I came into the world one hour and 50 minutes after my dad's 30th birthday on February 2, 1982. It was a blizzard, but what can I say? It was in Southwestern Ontario...very snowy. My actual name is Shanna...my mom named me after some sappy romance novel she was reading when she was pregnant. I was supposed to be an Amy before that novel. ^_^ I never liked my name growing up, but I like it now. I have spent easily half my life explaining to people that it may be spelled "Shanna" but it is pronounced "Shawna" - who cares about phonetics anyway, right?

I had a great childhood. I grew up in a small town of about 15 000 people. I lived right down the street from the town pool and ice rink, and in the fall, the county fair. I was a very inquisitive child, I spent hours sitting in my dad's workshop asking him how things work. Even if he didn't know, he would come up with some creative answer. He used to read me history books at nighttime...we read a book about how the Native Americans built longhouses - it was one of my favourites. My parents instilled in me a love of history. I cannot remember a time when I wasn't in love with furry little critters. When I was born my parents had a black cat named Mickey who was at that point already 7 years old. He lived until he was 19. The occasion of his death was the first major heartbreak of my life. He was my best friend. From the time I was about 7, I decided that I was going to be a veterinarian. I didn't really know what that entailed at the time, but my neighbour was a vet and he told me that in order to be a vet, I had to go to Guelph. My entire life, "Guelph" was this mystical place beyond the realm of reality. It was my goal to some day go to this magical place called "Guelph".

I was the smart kid in elementary school - I was good in pretty much everything but math. In grade 6 I almost qualified for enrichment, but my math wasn't strong enough. I loved French and history and science and English. As a kid, I did everything...I was a Brownie, a Guide, I took ballet and ice skating and bowling lessons and I was in a choir and I started working at 7 when I got a paper route, oh and I took piano lessons. But I didn't really like any of it. My mom was the lunch hour supervisor and went on pretty much every class trip that we took. I met my first best friend the second day of kindergarten when I approached her and asked if she would like to be best friends. We are still good friends to this day, although she now goes to school in Sudbury (about 8 hours up north) and spends most of the summer on the river near Ottawa (about 5 hours east). I wasn't overly popular in elementary school, but I had friends and was liked, and I do have fond memories of it, even if I may have romanticized it a bit.

I started grade nine in 1996 and was TERRIFIED out of my mind. But all went well, until October when my parents said that we were moving! Horror of horrors!! We were to move in June. The rest of the year, and all the new friendships made seemed to me to be a complete waste of time. I really haven't kept touch with any of those people. My grade nine experience seems so remote and actually feels like it was aeons ago. Elementary school seems nearer, maybe because I spent nine years with those people, rather than just 8 or so months.

So...we moved, and I cried and cried. I vowed to hate this new town (which is actually a city of 70 000) forever. I got over that...it is home now, and I wouldn't move back. We stayed in a hotel for 10 days in the new town (which is on the American border..was that ever weird...to be right beside a whole other country!!), and I felt uprooted and as if I had no home. My brother and I spent hours in the pool, though, so that was fun. I spent that summer getting used to the new surroundings and swimming in the lake (Lake Huron). We took a few tentative excursions to Michigan, but *gasp* it was exactly the same as Ontario...just more expensive. :shine:

The first day of grade 10 was horrible. Everything went fine in the morning, but then in the afternoon there was a mix up and I was shuffled around to different classes and when I eventually got to the right class, it was locked! The teacher didn't want to let me in! I was mortified. I was very near to tears, but I made myself calm down. Weeks later, I met someone who was soon to become one of my very best friends. The rest of highschool was a blast. I had a small tight knit group of best friends whom I loved. They are still my very best friends, and I cannot forsee any day in which they would cease to be so dear to me. We all went to different universities, which is actually for the best, as we each grew in our own separate ways but also have new perspective on how important we all are to each other. I'm not one to amass friends just for the sake of quantity - I'm interested in the quality of the relationship - no fair weather friends, thanks. I was a choir geek (and my friends were in band)...we traveled to NYC and Washington DC - I loved NYC and would love to go back to visit. Most people from highschool have been forgotten - only the most important remain in my life. At the time highschool seemed so important, but it was only a blink of time in the overall adventure of life.

