I kind of want sleep, but I don't know how badly since I stopped missing it after 3 days and I have been getting two hours about every other night. Although I'm not sure if I slept cuz I don't remember falling asleep or waking up but there's some time un accounted for so I figure I must have been asleep.

oo and I want chocolate and maybe a hot snowboarder in finland who'll teach me to snowboard while I'm their.

What do I want right now?

Long list. Let's see......


*My pick-up truck fixed so it's like new
*The X-Men3 DVD
*The book based on the real medicine of 'House'
*Enough money to pay off my bills (About 5 grand)
*A lobster dinner with jumbo grilled shrimp, King Crab legs

And tomorrow I want Hugh Laurie to drop by the store I work at and say he needs cookware and a stand mixer

good luck with that.

a little confused about a finnish snowboarder... as they are very pale. But I can see where you're going with that. I once had a nice german snowboarder... for about 2 weeks. Hmph.

Anyway... what to want out of life? Right now?

To quit my horrible job... which in its defense, is just NOT for me.
To travel (S. America anyone? How about Asia? I'm thinking India and Nepal)
To be in shape (oh... that's all my fault isn't it?)
Chocolate
Premium Coffee
A 60 gig ipod because I'm running out of space on my 20
Inspiration (& motivation) for a novel that will make me millions

I think that should do it. A beer also sounds good right about now.
Hmm... I see a trip to the store in my near future.

I like pale. besides I'm american so he'll have an accent which automatically gains sexy points so even if he isn't hot physically once he starts talking that will earn him at least 3 or 4 points.


yea I got the 30 gb Ipod then my friend comes up to visits and starts telling me how the 80gb is replacing the 60gb I didn't think paying twice as much was worth 30 extra gigs but 50 it would have been. Damn timing

if I had beer I'd give you one as I don't like beer and rather have liqour or wine (I really want some sort of red wine)

Right at this moment?

This horrible feeling of "I don't matter in this world" to go away.
A man that doesn't treat me like the old one did.
My Java programming test to be over with good results
A night where I don't cry myself to sleep.
The Little Mermaid DVD

I'd be cool with that.

You could be like me and not sleep. then I guess you'd just cry but you should listen to Bob Marley he always cheers me up, and too realize life will always sucks, some how me realizing that made me 10 times happier. My room mate's getting the Little Mermaid DVD. I can't help you with your men issues so I'm not gonna try and the only advice I can give you is don't go out with someone like him (which is just crap advice). Good luck on your Java test (remember when that was coffee?)

You have unleashed a box of Narsil-Whining Worms

-to have friends at my school without having to "make friends" in the first place, because that's not happening

-to have this English paper written, and this philosopher paper written, and for the Global Society midterm exams to already be over

-to go home and see my mom and my dog and my brother

-to see my sister and her baby

-an ipod

-a new computer that doesn't shut off randomly

-faith. maybe.

-for my face to clear up.

-for my writer's block to end (for me to actually be motivated to do something)

-to be nine years old again (forever)

Don't feel bad I haven't made friends but it's only been a month since I moved here so I'm not worried I have the next four years to make friends.

Ooohhh- I forgot one

For the Twins to win the world Series this year! GOOOO TWINS!!! :D

I want to meet the idiot(s) who convinced the world dvd's were a good idea. So i can kick their ass.a whole scene was skipped on "Who's Your Daddy?" because my dvd was defective.

What I want out of life right now?

Mom to be home and healed (She fell almost a month ago and broke her leg in three places and is currently in a nursing home doing PT. Due for three months in a cast then if all goes well, more PT. If not surgery and then who knows how much longer.)

A complete and comprehensive understanding of websites, how to build them, design them and make them appealing to the eye.

The time to actually do something with that knowledge! As well as the time and speed to answer all the emails that are piling up!

And a good steak and a Bloomin' Onion from Outback Steakhouse. :P

Sorry about your mom, hope everything goes well, or if it isn't hope it starts going better with her leg.

Outback sounds really good right now. I'm totally out of food except cereal, I would go grocery shopping,but I'm going home this weekend and my milk is suppose to go bad over the weekend so to force me to finish the milk I'm switching to an all cereal diet.

What do I want right now?

-about six extra hours after work so that I can actually do something

-about a 20 hour nap

Hm, what I want out of life...

House Season 2...grr...

To be a Forensic pathologist...

A sequal to Batman Begins, because I LOVE Batman.

and to marry someone I love.

...

...

...

And to meet Sherlock Holmes, but I'm not holding my breath on that one.

Let's see,

some chocolate (preferrable the good kind e.g Tobler, Lindt, Dove, or maybe a Cadbury Fruit bar).

to find a job, but not any job, one that pays relatively well and does not make me feel like running screaming into the streets.

to go to the bookstore and be able to spend hours and purchase much.

if I must watch baseball, could the rain delay at least be over? Please?
Update: Now it's cancelled, so I sat here for an hour waiting for the game to start and no dice-- of course the poor people who were actually there had to wait for two.

a very long nap without missing anything

a never ending supply of diet cola, chilled, ocasionally with lemon or lime.

along the lines of not feeling like a total waste of space, some hint that I do actually have some kind of potential and will live up to it.

Finally getting my writing kick-started.

To finally beat the wire-patching game on the MI-5 games on the BBC website (I went there to check what episodes Hugh was in, oddly enough I saw those episodes but have no memory of his character, but then that was pre-House, and instead I was sucked into the games. Highly addictive, but I just cannot seem to beat some of them).

Decent hair.

enthusiasm, for anything at this point.

To lose some weight ( but I hate to exercise for the most part). And I don't mean due to illness. As a matter of fact. . .

