I made the following little thing up one day, and I've never really done anything with it... This seems like a good time to post something. Enjoy!
----Main material----
“Dude, where’s my car?”
“Where’s your car, dude?”
“Dude, where’s my car?”
“Where’s your car, dude?”
I just roll my eyes at the screen before looking at Dom’s laughing form.
“Le sigh... He plays in such a great trilogy but can’t recognise a good movie if it hit him in the face... You mean to tell me you actually find this crap amusing?” I ask. Dom nods, still laughing.
“It’s just so friggin’ stupid, it’s funny!” I roll my eyes again and get up from the couch. “Where are you going?”
“My business. Keep your nose out of it. And all other part of your anatomy. Thanks! To find myself a good book and a room where I can’t hear this crap!” I answer, walking into my bedroom and grabbing the book I am currently trying to finish. I really love it, it’s ‘His Bright Light’ by Danielle Steel. Having an ex who suffered from manic depression I know what she must have gone through, even though I think she pictures him as the perfect boy, which he can’t have been. Every kid has flaws, and his are entirely blamed on his mental problem. Too bad I know the ending though, he’s going to die of suicide.
When I’ve been reading for a few hours or so, I am almost at the end. I know he’s going to die soon, but the story has me gripped very tightly. Suddenly I feel two arms around my waist, and I shriek as they lift me off the bed.
“Dom! Keep your filthy hands to yourself!” I call when I hear his laughter. Then I recognise two other familiar laughs. “Life’s a bitch, and she bites.. Hey, I can do that! But first I must attempt to spare his poor, unsuspecting ass... Orli, ‘Lij, help me!” But they just laugh harder, and I struggle to break free from Dom’s grip.
“Ouch! The bitch bit me!” Dom calls, releasing me finally. I grin proudly, showing my apparently very sharp teeth. Dom grabs his hand, and indeed there are my teeth. Orlando and Elijah are almost literally rolling on the floor, grabbing their sides which I’m sure hurt very much right now.
“I’m sorry,” I say, taking Dom’s hand and looking at it. “Wuss! Pussy! Girly guy! Besides, I didn’t even pierce your skin, I don’t see what all of your fussing is about.” Dom pouts, and I press a kiss to the bite marks. I am very proud of them, but poor Dom! I must have bitten him harder than I thought. Then I let go of his hand, hugging the other two men.
“So what have you guys been up to for the last... February, March, April, May... four months?” They shrug simultaneously.
“Not much,” Elijah says. “Just the usual, shooting a movie, getting laid by a gorgeous co-star who then dumps me for someone with more influence...”
“Oh that’s definitely not much, nothing at all really... Oh ‘Lij, again?” I ask. “Get a grip. Either that, or a one-night stand. But please quit screwing your ‘ooh-reporters-lets-talk-to-them-because-media-attention-will-get-me-famous-and-wanted-by-all-the-bloody-world co-stars! I’m sorry, if I can do anything you tell me, okay?” Elijah nods, and then I look at Orlando.
“So, how about you? I swear, if you tell me how many one-night stands you’ve had in the past four months I’ll kick you!”
“Oh not too much, 17 girls and a new movie...” he says, winking at me. That earns him a kick, and he jumps back before I can kick again. “What? Why can’t I tell you...”
“Don’t you brag about your one-night stands, Orlando Bloom. It is nothing to be proud of that you use girls like that,” I say. Orlando shrugs, and Dom leads them into the living room. Three bears and a coke are carried into the living room by yours truly, and we start talking about interesting stuff.
“So Dom, got laid anywhere in these last four months?” Orlando asks out of the blue. Dom shrugs.
“Not really, I’ve been trying to get with this girl I met, but she’s playing hard to get,” he says.
“Well, actually she’s a lesbian and doesn’t know how to tell you she’s not interested... Oh cheer up Dom, I’m sure you’ll find someone who will like you too,” I say. “Honestly, you don’t stand a chance when a girl doesn’t like men. Even a girly guy like you has a dick. Maybe she just isn’t the right one for you.” Dom shrugs.
“Maybe, but I really like her,” he says. “You’ve seen her, and you know she’s absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. And sweet, and intelligent...”
“And a lesbian. Yeah, really, she is. Then just tell her already,” I say “...so she can reject you and tell you she likes girls. GIRLS! You may be surprised with the outcome.” Dom sighs.
“You think I should invite her over to meet you guys?” he asks Orlando and Elijah. “Then maybe you can support me if she says no. I’ll ask her in the kitchen or something... I just really, really want to know if she likes me as much as I like her... I mean we’ve been on five dates already, and we haven’t kissed or anything, just a friendly hug.”
“She’s a lesbian, she’s a lesbian, she’s a lesbian, she’s a lesbian.. I don’t think that would be a good idea,” I say. I don’t want to see Dom embarrassed in front of his friends. Dom looks at me curiously.
