” Cuddy knew House was serious if he was offering to do clinic.

“Usually people who go on sick leave, are sick” As much as she knew she should just say ok, she felt the need to probe a bit. Even if it would probably come back and bite her in the butt.

“I don’t feel the need to explain myself. I need the time off. End of story.” House was not spilling his guts, nor was he going to back down.

“Fine. You can have the week off. You will also do two extra weeks of clinic.” Cuddy didn’t want House to make these sick leaves a habit. She became slightly afraid when his eyes almost glowed red with fury but she didn’t let it show knowing she needed to make sure he knew his place.

House clenched his fists holding back the cruel retort he was dying to dish out. He needed the break, and any other doctor she wouldn’t be giving this much trouble to. He was so angry, and holding back his temper was getting harder and harder with every second. He finally decided he needed to get out before he said what was on his mind.

“Fine” House got up and limped out slamming the door behind him as he went. Cuddy sighed and took out her calendar.

Chapter 7

When Wilson got to his office that evening there was a note lying on his desk. It read;

“Wilson,

Taking a week off. Don’t bother coming over because you know who’s going to be here and it’s not going to be pleasant. You can question me all you want when I get back, though I probably will not answer any of your questions but that’s never stopped you before. I need you to supervise my team. The case isn’t complicated, I know what’s wrong with her or him, and you guys will get it. If my parents show up at the hospital, tell them you don’t know where I am and that I’m just not scheduled to work any time soon. Do not tell them I know they’re here or that I’m on sick leave got it? I’ll deal with them.

House”

Wilson shoved the note in his pocket and sat back deep in thought.

HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD

Blythe and John got off the plane, got their luggage and took a taxi to their hotel. Both didn’t talk much each deep in thought, and they retired early both tired and upset at Greg.

The next morning, both showed up at the hospital bright and early. They had lunch with Wilson who wasn’t really a help much to John’s distress and then headed out to Greg’s apartment. They walked purposely up the walkway and knocked on the door.

House woke up that morning bright and early, having barely slept the night before. He got dressed and had a cup of coffee popping a couple of Vicodin, and then went into the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, bags under his bloodshot eyes, the pain and misery etched in his face. He washed up, then went and sat down at his piano, waiting for them to arrive. He wanted to be anywhere else when he heard that knock on his door.

When John and Blythe saw their son they were robbed temporarily of speech. Then without warning, John took a step forward and struck his son with all his might. Blythe screamed but House, numb from the Vicodin just let the sting take over him and then turned his face to face his parents. Both stood there staring at him an expression of anger and frustration on John’s face and surprise on Blythe’s and House just turned and walked back inside leaving the door open for them behind him.

After seating himself on the couch, he didn’t look at his parents but stared down at the floor waiting for the explosion that was to come.

“What is wrong with you” John’s voice was cold and cruel and he put so much hatred into each word that House actually cringed.

“A lot and you know what? A lot of it is your fault” House finally looked his father in the eye making his mother gasp and his father take a step back.

“How can you say that? We did everything for you Greg! You are so lucky to be alive! But you don’t care. You only think of yourself and what happened to your damn leg. You’re sister DIED, and you don’t even care!” John stared at his son in disgust and Blythe began to cry.

“YOU DID NOTHING FOR ME! You never helped me understand what happened to her you sonofabitch! You never let me see her, never helped me grieve when she died. I was a child for god sakes, I needed you and you completely ignored me. YOU LOST ONE CHILD, and you acted like you had none left.” House looked down. He had been waiting to say that for so long, and he was so glad he did.

“We were trying to protect you! We didn’t want you to remember her sick and ill Greg! We did it for you why can’t you see that?” Blythe pleaded as her husband stood holding on to the coffee table edge looking faint.

“It doesn’t matter what your motives were. You made a mistake. A bad one. And I’m screwed up because of it. YOU need to realize that. Otherwise, we’ll never get along, and we’ll never move on.” House wasn’t yelling anymore. He hoped he could get through to his mother, because she was his only hope.