For my allergies to go away.

to meet someone decent and single of the opposite sex.Good-looking would be a bonus but not neccessary.

To be able to actually understand anything computer related, although a solid knowledge of web design would be nice too and helpful in finding a job (I'm a writer people, I write, I do not program, I do not do layouts, I write. Surely that ought to be enough, right.)

It to stop raining.

In an ideal world…

Love, understanding, The Smiths to reform, Arsenal to win the Champions League, England to win the World Cup and the Ashes, peace on Earth, food for all, cars that clean themselves, carpets made of sand, some basic organisational skills, cigarettes that don’t give you cancer, more trees…

In this one….

My parents to outlive me, a house by the sea, my cat to be nice sometimes, my brother to get home before Christmas (he’s heading to Iraq in November), three other people with time to play in a band, it to stop raining.

RT- I make great steak and onion sarnies so stop by some time ;-) Hope your mum feels better soon –best to you and yours.

Prplchknz – my ex was a Scandinavian snowboarder. They aren’t all their cracked up to be ;-)

A family (girlfriend, children, little home in the green coutryside) and my job I'm aiming at ;).
Yeah, right, that's what I'd like right now ;) ^_^
Best wishes,
Kater

To not be sick this weekend

My room mates not to pop the air matress, I understand it happening on accident but theyre just being stupid (Two of them have people visting so I offered, I haven't even used the thing for my guests and I'll be pissed if I get back and its popped.


People to leave so I can pack in peace.

too see my friends this weekend...

to sleep in my own bed

see my kitties

luckily the last three is gonna happen, this weekend.

$10,000, a Time Turner, and another parasite.

I want a real job, my own apartment and my parents to stop bugging me.

Oh, and a pony.

I echo many others,

I always answer "a pony" when someone asks me what I want for my birthday or christmas. Actually, I would prefer a horse rather than a pony since IMHO and experience the horse-world prejudice that ponies are evil is true. I think they feel they have to <a style='text-decoration: none; border-bottom: 3px double;' href="make%20up" onmouseover="window.status='make up'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">make up</a> for their size in attitude. To a non-horse experience person they look as if they're better since they're not as big--if nothing else it's not as far to fall-- whereas the larger ones look like they could crush (they could I guess, but usually won't) and possibly eat you without a second thought are scary. Virtually every really big horse I've ever met are actually pretty nice (when I took riding lessons, the absolute, bomb-proof, "schoolmaster" horse, was quite large; also note that Clydesdales are absolutely bomb proof too unless someone has abused them--then all bets are off for any kind of horse), whereas the small ones tend to be a little psycho. We won't go into the amount of refresher lessons I'd need however since it's been since my early teen since I rode a horse that required any skill at all to ride (there is a horseback touring place in the mountains about an hour or so from my house but these horses are so calm you could drop the reins, lie down in the saddle and have a nap and your horse would either stop to graze, or just keep following the horse in front of it--as they have been trained to do).

Also, yes a time turner would be super. My life is not currently all that busy (the truth is I'm a lazy bum and when I get a real job that requires me to actually show up at an office during regular hours I will be hating it big time), but it seems that when there's something I want to do there are about three or four others things that I'd also like to do at the same time. Witness last Thursday: my family has season tickets to the local university's football games (and I have been indoctrinated to be a fan since birth, possibly before all things considered, and it's worked), there was a game that night, then the daughter of a neighbor/sort of a friend had a wedding shower that night at the same time (I'm not a big fan of showers of any kind, but my family and hers have known each other forever and she's really wanted to get married and finally found someone so I'm very happy for her and want to support her; I initially thought I guess I can miss it, but I'll catch her at the reception, but she's decided to keep things simple--a decision I totally agree with-- and is not having a reception except for her close family and that of her fiance) and finally there was lecture happening at my church on a topic I'm really interested in, again at the same time. I went to the game, and have many observations on humanity, mostly negative.

And Auditrix if you are referring to the House definition of parasite, I hear you there as I'm becoming conscious of my own biological clock and always figured I'd have one or two (four max) of them myself, but first I need to find someone with whom to produce and raise said parasite, as while I admire single parents everywhere and I know if you happen to be one you figure out how to deal--if through uncontrollable circumstance I end up being one, I will figure out how to deal-- but I don't think I'm the type who could handle it and I don't want to become one on purpose. Hence the request to meet a nice, single, straight, member of the opposite sex, looks optional (somehow all the ones I run into are in a relationship or gay--not a problem I can always use a few more friends-- but not really helpful in the marriage prospect department.

Now for my big gripe tonight: I want all the telephone related devices/products in the house to work. I am seriously ready to defenstrate everything in that category. Finally decided to crawl (slither) out of the stone age and get DSL. Found a good deal through the local phone company. I couldn't figure out if we needed an outside modem or could just use the built in one for this. Technical support was called. They said since we have a relatively new computer the built-in one should work. Okay, sign us up--actually we had problems signing up on line too which also prompted the call as they seemed to not recognize our number as being signed up for their regular phone service, yet they send us bills every month, go figure :rolleyes: In signing up for DSL through them we get extra features on our phone, including caller-ID. You need a box, or we later found out a phone equipped for it, to use that.

The installation CD arrive Friday. I initially started installing, but found out we didn't officially start service today, so no use installing it yet. Today we acquired a phone equipped for caller-ID. The silly thing needs to be programmed. My mother, who is an even bigger techno-phobe than I am tried to do, but couldn't. After dinner I decided to try. I held down the indicated button to get the menu up. I got nothing. It was apparently working earlier, but Mom was taking too long so it kept exiting before she could finish selecting what she wanted. I held down the button, she held down the button, we tried a different button, we tried the same button again.