“Why not?” I bite my lip.
“Okay, excuses... Think, think, THINK! Well, uhm...” Dom shrugs.
“If you can’t come up with a good reason, I’ll just call her now,” he says, picking up the phone and dialling her number before I can think of something good. “Hi Kara... Yeah, I’m fine. Listen, would you like to come over? ... Well, I have some guests who are curious about you... Uh-huh... All right, see you in a bit... Bye, love!” He hangs up and grins widely.
“She’ll be here in a bit,” he says.
“BUGGER! Then you should tidy the place up a bit,” I say. Dom looks around, and his eyes widen at the mess the living room is.
“Okay Orlando? Cans and beer bottles. Adrienne? Clothes and other laundry. Elijah? You’re with me to cover the kitchen,” Dom commands, dragging Elijah to the kitchen. I grin at Orlando, who groans.
“Serves you right. 17 one-night stands, that can’t be true! Well, you heard our master,” I say, starting to collect clothes and such. Orlando starts collecting beer bottles and cans, and in ten minutes the whole place actually looks pretty clean. Another five minutes later Kara is at the door, and Dom lets her in.
“Oh Kara, if only you knew Dom’s plans... Then you would have stayed at home... Hi Kara,” I say cheerfully, hugging her. “Well can’t blame Dom for falling for her, she’s a great girl... How are you?” Kara smiles, and I see her blush a bit. Score!
“Hi Adri,” she says, and then looks at Dom, giving him a hug as well. “Hey Dom.” Dom gives her his most charming smile, and then introduces her to the two guys on the couch. They also give her charming smiles, and I think she must be very uncomfortable by now. I decide to save her.
“Be very grateful, I’m about to save your ass! Kara, how about we fix the men something to drink in the kitchen?” I ask. I see Dom frown, but just ignore it. There’s the blush again! Go me!
“Uhm... Sure!” she says, following me into the kitchen. I take a deep breath and turn around to face her.
“Okay, time for a third degree. Sweetie, you’re into women, aren’t you?” I ask. Kara blushes heavily this time, and nods. Being direct always works. “Bombshell about to be dropped on you... Dom wants to ask you to be his girlfriend later. You gonna tell him the truth?” She shrugs while I get the beers out of the fridge.
“I don’t know... He’s really nice and all, but I just... Well I don’t know if it’d embarrass him too much... I mean maybe it’s better to...”
“Just be honest. Dom’s a big boy and he’ll get over it,” I say firmly. “Believe me, living with him for three years has taught me a few things. It may be a bit of a shock, seeing as he has absolutely no clue, but don’t worry. I’ll be here to comfort you if you need me...” She nods, and we bring the drinks into the living room. Kara looks around where to sit, and sits down next to Dom when he pats the couch. Silly girl, doesn’t she know better than to encourage a man when you know you’re going to have to tell him about being a lesbian? Apparently not... Luckily she’s queen chit-chat, because she’s keeping the guys occupied. When Dom gets up and asks Kara to help him fix the drinks, she looks at me nervously. I just give her a reassuring look, and she follows Dom into the kitchen. When he comes out he is blushing heavily, and I walk into the kitchen to find a crying Kara.
“Weakling. Oh sweetie, it can’t be that bad?” I ask. She shakes her head.
“But he was just so shocked, he was so sweet in asking me and such... It just makes me cry...” she sobs.
“How cute. Well dry the tears, they aren’t gonna help! He always is sweet. Come on, I’ll show you where the bathroom is so you can get cleaned up a bit,” I say, gently helping her up. She looks at me for a moment, and then presses her lips to mine. Won the match! I kiss her back, and feel her tongue gently prying my lips for entrance. Then I pull back.
“Wow! That felt so great! Damn my being a good person! Sweetie, I can’t do this. Dom’s my best friend, I can’t betray him like this...” I tell her. She nods.
“I know, I just wanted to feel what it was like to kiss you...” she says, and I show her the bathroom. She winks seductively.
“Sure you don’t wanna come with me? They never have to know if we do it quickly and quietly,” she says.
“Quite the slut, eh? Well not me, I like love. The whole thing. Not just sex. But I’d know,” I answer, and close the door behind her. I walk back to the living room, where Dom’s just wrapping his story up.
“... and then she told me she was a lesbian,” he says sadly. The he looks at me. “Did you know?” I sigh, and then nod slowly.
“Sorry, couldn’t tell you. Isn’t my place. Plus I could’ve been wrong,” I say. Dom shrugs, and then turns back to the guys. They try to cheer him up with stories about getting laid, and I just roll my eyes and decide to stay for Dom’s sake.
