Okay guys so heres something from me finally.
The title "Deimhin Deireadh" is actually gaelic for "certain end"...Now please feel free to rip it to shreds cause I don't hold all that much faith in it anyway lol, but Pat has convinced me that it holds some merit and that I should post it, so I'm doing so.

But firstlty a disclaimer: I own all these characters and hope that no-one decides to rip them away from me cause they're special. Get it?? Characters=love=over proctectiveness? good. Also I DO own Nathan, no matter what anyone says he is mine, and Pat DOES own Padraic okay?? good now that we have that settled...

Secondly I need to point out this has a warning of NC17 cause it involves drugs, swearing, probably vilonce and god knows what else seeing as I've only just started it.

Thirdly I owe a HUGE thankyou to my bella Tish, without her I wouldn't have had the courage (or wicked banners) to post this story, so heres to you Bella!!

So...here goes I guess...

Prologue

The smell in the room was dizzying, a mixture of stale smoke and sweat. It intoxicated her, causing her eyes to sting and water.
Why was she here anyway? Ok so she was desperate for money, but a strip club? Was she really that desperate?
Sighing she pushed her dark hair from her eyes and scanned the room, hoping to locate the guy who’d offered her the job the previous night.
As her chocolate coloured, kohl rimmed, slightly reddened eyes traced over the faces around her a hand was placed on her shoulder, gripping firmly. Firmly enough to make her realise that whoever it was had little to no intention of letting go. Instinct was screaming at her to run but she ignored it and slowly turned to face the silent figure, willing herself no the shake with fear.
Her eyes widened with shock and surprise when she recognised the face. Padraic, her older brother.
“W…whot’re you doin’ ‘ere?” she managed to stutter, her Irish accent thickened by the lack of confidence which she currently bestowed in her voice. She wasn’t doing anything wrong so why did she feel like a schoolgirl being scolded by the principal?
Padraic looked at her, slowly taking in her appearance through pity-filled eyes. She was thinner than he recalled. Her once snug jeans clung loosely to her hips and her now oversized jacket seemingly swallowed her. She looked tired and scared. He desperately wanted to reach out and hug her, to hold together the slowly braking pieces of the china doll girl. But no, she’d never accept that, she’d think he was saying she was helpless. Instead he offered the first logical thing he thought, “I saw you come in ‘ere an I got to wonderin’ whot in the ‘ell you’re doin’!” He always sounded more like Da when he got mad or worried.
She didn’t reply for a moment. She hated the way his eyes could say so much, the way he’d look at her as though searching the very depths of her soul, as though he knew all her darkest, dirtiest secrets without being told them. Suddenly she snapped out of her daze, ‘Whot I’m doin’ is none of your business! I already told you ta stay away from me so why doon ya? She glared at him threateningly.
“I’m worried about you. Heck we all are.” His face fell, unsure if he was doing the right thing.
“Well doon be. I’m fine, I’m jest looking fa a job.” She paused, hit by a realisation, “doon you dare tell Gracey or Nate tha you saw me! I swear if you tell I’ll ne’er speak to you again”
He opened his mouth to protest but she pushed past him before he could speak. He called out to her, knowing she would hear, “They’ll find out! Then what will you do? Keep on running?” he stopped, watching her retreating back. How could he just let her go as though he didn’t care? As though she was an old garment of clothing no longer of value? He quietly scolded himself as she vanished from sight.

She breathed deeply once outside, the cold crisp air burning her lungs and turning her nose and cheeks rosy. A million questions were buzzing in her mind like worker bees on the first day of spring. How’d he manage to find her? What was he doing at this end of town? Had he been looking for her? What if he told the girls? Oh lord, what if he told Nathan? She closed her eyes and willed herself to calm down, telling herself it would be okay.
He’d only seen her in the club; that meant he didn’t know where she was living or what she was doing. She took another deep breath and hoisted her bag higher upon her shoulder. She needed to see Dee. No way would she make it through the rest of the day like this. She plunged her hand into the inner pocket of her jacket and withdrew a role of bills. Carefully she removed the band holding them together and counted. 15 hundred-dollar bills. All the money she had, and more than enough to get what she wanted. Dee would have what she needed, what’s more if he was in a good mood there would be bonuses.
As she headed in the direction of Dees she thought of what Padraic had yelled as she was leaving, “Run?” she muttered, “I didn’t run. You sent me away, said that it was best for everyone that way. I just chose to stay away.” She couldn’t help but think that perhaps he was right, that maybe she had run away. That he had run as hard and fast as she could.

