Rating: G
Disclaimer: These are my emotions. That is all.

Translucent


There is a room full of dark and light, people separated on each side. And, she walks between them, she moves forward alone, choosing where each step will lead her.

Eyes are teeming with sorrow, tears spill down each cheek soundlessly, streams of despair because of her loss. A mistake, maybe, to hold onto something for so long.

The dark ones scowl at her, sneering with their blazing eyes. They like to think they triumph, when she cradles her head in her hands, when she twists beneath the bed sheets from pain bearing down upon her chest. The dark is wicked, none of them truly understand.

The light ones do their best to push her forward, to give their support. And, they mean the world to her; she wouldn’t take each step without them. But, in the end she moves alone, and no matter how much they try and help, it is up to her own strength.

So, she moves, silent, taking in steady breaths. It can’t always be so bad; it won’t always feel like the weight of the world upon her shoulders.

Yet, right now, she knows not where those steps lead her, where life will unfold. No more does she trust herself or her instincts, she is like a little girl again. Only, she cannot allow herself to slip back into childhood; she is a woman, whether she can believe it or not.

The rain beats down, heavy droplets of burden on skin, as words haunt her. Sentences, phrases that once made her feel beautiful only cut to the heart now. Slicing away at the confident person she once was, making her turn inside, shove the pain to a hiding place.

She doesn’t want to disappoint anyone, even if she considers herself a failure. And, when they tell her she is strong, she doesn’t believe it. When he says he still loves her and always will, she knows it is a lie.

To be second best, to be the consolation prize was always her greatest fear, and now it is recognized. The assurance in her own body, in her thoughts and behavior melted away, a fire of deception burning it all down.

She wants to go back to where she was, the place of no jaded feelings, those moments when she sparkled with her own light. Those times are trapped in ice, recollections to plague her always.

And, the news is, everyone suffers, and so many people before have trod down this path of pain. She just never thought she would traipse along it, each second sharp as a knife across her throat.

The scattered memories that fly before her eyes like pictures in the wind offer no comfort, and act relentlessly on her heart. Crying out she wants mercy, but it takes ultimate fighting and defiance of her mind each second to keep them away, to keep the torture to a minimum.

But, she keeps walking, her heart wounded, and breaking down a little more each day. And, she learns to be alone, to not have the words she was so used to hearing.

I love you, I love you.

There is nothing but hate that remains.

Or, maybe she is just trying to be brave again. It might only be grief left inside.

Wow a real powerful bit of writting, you put the emotions across so well so that we really felt what you are going through and well :hug: I hope it all gets better soon.

Damn, and then you talk about MY imagery?
:cry:
You know this touched me deeply, sis... I only wish you didn't take your inspiration from where we know you did... this story si worth every word, but I feel so sad you wrote it, I don't know if I made myself clear.

:love:

Wow...
This was an incredible piece of work.
It's good to be able to release some of the emotion you have by writing it, even if it truly isn't gone. :cry:

~Stacy~

Thank you, ladies, so much for reading this. It was hard to write, and I am sure it was hard to get through, knowing how precisely real this story is. Thank you for the support and love.

It must have been way hard to write this, although I'm glad you did. It helps to get your feelings out there, not just bottling them up, and it helps us to get a better insight into you.

As for the story, there was some very powerful imagery in there, my dear, and some beautiful language as well. Your writing just gets better and better every time I read something new, especially your darker stuff. I'm DESPERATELY hanging out for UYS! :love:

Sweetie, this was beautiful.

But it saddens me that this is not just a figment of your imagination.

I love you. :hug:

That really was magnificent imagery. I love anything that makes me feel real emotion inside; it lets me know I am alive. I can't wait to read more from you.

Thank you so very much, my dear. Your kind words really made my day. I'm so happy you read and took the time to comment. Thanks again!