Hi everyone!!!

This is only the 2nd time I've attempted to write anything longer than an essay for school, so I'd appresiate any good or bad comments you may have...

I'm sorta just writing random parts of my story at the moment to experiment and get a feel for the characters, and I'm not sure what's going to be in the finished version (if I ever get that far).

I think this'd be pg 13 rated because it contains references to drugs, alcohol and close contact between the two sexes...

And I'm really sorry about the spelling, but my computer is danish (as am I), and it doesn't have english spelling control.

So here we go:


The first time I told someone was the hardest. After that it got easier and easier. Now I had it down to an art. First I’d make sure the person wouldn’t tell it to anybody, then I’d tell it, you know just straight out. Then they’d think I was joking and ask me to prove it. Then I’d prove it and their eyes would go all round. Some people would ask me to prove it again, and I’d do that. Then most people would say “wow” and start thinking of all the bad things they’ve thourght of me and wonder if I knew. I’d assure them that I did, but it didn’t matter. This is the funny part where people get all embarrest. After this all the questions would come “have you always been able to do it?”, “who else knows?”, “did you pick up what I just thourght?”, “isn’t it imbarresing if you hear something you really shouldn’t have heard?”, “Is it like being that guy in What Women Want?” and so on. I’d be really nice and answer all the questions earnestly and as if I had never been asked them before. The people who had a bit of brain would now feel really honoured and thank me for telling them, and then the conversation would move on interrupted every now and then with a “did you hear what I just thourght?”. Every time I’d answer yes I did hear that. Some times they’d get really imberrest if their thourght was about their girlfriend / boyfriend or it was some sort of family secret they thourght I didn’t know. I’m over it. I know so many secrets it’s not even funny. I don’t feel bad about it anymore, I don’t have a choice. I hear what every single person around me thinks, and if somebody is sad or angry or has some other big feeling I feel it as well. It’s funny cause in What Women Want the guy hears throurghts as if people very speaking, it’s not like that. It’s very rare a person thinks a full thourght like “I’m hungry” or “I wonder what’s for dinner”. Thourghts run very quickly, and usually I only get short glimpses of emotions, pictures and some words here and there. They are like the ultimate insider jokes. The annoying thing is that they just keep coming and coming. If I’m surrounded by many people it is just horrible. This is why I hate malls and crowds in big cities. The only thing that gives me a break is if I’m really far away from other people. The further away I get, the weaker the thourghts get. If I’m home I can still hear the neighbors and people on the street. This is why I like walking in the bush. Other things that give me a relief are alcohol, drugs and if I have very big feelings. This is why I love parties and hooking up. I know it’s not good for me to go out every weekend and hook up with somebody new, but it is just so nice to get a little break. I think this is why I always end up with really stupid guys, these are just the type you meet in a pub.

Here is the part that I'm thinking of making the start. The line written in red is supposed to be in french, but I don't know how to say it, so if you know how to say it, I'd appresiate it. Also the stuff I have written in German and french is not spelled correct, so a little help with that would be very useful.
The blue letters are footnotes... I don't know if anyone has read Jonathan Stroud's triology (if you haven't you really should - it's awsome), but that's where I got the idea from. Is that legal??? If not I'll take it off again.





