You will remember Melissa's writing from her first fanfic "Cripple" this story is very different and I think you will like it as I do, Melissa started talking to me about this idea off list in November. She then started sending it to me bit by bit. I kept on telling her to post it but it turned out she was away from home and could not post it so I offered to put it up for her.


JUSTIN ~ part one

by mt83

It was the second Friday of the month, and that meant that House had Justin for the weekend. This meant nothing to Cameron, Chase, and Foreman, of course, because every other Friday he strolled out of the office saying he “Had season tickets to see the monster trucks” so he had to leave early at 3pm.

He found Wilson in the cafeteria. “Monster trucks tonight.” He said.

“Oh yes, the second Friday. What will you do with the young man tonight?”

“Shhh...They might be here.” House looked around the cafeteria for signs of his staff. “Well, he had an ear infection and a cold this week so I don't know how much he'll be up for tonight.”

“Ahh. Sick children. Your favorite.” Wilson smiled. House eased into a chair.

“Hey, I called him this week when he was sick.” House said. House didn't take kindly to Wilson mocking his parenting skills, or lack there of. “What makes you father of the year? Oh, right! I forgot. Those with all the answers don't have children.”

Wilson smiled “I'm sure Justin would vote for you as “Father of the Year.” He noticed how House smiled at the mention of his son's name.

“Yeah, If I could carry him around and play baseball with him he would. Not right now. Not many “Father of the Year awards go to cripples.”

Wilson shook his head. “Justin doesn't care about that.”

“I do.” House said. For a moment, Wilson could see the pain in his eyes, before House said “I have to leave.”

At least he never really left Justin.

He kept no pictures of Justin on his desk. There was one in the bottom of the big, left hand side drawer, but other than that, no mention of him. House never talked about Justin with the great ease that other people talked about their children. Mentioning him would mean more questions, which he, embarrassingly enough, did not have the answer to. He didn't know his favorite color or who his best friend was. He forgot what grade he was in half the time; first..

House parked in the handicapped spot in front of the school, cursing the school rules that Justin had to be signed out by whomever was picking him up if he got there slightly early. But signing him out meant avoiding crowds.

He walked into the school, looking at all the friendly colors on the wall. Papers with smiley face stickers on them. He turned the doorknob and negotiated his way slowly into the office, signing the book. He wrote the name “Justin House” quite quickly, even though he saw him only once every two weeks. He sighed with relief that there were no children in the office to ask him about his cane.

Few people from his outside life knew about Justin,with the exception of Cuddy and Wilson, yet the school secretaries know Dr. House by name and smile warmly at him. “I'll call Justin, Dr. House, it will only be a minute.” The secretary calls his son's classroom and in moments a striking dark-haired, blue-eyed boy opens the door. “Hi Daddy.” He says, embracing him briefly.

“C'mon, Justin, let's go.” House says. His weekend of fatherhood begins.

Justin let himself in the backseat, fastening himself into the ridiculous booster seat he had to sit in since he did not weigh enough to go in the seatbelt. He settled in comfortably. “Daddy?” He said. House didn't look at him through the mirror. “Daddy?” He tried again.

House jumped a tad. “Yeah?”

“Mommy said you took the rat home from our house and put it in a cage.”
House smiled. “You'll meet Steve in a minute.”

“Is Wilson coming over?” Justin asked. He liked Wilson, and Wilson liked being around a healthy child every once in a while.

“I don't know.” He paused. “Mommy told me you have an ear infection? I have the medicine with me.” He inspected justin's face for signs of fever, illness, but he looked fine He missed daily interaction; he never was involved with his son for the tribulations of illness.

“Yeah, now I'm okay though.” He assured him. And so it began. Justin was accustomed to his father's behavior. He didn't question it. His father had never let him down. House never missed a visit, even if half the time he didn't know what to do with Justin, or hated sharing his Game boy games.

Justin loved his father. He looked forward to every weekend with him. But he never expressed this, because he had the feeling, even at age six, that his father would not be comfortable with this. But when he tucked him in at night, even though he wasn't that good at it, he felt loved. He called Justin every day.

Justin felt fine at first coming home, he flipped on cartoons and watched Steve McQueen on his wheel as House checked his e mail. But House noticed the moment the ear pain started as Justin slumped on the couch, his hand over his ear, wincing.
"Does your ear hurt, Justin?" House asked.