Well there is is...I guess it's too late to take it back now huh?? then again theres always the edit button...

Obviously, I'm first to reply because I shall smite whoever does it before me...MUAHAHA! I LOVE THIS BELLA! SO SO MUCH! AND I KNOW I TOLD YOU WHEN I FIRST READ IT BUT YES...ok, rant is over. I'm so glad that you're finally posting something because I miss reading your genius!

This moved me, seriously. I love the beginning, I love where it is going and I'm sure i'll love the next part you send me to beta! ehehe!

*rushes off the make banners*

:heartbeat: Pat

Awww thank tyou so much hun!! I know you told me you love it already, but I promise I won't get sick of hearing that. And thanks again so very much for making the banners for me!! You're an absoulete ledgend!!!

Chloe xxx

Let's get one thing out... WOW! That was great. It's eating at my curiosity so i may have to complain about that. I loved everything else, and you chapture the accent so well... unspeakably good. I'm so glad Pat talked you into this. Just one question, who is the guy in your banner? :lol: i'm a very curious person sometimes.

Can't wait for more.
Ciao
~Claire

Hey Claire, I'm glad you're here so Chloe can understand that this story really is great!

The banners are Orlando Bloom (Padraic) & Natalie Portman (Gracey)

and Hayden Christensen (Nathan) and Keira Knightley (Katie)

:heartbeat: Pat

Ohh my goodness graciou mary agnes the girl can write the girl can write the girl can write. I wish you were here so you could do ext 2 english, the entire subject is writing a story or doing a film or whatever you want really, no other work required, and we go out for coffee and talk about our work but that's generally all we do, and you would ace it. And in my ext 2 mindset I shall now do a detailed analysis of your work.
And now children we come to the

LONG WINDED AND RANDOM CRITIQUE

SNAP!!! Exactly!!! So many people tend to use weak cliched descriptions to orientate the responder but this is exactly how you ensnare them. It's precise and it packs a punch and it plays upon the strongest of all sense imagery, smell and taste. You can feel this room as you read it. It is lyrical and poetic.

And now again, we know the character in three sentenses. Short sentenses to add a sense of anxiety, uncertainty, and tension. You've brought in the conflict, the action, you don't let the reader drift off. Repetition of desperate adding strength and rhythm

Okay, now we get the visual, going into specifics. The lights are on the stage and what is more it means sopmething because you have put them there before they have caught an actual glimpse of it. Maybe a metaphor could work somewhere here, if you put two things together that you don't usually think of, that's an editting technique to make it more vivid so said the guy in the incredibly painful workshop I had to go to a while back. But that could contrast to the realism you've set up, it's like Winton, he doesn't go into the lacy shite because it didn't suit teh character setting or style. You do have strong textual integrety even in these first couple of lines.

Yes, focusing in, getting into the close ups. Very vivid. v v good, I like the traced over the faces especially. Going into tactile, and movement. Alliteration with the 's's in the last sentense makes it an oozing, knot in the gut feeling rather than shock value gasp. Very effective, building up teh tension, keeping us firmly hooked.

The first sentense continues that kind of mood, but maybe it's a little bit weaker, though everything else is so strong, maybe adding tactile, taste or scent imagery would back it up a little more, or going into the specifics of the action, what she's doing with the rest of her body, keeping the image really clear because you've established it so vividly.
You can really hear this first line of dialogue. You have the core of the character, and now you're going into the outward distinctiveness, you don't revert to using accent and vernacular as an excuse to weaken or stereotype the reality of the character, pulp fiction writers tend to think if someone has an accent that's a charcter but you're using it as an extension of the character. It's slightly Dickensian, and makes me wonder if you too have been putting on accents and making teh expressions of teh characters in teh mirror as he did. Ohh wait, you're Irish anyways, no need. :P
Good conveyance of emotion, the scolded schoolgirl. Exactly.

Okay, I just saw you then. Lemme guess, she doesn't sleep or eat or take sick days when she should. As the best writers do, you write from yourself. And God, you're beautiful, Sunny. Stong image of you in one of the guy's jackets with your baggy jeans on. You with Boole, or maybe Clarky or someone. The breaking china doll. Love it. Perfect.
Sure.. he saw her come in.. **coughs-Padraic-came-for-the-nakieness-cough**
Good that you bring up what people become when in teh extremes of emotion, it is teh true revealer of character, and guys do tend to become like their fathers in those times, just as peoples accents get thicker, as you can no doubt attest to in my case. Very observant and far the better for it.