We called technical support at the phone manufacturer. Hold times:astronomical. Help tech: apparently not too bright--I try not to bad mouth these types as I spent several of the worst years of my life doing a similar job (hotel reservations), but from the end of the conversation I heard, help was a mis-nomer.

This person told us to do what we thought we'd all ready been doing, but, oh, well try again. Nope, still doesn't work.

Call back: hold time still astromonical.
Answer: check the batteries.
Batteries checked: yes they are in there right.
Take them out and put them back again just in case. Press the button again. Still not quite working (I see the menu now when I hold down the button, but the second I take my finger off to press something else, it's gone). Well let's try it then the receiver is on the hook. Bingo!
Press button again: Look, the menu!
Up arrow: Okay, language: English. Confirmed
Up Arrow: Area code. Confirmed.
Up Arrow: Time? What time is it again? Okay cool: 5:25 pm Date? 10/9/06 Confirmed. Great. Here ya go Mom, all fixed.

That took all of five minutes, after we screwed around for about twenty to figure out what to do. :blink:

Okay, now it's time to conquer the computer. That can't be so bad right? Yah, sure!

Turned on computer, inserted the CD. It's auto-running. Great!
And it says: There seems to be something wrong with your installation process. It may be temporary. Remove CD and try again in a few minutes. <sigh> Okay.
Take out CD. Put CD back. Same message <louder sigh>. Let's try something different. Install from beginning (instead of where I left off on Friday before I realized that it wouldn't activate until today).

Okay, now it's going. What option package do I have. Okay. No other programs running? No. What kind of modem do you have? Other. (oh goody, it's working, Happy, happy, Joy, joy, happy, happy... hey wait a minute, what's that?!?) Unplug the cable and put it back in again. Okay (but I'm not liking the sound of this). Okay, did that. What again? Okay, fine. Did it again. Now it's moving on. Cool dodged that bullet. And, now it wants me to "power cycle" my modem. I could do that, just one thing MY MODEM IS BUILT INTO THE COMPUTER!! sorry, was I shouting? I press okay anyway and hope it works. It doesn't. It says restart and call again or talk to tech support. Restarted, went through the same routine again. It doesn't turn out any better this time. I think maybe I put in the wrong type of connection when it asked, so I go back and tell it I have the other kind. The computer seems to accept this better and I am pleased. Then I get the same modem message.

Okay, I give up. Tech support it is. At least this tech support line has a brief hold time. I get a fairly nice gentleman with a bit of an accent (but I can totally understand him as it's very light, plus between having had a visiting professor from Hungary for Algebra and my previous call center experience there are very few accents I can't decipher anyway). He asks me a lot of stuff I don't know right off. I feel terrible (remember I've worked in call centers before and have plenty of experience with callers who frankly shouldn't have been allowed out by themselves). He is very patient and helps me figure out what's what (I was pretty sure I run Windows XP, but wanted to be sure, but couldn't figure out how to check; then I was trying to tell him what kind of modem I had; Had no problem finding it awhile ago, can't now, finally find it again, tell him what brand it is. he's puzzled and asks if I know if it's DSL or dial up. I finally just tell him what I do know: a person from the company said it would work, it was used with dial-up but I don't know if that means that it can't be DSL too. Finally he tells me to look behind the computer and see if I had an ether-net port. I look around for a while, I do have one, but I didn't have the phone cord in there. I plug the phone cord in there now.

I go triumphantly back to the phone and tell him he may have just solved my problem, although I can't seem to hear him very well. This is puzzling, but I'm happy. My DSL access is on the way. The computer is grinding away. The guy comes on loud enough for me to hear, sort of, and says something about high call volume and tells me to have a nice night. I figure we've got everything solved now and hope that he and his colleagues don't have too much fun at my expense when they discuss the dumb customer he had at break time.

Then a few minutes later I'm looking at the screen that talks about "power cycling" the modem. <GRRR> (yes I do spend too much time with the cat and have been known to growl outloud, convincingly). I try the restart thing again. Still no joy. Okay, back to tech-support an of course I didn't write down the ID number of the agent with whom I spoke at first. Yet another dumb customer point. I'll just talk to whomever I get this time and hope they don't need to look something up from my previous call, or atleast it won't be too hard. But now the phone doesn't have dial tone. I try a phone in a different room. Still no dial tone. I wonder if it has to do with what I just tried with the computer. I put the phone cord back in the place it was before. Now I have dial tone. I suspect I need a special cable for this. I call tech support now that there is dial tone.

This time there is no wait time. I get a different agent (female this time, again very nice and helpful). I explain the whole deal to her and she seems to have had an epiphany. I probably need an external modem. I explain to her that way back when we bought this service we had asked if our internal modem would be okay and they had said yes. I explained to her that I had the latest version of Windows. She said, actually it's the older, but not too old, versions of Windows that have DSL modems built in, so, yes we do need an external modem. "So you'll need to send us one then?" I ask. (and this is sort of okay they shipped the installation CD very quickly, so the modem I figured would arrive quickly).

"You could do that" she says, "but do you have a Circuit City or Best Buy store anywhere near you?"

"Yes, we do", says the Catlady with a hint of hope in her voice.

"Well they sell the same kind we have there".

She proceeds to help me figure out what kind I need and she is now my new hero. I tell her so.

However, I am not making a trip tonight. Tommorrow though, it's DSL time.

I also have some job related woes I'd like fixed, but I'll get to those later. As I must now buy a wedding gift for the friend whose shower I ducked out of earlier and it's getting late, plus I've probably hit the character limit.

