Okay, so this is written for girls, but maybe guys can apply it to...
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HOW TO SURVIVE A BREAKUP

I know that it hurts. Believe me I know that nothing at all will make it feel better right this moment. There are no magic words, no magic formulas, no magic foods or any special words of wisdom that can be said by anyone to make the hurt and heart ache of a break up go away.

For whatever reason you are no longer in a relationship. Your fault, his fault, or any combination of circumstances in between caused the break up. However, really the only important thing is to acknowledge that there was a break up and begin to slowly deal with how to move on or at least how to live day to day.

The following is some suggestions, tips, helpful reminders, and heck even some good ole fashion TLC that is desperately needed.

CRY, CRY, CRY AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE CRY SOME MORE

Some will tell you that crying is bad and they will try and get you to stop crying. Ignore those people. We are by nature as women emotional creatures, part of how we deal with things is to cry so that we can release the pain and the emotion. You hurt right now, everything hurts right now, breathing probably hurts right now; so cry. Let it all out, if you have to run to the bathroom in the middle of work and cry do it, if you suddenly are standing at your kitchen sink and the tears start falling down your face let them, if you are driving in your car and that song that reminds you of him comes on the radio go ahead and sob. Don't fight the tears and don't beat yourself up over them. Nothing is going to make them stop yet, so do what you can when they come and hold onto yourself.

LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS

You will fast find out who your true friends are, they will be the ones that sit there and tell you that it will be okay that it completely sucks right now and that they know everything hurts but you will survive. They will also be the ones that will hand you the hard truth. If the relationship didn't work out they are going to be the ones that tell you why they think it didn't and their reasoning will probably be that he was not doing, giving or showing something that they felt that you needed. These friends will also be the ones that you should call when you have the moment of insanity and desperately want to call him and beg him to take you back. Call them, reach out to them, they may get to a point where they tell you that its been long enough but the true friends while saying that will also be the ones that hand you the box of tissues, order the pizza and find the movies that make you both laugh.

BE ACTIVE

If you don't already exercise regularly then get out and do something. Run, walk, dance, hike but be active. A lot of emotion can be burned off and out by simply letting your body work itself physically. Hiding at your house/apartment/dorm room is not going to make you feel better, in fact it will only give you more time to dwell and think about things and rehash them over and over again. Being active will also give you a reason to take care of yourself physically even when you truly don't care much about what is going on outside of your head.

SHOP

Yes, shop. Go to your favorite store and buy clothes, shoes, sexy lingerie anything that will give you a boost, a pick-me-up, a small thrill, anything that will make you smile or feel sexy. Your self esteem probably took a beating over this, you are probably feeling all of those words that should be four letter words but don't really apply to you but your beating yourself up and why not add all of those derogatory words to the list of things your heaping onto yourself. Buy that corset that you have always wanted, buy those jeans that just make your behind look hot, buy that shirt with the V-neck in it that is sexy and makes you feel extremely feminine. Then actually WEAR what you bought. Even if you only wear it to the store, the mall or out to get breakfast, wear your new item. Let it caress you, touch you, and please your skin.

SHOES

There is a certain way that a woman walks in high heels or heeled boots (like cowboy boots). We have this ability to roll our hips, sashay as we walk, give that little swivel as we go that would make a dead man stand up and notice. THOSE are the shoes that need to find their way to our feet. We took a blow to our femininity, our core. Anything that reminds us to be feminine, sexy, and maybe just a little sultry is going to go a long way to helping us out. No woman can deny feeling sexy as her hips roll as she walks in a pair of these shoes. There is something inanely female that comes from wearing those shoes.

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR 'SURROUNDINGS'

'Surroundings' a euphemism for men. There were always men around you, but because you were in a committed relationship you simply ignored them looking at you. Well, pay attention now. Nothing says that you have to do anything more then merely notice that they are looking. Right now though you need all of the help that you can get and all of the little ego strokes will go a long way in helping pull some of 'you' back together again. Notice the guy at the gym that seems to always smile when you walk past, notice the guys at work that gather around you to talk, take notice of the men at the mall, the grocery store, wherever you happen to be that they were looking before take notice. Women when we are in a committed relationship turn off our man radars simply because we have what we want and to us even looking is treading on that cheating line. It's time to turn the radar back on, not to pick anything up per say but merely to acknowledge that there is interest and appreciation out there.