Now this is a good example of the establishing of relationships and power within them. There's Padraic, worried sick and yet scared if he does something about it he'll push her away, but none the less watching and aware of his little sister. But whatever he may or may not do, he's become the little voice inside her head and even if he isn't litterally seeing through her, his voice that has become a part of her does see her every thought. Right? It's very real relationship, and you don't go into mushy emotive words that are out of charcater to say it. Mm, the responder knows her, scared venerable, yet fighting like a cornered FEROCIOUS TIGER OF DEATH!

Jaysus, it's an Irish "Dear Frankie". It really is. Without the young un, but none the less, the beauty and honesty of it, and the way the accents lend themselves to it. Oww. Oww. I am burning with this. You really have got me connected to these characters. Strong strong strong strong identification. Again, hinting at the venerability of Katie, "I swear I'll ne'er speak to you again", her childlike hurt side. Again, Padriac's aching to help and fear of driving her away. Brillient.

Ahh again, we can feel it. That air is in my lungs right now, i can feel it. It's Cooma air damn it. Good simile of the worker bees, consistent with your setting and characters. Very Irish town like. Breaking into her stream of consciousness v. effective.

Oohhh, suspense. Further intrigue, I like. Vivid and keeps me on edge. Something tells me she aint using that money for a pixie stix rampage, unless there's not just sugar in those pixie stix. Good strong paragraph, keeps zee responder addicted as is your want, and keeps them guessing. Quite arcane and illusive.

Aha!!! So he is the little voice in her head. You have strong emotions here but they are beautifully understated, repressed which makes them more powerful, really.

You are truly gifted, Miss Sunny. This is a beautiful addictive bittersweet prologue that lingers on your tongue and in the very air about you. It is psyicaly haunting. Love it love it love it love it.

He did not! he loves his wife Gracey! lol

:heartbeat: Pat

**cough-beacuse-she's-working-there**

**cough-*burstsing to "Don't Tell Mama' from Cabaret
Spudkin
Thinks Grace's living in a convent
A secluded little convent
In the Southern part of France
Spudkin
Doesn't even have an inkling
That Grace is working in a nightclub
In a pair of lacy pants- cough**

She totally works there...aww I can't wait for the first chapter because Paddy and Gracey are so cute! Post more CHLOE!!!!!

Thanks for the sonnet ish thing, Han.

:heartbeat: Pat

Hey Claire, Thankyou so much for the reply, you have no idea how much it means to me!! I'm so glad that you like t so far! As for capturing the accent, well as Han said I talk like that half the time anyway so it wan't too hard, but I'm glad you thought I conveyed it well cause it's a hell of a thing to try and write! The guy in my banner is Nate (Hayden Christensen). And I like curious people so I'm glad you asked :) again, thankyou a million times over for reading this!!!

Hanny pants!!! Oooh I'm so very very excited that you think this is good, thats got to be the biggest compliment I can get, I mean comming from you it means the world cause you inspire me more than you know!!!! I would write more in reply but if I do I'll be here for ferever and a day, and not that that would be a bad thing but I have to work tomorrow! But I do need to mention that what Pat said is true, padraic loves Gracey so here was not there for the naked bootie okay?

And Pat, once again thankyou a million bella, for all that you do and continue to do I cannot thank you enough!!

Now as for updating this...well I'll do my best to post the fist chappit soon, but I still have a few kinks to iron out, but with any luck I'll get up early enough to do it tomorrow and get this up by tomorrow night, if not I'm eternally sorry but I've been at work all weekend and I have school commitments as well. And a further delay may come next week in that I have school and an working 5 shifts, but fear not for I have holidays for 2 weeks as of friday so I promise to hopefully get up a few chapters within that time!!
So if I don't forgive me and if I do...well again forgive me lol.

Once again thankyou all for you wicked mad replies!!!
Chloe xxx

P.s Tish, just for the record, before I go to bed I'm going to drool over dark haired, brooding Haydey. Yes thats right I'm going to watch life as a house ehehehe

thanks for the clarifications on the banners, i just didn't know who the guy was in Kloey's banner, and I saw it and was like 'oh-brooding-dark-figure-in-banner' so i thought i should ask. Can't wait for more of this and i'm glad my curiosity is appreciated here. Sometimes my friends get annoyed with the questions, it understandable :lol:

Ciao
~Claire

And what a sext brroding-dark-figure he is ehehehe.

I can't believe you watched it without me *pouts* Oh well, I watched Elizabethtown...BUAHAHAHAHA. DID I MISS 60B????