Edited to finish a sentence pivotal to the story. And does anyone know why when I edit a post I get a bunch of randomly inserted garbage; it looks like code of some kind, but I don't know enough to tell? (I think I deleted it all this time, but. . .)

Okay continuation with job (hunting) woes.

I really wish my family could understand my job hunting angst. Of course if I try to explain said angst to them then they feel bad, and that makes me feel bad for making them feel bad. My family on the whole is so competent and put together that it's frankly scary. Then there's me: not only do I march to a different drummer, I've got my own separate band. And I want to make clear that, illogically, they love me just the way I am, but sometimes I think they feel disappointed and if they don't they should.

They are seriously everyone's ideal worker. They come in on time, leave late, do everything, and get along with everyone. I had a cousin who seriously, his bosses later told him this, got a job for which there were more qualified candidate because they just really thought he seemed like such a nice, together sort of guy (he does and he is). His last boss, who lives our neighborhood, kept telling us what a great worker he was and how grateful he was that we had reccommended him (this cousin's life of late has been a series of really awesome coincidences which, if I wrote had written them in a fiction piece, would be deemed totally implausible, but long story short, he was moving here to go to university and pursue girl he met elsewhere--and is now happily married to-- he needed a job, said neighbor needed a college aged guy to do some landscape maintenance, cousin got job, did great, moved up to higher positions and trusted employeedom, everyone there loved him and hated to see him leave).

Now, I'm told I do have a pleasant personality-- cute is the word that has been used, though I do wonder if that translates to wierd, but we don't want to insult you-- and I did have a former employer who said that essentially they thought I was just great, but they needed someone else (they also said letting me go was the hardest thing they had to do--I would add not as hard as it was for me, but anywho. . .). Anyway, my problem is that I have discovered that I can't just grit my teeth and endure a job that I don't like (whereas everyone else in my family can). I try to do it, it's the practical thing to do, but when I need to get out, I've got to get out whether I've got another job lined up or not because my performance and personality will start to suffer and in all likelyhood I will be making an abrupt exit soon anyway. I swear the job before this, which eventually became a complete grin and bear it (actually grimace and bear it would be more appropriate) situation made me suffer actual depression: I slept all the time and was not a pleasant person at work or at home (and I had someone in a class tell me "You really needed to get out of that job, I couldn't stand you when you had it". The truth is I couldn't stand me either--I was beginning to make House look like Emily Post). Having now gotten to the point where I don't hate the world and again believe in the possibility that I could enjoy my work I really don't want to go there again.

On that subject, I'm beginning to wonder who lied on that front. I keep hearing about do what you love and the money will come, maybe but it's definitely not here yet and as much as certain parts of my personality may be suited to freelance/self-employment I don't have the discipline, at least right now, and I'm lousy at the promotion end of it, plus freelancing has about the same problems as with making aliving soley from my writing (if I ever get back into "fighting form" again that is), it's a lot of sending things out and working your bum off for minimal money and no guarantees. At least for now, I need a regular job that has a regular paycheck--it needn't be much, but like I said, regular would be great--and insurance, for a change, as I'm currently going with the cross your fingers and hope you don't get too sick plan (with a lot of help from my parents on the huge expenses like medication and dental work, but it is not their job or responsiblility to support me, the fact that they can and do, is my extreme good fortune and I feel guilty about it despite their protestations that they wouldn't they don't mind and wouldn't know what to spend their money on anyway), but I know that's not a good plan (I am aware of House's Buck/Fusan lecture).

I thought the degree I just finished would help me in getting a job in a field that might actually interest me and at which I might be competent. I suppose it will eventually, but it's tough going and definitely not as easy as it would be could I program computers (nothing against computer programers, I love them and have many friends who fit in that category, although they often do not seem to speak English as we know it, and this was where I was hoping to come in). With this new degree, and the knowledge of what doesn't work for me in a job that I had gained I was ready to go out there and find something that would be a good "fit" for me. I decided, as I said before, that I can't settle and just grit my teeth with any job so I decided I would be somewhat picky, but with luck wind up in something that I could be happier in for longer and not bounce around from job to job the way I have.

An uncle of mine mentioned, perhaps in jest, that I was taking too long waiting for the perfect job, and that I wasn't going to find it, at least initially. That got me thinking maybe I'm being too picky, so maybe I need to start with something else, then work into my perfect job later. So I question my whether my standard are too high. And of course the problem with this is I'm either over or under qualified.

For some of the entry level stuff, I'm over-qualified now. I reassure the people who actually talk to me about these jobs that yes, I realize someone with a Master degree is over-qualified to be an office assistant or receptionist, but that for now I'm willing to work a little below my level if it can get me in with a good company where I can then grow into a job that might later be a better fit. So that should be win , win right. I get to make money, they get someone who has most of the skills they need, but not neccessarily the experience yet, who they can mold on the way up. Apparently not.

As for the jobs that someone with a Master degree could do, they all seem to need more years of experience than I have. I try for some of the ones that say they only want a Bachelor degree, but want more experience because I figure that I might have less directly on the job experience, but that I might actually know as much as someone who has a lesser degree and more experience. That isn't working out either.

I've considered trying to teach community college, which you can do with a Master degree, the problem is while the program I did is wonderful for preparing you for the real-life role you might play in the business world, you do not TA. So, my actual teaching experience is null, unless you count various classes I've had where essentially the students are the teachers and various informal teaching experiences I've had via my church or various hobbies (and even way back in high school my creative writing instructor often told us, "Okay, you guys are advanced students. The class is yours tommorrow come up with something for us to do" and we did. For those of you who have taken an on going writing workshop too, you know that half the time you're a teacher and about half the time you're a student anyway).