“Greg how can you accuse us of doing this to you?” Blythe cried and House looked down. It was what he had expected after all. Never would they understand. Never would they know that they had made a mistake and how much Greg paid for it everyday of his miserable life.

“Just leave. You’ll never get it. You’ll never understand that I miss her everyday that I can barely remember my own sister because you never let me see her when I was actually old enough to remember her. You never explained to me her death, and I have to deal with that every goddamn day. And that is your fault. I don’t care if you believe it anymore because you are beyond hope. When Sarah died, she might as well have taken me with her. That’s, how you made me feel. But you won’t apologize. The door’s that way.” House didn’t look at his parents, but he let the tears drop once he heard the door slam shut, and he knew it was over for good.

Chapter 8

Blythe and John sat in the car in silence. Tears of misery fell down Blythe’s cheeks, and tears of frustration and utmost disgust welled up in Johns. House was right, he never would understand. And now, he felt that his son had died. He no longer had a son, and that hurt more than anything.

HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD

Wilson sat at home that night staring at the telephone. He knew that right now, his best friend was probably in pain. Not physical pain, because that was always going to be a problem with his leg, but emotional pain, and worse than usual. Wilson didn’t know of course why House was angry at his parent’s arrival; he didn’t know the whole story with Sarah. But the little bits he did know, gave him enough information to piece it together. Late that night Julie begged her husband to come to bed but he refused stating he couldn’t sleep even if he wanted to.

House was driving, despite the alcohol he had consumed and the Vicodin he had needed to put into his system, he didn’t even remember how many. He needed to visit her, to feel her presence. He was no longer in control of his body, everything seemed like a blur, the tears continued to fall, and he wasn’t trying to stop them. Once he had arrived at the cemetery, he limped somewhat shakily toward her tombstone. He stood there for a moment, looking at the name on the tombstone, and then he muttered “I’m so sorry Sarah” and fell into the blackness that engulfed him.

When House awoke, he was in a hospital. It wasn’t PPTH, and he didn’t really care anyway. The numbness he felt blocked everything else. He was finally really mourning the loss of his sister. And he had never been in so much pain in his life.

Wilson sat beside House’s bed not saying a word. He knew he didn’t need to speak. He just sat there, knowing House was so out of it he might not even realize he Wilson was there. He watched his friend struggle with the pain and just sat there, silently supporting him. When he had received the call he had rushed over and now he sat there feeling as though the time was going slower than ever.

HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD HOUSE MD

Wilson and House sat on the hospital roof top a week after House had been discharged, both looking at the stars. House hadn’t spoken to anyone in a week’s time; he hadn’t seen anybody in a week’s time. Wilson was so intensely relieved when his friend asked him to meet him up there that he was actually looking forward to it like nothing he had been excited about in a long time. He walked up the steps trying hard not to take them two at a time and pushed open the heavy door leading onto the roof. House sat there staring out at the buildings below holding a small photograph in his left hand. He turned towards Wilson when the door opened and then turned back waiting for his friend to reach him.

“Hey” Wilson said quietly.

“It’s going to be better now” House answered.

“Yeah I know”

“I’ll never forget her. And I’ll never forgive them.” House looked hard at Wilson and Wilson thought a moment, trying to think of a good answer. None came to him. He just patted House on the shoulder, and the two men stood there looking out at the stars.

The end.

this is very veryt good! I loved the emotion between House and his parents and the background story on House' sister..greaty job!

God and peace
Vanessa :)

Thank you! I got the idea walking home from school the other day and I really like the way it turned out. I love fics on ships but I also really enjoy fics on House's past and stuff.

Okay, I'm only up to Chapter 4, and I will finish reading and comment some more later, but I wanted to comment now. Partly because I really have to get some work done today and I may not get the chance to comment while the thoughts are fresh in my mind. Plus I would then have to re-read and that might not happen due to time constraints right now. :)

Anyhow, I hope you're the kind that can take a little constructive criticism. That statement will really put you on the defensive eh?! :D Don't worry, it's not that bad!

