Hey gals, again.

I think I will try to make a point in putting a new discussion up each week *lol*, this is one of my fav sections after all.
So today: Is a Lond Distance Realtionship, or even a realtionship between two ppl from different countries possible?
Have you ever done something like that, and how was it?
What do you think in genreal, if you met someone who seems the perfect mate for you - would you get into it even though he lived far away?

have fun discussing!

hugs
Laila

My first relationship was about 4 years ago and it was a long distance thing.

I've been best friends with this guy Steven since I was 2 years old. Well he's always had a crush on me even though I never really knew it till just a few years ago. I live right outside of Memphis, Tennessee and he lives in Mobile, Alabama. It's about a 6 to 7 hour drive. Anyway I started liking him too so one summer when we came down there to visit...he asked me out on the Fourth Of July just before the fireworks on the beach. It was really cute. Anyway we only had one day together as a couple before I had to drive home with my parents. We would talk on the phone and mainly over AIM. He would also write me emails whenever I wasn't on AIM.

Two weeks later my mom, two sisters, and I went back down there to stay a week. It was really great for Steven and me because we got to spend TONS of time together since we were staying at their house. Well that time ended quickly and I went back home. It was really hard being away from him because I really liked him and loved the time we spent together. School started and seeing all the couples together made it even harder not to be with him. Our long distance relationship lasted about 2 months. It just became too hard so I broke it off.

Maybe I was just young and couldn't handle it then. I think I could handle it better now then I did then for sure. It really does depend on the person and how deep into the relationship you are if the long distance thing will work.

I think if you find that one perfect person, your soul mate, then I believe even over the distance you'd want to have a relationship. If you love someone so much a little thing like distance shouldn't stand in the way of true love. You should just find times to see each other, as much as possible...Keep in touch over the phone most definately and even over e-mails, letters, and AIM. I don't think long distance relationships are bad, but I think they are alot harder when you're younger and haven't really had a relationship before.

Ok my rambling is done :P

Christi

I'm not really a believer in long distance relationships. My last relationship ended because of it, and we only lived a 20 minute drive away! But being in different schools, and neither of us having our own cars, seeing eachother only came once every week to week and a half, mainly on weekends. It did work for 3 months, but eventually it just wasn't worth it. I think a long distance relationship can only last for so long before it falls apart.

I voted for the first one. It's possible if you both want it enough. I mean, it's not fun not to be able to see your love, your own, your precious as often as you'd like, but when you're in love I suppose you're willing to put up with that. It's true that you mostly see the good parts in your partner - when you don't see each other a lot, you probably want to make the time you spend together as fun as possible. That means, no fighting, avoiding arguments, etc. Also, you don't get to participate in each other's lives a lot, so that's a con as well.

Hmm.. the more I think of it, the worse I think of relationships like this.

I was in one as well. The guy I was with lived on the other side of the country. We didn't see each other a lot, which gave him the opportunity to half-cheat on me <_< Things like that are much easier to do when you live far away.

But still, I think it might work if you put enough effort in it.

this is a good question indeed, since it's exactly the situation I find myself in.

I've known Phil (he lives in England, I live in Germany) for 4 years now. we started off as pen pals in 2000 and have wanted to visit each other every year because we felt we had a lot in common after some letters and phonecalls. but maybe it was a good thing we didn't manage to meet before, because we got to know each other really well.

so, when we met this summer it was really strange at first, because evn though we'd known each other for years, we'd never met in person. but it was like a cliché in a Hollywood love story - I walked into the terminal, saw him and was in love. and after a wonderful week I found out he felt the same.

So, now I have a boyfriend... in England. It's hard because I'm, still in school, and flights are expensive. Plus, my holidays don't usually come together with his holidays from work and uni, so we can only see each otther again this Christmas.

I have no idea where this is going, but I decided to give it a try. I refuse to think about the possibility that he might find someone else or cheat on me, because I want to trust him - and I won't brood on things I don't know. maybe we'll last until 2006, when I graduate and could move to England.

So... bottom line: I hope it works. Coz I don't know yet.

Okay.. If you ask me I'd tel lyou that I rather have a long distance relationship that a same city relationship. The reason? I'm kind of commitmentphobic. I find it easier to be with a boy who'd let me be *free* in the week and I'll get to be his girl in the weekends.

I've been twice in long distance's relationships. With the same kind of story, he living in a 3 hours far city, me in my hometown, he'd arrive on friday, he'd leave on sunday. Not big deal with me. But the problem comes when I get to have a boyfriend in the same city, I start having trouble with the feeling of my ouwn independence, and I have trouble.