:heartbeat: Pat

I love that movie!!! And when he'd just got the car in the middle of no where and he starts hitting the horn and yelling "DID I MISS 60B? DID I MISS 60B??" lmao. Yeah I watched it without you sorry bella, it was just so good and Hayden was just so hot it had to be done lol.

Alright, well I've decided not to keep y'all hanging. I don't know why, guess that I'm cruel and like to torture you by making you have to read a new chappie. lol. Yes thats right, I actualy got out of bed early enough to edit the first chapter, and I owe my bets cause she was also out of bed and online early enough to read it for me before I posted it. How lucky am I??
Okay so here it is...

ONE

She pushed the buzzer desperately for almost 3 full minutes and felt the sharp sting of tears behind her eyes. The first of the tears slowly rolled down her cheek, pausing at her chin for a moment before dropping heavily onto her jacket. She couldn’t take it anymore. Life wasn’t meant to be like this.
Finally the speaker crackled to life, emitting a tinny voice, “Yeah who is it?”
She sighed and did her best to veil the anger and sadness she thought must be evident in her voice, “Hiya Dee, it’s me. Wanna let me up?”
“Oh, hey baby doll. Sure come on in” there was a click and she pushed the door open, making her way up the stairs to be greeted at the top by Dee.
Dee was in his mid 20s, she guessed him to be 24 or so. He had straggly black hair and bright green eyes. He was too skinny and looked constantly tired, but despite that he always seemed to have an endless supply of energy.
“Hey Doll” Dee drawled, his southern accent making her feel less like a loner, knowing she wasn’t the only outsider in the city.
“Hi Dee” she smiled slightly not looking up at him before moving past him into the apartment.
“So what brings you here so early in the day? I don’t usually see you till sometime around 10pm.” He closed the door and took a seat on the leather sofa, pushing a pile of books and clothes to the floor so that she could take a seat beside him.
“I uhh…I’m ‘avin’ a bleedin’ rough day and I tought maybe you could ‘elp me oot” she began softly, twisting one of the many rings she wore in an attempt to keep herself from crying yet again, a habit she’d grown accustomed to since her early teens.
“Well define ‘bleeding rough’ and we’ll see what I can do to help you out” he placed his hand over hers, stopping her from twisting her rings, “And don’t do that. It makes me nervous.”
“Sorry” she frowned and took a slow breath in, “I’ve told you about the uhh…situation between my brother and I ruight?”
Slowly Dee nodded, he knew this story all to well. When she’d first left her brother’s house she’d shown up on his doorstep at about 3am, cold, crying and with no where else to go. She’d stayed with him for 3 days before she’d organised her own place. But she still dropped by a few times a week to keep him up-to-date on how she was.
“Well I bumped into ‘im dis mornin’ while I was gooin’ for a job…” her voice softened and her vulnerability became clear.
For all the times she seemed like a strong willed, confident young woman, he saw that always, hiding just below the surface was the young, troubled girl that she tried so hard to hide.
“And I’m sorry fa comin’ ‘ere” her voice bit into his thoughts, causing his head to snap up and his eyes to focus. Tears. There were tears now. Obviously the kid was upset about more than just the presence of her brother.
“Quinn what is it?” Dee frowned; she was his angel, his true gift. She’d taken care of him so many times when he was unable and now she was the one in need of healing. He knew she’d been broken too many times and it was beginning to take its toll.
“I just…it was ne’er meant to be like thus. And I miss ‘em.” She made no effort to stop the tears now, “I miss the way Paddy would always make sure I was safe, and how Gracey always tought of me whene’er she was makin’ breekfast or doin’ a load of washin’. But…but most of all I miss Nate…”
Ah yes the ever-elusive Nate. Every time Dee tried to pry more detail out of Quinn, as she was know to him, she always got defensive and either yelled that it was none of his business, or just wouldn’t talk at all. But obviously he was someone who held a piece of her heart.
“Doll you know that this will work itself out. In the mean time you just gotta keep your head up high and give the world a big ol’ ‘go-fuck-yourself’ grin.” Dee recycled a piece of advice that she had once given him.
She nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. “I know…I know. It’s just hard to remember that y’know.” She paused for a moment, “Say Dee…I know I was here the other day but-“ She was cut off.
“Quinn I thought you said you only did this for fun, the occasional upper. You know where it can lead.” Dee sighed, “I don’t want you ending up like me. You’re a good kid with a lot of potential. You know the rules if you start dabbling too much.”
Quinn nodded her head in response, “I know, but I just don’t know what else to do so please, just this once indulge me eh?” she looked up from her hands, her dark eyes pleading with him.
He sighed and half smiled sympathetically, “Alright girl, just this once. But don’t go using it all at once.” Slowly he rose and went to collect her goods. He returned a few moments later with 2 small packages, wrapped in brown paper and tied with string.
“Now do you want tabs or grain?” he questioned, knowing her preference for grain.
“Grain. It might make my nose hurt but tabs just make me sick” she confirmed.
“Grain it is.” Dee nodded, holding out one of the packages, “and cause you’re my favourite girl there’s some extras for you, but don’t take them with the grain or it’ll do crazy shit you, ya hear?”
“Not wit the grain, got it” she nodded, placing some cash on the table and heading for the door, “T’anks Dee” she said, putting the package into her bag and opening the door.
“Welcome as always baby doll. You take care” he lifted his hand in a brief, lazy wave.
“Always do” came her standard reply before the door clicked closed.