Let me start by saying I really love the idea of this story. Sarah, the backstory of her, her death and how that can and has effected House's whole life, his relationship with his family and outlook on the world in general. It's such a real world situation and has the potential to explain alot about House.

My problem so far is, and this could just be chalked up to personal taste, I feel you tell the reader too much. You need to trust your skills. Let your story speaks for itself.

Example:

That last line isn't needed. When you add that line it tells me, as a reader, that you aren't confident in your writing ability or you think I'm not very bright. So I'm either insulted that you think I'm so thick that I couldn't pick that up on my own or I think 'Oh my, I'm going to get everything twice. Once implied and once stated!'. Either way it makes me not want to read any further.

Again, that sounds really harsh but I think we all go through that phase where we are unsure that we're getting our point across and so we blatantly explain everything just to make sure the reader "gets it" (kind of like I do in my posts! :lol: ). I've subsequently gone in the complete opposite direction in my writing and don't explain enough ('The Bet' is a good example of going to the extreme in the opposite direction!).

If you're serious (serious in the sense that you want to keep doing it, not necessarily for a living, but just because)about writing may I recommend Stephen King's book "On Writing". Just a ton of great advice, even if you don't like his books, I think the writing advice is fantastic.

At one point he talks about this very problem. And I'm paraphrasing but he more or less says that you shouldn't have to say "He shouted angrily". Your writing prior to that should tell the reader he is angry. If you have to tell them again, you either need to make your point clearer, earlier, or you need to give up writing. After reading that I started to comb my writings for stuff like that, and believe me I found a ton!!!

So part of this critique is honing my skills so I can spot this stuff in my writing and correct it, but also to maybe help someone else improve and grow as a writer. It's really about becoming more confident in your story telling abilities. A good beta can be immensly helpful in this area too as they can point out when you are too vague or too detailed.

You've got some really great ideas and a great start on them, please don't stop. I mean it. I think you really have potential and with time and practice and a good beta if you can get one, you'll be one of the tops around here.

And that's what I love about this place, even the writers that need some work are head and shoulders above most of the crud out there!!

Thanks for sharing and keep up the writing! I'll be back when I finish reading to comment some more. B)

**ETA**

Okay, I'm finished and I'm back. First I'll cover the technical. You're telling us way more than we need. Too much exposition on what we already know.

The first five paragraphs of Chapter 3, all the thoughts in Wilson's head, it's all stuff we already know about. Unless you are going to use it later in the story or expand on one incident or another that may shed new light or a different angle, there's no need for it.

Maybe in original fiction or if you are introducing an original character that readers would not be familiar with but in well established character such as House, Cuddy and Wilson the reader doesn't need it spelled out that much.

I don't know how much editing and polishing you did with this but since it's in the finished section I have to assume you have done this and felt it was ready to go. There are some technical problems as far as editing goes. Missing words, grammer, etc. You know, the stuff we all miss! :lol: Again, if you're not catching them it would serve you well to get a beta.

Now on to the more personal stuff. This is the crap you needn't pay any attention too. It's my personal feelings about the story and has no bearing on whether this is good or bad writing. I just like to give my impressions so you can se if you've accomplished what you wanted to with a reader.

I am general not into AU (alternate universe) stuff and I'm not sure if you intended it to be AU or not but I am going to presume so because I felt all the characters where out of character from what we've been shown in the show.

I'm was very uncomfortable with House actually blaming his parents. I just don't see that ever happening. I think he may know that their actions hurt him, maybe changed him but he isn't the kind to put the blame elsewhere when it comes to his life and his path in life.

In other places you've kept him well in character and believable so it just struck me as odd that this asking for time off to confront his parents and the big explosion.

Again, it's more my problem with AU than your story. I think, once again, if you leave out all the unnecessary stuff and developed things just a bit more, it would be easier to slip into this alternte universe you've created and these things might not be as jarring.

I love the begining. That tease of introducing Sarah hooked me right away. Like I said, I love the idea of Sarah and the rift that her death caused in the House family.