In a class I had on presentations (which covered tons of adult learning theory, so was sort of equivalent to a class on teaching) the instructor even told me after I had done a presentation on getting yourself started writing, that I should think of being a college instructor somewhere. Anyway, I think if they even let me teach a class to demonstrate my ability I might be able to pull it off fairly well but that isn't how the interviews have been set up. (confession time, I'd like to get a PhD at some point so I can teach at any college, and to improve my skills further, though I don't want to move out of state and thus the "instate intellectual inbreeding" thing comes into it, so I may not get to do it).

Anyway, the crux is I know what I dont' want to do and can't do. And frankly from some of my bad experience I'm sort of scare of getting a job becuase I've been through both experiences where I managed to convince employers that despite not having the exact experience they wanted, I had the ability and knowledge to do the job anyway and then gotten in over my head, and ones where I'm either bored, or simiply don't like the work and know that the "bull though it " option is not something I do well. Neither is fun.

Yes, I know it's called work not "happy-fun-time", as someone said, for a reason. And I didn't think I was lazy (I actually loved school for the most part, even when it was hard, so I think that proves that I don't mind working at something perse). People who express that sentiment really make me angry, but then they make me wonder if there is in fact something wrong with me. You may say I need a psychologist, but, much like House, I hate them with a passion. I do believe mental illness is real and it needs to be treated however, the sit around and talk about it thing is useless. I have plenty of people I can sit around and talk to for free thanks.

Anyway, I tell someone in my family about how I'm scared and they just sort of nod. And I do ask them for feedback, because like I said, they're normal people and I start to doubt that everything that I ascribe to just being personal style is really that and that I"m being lazy, so I check with them to try and limit that (my problem is I sort of work like House. I will get you what you need, when you need it, and it will be done well, at least IMHO, but if you watch me while I'm working you'll see a lot of fidgeting around and staring into space; I think I need to find an employer who can understand that, or at least understands that while I need a solid deadline everyone will be happier if you don't hang over my shoulder all the time; on the other hand maybe I just need to get a grip).

Anway, I'd like "the fam", as I call them at times, to understand that I'm not really trying to be a slacker and I really, really don't want to disappoint them, but this job thing may take some time, probably more time than they'd like (Then there's the tiny voice in my head that says, well you'd certainly hurry up if they weren't letting your sorry carcass sponge off them all the time, so kwitcher whining).

Catlady! You just hit the nail on the head!!! I'm in the same position logistically speaking. I worked on my masters while doing admin work, graduated, moved, changed positions (still kinda overqualified for my job). But now I HATE my job. A friend of mine recently put it very eloquently: "I would rather eat razorblades than go to work." I discovered, much to my chagrin, that I can't be self-employed or work from home... I do that now and I lack the motivation for it completely. Normally, I am an obsessive, A+ worker, everyone's "dream" employee (until I get bitchy and demanding) but now I am becoming a slacker. I am looking for new jobs, but like you said- I'm either waaaay overqualified or don't have the certifications/experience required. The only way out that I can see is to either a)find a sugardaddy b)join the peace corps- which I would totally suck at because I'm semi asocial or c)go back to school for something completely different (because I am not personally paying for anymore psych degrees).

As far as the perfect job goes- I have come to believe, that for me, it does not exist. Just not gonna happen. Before I moved to the field, I worked in the office- where I nearly exploded at seriously slacker, immature co-workers. I thought I would love working on my own. I was horribly wrong. I want the best of both worlds... and it just is not going to happen.

My current solution is to quit very soon.... and I'm working on a master plan to travel for about 3-4 months and maybe pick up some Espanol. Maybe that will clear my head. But I've said that before.

On the other hand, I was looking around travelpod.com today and found a cool statement- this guy went looking around for the 1 thing that would make him happy- a place, a job, a girl, whatever. Travelled for a few years... and decided that it would never be one thing and that the fun of it was the struggle. "Life is a journey, not a destination?" Hmmm.....

I'm not looking forward to when I have to get a job. I can get along with anyone and don't remember the last time I fought with anyone excluding my mom. My friend pointed out while I was home I can get along with anyone, which is true. I hate my roomates to the point that most people couldn't live with them, but we have yet to fight. I can tolerate them, when I get mad it means because it's a big deal to me and the person is close to me. My roomates aren't close to me so I don't care enough to get mad. If they weren't so sterotypical aka normal (don't tend to want to hang out with those types of people) I might like them better.

good luck with the job hunts catlady and nomad

I've decided I'm marrying a geek one of my best friends is one, my brother is too, and my dad is a pre videogame geek. I've always had someone around to fix my computer and I hate talking on the phone.

anyone find it slightly disturbing the dove is both a type of choclate and type of soap (not to mention shampoo and conditioner)

In a nutshell....

*to lose my baby weight (my baby is 10)
*to be healthy without having to diet or exercise
*to have self confidence
*to be a better wife/mother/friend
*to be able to finish my degree (time and $ needed)
*for HL to swoop in and take me away for one guilt free fantasy weekend

An addition to my previous post:



If anyone wants the mother of all head colds, see me and I'll pay you to take it away.

Afraid it's all yours, Doc. If it's anything like my regular mid-term cold-- I swear every time for several years, Catlady's sniffling and losing her voice, must be mid-terms again-- I sympathize.