Well there it is...hope y'all enjoy, and again my eternal thanks to the best beta in the world, Tish! Love you hun!!

:D :D :D :D I love being your beta! I get the best story to read before everyone else. MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!

*sniffles* Poor Katie, don't do this to yourself!!!

*waits for you to finish next chapter *coughorlandobloomissexycough*

:heartbeat: Pat

*rushes off to write R.A before you kill me*

lmao I know, kinda makes you want to beat her over the head with a stick right??

lol yeah I knew you'd be wanting the next chappie. I promise to do my darndest so it can get posted soon.

Chloe xxx

lol I won't kill you, just severly hurt ya...nah who'm I kidding, I need you too much to maim or kill ya

*runs in, puffing* I'm heeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee!!! Dude, I wish I'd seen this earlier!! Tis AMAZING!!!!!!!
I know she shouldn't be doing them.... but I love the drugs! Reminds me of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and you know how in love I am with that movie ^_^
You've managed to capture a lot in your descriptions, and they give the story an amazing flow. Not to mention your characters, which I can already tell will be the kind you can't help but fall in love with.
.... And all that in a Prologue and the first chapter!! eheheh I can't wait for what else is to come! ^_^

KITTY!!!!!! I'm so glad to see you're here!!! And even glader that your enjoying this so far!! Yeah it is a little like fear and loathing huh? And I do indeed know how much you love that movie!!
Thankyou so so so much for your comments!!! I'm so honoured that you think its well written! But not just you, everyone whos replied so far has been so kind!!

In regards to updating this...well I'm having a few problems with writing it at the moment...I have severe writers block and at the same time so much to say, but its just not coming out the way I'd like it to, so if I end up makig a huge delay with posting my apologies but I'm a little stuck right now so please be paitent.

Chloe xxx

Well no...I figured it was about time I add another chappie to this lovley little ditty. So heres a new one. And just for the record I have been continuing to write this story, and well...again a huge thankyou to the best beta in the world, Spuddy. I so owe you man!!!

