It was tonight..

...Jacob was standing there, with his pack of bloody onigiri made out from intergalactic rice. And there was his nemesis, Lina Inve*** (copyrights). He took a bit of his onigiri and ate it, chewing each of rice one hundred times.

"I am Jacob. You don't like blue cheese. I will need to kill you for that"

With that he took the MU position. Nothingness will protect him from every strike his enemy would deal him...

...he had to fight, for the sake of the blue cheese.

..and everything was taking place in Denmark Legoland..

What the hell is this crap. It drived her insane. She can never imagine this happening, but it did. And to think that such a sacred land gave birth to such a filthy cult! How can this be? How can someone even consider blue cheese a food? And yet, such a creature appeared. A being not worthy of being called human. A true monster from hell.

"I am Jacob. You don't like blue cheese. I will need to kill you for that"

You scum. Chattering such nonsence with such a calm face. No, you do not deserve to live. I'll kill you for your heresy. I shall destroy this now, for the sake of humanity.

"You do not need to know my name, for you will die here."

Lina took out her sword. And prepared to fight.

"Gatotsu!"

"Brace your heart and take me if you can"

Jacob knew that stance. It was Gatotsu, the killing strike of the sword which would pierce his skin completely - also for some reasons Gatotsu can be used with his fist alone.. but that's just simply stupid.

"Your gatotsu might be strong, but you forgot to say "Aku.Soku.Zan" which makes it far weaker than original"

Jacob was not to take chances of getting sliced

"SHAZAM !!" Screamed Jacob when a great lighting hit Lina..and him. The legoland was falling apart.

"Holy Crap!!!! What a dangerous attack!" She was caught off-guard, but surprisingly, damage was not significant. So, this guy is willing to go as far as killing himself if it meant that his cult will be spread as the result.... He should be exterminated no matter what.

"I summon thy, Smoking Mirrored-eyes!!!!"

Now we are talking.

"Hahaha, you activated my trap !" Yelled Jacob with his sinister laugh

The summoned monster felt into some kind of hole
"Your smoking mirrored eye will fall into my spring of drowned-girl, imported from China Jusenkyuu ! - Now see how your great beast will change into little girl when poured with cold water"

..but then Jacob looked at the monster who changed into beautiful, neko-ear maid.

"What the deuce - I'm in love !" and his eye became hearth-shaped.

That was a miracle. For a failure to become victory.... None of members of the Round Table would believe her when she returns back. She shall use it to her advantage, she is to attack this opening.... Bur she can't. The Honorable Knight of Justice can not take advantage of the pure feeling of love. It would be a sin, a horrible crime, fitting for Satan himself. She will never let her name fall this low.

So, with heart full of Love for Justice, Lina throws the huge rock at the girl she summoned.

Little did Lina know that Jacob was trained martial arts by 2000 year old ghoul..ekhem..Chinese Amazon. With his ability of Breaking Point (Bakusai Tenke..something) he crushed the rock.

Unfortunately, the fragments of the rock killed the newborn girl...or maybe not killed, but she was nowhere to be seen.

Jacob was angry, his hair went gold and he screamed
"KAMEHAME....!!"

"Oh no, its that jutsu!!!!!!!!" Lina panicked... for a second. Now it was time to become serious. Now, that he started using Legenadary techniques, it was no helping it. She was bound to go the same way. Unfortunately, it will probably lead to compete destruction of Legoland, but... there was no choice, she had to do it for the sake of humanity. Sometimes, it is better to eliminate one city then to let the whole world collapse.

And she turned into Fernir, the wolf who was fated to eat the sun.

Shikon no Tama - there was simply no other way. To be come a whole yoma/yokai, Jacob needed to eat the shard of Shikon no Tama that he stole from Naraku.

Jacob rose in hundred time in size and decided that if there was to be eclipse which could destroy him, then he would need to eat the eclipse..

..meaning Jacob took and ate sun before it became threat to him.