"A little." Justin said. His ear was actually very painful, but Justin didn't want to bother his father. He knew his leg hurt all the time and did not want to upset him.

"Let me peek in there." He went to get his otoscope. He pulled it out of the drawer of the desk, limped over to the couch and Justin obediantly slid himself over so that House could have a look.

"Justin, I see tears in your eyes, buddy. This still looks pretty infected. It would hurt. Let me get you some Tylenol."
House shook his head, knowing that Justin was protective of him, and cursing himself for seeming to need such protection. He limped into the kitchen and looked on the "Justin" shelf where all of the children's products were held, and retrieved cherry Tylenol and a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Here." House said, pouring the cherry Tylenol into the cup and handing it to him.

"Thank you." he said. "I don't want to go home."

"Justin, you don't have to go back to Mommy's house. I can take care of you."

He sat down with a sigh next to Justin, propping his leg up on the coffee table. Justin leaned his head against his father's side, then buried his face in his stomach and started to cry.

"It hurts, Daddy. It hurts."

House felt the tears against his shirt and sighed, rubbing his head, then kissing his hair. "I know, I know."

"I'm sorry." House heard him say through sobs.

"For what? Being sick? Ear infections hurt a lot. Daddy deals with sick people all the time."

House mentally added But you probably already know I don't like sick people.

Justin cried a little more and then sighed, closed his eyes, and fell asleep against his father's shoulder.

House felt for the first time that he could adequately comfort his child. For the first time, he actually felt like a Daddy.

House looked down at his sleeping child, rubbing his head. How was it that he was now seven years old? He remembered Stacy's pregnancy, and them both being in the hospital together. But raising Justin together was so hard after the infarction. He'd look on as Stacy changed a diaper, feeling useless. When Justin started to walk, and would fall and hurt himself and cry, he couldn't save him from falling and pick him up.

But when he was sick, he wanted Daddy. And Stacy would look on lovingly as House wiped a running nose, sat with Justin when his cough kept him from laying down all night. Trivial illnesses usually irritated him. But Justin knew his Daddy could make it better.

Where had things gone wrong? Why did House isolate himself from Stacy and Justin? He at first thought he was sparing them his pain. But by doing so he caused them more pain. And so eventually Stacy and Justin moved out. House could not bear any reminder of Justin except for Justin himself. Pictures made him sad. He wanted Justin here all the time. He wanted to be able to make things work. Everyday, when he called Justin, his life brightened. Every other weekend, he was amazed by Justin. His life was full again.

Yet empty the moment Stacy came to pick him up.

Justin's eyes fluttered open. His eyes adjusted to see that his father was still sitting with him. He hadn't moved. He sighed with relief. "Daddy, I love you." He whispered, hoarsely.

House smiled. "I love you too, Justin. I wish you felt better, though."

It dawned on Justin that it might be difficult for his father to stay in one place for so long.

"Daddy, you don't have to sit here with me if you don't want to."

House shook his head. "I want to. Don't worry about it."

"It doesn't hurt?" he asked curiously.

House rubbed his son's head "Not as much as your throat or ear probably does. Go back to sleep."

Justin nodded, put his thumb in his mouth, and went to sleep
.
House ordinarily would have taken the thumb out of his mouth, but instead just stroked his face. He was truly lucky to have someone in his life that loved him as much as Justin.

Writing style is nice here and it has lots of postives. :)

Have to be honest and say I'm not a big fan of House having kids but that isn't to say it can't work and there are some nice concepts here. you deal with House's insecurities over being a disabled parent in a believeable way and his treatment of Justin is well handled. I like the idea that he feels the only way to relate is as a doctor, that makes a lot of sense and there are a lot of places you can go with this fic.

Only thing I would suggest is that some of the thoughts attributed to Justin seem a little advanced for a youngish child and not knowing what the boy thinks adds more than not knowing. If that makes any sense! Sticking with House's POV would work better- but that's just my opinion - hope you don't mind.

Look forward to more and I am hoping you are going to write in some Stacy. The idea of her as mother has never struck me before and I am very curious. :)

Cheers for posting!

Benj

I don't mind at all. The idea was kicking around in my brain and I thought I could make it work, provided I could make House MOSTLY snarky yet still love his child. Strangely, I never saw Stacy as a mother either, so I thought it would be interesting to toy with the idea. More to come with Stacy, and backstory of it all as well once I get it figured it out.
Thanks,
Melissa