You will be pleased to know that I have finally escaped DSL connection hell. There was another session last night which left me not only wanting to defenestrate the computer and the phone, but myself as well. Short recap, went to two stores to find the proper modem, they didn't have the model I wanted, but did have a more expensive model that also works, or it was supposed to. Figured I'd bring that sucker home, plug it in and away we go. Not quite. We went through all sorts of rigamarole to get the computer to recognize the modem. Spent several hours talking to a customer service agent, whom I suspect didn't fully know what she was doing, but at that point I wasn't feeling too charitable anyway. Finally, unplugged the modem, plugged it back in, and it's recognized. By all accounts it should have been working then, but while it said it was connected, it couldn't reach the internet. Messed with everything I could think of until about 2:30 am, then gave up, played a few games of Microsoft Pinball to relax-- I am total pinball addict and this is where the majority of my loose change went as an undergradute student, and would have gone as a graduate too had the student union not been devoid of pinball machines, and it's pretty fun, but just not the same as having an actual machine--and went to bed. It took one more call today to get everything sorted. I feel much better now.

And prpl, I don't know that marrying a geek is the answer. I'm not married to one but have/had several geek friends. You get a bit more than you bargained for when you ask them something. See you have a computer problem and you think, I'll probably see Mark and Joe tonight (names changed to protect the guilty), they know about computer I'll ask one of them. Sure enough, you run into Mark or Joe. You say "Hey, Mark (or Joe) nice to see you, mind if I ask you a question about my computer".

"Sure, no problem", say Mark (or Joe), "what do you need?"

You say something like: "Well my computer freezes when I do X. How do I make it stop?"

Then instead of Mark(or Joe) telling you "Do A,B and C, then restart your computer" they will launch into a detailed explaination of why the computer does this and how it works. If Mark and Joe are near one another they may have an argument about how best to fix the problem and in fact what causes it in the first place (Mark: well you'll need to get out your boot disk. Joe: Are you crazy? She doesn't need to do that. It'll just be a bunch of extra work, what you want to do is. . ." Mark: No that's too complex, she should. . .", it may eventually get to "Microsoft is junk anyway. She ought to just use Linux" "Are you crazy?".). This may go on for a while, as may the lecture, you can go, get a drink, use the toilet, get a sandwich and come back, they will still be at it and may not have noticed you had left in the first place, or one or both may just spout a stream of technical jargon at you, then look confused and slightly pitying, when you confess you haven't a clue what they just told you. At any rate, it's doubtful that you will come away with an answer that you can use anyway. Though I guess if you live with the geek in question you can just make them do it for you.

Of course it's not just computer engineers who have this problem. I learned early to never ask my uncle the electrical engineer something engineering related (electrical or otherwise) unless I had time for a brief lecture on the subject. And I'm ignoring my habit of giving way more information than anyone needs when asked anything about literature of any kind or one of my hobbies. Just the other night I was watching a rerun of some game show and they asked the question, "Complete this line 'Send not to ask for whom the bell tolls. . .'". I shouted out the answer (it tolls for thee), the author (John Donne, pronounced Dunn, which I find odd), and rambled on with my thoughts on the author (he's a misogynist, but did you know he was a minister, and oh yeah. . ..) Everyone else in the room :rolleyes: :blink: :angry: :( :unsure: Shut up, Catlady!!!!

So, what else to I want?

The chocolate still sounds good.

My kitty to pay attention to me (she's currently watching television with her favorite person, who is not me if you haven't guessed, and probably purring her head off at the joy she feels being in his presence never mind that he never cleans up the hairballs, or changes the litter and was reluctant to even have a cat in the first place).

In line with Benj on sports, the forces of good (University of Utah) triumph over evil (Brigham Young University aka BYU aka the "Y") in general, but especially in football. Those outside the state may not know it, but this is a serious one right up there with Kansas State Vs. K. U. and, dare I say it, Cambridge vs. Oxford (I totally related, despite having not even competed in intramural sports let alone varsity, when Hugh mentioned still being angry about a rowing race that Oxford lost to Cambridge, but feeling reluctant to mention it lest Cambridge feel pleased with themselves. It's the same deal.) It is less fun now that I don't have ready access to BYU fans however. My cousin went there but the poor girl is simply out-numbered now since her father, her mother, my parents, my other aunt and uncle, her older brother, I, and finally her husband, went to the U of U. I don't see my old fencing coach anymore either, and teasing him was probably ill-advised anyway as he had the means to get back at me painfully (okay, for warm-ups tonight, go do 100 lunges, then I want you to practice your disengage until your hand falls off--okay he didn't actually say the part about my hand falling off, but I knew he meant it-- then come see me and we'll work on your enguarde--by making you hold that position until your legs start shaking, again not actually said but meant).

And with all the people who want to be finished with their various degrees it may be strange, but I think I'd like to go back (must get a life and make money first, but wah, it's scary out here).

Finally, Fox to quit teasing me, literally I guess, with previews for House. They sound so good and it's still three weeks to go. :(

I want descent tv. I want them too stop cancelling good shows and quit bringing back stale reality tv. I'm hijaking tv whose with me? I'm reviving Wonderfalls and keeping Lost and House other then that if any thing you'd like revived. we're(me) holding tv hostage and forcing them to start production on shows cancelled early (with in reason aka the actors are still young enough/alive)hell they did it with family guy.


and too feel sorry for myself aka drink myself into tears or until I puke damn drinking age I don't want to go hunt down whiskey i just need about a 5th (possibly more depending on proof)and I'll be happy. I could go drink with others but I want to be anti-social

catlady I see what you're saying my dad's has mechanical enigeneer degree and whenever mine or my mom's car break we get a lecture

Does anyone else attract geeks like me? I like my guys intelligent, but completely rugged... no geekdom. But yet...

