Title: On terrible toes and promising premieres
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Johnny/Orlando
Warnings: Slash. Senselessness as usual.
Disclaimer: All made up. Except for The Bite.
A/N: Dialogue-only. This is all Laila's fault :P I asked her for a first line and she gave me one: “You’ve gotta be kidding me – are those painted toe-nails?” Here’s the result.
On terrible toes and promising premieres
“You’ve gotta be kidding me – are those painted toe-nails?”
“Yeah, you like ‘em?”
“Well, they’re rather uh… colourful.”
“I thought you liked colourful?”
“I do, Orlando, I do. I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t like colourful.”
“You don’t seem too enthusiastic is all I’m saying.”
“Yeah well… It’s just that I like your toes in their natural state, you know, without the… glitter.”
“It’s not only glitter. There’s also purple and orange and—”
“Yeah, I ah, noticed.”
“And here’s a little red and blue, you see? It took me ages to get it like that.”
“That’s… that’s lovely baby.”
“I actually wanted to paint ‘I love Johnny’ on them, you know, one letter on each nail, but it didn’t fit.”
“Aw, that’s sweet. In a scary kind of way.”
“Scary?”
“Reminds me a bit of that time you wanted to wear a shirt that said ‘Depp is mine’ to the Pirates-premiere.”
“It was ‘I fuck Depp’, actually.”
“Even scarier.”
“It would have been cool, though, wouldn’t it? Give them a bit of a shock.”
“I think you shocked them enough by biting my shoulder.”
“How can that possibly be shocking?”
“How can that possibly not be shocking?”
“If you think an innocent bite in the shoulder is shocking you clearly haven’t seen me at my most wicked yet.”
“Somehow, I don’t mind.”
“You say that now.”
“I’ll say it again if I have to.”
“Sometimes you’re such a bloody bore, you know that?”
“I do. That’s why you’re with me. To compensate.”
“To shag, you mean.”
“That, too.”
“And to stun you with my wicked ways.”
“I’m stunned enough by those glamrock-toes of yours, thanks.”
“You don’t like them, do you?”
“I think it’s safe to say that they appal me, yes.”
“They appal you.”
“I’m afraid so.”
“I can’t believe this. I spent hours on them. Hours!”
“It pains me to think of all the useful things you could have done in that time.”
“Like shagging you?”
“I was thinking along the lines of cleaning out the mess that is your closet, actually.”
“Imaginative as always, I see. But since we’re on the subject of closets…”
“Oh God.”
“…I really think it’s time to, you know, stop being so damn secretive.”
“I’m not secretive. I’m just… tactful.”
“Tactful my ass. You didn’t even let me kiss you on the premiere.”
“No, but I let you shag me afterwards, didn’t I?”
“That’s not the same.”
“I’m sorry. I guess I’m just not comfortable with everybody knowing.”
“They’ll find out anyhow.”
“If you keep biting me in public they sure will.”
“God, Johnny, stop being such an insufferable git.”
“I’m sorry. This is important to you, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
“Alright. Let’s make a deal then. If you promise me to never mutilate your toes like that again, I promise I’ll snog you senseless on the next premiere. Okay?”
“Senseless, you said?”
“Senseless.”
“Will there be groping involved?”
“Don’t push it.”
“Okay. I’m in.”
“Good. Now let’s find you some remover, shall we?”
~ The End ~
I DID imagine those toenails...
:wacko:
I think I'll skip my usual snack at tea-time.
:yes:
But your convos are always so damn witty, woman!! :lol:
Like I said, it's all Laila's fault! :D
Thanks for reading ^^
*beams* Muhahahaa! my fault! :)
I like it when cool things are my fault! And I commented on the lj, so I just wanted to gloat here! :-P