This is written for Aurora, since.. Uhm, she asked me to, and she entertains me with absolutely brilliant stories, so what the fuck, I thought I'd give it a shot. ^_^ Though, it was horrible to write, I had the biggest headache ever, and then I'm not counting my cold, LOL. But I lived through it, thanks to chicken soup. Wow, I'm really coming off topic here! Anyway, it's slash, it's Heath/Orlando, and I think it's rated.. R, maybe? For depressive things, and drugs. (wheeeee, multi coloured pills!) I dunno. It's not like you'll be fucked up for life if you read it anyway. Though, I am pretty evil to Orlando. I love him far to much to let Heath have him. MUHAHA. ^_^ Soo... I hope you like it!
No one can fly forever.
I swallowed, fighting back the craving urge to cry, when he rose his gaze and looked up at me with those once amazingly wonderful eyes that so often lit up my day or made me smile. Now, they where black and empty, like two deep holes with no end. His facial expression didn't reaveal if he recognised my face, but I reckon he did though, we'd been to much for him to just forget. At least I told myself so. I couldn't belive, actually, I refused to belive that this man had ever embraced me, whispered sweet nothings in my ear, touched me, affected me, in ways I'd never been affected before, when I saw his haughty face. He was so pale, he looked so tender, so fragile, as if his perfectly sculptured cheekbones would carve through that sore skin that stretched over them.
There was no delicate smile on his cracked lips, no teasing glint in those dark eyes. This was nothing but a haugthy shadow of the man Orlando used to be. The thought of him being locked in here teared me up inside, I couldn't stand seeing him in this bed, even though I used to love the sight of him sprawling on the sheets, fucking full with all kind of chemicals.
A soft whimper escaped those usually soft and tender lips when I reached out to touch his sore cheek. "Oh Orlando.." I whispered, and he gazed up at me, still with those empty and soulless eyes. The worst thing about this whole fucking circus was that I, Heath Ledger, a fucking avarage Aussie with the most incredable boyfriend in the world, had played a major part in this, in his fucking addiction. Not that I jabbed the hit into his veins, no, but I didn't lift a finger to stop him. I just sat there on my lazy ass, just watching him destroy himself, and no, it was too late for me to stop him.
Orlando wanted to fly. But no one can fly forever, one day, somehow, finally, he had to come down. And he did, he fucking crashed right into the wall, and when I found him, he was blue. He was friggin' blue. He had told me that he didn't feel the sickness yet, but I knew. He was too ill to sleep, too tired to stay awake, he had pains and cravings when he needed a hit, he was a first class junkie, it was written all over his forehead, heck, he'd even inject C vitamin if it would give him a kick. Oh yeah, I knew. Still, I didn't do a shit. Even though every fiber in my body screamed NO as I saw him take the hit, I tossed around in our bed at night, not able to think of anything but that Orlando might die someday, if I didn't do anything. Of course, I did not. I was a coward, and there's no need to tell me that, because I am fully aware of the fact. I hate myself for it.
Maybe, if I had done something, he wouldn't lie here. If I hadn't listened when he said; 'People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shit which is not to be ignored, but what they forget is the pleasure of it. Otherwise I wouldn't do it. After all, I'm not fucking stupid. At least, I'm not that fucking stupid.' and flashed me a bright smile. Fuck, I belived him, becasue I kept telling myself that nothing would happend to him, not to my precious Orlando. I couldn't have been more wrong. "How are you feeling?" I tried lamely, and recevied an amused glare. "Like shit." He replied honestly, and let out a slight cough. "I need a hit." I winced, tilting my head. "You don't mean that.."
"Oh, really? Fuck, I'd do anything for one right now.." He yawned, closing his eyes as he leaned back on the soft pillow. I wanted to slap him in the face right there, but I knew how weak he was. Did I just say that? Well, scratch it, Orlando's strong, you wouldn't belive me if I told you. Maybe it's just me, who refuses to see him as the junkie he really is nowadays, maybe it's something else. But I do know that I will help him out of this. And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom. I finally understood him.
OMG...outstanding...I could feel Heath's pain...I could SEE how weak orli was...I could visualize everything...wow. You've captured me hun! YOU are talented. I really can't wait for more!
:blink: Kierra? Are you mad? LOL, you're a talented writer, this is a horrible, horrible little piece of.. Story. But hearing that from you.. woot. ILoveYouKthx. LMAO. :love:
Are you kidding! I could never write anything like this - EVER! But thank you for the compliment :blush: Iluvyoumatt LOL!!
Still, I think it is a masterpiece!
Oh, shut up you! :D :love:
First of all: why haven't you posted this at *pimp pimp*
http://www.livejournal.com/community/blooming_heath ???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cry: Please do so, it's fantastic!
Anyway, girl, you're the greatest! I completely loved this, so wonderfully described!
| QUOTE |
| I couldn't belive, actually, I refused to belive that this man had ever embraced me, whispered sweet nothings in my ear, touched me, affected me, in ways I'd never been affected before, when I saw his haughty face. He was so pale, he looked so tender, so fragile, as if his perfectly sculptured cheekbones would carve through that sore skin that stretched over them. |
:cry: That's so sad! Ooooh poor Heath! *cuddles Heath and kidnaps him*
| QUOTE |
| There was no delicate smile on his cracked lips, no teasing glint in those dark eyes. This was nothing but a haugthy shadow of the man Orlando used to be. |
:cry2: :cry2:
| QUOTE |
| I whispered, and he gazed up at me, still with those empty and soulless eyes. The worst thing about this whole fucking circus was that I, Heath Ledger, a fucking avarage Aussie with the most incredable boyfriend in the world, had played a major part in this, in his fucking addiction. Not that I jabbed the hit into his veins, no, but I didn't lift a finger to stop him. |
First of all, my sweetheart, you are NOT avarage. Second of all, erm... is there a second of all? :D Sad though, very sad :(
| QUOTE |
| Orlando wanted to fly. But no one can fly forever, one day, somehow, finally, he had to come down. |
:bow: This is brilliant, I completely love this part.
| QUOTE |
| 'People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shit which is not to be ignored, but what they forget is the pleasure of it. Otherwise I wouldn't do it. After all, I'm not fucking stupid. At least, I'm not that fucking stupid.' |
:no: No no no Orlando, you're completely wrong. You ARE fucking stupid, thankyouverymuch. You got Heath! WHo needs drugs when you got Heath! :D
| QUOTE |
| And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom. I finally understood him. |
Ahww.. great
Thank you thank you for writing this, it's brilliant!!, and please post it over at blooming_heath! :x
thankyouthankyouthankyou :x I love you Aurora! *cuddles* Don'worry, I'll post it there in a second :)
Posted. Whew, that was a looooong second. :P