TWO

Gracey Duggan entered the kitchen to find her fiancée staring blankly into the half filled sink, plate and tea-towel in hand, stopped mid way through drying the dishes, “Hey Babe” she whispered, a smile playing on her lips as she wrapped her arms about his waist. When he made no effort to respond she cautiously removed her arms, took the tea towel and dish from him, placed them gently on the counter and touched his face, attempting to make him focus. “What’s wrong Paddy?” she spoke so softly and with such concern it brought tears to his eyes.
“I uhh…” he faltered and cleared his throat, “I saw Katie this mornin’” he lulled, his American accent veiled once again by his natural Irishness.
Gracey’s eyes went wide and she gasped. They hadn’t seen or heard from Kate in over 2 months, they didn’t know where she was or what had happened to her. “When? Where? Does Nathan know? Is she all right? Did she look okay?” The questions tumbled from her mouth like sand through an hourglass.
Padraic grasped Gracey’s hands in his own and lead her over to the kitchen table, holding out a seat for her before taking one himself. He drew in a deep breath and slowly exhaled, allowing his head to fall into his upturned hands. “Earlier this mornin’, out in Alphabet City. I can’t bring myself to tell Nate, he’s tearing himself up enough already trying to find her, if he knew where she was god knows what he’d do. As for how she looked…I think…” Padraic closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, “I think she’s still using Gracey…”
Hearing those words was like having a needle slowly stuck under your skin, this immense stinging bit made Gracey slowly close her eyes. Katie may have been Padraic’s real sister but she meant just as much to Gracey, and the idea of her abusing her body made Gracey want to cry, “Oh lord. Why do you think that Padraic?” She spoke carefully, not wanting to sound accusing or condescending, just concerned.
“Because…you should have seen her. She’s so thin, she looks like she doesn’t eat. And her eyes…oh god her eyes…” Padraic clenched his fists and teeth, willing his tears to stay at bay. “She’s so hollow. She’s not our Katie. She’s this shell of a girl with no spirit, no love. And her eyes are just…when you look into them there is nothing. No happiness, no pain, no anger…nothing just…nothing. And I don’t know how to get her to come home.”
“Shhh” Gracey folded her arms about Padraic, “It’s going to be alright. We’re going to get her back alright?” Her voice washed over him, soothing him and forcing his fears back into the dark corners of his mind. That was why he loved her. No matter what life threw at him she was always by his side, never to self-involved to reassure or comfort him.
Thankyou” he smiled, softly pressing his lips against her forehead.
‘For what?” She frowned, puzzled by his gratitude
“For being you. For being beautiful. For caring not only about me but also about Katie. I don’t know where I’d be without you sometimes.”
“Probably on the floor of a pub in Ireland to drunk to recall your own name” She replied, trying desperately not to smile or laugh, her eyes twinkling at the image in her mind of Padraic drunk on the floor.
Showing mock hurt, Padraic pouted and blew a raspberry against her neck.
“Oh lord, I don’t know why I’m going to marry you!” laughed Gracey, wiping her neck.
“Tis all ‘cause of my good looks an killer accent” he smiled, the first honest smile to have crossed his face in week. Even just seeing Katie and being able to come home to Gracey could make such a difference to his attitude.
“Well then why don’t I just go marry Katie? I think she’s just as pretty and she shares your accent, though with less of the American twang you seem to have” she smiled at him.
“Well I’ve you ta blame fah tha’ doon I?” He emphasised his accent, making her laugh. “And besides I doon think tha’ Nate’d appreciate you chasin’ after Katie now, d’you?”
At this Gracey let out a groan, “Oh no. I forgot about Nate!! He’s supposed to be coming here for dinner! What do we tell him about Katie?”
Just as the words had left her mouth there was a soft tap at the door. Glancing over to the clock on the mantle piece Gracey and Padraic realised something. The knock could only mean one thing. Nate was here, and so was Paddy and Graceys little boy, Blair.

Aww, there's a little boy? *coo*

That adds in a little problem with them possibly yelling with a child. Hmm.

This story is absolutely AMAZING, Chloe!!! Its such tearjerker, but its just amazing. No other words. Now I'm really antsy for if they tell Nate or not... eeeehhh.

Ooohhhh the angst! :wacko:

Post more soon! Please!

:heartbeat:
Samma

Yuh huh theres a little boy!!

And it does indeedy.

Thankyou so much Samma! I'm glad you're liking it. Yeah telling Nate could become an interesting experience.

I'll post another chappie within the next few days probably, so hang in there girl!!

Chloe xxx

:D :D :D :D :D

Me has a little boy with Orlando. Me is so scared as to Gracey's crazy mother and her 'I can't believe you had a baby out of wedlock' chapter *DIES* UNGH

MORE SOON!!!!

:heartbeat: Pat

So much I love so little time.

I loved your character establishment of Dee, good use of street slang, btw. Good use ot detail to create further believability, you're specific an dyou stay true to your style and characters. I love teh contrast between the relationships, and the different kind of language and body language you use to convey that, let's just face it you're just entirely bloody brilliant, I would say were I a Pom like you are in part. (A Pom, a Paddy and a Yank, depending on what I want to pay you out about. Just be thankful you're not a Kiwi just yet lmao)

ehehe yes indeedy, that is going to be a...well shall we say interesting chapter??

I'll post more as soon as I can!!!

Thankyou once again for your wonderful reply!! You have no idea how much it means to me that you're enjoying this!!!
And there is nothing wrong with my internationalism hehe. And I like the way I talk anyway!! So bugger off!!

Chloe xxx

Sunshine, honey, just because you say "Bugger" does not make your an Australian. I hate to be the one to break it to you. **hides behind Rox and Jet and laughs evilly**

ouch....that was harsh...well...i don't know quite what to say...aside from JET AND ROX ARE MINE!!! *pulls them over to her*

**grins** I know, bt hiding behind something shiney is really andy. distraction drummers.. is there anything they can't do? **frolicks with Mathias** Ali and Shatrov told me to tell you hi and hug you and have your babies for them.

hey back to them and NO BABIES DAMMIT!!!