"Spicy"

....Fernir was shocked. He, the one who's destined to eat the sun is now left alone with his hunger. Just what the hell is this? The soul of wolf was angered, wrath has poisoned his mind, the only thing he could think off was blood, corpses and seeps. Well, Yoma is hardly a sheep. In fact, it's a very shitty ship. But well, with no one else around...

Fernir, roaring like one of legendary creatures (well, he was one...), jumped on Jakob, attempting to cut his throat.

Fenrir ate Jacob's throat and the head fall over rolling around.

Jacob was rather unpleased with that fact, screaming to his body

"I am here you idiot !! Take me back"

The headless body of the yoma, because of the lack of eyes was having hard time finding his head so he decided on simplier move - regrow a new head.

Now Jacob had 2 heads, one on it's rightful place, one..not. Jacob took his other head which was starting to scream because it already knew what was going to happen

"BOMBERMAN THROW !!"

Fenrir was rather displeased with this development. Not only his prey did not die, the sun was not released either. So, what do we do now? It looks like Yoma was ready to sacrifice one of its' head.... how disgusting! No Nobel Wolf would ever do that, even if he head multiple heads. Seems like youth this days is rather carefree... Time to teach 'em a lesson.

Roaring like an old lady Fenrir attacked Yoma's abomen.

The head which headed at the wolf exploded - the neutrons inside the brain cells got divided in half making an nuclear reaction of great enery, making whole area covered in dust.

Jacob was just standing there and said "Wow, should have done that since the beginning - I wonder how many times I can regrow my head.."

Thats was tasty. Not as much as a real sun, but shit, you ain't getting to eat something like that too often. Nuclear reaction sure a re the best.... Fenrir wondered how many times can Jakob regrow his head....

Now, wolf was satisfied. Lina finally got the chance to return control over the body.... Slowly, the simple mind of wolf left, leaving some of his wrath behind. This wrath will feed Lina's hear for a while, enabling her to enter the berserker mode.

She wanted to roar, but thought that it would be strange coming from a tiny woman, so she didn't. Instead she shouted other words.

"DRAGON SLAYER!!!!!!"

"NOT SO FAST, BABY !"

Jacob took his Pokeball from his belt and thrown screaming

"GO CHARIZARD - FIRE BLAST"

The two blast came in contact, a dragon pokemon strongest attack versus a dragon slaying spell. Which would win ?

A monster appeared - it was surprising, Lina could never have thought that Heretics could possess such power over demons. Truly, they are a dangerous bunch of fanatics, this slaves of Satan shall not be allowed to live on the Earth. This holy fire is bound to exterminate them... OH SHIT. Dragon was able to stop Lina's attack, and even though he died in process it was truly impressive. For a demon to die for it's summoner.... This is truly honorable. Although what kind of honor is there in the demons universe?

She was out of options. The Ultimate Unavoidable Jutsu is to be used.

"I summon you, the forest of Ents!"

There was no other joice. Jacob summoned his Hassan-i-sabbah family and joined forces

"EARTH"
"WATER"
"WIND"
"FIRE"
"HEARTH"

"With those powers combined, I am born - CAPTAIN PLANET !!

Jacob commands captain planet to persuade Ents from not moving from their resting place as they steal precious oxygen instead of creating new..

The summoning seals were her favorite. Lina loved them so much for their beauty, for the way they sounded, ringing in her ears like the drops of rain.... She was a true Master of summon, the one, who could easily make her beasts come from any place she wants the too...

Now, the rain on Ents came down to Earth.

Captain Planet was not strong enough to defeat a horde of ents.. but Jacob new answer.

He went in time to see Captain Planet coming out from cinema with his parents after watching a lousy movie "Zorro". He then killed both his parents when Captain Planet was 8 years old. As Captain Planet was a billionare that time he was left alone with his inheritance and lived to plan revenge on every criminal in the world..

...the moment Jacob returned to present, there wasn't any Captain Planet..there was only Captain Batman !!

Captain Batman used his Fire Batterang to make the ent change into just a pile of dust..