Then it was time to apply for university. I chose three, although I didn't care the least about my 2 secondary choices. I had good grades all through highschool and was confident that I would get into Guelph. (I had by this time put together what "Guelph" was). The day I got my acceptance was one of the BEST and most fulfilling days of my life (so far). To know that even a fraction of a dream has been realized is the epitome of bliss, let me tell you. All my friends got into their universities of choice as well...so we were a pretty happy bunch. Had a little bit of a panic attack the summer before university, I was very scared that I would lose contact with my friends. The day before we all went our separate ways, we had a little party and said goodbye. When I got home that night I cried buckets of tears - I was nervous about leaving home, I wondered why I was doing this to myself, I was scared of leaving my friends (I'm getting a little choked up thinking about it actually). But my mom and dad held me and let me cry...they are so great, even if I give them a hard time sometimes (I was actually a very good teenager, never rebelled too much, just a bit of under age drinking really and staying out late).

University is a shock to the system. I was probably overly confident when I arrived there (at least on an academic level). Highschool was easy for me...university courses were not. The combination of homesickness, loneliness, fear and uncertainty did have an effect on my performance as a student. And, really, I do rely heavily on my personal accomplishments too much for feelings of self worth, so at times I was pretty depressed in first year. But I met some really great people (whom I got a house with and still live with now-I would say they are surely my newest best friends) and I definately grew a lot that year!! It was a stressful year also because my grandfather died in November of 2001. You know when you get a phone call from someone and they have a hesitant tone to their voice? That was the tone in my dad's voice...and I just told him to get on with it and tell me what was wrong. I have never ever cried as much in my entire life. And it was hell because I was practically all alone - I had only known these people at school for 2 months and I desperately wanted my family and my friends from home. That same year my gramma suffered a pretty debiliating stroke. It wasn't a banner year. But I still have fond memories of outings with new friends etc.

I do have a very distinct memory of walking around campus and feeling as if I were in a dream...no longer was Guelph a fairy tale kingdom, it was earth and stone...a very real place.

Guelph is the only place in Ontario (and one of only four places in Canada) where you can get your veterinary degree. First you have to do at least 2 years of an undergrad degree and do an MCAT, an essay about yourself, a background sheet and an interview to get in. Last year I started wondering if I wanted to really be a vet. It wasn't the actual acceptance progress that deterred me, but I just realized that people change. I still wanted to do something in the animal field, but I didn't want to be a clinician anymore. This process of deciding took about 10 months. It is very hard to give up on a dream. I am the first person in my family to go to university, and that comes with pressure. Not from my parents, but from myself. I am very very very hard on myself. I can go from feeling like I can do anything to feeling as if I am the most worthless stupid person on the planet in about 20 minutes flat. I studied all summer for the MCAT, and then it was cancelled due to the blackout that we had on the eastern seaboard in August. I got my money back, and decided on grad school. I want to do something in pathology or animal nutrition.

I've never been in love. Not that I wouldn't like to be, but it just hasn't happened for me. At times I feel that if I was just smarter or more accomplished or more outgoing or of course beautiful, that I would magically find the right person. I was never the kind of girl who wanted a string of romances. I'm for the quality, not the quantity. But I know in my head that I can't change myself in order to attract someone - it would all be a lie. So someone will have to just want to be with a science geek who wants oodles of animals, who likes to read but hates coffee, and who likes cooler weather because she's a redhead and burns like hell. When I was younger, I wanted no part of marriage or children. I wanted a career. But I guess things have changed a bit...I can do both if I wish. My mom is happy about this. :shine:

My dream is to become accomplished...to find out something important...to break a code (ie...figure out this BSE thing)...to publish a wonderful article in a highly respected journal. I think I want to be a prof. I want to have enough money to be comfortable. I did not grow up rich, but we weren't poor either. But this year I am the typical poor student!!! This is highly annoying. I like to shop!!
I want to live in a big city (probably Toronto) for a few years - for the culture, and then find a farm house with a few acres to settle down in. I want gobs of animals running around. I want a pond and a gazeebo. I want to travel more. I do not want to wait until I am 53 like my mom to go to Europe (my parents went to Italy last year). My roomate is going to England for reading week (next week!) and I am insanely jealous!!! :lalala: I am desperate to see the world. But I also want to see the rest of Canada!! I have only been to Quebec, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. I have never been on a plane (except in utero when my mom went to Edmonton). My home base will most likely always be Canada (probably Ontario since all my family is here).

Well...sorry that this is so long...I'm not much of a writer, but if you let me start, I can talk/write for a looong time. So..that's just me, your typical 3rd generation North American mosaic of various European backgrounds (Irish, Scottish, British, German, French, Austrian and Hungarian to name a few) ;-)