Ok so I'm trying to decide if I should continue with this story or not, cause like I want to but chances are I'm gonna end up with a bunch of hell pissed off readers cause at this rate its going to be forever between chapters. Anyway let me know your opinions so I can make an informed decision. lol I should like one of my teachers.

Chloe xxx

Keep posting as long as you can, Chlo. I don't know how many fics I've started and dropped, and some even planned and not even posted, and I regret it. So, if you know/think you'll finish it (ignore how far away it looks), then keep going. I'm willing to wait. For this storyline? Anyone would wait. :bow: You handle the dark themes almost perfectly.

:heartbeat:
Samma

Aww thankyou so much samma!!! I do love this story its just so hard to write because I love the characters so much. And I have to say, I didn't think I could put myself almost in tears with my writing but I nearly have (not to give to much away)
Thanks for the advice about it though, you have no idea how much of a difference that makes!!

Chloe xxx

Doooo iiitt.. I like this story, I wants it. Besides, we're all erratic posters.
I MISS YOU SUNNY!!!
They're trying to murder me with half yearlies and assignments!!!!

I MISS YOU TOO!!
And im terribly sorry they're trying to kill you, perhaps you'd like mr to kill them in return eh?

Ok so now that I'm a few chapters ahead of the one being posted (usually I'm only ahead by one or two) I figured I could post another. Now I know there aren't many people reading this, but for those of you who are, thanks for taking the time!!
This chapter isn't really that great, it was just a bit of a filler and it gives you some insight to the characters...I think...
Anyway I hope you like it and please reply so I know whats good, whats bad and what should be changed!!

THREE
Nate shifted uneasily from one foot to the other, waiting for someone to come open the door. He took his hand from Blair’s grip and rubbed his eyes. Blair looked up at him, sadness evident in the boy’s eyes. It was heartbreaking that even at such a young age, he was all too aware of the problems his family was facing.
“Why doesn’t Aunt Katie get me from school anymore?” He frowned, sadness slowly creeping across his face.
“Well…” Nate leaned against the doorframe, trying to formulate an answer suitable for a 5 year old. Just as he’d fabricated a good explanation the door was opened, stealing his need to explain.
Gracey smiled a warm greeting at her as Blair ran inside to hug his father and bombard him with the day’s events.
“How’re you doin’ Nate?” she placed her hand softly on his arm, willing him to be honest with her.
He shrugged in response, causing her to sigh. Trying to talk to Nate was like mothering a teenage boy. It was all grunts and shrugs, nothing that was even slightly comprehensible. He still hadn’t opened up to her about Katie’s absence. Padraic said he talked to him, but Gracey still struggled to see why he’d not talk to her.
“Well come in. dinner will be ready at about 5 or so.” Gracey moved aside, allowing for Nate to go past into the house. “Can I get you a coffee or something Nate?” she wasn’t sure if she should ask him about Katie or not, so she settled for small talk. It may have been awkward but it was less risky.
“Any chance of something a bit stronger?” He didn’t even so much as look up at her. She hated seeing him like this. The way he avoided talking at all costs, the way he’d withdrawn from the world since Katie had been gone. She heard people claim they were broken hearted, but she hadn’t believed it was possible until now. He looked overly tired, he clearly wasn’t sleeping enough. He never really smiled, the only time he seemed even close to happy was when he was playing with Blair, but even then his eyes failed to sparkle or light up, they seemed permanently faded and all joy had leeched out of him with Katie’s absence, yet at the same time he’d not yet shd any tears. And now Paddy knew where she was, how were they meant to tell him? If her not being here was tearing him up what would knowing where she was but not being able to bring her home do to him? These were the thoughts washing over Gracey as she removed a beer from the fridge.