I like how you drew on the infarction incident to a create a very plausible explanation for Cuddy knowing such a deep secert of House's. (Very, very nice! :D ) But I felt a little cheated that it wasn't used to greater effect. She tells Wilson, there's all this tension because I'm wondering if he'll slip and tell. Or if he'll just act guilty enough for House to figure out that he knows something thus knowing that Cuddy had spilled the beans. Just so much potential there that never materialized.

Anyway, I hope you take all of this as a positive thing, as it is meant to be positive. You really have great ideas and, unlike me, can get from point A to point B and finish a story. You have great elements in the story that, once you eliminate the unecessary, you can develop and expand upon.

This is a great place to get great advice from other writers. Please keep writing and growing. I love t olook over my stuff and see how I've developed and I really love seeing it in others. Someday I want to say "I knew you when!" ;) :lol:

Anyhow, I hope you're the kind that can take a little constructive criticism. That statement will really put you on the defensive eh?! Don't worry, it's not that bad!

Oh yes. You see, I haven't done much writting ever, but I am enjoying it immensely and hope to continue with it as much as I can. So any advice is very welcome.

If you're serious (serious in the sense that you want to keep doing it, not necessarily for a living, but just because)about writing may I recommend Stephen King's book "On Writing". Just a ton of great advice, even if you don't like his books, I think the writing advice is fantastic.

I will definetely look into it! Like I said before I really enjoy writting so if I can better myself some way I will definetely give it a try.

The first five paragraphs of Chapter 3, all the thoughts in Wilson's head, it's all stuff we already know about. Unless you are going to use it later in the story or expand on one incident or another that may shed new light or a different angle, there's no need for it

Ok, here you have me confused. You say that the first five paragraphs in chapter 3 are in Wilson's head. But they are flashbacks. It has nothing to do with Wilson. I might have misunderstood you or you might have misunderstood me. I do see your point however.

Anyway, thank you so much for your comments and i'm telling you that i'm sure this will help me a lot, maybe with a future story or even just to perfect this one. I really appreciate it!

Not to gang up on you, but I also noticed the telling rather than showing. The only thing I would say in addition is to suggest that you let part stand for the whole when you do show something. We don't need every scene that demonstrates the trait, of course, we just need one very strong, typical scene.

I do love your idea though. I have often thought of doing something with the idea of House having not always been an only child. The loss of a sibling is bound to affect someone's life no matter how delicately and appropriately it's handled, especially that of a twin who is almost like a part of oneself from what I hear, that fact that House's parents handled it so badly makes it all the more damaging.

Keep working on this. In addition, another good writing book, and a funny one, is Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott.

Whew! Thanks, I was sweating this one. I haven't left any constructive critisism in a while because last time I did I think I scared the gal off. :( I'm glad you are taking this for what it is!

Also very happy to hear that you enjoy writing! Because you do have some great ideas and really, all the elements are there, you just need polish (which takes time both in gaining an eye for it and in the actual physical act of doing it.). Heck, we all need polish or you'd be out there at our book signings asking us for autographs! :lol:

The "thoughts in Wilson's head" is a different thought altogether. But my thoughts on it's inclusion is the same as my thoughts on those paragraphs. We already know from the show that Wilson cares about House and wants to help him (even though Wilson's methods of administering help are a bit suspect! :o ). I just don't think that needs to be said.

This can be a bit personal on my part since I've been watching the show from the beginning so I know it. Newer fans may not get that yet and appreciate a peak into his motives. So if you feel that Wilson's thought's are necessary, then maybe explore more about "Why" Wilson wants to help House more the the idea that he "Wants" to help House.

I'm betting a local library may have an audiobook of it. The first part is more autobiography, the second part is about writing and the third part is about a combination of the two. The audiobook will give you a chance to quickly get to the good parts and if you like it, you can but the book later to keep on hand. I really learned alot form that book (I'm getting better at cutting those lines that I love but just don't really fit! Although I keep them in a seperate document in case I can find a place where they fit.)

I'm glad I could help and I hope to see more from you soon.

Not to nag, God knows I'm too busy most of the time too, but I was just wondering how this was coming along? Have you had a chance to do any revisions? <she askes hopefully> :D