I don't know about hijaking tv... maybe throwing it out the window and letting them come out with a dvd per week of House makes more sense for me.

Three cheers for me today.... I sent the "I'm quitting' e-mail to the boss :) Yay! Official resignation in t minus 30 days. God, I'm not sure I'll make it.

Hey! I actually like geeks. They're kind of cool in their own way. I even kind of get their humor. Now the ones I attract are just flat-out wierdos. I'm not just talking kind of wierd here--I probably fit that description myself-- I mean creepy wierd.

And if you're bringing back TV programs I have a few requests too. First "My So-Called Life", another series of Highlander (focusing on Peter Wingfield aka Methos this time since Adrian Paul decided he was sick of it), also "Tru Calling", and for the kids "The Electric Company" which totally rocked my preschool world. Having read a website about it lately I have decided that it just rocked. Period.

And congratulations Nomad. You've taken the first, big, scary step. Good luck.

I like geeks or guys with the scruffy look I dont like atheletic guys they do I have to be taller then me by at least 3 in

Catlady -- I think that whole need to explain how it works is a guy thing. I work in IT and I can just answer the question without all the explanation. I may ask you a few questions before I answer yours to get a better picture of the problem and where it may be originating or which solution may be best but thats' it.

There would only be two situations where I bother to explain things. One is if asked for an explanation. The other is if the problem is being caused by the user doing something wrong and the solution is them correcting their behavior. At that point I feel they need to understand why I am asking them to change their behavior or they won't. Otherwise, I'll be at their desk every other day fixing the same things!

Back to the guy thing. My dad is like that, and just about every other guy I know. I could be wrong but in my little circle of influence, it's the men!

And, yes, it is a big scary world out there! But I love it! Nothing like dealing in reality to make fantasy so appealing! :lol: I have a love/hate relationship with school. I love learning things and really, if I'd have had the money, could have happily spent my entire life in the collegiate world. But it is hard at times because some of what is taught has either no bearing on the real world or is would just not fly out here! (Some of the crap they teach in ethics is amazingly unreal! Nice thoughts but ain't gonna happen in reality bud!).

Anyhow, I don't know if there is a perfect job out there for you or anyone else but, I also know that sucking it up, well, sucks. The nice thing about it though is that if you have worked some really sucky jobs you have no problem recognizing a good one when you get it.

That sounds simple but believe me, some people have no clue. You seem like you have a good idea of what you don't want but have no idea what you do. Am I correct there?

If so, maybe you need to examine, not "What is my ideal job?" but what do I want to do (and I'm not just talking jobs, but anything in life)? And not just the one thing but three or four at least. As you look at them you'll probably see a theme. Now that you've got a theme, you can look at other jobs that maybe you hadn't thought of that are in that theme.

Could help you at least get started. Find something that you can do, that you find interesting, and can be reasonably happy doing. Once in, you can start the search for the perfect job. You may just find that you're already in it!

I find that I do best when I'm put in a challenging situation. When things are constantly new and fresh. IT gives me that. It's still computers, and many times it's the same old problem but at least once a week there is a new twitch or quirk that keeps me learning.

I had never thought about a career with computers. It's a long story but this really has turned into a great job. I have days that I hate it but it is such a challenge I can't hate it for long.

And I know you said you aren't the suck it up type, and I don't know how long you spent in the other job but it may take some time initially to get to love a job. When I first started in IT I would go home all stressed and grumpy and thinking "What the hell was I thinking taking this job. I know nothing, I just f*ck things up, I'm gonna get fired. Or break some really expensive piece of equipement and then I'm stuck working there forever until I pay it off. I might as well just quit and go back to factory work. Or better yet, shoot myself and get it over with now!"

I was not pleasant to be around and probably hell to live with but as I got to know things I calmed down. I still get stressed when the unknown hits (our email server keeps crashing on the weekend and we can't find a reason! The president isn't happy! I'm stressed :blink: ) but I know now that it will pass and things will be okay and I'll be smarter for the experience.

But this is obviously my situation and may not apply at all to you, I'm just trying to encourage you! Good luck and don't fret too much.

Nomad -- Congratulations! I guess it's a good thing since you are excited about it. :huh: Good luck in your next endevour. I hope you find just the right thing to do next.

1. get rid of lame ass shows such as parental control, next, f & laguana beach (all which my room mates watch nonstop) I'm tempted to throw my shoe at the tv

2.people to understand why I don't want someone else cleaning up my messes (I get mad when my mom or anyone tries to help)

3.to throw a pair of headphones at my room mate her music SUCKS. I I understand not everyone is gonna like my music so I use headphones.

Yes I'm cranky.

I hear you on both of those.

To everyone: yes I know you think you're doing me a favor by organizing or putting away my things, but there is either a reason for why they are out, or I have a specific plan for putting them away. It may simply appear that I have random piles lying around however logic has gone into the composition of those piles. Also please note that I know it's time to thin the herd bookwise, or at least move some of them to a different location. I do store books in a couple of different place, but there is a subtle difference to me (usually depending on subject, frequency of use, and quality/enjoyment) between the books that stay on the shelves, the ones that go in the hamper(s) in the closet, and the ones that go in the boxes under the bed. Finally, do not, I repeat, DO NOT move my things--yes I know it's anal-retentive, boardering, apparently, on Asperger's-like-- but I like things where they are if a decision must be made on where to put them instead, I will make it. Yes, I know there are more convenient places for some of them. I will consider the pros and cons of finding what you deem a more appropriate place for them and decide from there. No one will be happy should you ignore this. Believe me, I can perseverate with the best of them. You will not win (neither will I, but at least you won't win).