SAY NO TO OVER INDULGING

No over eating. Food will not fill your heart.

No excessive drinking. Alcohol will only dull things for a time and you will wake up feeling worse.

No illegal drugs. See the reason for no alcohol above.

No cigarette smoking. Bad for your lungs and a nasty habit to pick up.

No sleeping around. One night stands, stranger sex and sex with men or women that you wouldn't have looked at before only give you other regrets and other possible problems (diseases).

MUSIC

*Chaka Khan
*Alanis Morrisette
*Janet Jackson
*Enya
*Sarah McLachlan
*Aretha Franklin
*The Supremes
*Gloria Gainer
*Tina Turner
*Cher
*Madonna
*Pat Benatar
*Heart
*Destiny's Child
*Mya
*Pink
*Mis-teeq

Find the best women of rock, pop, soul, funk and angst music and set them free in your house, car, bedroom and head. Let them lift you up onto their shoulders and allow the message of their music to sooth you, carry you, and to transport you into a place that makes you feel thrilled to be a fiery, passionate, and beautiful woman.

GOING OUT

The bar that your girlfriends were always telling you about....

The new dance club down the street....

That place that everyone you work with seems to hang out when work is finished...

The bistro that you see when you drive home....

That coffee shop around the corner from the Art Department building...

Where ever it is, head there. Go out, don't sit and home and pine for him. Don't sit alone and wish that he would come back because more then likely he has already moved on. Women tend to linger, we have hope, faith and dreams that he will come back or the relationship was not as bad as we thought it was and we go back to them but it will not happen. Take yourself out, take your friends out, but get out of your house, your condo, apartment, dorm room, just get out and do something other then sitting there in the dark wishing that he was there with you.

WORK

Is there anything more you can do at work? Are there any new positions open? What about transferring to a different department or even another location of your job? Sometimes the thing that need the most is to get away from our work, out lives, everything that was there to remind us of them. Sometimes burying yourself in work is one way of doing that. Pick up some more hours at work, a few extra shifts, try working at a different time; try anything that will give you another reason to try something new and get you away from thinking about him constantly.

SCHOOL/CLASSES

Have you always wanted to take a cooking class? A dance class? A pottery class? Maybe you have always wanted to train to run in a marathon, now is the time to do it. Give yourself goals that were not there beforehand or maybe even pick up an old goal and try and achieve it again. Renew your dedication to yourself and to this new adventure.

MEMENTOS

This one is tricky. This one can cause the most grief and the most heart ache. Take all of the mementos and put them away. Hide them in a box, put them in your closest but do something with them so that you will not have to look at them every single day. Leave one item out. One item that you can see that you can touch, something that you can look at and simply 'feel'. This is not done to torment yourself, this is done so that you can remind yourself of the times that it was happy and good. Set that one tiny picture out where you can see it, just for those times.

GIFTS/PRESENTS

This falls in line with the mementos. If you bought gifts that were not given to him or his family yet see if you can return them. If you cannot return them then try and donate them to your local homeless shelter, hospital, or even a place that abuse victims sleep. If you feel strongly about it, give the gift to the person that it was intended; but only give it if you are sincere in your giving.

THEIR FAMILY

By now his family probably knows. There is nothing you can do about it. If you are close to any of his family members, give them a graceful out. Do not shove them out of your life if they do not want to go but give them the option of following him out of your life if they feel that things will be too awkward since the break up. Be the bigger person here and understand that with the lose of him you may very well have lost that family connection as well. If however parts of his family still wish to talk with you and be social do not use it as a way to keep tabs on him, it will only hurt worse when he finally does meet another woman.

YOUR FAMILY

If your family knew him, about him, or even smelled fresh meat in the water of your love life tell them. It is entirely possible that they might not see you for a bit of time between the break up and when you actually hear from them again. It would be devastating to have them suddenly ask about him and you crumble to pieces in front of them. Just carefully tell them that you are no longer together and that it would be helpful if you simply didn't have to talk about it to anyone.