So i guess I have to fix that before. But I think that Long Distance Relationships work out when you put the double of the work than in a normal relationship. You see the guy less and less so the few times together, you have to mark it in his memory so he'd think of you all the time until you get to see him again.

:blush:

Andie

Yes, I definitely think it's possible.

My brother is the perfect example of this. He has a girlfriend who lives in Kansas City, KS, and we live in Memphis, TN. To those of you who don't know the distance, it's quite a long ways.
He and his girlfriend have been together for a while now, and they are going strong. He has met her and seen her a couple of times (with help of my father and his trucking), and they call each other all the time.
I believe in long distance relationships, although not all of them. Some of them work, some of them don't. It all depends on the people and how dedicated to their partner they really are.

I was asking this because I was about to get into one of these relationships - well now there is actually no turning I think. And I don't want to.
His name is Hart and he's british, while I am as JadeSalSolo from germany (Hey are you german - I had no idea! *lol*) Well how else we met each other online a while ago, well not as long as you might think - but I mean I have talked to many many guys online in the past years and nothing was like with him - we like totally connected and now we phone almost every two days, sometimes more more then that - crashing our phonebill.

Anyway I just miss him all the time, and I feel strange like I have fallen in love with him - we will meet at NewYear and he'll stay for a week... and i suppose then I'll be lost.

The good thing is that if everything goes right I will be studying in Glasgow in 2006 and well that is where he always wanted to move (he studies in Aberdeen).
So we have this positiv outlook even though I dont like talking about it since it sounds so... presumptious.

But well... I know that he thinks even about stuff in the even further futur so... *lol* It's just that I have been single by choice for about 3 years - because I didn't find the right guy - eithetr they liked me or I liked them it never came together...
And I can be quite picky *lol*

anyway - I just hope it'll woprk, cause... cause well he is a wonderful person...

That's great Laila! Go for it! He sounds nice, from what you've said.

Louise Ann
xx
:lalala:

Long distance relationships...what can I say? sigh. You see, I just came out of one. My boyfriend and I dated for four years. A year and a half ago, I had to move about four hours away when I transferred colleges. I figured we would have no problem with the long distance thing. I was wrong.

It gets to the point that when you're so far away from each other, you can't help but lose touch. When your lives are so separate, it is hard to reconnect once you see one another again. Things were going one way up here for me, while going a complete other way for him. We didn't share things like we used to. Neither of us could understand exactly what was going on in the other's life. I became close with friends in my new home, he grew closer to people where he was. We were no longer each other's support system, and it became weird.

We also had the problem of time. When I'd actually get the chance to go home, it wasn't just him there. My entire family would want to spend time with me, as well as my old friends. I would be torn in different directions trying to squeeze a million activities into one tiny weekend. And, he would get mad. He saw me so little, he needed one hundred percent when I was around. Which, was impossible.

Then, when he came up here I would be so busy with school work, tests, and the like, there was no fun, relaxing bonding time. Just stress and fights.

And, that's what it became, one fight after another about not getting to spend enough time together. It got to the point where I dreaded calling him, as I knew it would just equal another fight.

My conclusion to the whole topic is, if you are going to be in a long distance relationship, you better be prepared to really work at it. It is the most stressful and pressure-filled thing I have ever done. And, my efforts were fruitless.

I do not think that all long distance relationships are doomed, you just have to be able to really compromise your way of thinking and your normal activities of life. And, inevitablly, you have to move closer together. They cannot go on for years and years successfully.

That is my experience. As you can all see, my opinion on this topic is a bit jaded, but I thought it needed to be brought to light.

Well, I am currently in a long distance relationship. It's my first relationship at all, so this is very new to me. My boyfriend lives all the way in British Columbia, and I live in Ontario, so basically we are hours upon hours apart. The plane ride alone is four hours, but even then it takes me two hours to get to the airport, and it takes him six.

We've been together for just over two months, and it is extremely difficult, but I really think it's worth it. These kinds of relationships do need double the work. It's so hard when an argument comes up and you can't address it face to face, and you can't be there with the person when you really need to be. But when things are good, they are really really good. I don't know, it just depends on how strong you can be by yourself, and with this person.

I think that if you are truly in love with your partner then you will make it work no matter what. That's what my bf and I are trying to do now. It feels impossible because there are all sorts of other factors that come into this (I won't go into detail) so everything is ten times more difficult but I have faith in this. It's also hard because he and I have never met in person...

Oh well.