I was home. I simply love my home. As I walked through the airport of Copenhagen I met several people I knew. I stopped shortly at the accesories shop to have a chat to Kamilla from school. She is really cool. I turned away and looked out the window and there it was, or more precicely she was. It was a toddler flying up side down outside the window. The toddler was crying. A lot of people were standing in front of the window. I couldn’t believe it. Were they just gonna stand there and let the toddler cry? I decided, something had to happen. I made my plans. I had to find a roofacces. I know the airport like my own pocket, so that wasn’t the problem, not getting caught was the problem. Some years ago I spent a lot of time on the roof looking at the planes take off and land, but Mark who works in the leather shop saw me and that had been the end to that.
So today I had to attack the situation from a different angle. Luckely I’m not a normal girl, I have this one special abbility. I went to a dark corner, and when I was sure noone was looking I closed my eyes. I turned everything inwards and found my special quiet place. In here everything was light blue, like the sky near the horison, or like the sea close to the shore, or like the colour of my top 1, or like the colour of white when seen through blue sunglasses – I think you get the picture. I focused all my being on that colour, and I became that colour. I felt my head disappear, then the rest of my body, and in the end my feet. I opened my eyes, I was invisible. Now to the tricky part. I had to get to the other side of the room without bumping into anyone and at the same time hold the colour in my mind. I waited for a hole in the crowd and then with a prayer to a god I don’t believe in I threw my self into it. I walked half a metre behind a woman, who would not die if she lost some weight. In other words as my friend would have said it “if she was an inflatable plastic doll, I’d stop blowing now”. I couldn’t help smiling, I might actually hook up with that guy at the next party. The face of the boy pushed out the colour from her mind. I fought to regain control, but then I looked down and saw my shoes walking along by them selves, I couldn’t help but giggle. My entire body started appearing. Panic threatened to take over myh mind. I supressed all my feelings and focused on the colour. I started humming my tune. It is a danish tune called “se nu stiger solen”. This always helps me regain control 2 . My body disapeared again. I looked around. A man in a buisness suit was looking straight at me. He walked up beside the me and streched his hand out towards me. Relief flooded my mind, he couldn’t see me. I couldn’t help it. I moved a bit to avoid the hand and grapped the wrist and gave it a tug. I had to start singing aloud to keep my focus, but it was worth it. I ran for the wall. Just avoided bumping into a running kid (bloody kids) and leaned against the wall. I love being alive. I followed the man with my eyes for a while. He was groping in the air, while trying to control his trolley. I supressed a fit of giggles ond looked away. Ten metres further down the wall there was an entry to a corridor. It was a pretty bare corridor only leading to the toilets. At the end of the corridor there was a ladder leading to the roof. Up here was a different world. It was a fairly flat roof with lots of antennas, pipes and ventilation stuff. I could see the toddler flying in free air about 12 metres away. I went to the edge of the roof, but the toddler was still flying about 2 metres away. The toddler had now managed to turn around in the air so her feet were the right way down. Under the toddler I could see airport workers in their yellow suits shouting instructions and staring up at the toddler. Now a firetruck with a ladder on was driving towards the toddler, who had stopped crying out of amazement. I realised that if I wanted to be the hero, I had to act quickly. I needed a rope. I looked around, you never know, someone could have left a rope up here. No luck. Then I remembered. I was wearing my favourite trousers, the ones with a string down the side. They look really cool. The string was criscrossing all the way down my leg to make it look like it way holding the trousers together. I started humming her tune again to focus. I fumbled my way down to my leg and found the knots 3 . It seemed to take forever but finally they came undone and I pulled the string out. The firetruck was right underneath now, but the wind blew the todler away along the roof. I ran after her and threw the string out to her. It was difficult because the string was too light. I found a lolly in my pocket and tied it to the end. Then I had to run to catch up with the toddler. As I ran I trew the string and the lolly a bit into the air. As soon as the string left my hand it turned visible. I now threw it out to the toddler again, and it hit the toddler in the head. Woops. The toddler saw the lolly and grapped hold of it. I started pulling the toddler in. It wasn’t as hard at all till a blow of wind took hold of the toddler. It dragged me a couple of metres down the roof, before I regained control. The toddler hung on to the string as if her life depended on it and finally the toddler was close enough to grasp. I extended my “blue feeling” to the toddler who turned invisible.
On the ground I could hear the confused voices of the recuers, which I found amusing. I had the toddler by the wrist and dragged her to a little electricity shed on the roof. Luckely the door wasn’t locked, so I got inside and turned on the light. The room was about 2 squire metres. It had some controls in one end ond some wires leading out from the controls. I let go of the toddler and turned visible. All that mind exercise had given me a headache. I looked at my “prize”. The girl looked like she was around 3 years old. She had short curley brown hair, brown eyes, a little cute round nose and big red cheeks. She was wering a dark red dress with a little pocket on her stomach. At the moment her eyes were red from crying, and she was staring curiusly back at me. I fell in love there and then.
-“It’s okey sweetie, you’re safe now”
The toddler just looked at me, so I tried again.
-“What’s your name?”
-“I want my mom”
-“Sorry I didn’t quite catch that”
The toddler started crying again.
-“ I didn’t mean it like that”
I had no idea what to do, I had never before been responsible for a little kid. As a last possibility I dragged the toddler down from her position over my head, and gave her a hug. The toddler didn’t weigh anything, it was as if gravity had no effect on her. The toddler cried some more, the she sobbed a couple of times and fell silent. I sat there for a while, afraid the toddler would start crying again. Finally I pulled myself together. This time I tried in English (I had been speaking danish up till now)
-“What’s your name sweetie?”
No response.
I thought for a bit, then tried german. I don’t actually speak german but some of my best friends are learning it in school (I’m learning french).
-“das ish meine hamburger”
That was the only thing I could say in german, but as that didn’t get a response either, I tried french.
-“Comment tu t’appelles?”
This got a responce.
-“Je m’appelle Isabel, comment tu t’appelle?”
-“Je m’appelle Kristina“
This was pretty easy, it is just a basic hello (what’s your name, my name is...) but I suddently couldn’t remember anything else from my french lessons Except for...
-“Quand ill fait froid, je regarde la télévision” (when it is cold, I watch the television)
That seemed to be what was needed to start Isabel. She went of in french, and I had no idea what was going on. The only word I picked up was mum, she seemed to be saying that word quite a lot. I came to the conclusion that she wanted her mom.
Isabel fell silent again, and about a thousand thoughts were running around in my head. Obviously Isabel was french. I had been to Paris before, and I knew that even if I went there the chances of finding the mom were very slim, and that was only in Paris, what if this mom lived somewhere else in France? Still I had to try. This could be like an adventure. Who knows, maybe I’d find a missing person poster or something. This could be fun.