Can I add to your protest about the roommate the people who drive around with highly amplified car stereos at top volume. I am glad you enjoy your sound system (and consequently) your music so much, however my enjoyment thereof is non-existent. Please feel free to rock out and/or get funky in your car--I know I do (the person apparently howling during the chorus of Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London", that's me)--, but do it with the sound a bit lower and your windows rolled up. This goes double for those who drive down the semi-busy street next to my house late at night on the weekends. Yes, may not technically be asleep, and I know this marks me as old before my time and a fuddy-duddy (I was born that way, I know, and you pity me for it), but some people are trying to sleep (fortunately I could sleep through a thermo-nuclear blast next to my ear for the most part), while I am not one of them, these hours in the late night/early morning are my alone-peace-and-quiet-me-time. Your loud rap music is depriving me of this pleasure. Surely, you can play your music at loudly and still not actually rattle my windows.

Addendum: If you are drunk/high/having a psychcotic break/ otherwise messed up and happen to be walking down my street at night, please no matter how brilliant of an idea it seems, do not stand on my lawn and shout (albeit slurredly) at the top of your lungs/argue with your friends who are trying to tell you how messed up you are. Thanks you.

Now I will apologize for being such a downer on this thread this week. It was such a happy little thread, and like so many things in life, it was corrupted. I do sort of know what I want to do, although RTLemurs is sort of right, it's just what to do to make money in the interim that's got me stumped. Anyway, I'm apparently having a rather bad week self-esteemwise. If you just ignore me, eventually I will go away/suck it up. Cheers.

I've never liked loud music. I keep most things on relatively low volumes cuz past a certain volume I have the urge to writhe around on the floor screaming. I do however have to turn my music up walking to class but that's cuz the trains are so loud. I did one time to spite my brother turn my music up to a riduculas decible only because his was so loud. That ended up with him holding a screwdriver to my throat,and me screaming (which I never do most of the time when I'm terrified I stand their in stunned silence.)



I figured the only thing I want in life is to travel rest of it I could care less about. unfortunately I need money so I've decided to stay in school and change my concentration to documentaries.

I'm quiet when I'm drunk/high/having a psychotic break/otherwise messed up although supposdly I had an indepth conversation with my cat one time at 3am I told my mom I was a sleep even though I knew I wasn't.

I want to drop out. I should I hate college I wish I had never agreed to go. I didn't want a college education. My mom keeps telling me to stay here another semester and I can transfer but I don't want to. I'm so lonely; know what I did last weekend? didn't leave my place for three days. My art history class went to the Art Institute and I talked to someone or tried to I guess I did have a conversation. Later I over heard her saying something about "she just started talking to me" and I don't know if I'm paranoid or if that was about me. I have no friends everyone I try to be friends with rejects me I don't fit in. I really only leave my place to go to class which is only 12 hours a week. I go grocery shopping when I need food.

well, that's one way to go about it. My suggestion is to stick it out for just a bit longer. How long have you been there? Not long? And what kind of school is it? Public? Private? Stick out a little longer (one more semester) and then get the heck out if it doesn't work. Don't spend 4 years of your life being miserable. I didn't fit into my totally private Greek-central school, but stuck around because I was into the athletic program there and for some reason couldn't imagine leaving the team behind. I was acquaintences with my team, but never buddies and I don't talk to any of them now. I was very fortunate to have a really cool roommate (who transferred after freshman year... but I actually still talk to her). I talked about transferring every single year and came very very close my junior year. On the other hand, my misery in college led to me moving to Germany for 3 years and meeting the best friends of my life... so there was benefit... but it was still 4 years of being the outcast. If my roommate my freshman year had been an idiot, I would've left after the 1st semester. But we made a pact to stay 2 years... and then she bailed on me! ARGH! I forgave her....
My experience has been that it takes a while to really get to know people- even in Germany, it took me about 6 months to find a group with which I was really tight.

Keep your head up. And if that doesn't work... go somewhere else.

Yeah, I don't have a choice really unless I wanted to move back home with my family which is defiently out. I really hate my room mates they keep on pointing out who they think is ugly and I mean once in awhile yea that's fine but all the time? Not to mention alot of these people aren't all that ugly. I would never dream of calling people on TV ugly and ripping on them.

We watch lost and I get things and they're sitting their confused and I'm like "hello?" mostly because if they paid attention they'd get it. Not to mention my room mate has to change the channel. I yelled at her cuz we missed a little bit of the show because she can't watch commercials. Well I can't watch laguana beach or flavor of love but I allow it...they yell the most stupid things at the tv.

wow I think I might be less homicidal towards my roomates. Could be that they're out.
(I have 3 room mates)

I'm no genius, but wow...my roommates make up awhole new category of stupid. Maybe its more they're the type of people I avoided my whole life.

I kinda want to stay in this school because its a film school, and I want to work on documentaries for either the travel channel or discovery perhaps the history channel, although if I did work for the history channel I'd get a degree in History. The other thing I want to do is write movies and perhaps be on a team of writers for a show;preferably one with Tim Minear and Joss Whedon. I wouldn't complain about being on a team with any of the House writers, but Whedon and Minear write more my style . Probably not all at once, but the film program here has so many connections to the industry. Actually the documentary part I might actually rather do that independantly but I was thinking if I worked for someone they might pay for me to travel-that could be a delusion

Just to throw this back at you-

There are ALWAYS options- namely striking out on your own. This is what student loans are for. :) They suck later- but if you're desperate, it could be worth it. Student loans + part-time job is great... or full time job. Depends on the amount of torture you want to endure. I find I'm happiest when I'm busy doing things and have no time to dwell on stupid crap.