“But I’m not staying if they ask about my sex life... Ah, Kara,” I say, noticing her coming back from the bathroom. She still looks gorgeous. “Shall I let you out?” I ask. She nods, throwing me a cold look. Ouch, seems like there was a last minute change of the scores. Slut. I let her out, and Dom looks at me.
“Don’t you like her?” he asks. “You can take her out, if you want to.” I shake my head.
“Nope, sorry. Too much of a slut for me,” I answer. “Like you wouldn’t discover if I didn’t tell... We kissed in the kitchen, but I told her off for your sake. Then she offered me a quickie in the bathroom, but that’s just not me, you know?” Dom shrugs.
“I really don’t care anymore... I mean I never stood a chance and didn’t even notice, how stupid am I? And why didn’t she tell me before, it isn’t like I didn’t try to kiss her before. She’d just say she wasn’t ready or some other stupid excuse,” he says.
“Right. Trying to keep your dignity, eh? Well I won’t keep you from telling tales... Well, chance or no chance, I’m going up to finish my book and get some sleep. And if any one of you dares waking me, you’ll end up with bite marks,” I say. Yay! I can threaten Dom now by telling him I’ll bite. Usually I don’t, really, I’m a pacifist, but even a pacifist has to defend herself, right? Then I go up, finish reading about Nick Traina’s sad and untimely death and fall asleep quickly after that.
“WAKE UP!” I sit up when I hear someone scream those words in another room, and look at the alarm clock. The big, red numbers tell me it’s 9 am, so unfortunately I can’t kick their asses because it’s too early. Would have liked some kicking ass in the morning. Well, better not to stay in bed. I quickly pull my shirt off, and start searching for a bra when Elijah walks in. He quickly shields his eyes.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” he says. I look at him, not even attempting to cover up and shrug. Dom sees me naked all the time, and frankly I don’t care. I hate my body, but if people don’t like it they shouldn’t look at it. That’s why I, unlike Dom, don’t have a dressing mirror in my room. Finally I find a nice, comfy black bra and pull it on. I look at Elijah, and he’s still shielding his eyes, mumbling more apologies.
“Like you’ve never seen a naked woman before. Wuss! It’s okay, you can look, you know? Jeez, you act like you’ve never seen a naked woman before!” Elijah shrugs.
“Most women don’t like men walking in when they’re not wearing a bra or knickers,” he says. I shrug.
“I couldn’t care less. As long as my love interest won’t enter the room I don’t care who sees me. Most women need to get a grip. Anyway, what did you come in for?” Elijah shrugs.
“Waking you,” he says. I roll my eyes.
“No, for sightseeing. Duh, dumbass! Why?”
“Because Orli and I thought we’d take you and Dom to go shopping or sightseeing or whatever...” he says. I bet it’s Orli who’s in a shopping mood and Elijah who’s in a sightseeing mood. Well guess what? I’m in a staying-at-home-in-a-comfy-chair-with-my-laptop-mood!
“I don’t know, I don’t like shopping and I hate sight-seeing,” I reply. Easiest way is being honest, right? Well, to a certain point.
“Aaw, but we really want you to come!” Elijah says. He puts on his best puppy-dog eyes, and I roll my eyes.
“No fair! Sightseeing means what exactly?” I ask.
“Finding a pub with gorgeous women and hoping to bring one home,” he says. I shake my head.
“These are times when someone shouldn’t be honest. They really ought to teach people that! Thanks, but no thanks. You can do that without me,” I say. Elijah giggles, and I roll my eyes. “Girl.[/I] What?”
“Well we do need you. We don’t want Dom to run into another lesbian, so we kinda need a gaydar,” he says. I knew it! I knew there would be a catch and now I’m certainly and absolutely not going!
So naturally I’m in the car fifteen minutes later, listening to the stories the three men have about conquering women. Honestly, I don’t see why someone would brag about their sexlife. But then again, I don’t have one so maybe that’s the problem. Using my gaydar will have advantages today, hopefully...
“So, it’s really too early to get into a pub. What do you want to do, Adri?” they ask.
“Hoping an answer like ‘pick up a girl and let you watch how we have hot sex’? No way! I don’t know... Maybe catch some breakfast, seeing as neither of us has eaten yet,” I answer. Elijah shrugs.
“Fine with me,” he says, and they stop at a small restaurant. The waitress gives the three men her most charming smile, obviously totally impressed by their fame. Yawn. Pick a number and get in line.
“What can I get you lads?” she asks in a sweet voice. Yuck! Don’t poison us with your evil sweetness!
“We’d like a coffee each to start with,” Orlando answers. She grins, and rushes behind the counter to fix three coffees. THREE! Evil woman. Told you she was evil, didn’t I? When she comes back with her charming smile she puts the three coffees down in front of the men. I clear my throat.