1) A really cool top. I bourght it for only 50 crowns in H&M
2) It is just a shame teachers don’t understand that. I can’t count all the times I have been asked to leave the classroom, because I was singing.
3) My trousers were invisible, which made it hard.

I love the concept of this story! ^_^

If you're worried about spelling, get someone here to beta for you. A good beta reader will take your chapters from you, read them (more than once), looking for grammatical errors, spelling errors, bits that just plain don't make sense, etc.

I want my mommy: Je voudrais ma mamman.
(I think ...)

Also, breaking up your chapters into paragraphs makes it easier on your reader(s) to digest the information you're throwing at them.

I like the footnotes concept, I hadn't thought of that before. :lol:

I love you, Danish, your phrasing and the voice of your characters are delicate and you've got a flow to this baby. Marry me, have my babies.

Oh Hannah, you make me laugh :laugh:

Hello "fnugge" :) ...Frick!- I can't remember your name- I should too, because I read you intro thread- ergghhh. Anyway, I'm a jerk, sorry, ha. :blush:

Just thought I'd drop by and read this and I must say that I love the concept (I have a thing for characters with odd/special powers *sniggers*).

Poor little girl, lost somewhere where hardly anyone has a clue what she's saying :unsure: She's lucky Kristina found her (especially since I get the feeling they may have a certain something interesting in common, hehe...). Kris is sweet for beng willing to go so far for the girl (I probably would have just wandered around the airport, trying to find the lost and found, and looking like an idiot with a babbling French child *laughs*)

I'd offer to beta, but my french is pathetic and I know absolutly no German (okay, so I know how to say "no"- whatever, heh). Still, I could perhaps help if you like- if no one better qualified comes along (though, I'm sure they will- people here are great and you shouldn't have a hard time finding a beta at all :))

Anyway, can't wait for the next bit. Tchao!

Thanks for your replies...

If you don't mind beta reading it Jewlz (that's one of your nicknames right??? - I read your answer so I should know... :blush: ) then that'd be great, but I don't know yet if it'll be in the final story, and I often go back to old chapters and make changes depending on how the story goes... Sooo...

Oh by the way my name is Freja (pronounced Fraya)... But don't worry, as you can see I'm terrible with names as well...

And Han... I thourght we were already married... Did you get a divorce without me knowing??? :cry:

I can make an attempt, if you like :)

(I'll get to work on the first parts soon yes? And then, if you like what I've done- *laughs* perhaps you could send me the next bit? Or whatever you like)

But at the moment I must be making my way back to Sacramento (hour and a half trip), so I'll get to work on it then. As for now- ttfn :D

May I aid in the introductions, the manufique Juliana of the wild Californication, Freja, Goddess of Beauty and Deadly Deadly Deadliness. Freja's my spunkrat, she fell into the hole of my home town for a brief year. Darling Jules is my darling Zeffy's creature of the night.

In Australia perhaps I have married you, Danish, but I haven't married you in any of the other countries in the world...how about Paraguay next?

*laughs* Ah, the world makes sense again; thank you Hannah :laugh:

I've started betaing the first bit, but today's kind of a run-around day. Still, I'll email it to you as soon as I've done something worth noting to it haha...

Ttfn!

I love you and your randomness Hannah :laugh:

Yes of course I'll marry you in Paraguay.. You can marry me anytime you like baby ^_^

Your introduction of me was.. Hmmm.. What shall I call it.. Interesting... And by the way I don't think dead girls are alive, I KNOW if girls are alive or not.. And the girl in that book was ALIVE....

Oh wow! Loving it. I lvoe your ideas and I'm dying to hear the next part!
*Dying*

Oooh. I love this whole concept; you seem to be full of shiny ideas. *grins* Your story does have a really nice flow and your characters are *very* interesting. I can't wait to see where this is going!


Matt