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| Like many moviegoers who also happen to be readers, I've had to learn to temper my disappointment when a beloved book gets a bungled big-screen adaptation. For my own piece of mind, and the safety of fellow cinema patrons, I've resisted the impulse to hurl rotten tomatoes at movies that made hash out of heavenly prose — although movie reviews are fair game for metaphorical tossed tomatoes. It's been tough. When Clint Eastwood botched the adaptation of Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil, I felt like staring him down and demanding, "Do ya feel lucky today, punk? Well, do ya?" And when Lasse Hallström managed to sink The Shipping News, I swore off Swedish meatballs for life. I still haven't forgiven Kevin Spacey for starring in both of these duds. Reading is serious business, and readers are even touchier than movie fans. I fully understood the concern of Tolkien devotees about Peter Jackson's The Lord Of The Rings trilogy when the project was first announced several years ago. Having endured numerous fiascos involving schemes to adapt the trilogy — Ringo Starr was set to play Frodo at one point — the Tolkienistas were so alarmed at the thought of what Jackson might do, they began an online petition urging him to remain true to the tome. Which I believe he did, although people still quibble about the casting, the excised chapters and the reworked characters. I've come to realize, and I always defend this point, that a book is a book and movie is a movie, and you can't expect these very different forms to match each other like hand to glove. One is a printed medium designed to spark imagination; the other is a visual medium designed to interpret imagination. The best you can hope for is that the movie will remain true to the spirit of the book. But I must admit that when it comes to The Da Vinci Code, my current favourite novel, all bets are off. Having finally caught up with Dan Brown's intricately plotted cops-and-clerics mystery thriller during a recent cottage vacation, a mere 18 months or so after it began its long perch at the top of bestseller lists, I've decided a trip to the greengrocer's may be necessary if Hollywood screws this one up. This time, it's personal. I'm already worried. According to Variety, the movie version of The Da Vinci Code is to be directed by Ron Howard, who has spent much time in Toronto recently filming the boxing biopic The Cinderella Man with Russell Crowe. The screenwriter will be Akiva Goldsman, who won an Oscar for his work on A Beautiful Mind, which Howard also directed. I didn't much like A Beautiful Mind, even though it won the Oscar for Best Picture, and I'm no big fan of Howard's or Goldsman's work — especially the latter, if you remember him from such earlier bombs as Batman & Robin and Lost In Space. As long as Howard and Goldsman stay reasonably close to the story, and its many twists and turns through cleverly concealed clues gathered from museums and castles from Paris to London, I can probably live with them. But the casting is a whole other concern, and being the helpful guy I am, I'd like to suggest a few names. There are five key Da Vinci Code characters — Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon, police cryptologist Sophie Neveu, police Capt. Bezu Fache, Holy Grail hunter Leigh Teabing and killer cleric Silas — for whom wise acting choices must be made. (I would include Louvre curator Jacques Saunière in this list, but his part doesn't require much screen time.) In the absence of an official statement from Howard's people, the Internet has been rife with speculation about who will play these roles and others. It is no mere parlour game, although Web sites like ImagineCasting.com play it as one: The Da Vinci Code movie, if done properly, should not only yield a hit film but start a profitable franchise, since author Brown uses his character Langdon as a sort of latter-day Indiana Jones. Speaking of Indiana Jones, Brown tips whom he'd like to see play Langdon by referring to him as "Harrison Ford in Harris tweed," in the early pages of The Da Vinci Code. Ford fits the bill physically, possessing the dark hair, the dimpled chin and baritone voice described of Langdon. But age is a big factor — Langdon is in his early 40s; Ford is in his early 60s. As much as I like Ford, he'd be the wrong choice for Robert Langdon. My vote would be for Aaron Eckhart, Guy Pearce, Edward Norton or Viggo Mortensen, in roughly that order. They're all the right age and bearing, combining Langdon's smarts with his vulnerability. (Incidentally, I interviewed Eckhart yesterday about his upcoming thriller Suspect Zero, and he said he'd be keen to do Langdon, but nobody's mentioned it to him yet.) My fear is that Howard might want to give the part to Russell Crowe, who would be all wrong for it. A French actress — no ifs, ands or buts — must play sexy sleuth Sophie Neveu. It just wouldn't do to have an American or English actress tottering around on Sophie's high heels or zipping around Paris in her Smart car. This should be a no-brainer, but Kate Beckinsale's name keeps coming up in Net speculation, and it must cease immediately. My pick for the part is Ludivine Sagnier, the hottie from last summer's François Ozon thriller Swimming Pool. I'd also be willing to entertain thoughts of Emmanuelle Béart for the role, although at age 39, she's seven years older than Sophie. My nightmare choice would be Jennifer Lopez. Sophie's cunning boss on the Paris police force, Captain Bezu Fache, can only be played by one man: Jean Reno. Brown describes Fache as a man who "carried himself like an angry ox, with his wide shoulders thrown back and his chin tucked hard into his chest ... As he advanced, his dark eyes seemed to scorch the earth before him." That sounds like Reno to me and to the vast majority of Net pundits. Then there's Leigh Teabing, the portly British gentleman and Grail scholar who gets caught up in the Da Vinci mystery, and who has the wit and means to do something about it. As I read the book, I kept thinking of British character actor Jim Broadbent, whom we'll soon see in Mira Nair's Vanity Fair. His name is also popular with Webheads, but my eyebrows raise sky-high at what seems to be their next most popular pick: Sean Connery. No, no, no! Finally, there's the choice for the masochistic and murderous albino cleric Silas, who will look great glowering down from movie posters. ImagineCasting.com has Paul Bettany in the lead among decided voters, followed by Crispin Glover. I like those guys, and also the suggestion of Jim Caviezel further down the list, but it scares me to see names like Hugh Jackman, Gerard Depardieu and Dolph Lundgren (!) attracting votes. And really, does the movie need any name stars at all? It would sell tickets even with a cast of complete unknowns, although that might rule out serious Oscar attention. I trust Mr. Howard and Hollywood will take these recommendations in the spirit in which they are presented. I wouldn't want to have to make that trip to the rotten vegetable bin. |