As Nate was silently swigging the beer Padraic and Blair came into the kitchen. He smiled briefly at Gracey before registering Nate’s presence. It hurt to just look at him, Nate at 21 was 4 years Padraic and Gracey’s junior, 2 years older than Katie, but recently he’d begun to look more and more like a sullen, brooding 17 year old, only with the eyes and experience of an 80 year old. Padraic was struggling to deal with what he knew about his little sister, and he knew he needed to tell Nate what he knew, but he feared how Nate would react, Katie was his one and all, his lover, his angel, his reason for being.
“”Ello Nathan” Padraic spoke softly, he needed to tell Nate that he’d seen Katie. But more than that he knew it was time he told Nate everything he knew. That it was he who’d suggested she go away for a while. He hadn’t meant leave them without so much as a goodbye, just that she should get help for her increasing drug habit. The habit she’d kept secret from Nate. That he and Gracey had helped keep secret. The habit neither of them had yet had the courage to tell him of. But now…he could see what Katie’s absence was doing to Nate and he couldn’t handle it anymore.
“Paddy” Nate nodded solemnly. No one ever called him Nathan unless something serious was going on, that is with the exception of Katie when she was angry with him.
“What’s going on? You called me Nathan…” his suspicion was growing. From the day they’d met, Paddy had only called him Nathan once, and that was when he found out that Katie and he were dating, and had wanted to inform him that she was a broken girl and no relationship was to be entered into lightly.
Padraic closed his eyes and exhaled slowly before opening them again, “Why don’t…let’s head out to the balcony and let Gracey finish making dinner eh?”
He started off without waiting for a response, taking the stairs 2 at a time, attempting to clear his head and arrange his thoughts as he did so.
Finally he made it to the double French doors that lead onto the balcony with the brilliant view of the city below. Taking a seat on one of the deck chairs, he waited for Nate to do the same. The silence felt as though it was pressing against his shoulders, making his chest tight and forcing him to slow his breathing.
“So?” Nate did not take a seat, but remained standing, looking out over the city with his lifeless eyes. The city of his childhood, which he no longer took the time to appreciate. The city that had made him feel sick and alone since Katie left. Katie. Where was she right at this moment? What was she doing? New York was the sort of city that appreciated a beautiful girl for all the wrong reasons as far as Nate was concerned. He hated the thought of her out there alone, without him by her side. He tried not to think of some of the things that she could be doing. Instead when he thought of her he focused simply on her, the physical aspects of her, not the situation she might be in. He thought about her amber eyes and chocolate hair. Her red lips and the blisters she got on her hands from drumming. The way she’d sing in the shower when she thought he wasn’t home. The way she’d yell when she got passionate about something or the way she’d cuss when she hurt herself. The way she looked when she first woke up in the morning…but then the more he thought of her the more his heart seemed to ache and scream. He missed her. It was that simple, he missed her and he wanted her back. Only no one seemed to know where she was or why she’d left, so where did he start in order to get her back?
“Nate…” Padraic sighed again, “The reason I got you out here is I need to tell you something” This was going to be painful. No matter how he said it, it would hurt.
“Alright” Nate looked at him cautiously. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Paddy. Quite the opposite. They’d been friends for years; it was because of Paddy that Nate had even met Katie in the first place. “What is it? You’ve got that look you get when you have something important to say but don’t know how to say it”
It made Paddy smile a little, Nate could read him like an open book every time. No point trying to lie about it, he’d know if he lied. “Nate, it’s about Katie…”

Ooh and just so y'all know, the next chapter is one of my favourite so far!!

Or a teenage girl...lol.

This was a gorgeous update honey, and I couldn't ask for anything more than being your beta. it is an honour, really. I think you have great talent (as shown in helping me write that essay) and I'm so glad you're posting here again. *hugs* I love you long time.

P.S If it's the chapter I think it is, then it is my favourite too! lol

:heartbeat: Pat

**marries chapter, consieves it numourous beautifully written children**

Tish- you have no idea how tempted I was to say teenage girl, but then I was like wait, maybe thats a little harsh to Nate.
Thankyou so much bella, I honestly don't think I could ask for a more awesome beta than you, I men you give me the critisim thats wanted but the courage that is needed to keep this story going, so again thanks! *hugs you back tightly* I love you longer!!
And yes, I do believe that the nest one your thinking of is the one and same as I'm talking about.

And Han- Aww what beautiful children, though I'm not sure they're well written...and if they are thats all your talent darling.

ok. So I'm currenty suffering a major case of writers block and it's driving me mad. So If chapter six turns into total crap (that is to say crappier than usual) my most sincere apologies.

Chloe xxx

I'm ssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooo sorry. I am such a bad reader. :meh: Please forgive, i didn't mean to take so long in replying. They were all fatastic. The descriptions everything. I love the story line and the characters. its heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. To me anyways some may simply find it heartbreaking. Anyways can't wait for more and i'll try to reply a whole lot sooner if you get out of the nasty writers block. And i highly doubt your writing could be crappy.

Ciao
~Claire

thanks Claire!! And of course I forgive you, it's nice to have you back, not to say that Tish and Han aren't giving me good replies, but it's nice to have somone else giving me feedback! As for the writers block it's still with me, but I have some ideas so its not too bad!

Chloe xxx