“Why am I doing this? I don’t want coffee! Where’s mine?” I ask. “This is a matter of principals and such. I must demand respect from the evilly sweet waitress! They asked for a coffee each, and I count four of us.” The waitress rolls her eyes, and then walks back to slowly fix me a coffee. Bitch. If you spit in it I’ll throw it in your face. Luckily she does no such thing, and when she comes back we all order something to eat.
“Seen me now? My turn to order! I’d like scrambled eggs and some toast,” I tell her. “Preferably with a fork, a knife and a gun to shoot you, thank you! And an orange juice.” I love adding things when people are about to ask a famous friend what to eat. She looks even more annoyed, her charming smile now not so charming anymore. I mentally stick my tongue out at the women, and try to resist the urge to point and laugh. I succeed for now, because she walks off. Aw well, maybe I’ll be able to have a laugh later.
“You could have been a bit nicer to that waitress,” Dom says. I hate it when he accuses me of not being nice. I was being nice! Well, not really, but if he knew what had been roaming through my head he’d agree!
“I’m sorry... if I wasn’t being Ms. Lets-let-this-stupid-waitress-forget-all-about-me... I’ll leave her a bigger tip, okay? Two cents instead of nothing! I’ll even leave her my breathmint. Maybe that’ll help.” Dom sighs, and then shrugs. I’m just too charming for my own good if I got away with this so easy! Then the waitress-from-hell comes back, and gives us our plates. Yes, us! Didn’t I do well?
“It’s on the house, if you could all sign me an autograph,” she says.
“Let’s pretend like I’m a dumb person and don’t know she doesn’t mean me. Oh, if you wanted my autograph you could have just said so! Do you have a pen? What’s your name?” I ask. The men crack up, and the waitress blushes. I’m really winning this one!
“Well, I meant the men, actually,” she says.
“I’ll pretend like I’m still a dumb person who doesn’t know she doesn’t mean me. Oh, don’t worry, it’s no trouble at all, sweetheart! Let’s see, your nametag says ‘Tiffany’ so I’ll sign it ‘For Tiffany, from Adri’, okay?” I say, as I scribble it down and then put my autograph under the thing. The men are now howling with laughter, and I give her the napkin. She looks dumbstruck, and then just walks away, clenching the napkin in her fist. Score!
“You crack me up,” Elijah says. “She really didn’t know what to do. Well we should give her our autographs as well, right guys?” he asks the others. They nod, and all scribble down their own little message to Tiffany. In Orlando’s case, his phone number.
“Ass. Wanker. I’ll kill you someday! You really think that’s wise?” I ask. Orlando shrugs.
“Why not?” he asks, putting it with the others. “The more women that have my number, the more that’ll call me for a date. A sexdate.” He wiggles his eyebrows, and I sigh.
“See why I called him that? Is that all you can think of?” I ask. Orlando shrugs.
“I guess,’ he answers. “I just like it that women throw themselves at me, and I enjoy the sex.” Yeah, you would. He thinks he’s a God, let’s see him when he gets sick of them. Tiffany can’t smile anymore when she comes back, even when the men give her their autographs. She just blushes when she sees Orlando’s phone number and promises him to call, but she can’t laugh anymore. Go me! Well I actually feel a tiny bit bad about this, but well she earned it! Ignoring me like that! Besides, it was just a joke. Now let’s go find us some nice, lesbian girls to play with! I’m not going for a one-night stand, if you were thinking that. Just for a nice kiss, maybe some messing around but clothes on. I’m not that kind of girl, I mean it. I don’t do one-night stands, I don’t wanna end up like Orli. I need sex to be special. But once in a while I just need a kiss, and well it’s been... Two years since my last real kiss, so I can have one now! Or at least I think so... Aw to hell with it, let’s just find me a kiss! The guys can have each other! Or no, eew, gross... They can find themselves some chick who’ll sleep with them for one night. A long-legged, big boobed blonde. Just like the last 500 they’ve had. They should get a taste... Aw but why am I still talking? Let’s go and get some face-sucking done!
----Extra material----
“Filthy dyke! We’re gonna show you what you’re missing!”
“No! Get away from me!” I see the evil face of Derek close to mine. Too close, and I know he’s gonna kiss me and I know what’s gonna happen next.
“No way I’m going anywhere,” he says, spitting in my face. “You’re going to be my girl tonight!”
“Adri! Wake up!” I open my eyes and sit up quickly, looking around bewildered.
“Where is he?” I ask, but then I see Dom’s grey eyes, looking into mine concerned.
“Sweetie, he isn’t here... He’s never going to hurt you again,” he says, pulling me into his arms. I snuggle into them, tears slowly escaping my eyes.
“I’m so scared... I haven’t had that nightmare in months, why is it back?” I ask. Suddenly I am aware of my massive headache, a remainder of a very, very long evening.
----End of material----