I was scared to write. I remember learning about the Accordian Paragraph in elementary school with the intro sentence, main ideas, support, etc. I was stunned and bewildered by it all. Writing seemed so robotic. I didn't know if I could follow the rules correctly.

In middle school all my teachers said that I was a good writer, but I had no idea what that meant. What makes someone a good writer? Is it the grammar? Is it the content? Is it organization? I had serious doubts about my capabilities to put words on paper. That had an effect on me when I got into high school.

I remember my first in-class essay like it was yesterday. The essay was on Hiroshima. I was felt confident that I'd get a decent grade, because the teacher told us the question and I had prepared some supporting ideas the night before. I did the essay. It was the standard 5 paragraph essay (or FPE for short). I wrote it within the alloted time frame. I got it back the next class with a D. From that moment on I was scared to write anything.

One of my closest friends in high school, Erryn, used to read books whenever I'd see her, and we would talk about the books we read. In the morning before school started she would give me her stories that she was working on, and I was impressed with what she could do. I wished that I could be able to write stories. I thought to myself, "I should try this. If I write and write I might improve." I knew that creative writing is different than essay writing, but it's writing.

So I started writing poems and stories that I had in my head. I guess I turned into a closet writer, because the only person who saw my writings was Erryn. My parents didn't know I wrote anything. I would write at 12AM - 2AM some nights because I was afraid of losing whatever idea I had. Writing became my hobby from then on, and my essay grades in English class did get better.

I'm still conscientious about sharing my stories. In a way they are personal to me. Some of them are based of certain aspects in my life. I sometimes ask my friends to read some of my stories or poems, so I am getting better with sharing.

I write in a journal when I have the time to. It's relaxing and it's a good way to vent and escape from the chaos around you. I think that's one of the greatest things about writing: getting rid of stress and creating something brilliant. That is why I like to write.

That's totally awesome and I felt the exact same way. When they first taught writing in school I remember thinking 'what!? How am I supposed to remember this structure!?!' it was even worse than math because there wasn't an exact formula to follow, it was like... this annoying changing one that you could sometimes change and sometimes couldn't. I think I just had a bad teacher... or a bad teaching system. They taught it to me when I was really young and it sucked because, like most children, I had a HUGE imagination and all the rules and what not really felt restricting on it. Gah, sorry, I'm getting into my own history here!

The essay thing... well, I've always sucked at essays. I just can't do them. I love talking about books and arguing different points but when it comes to getting it down on paper I just can't. I'm not organized enough.

I am soooo awkward about sharing my writing as well. I have a couple of friends that I share somethings with... but usually its only things that I'm planning to post on sites and what not. It's kind of like baring a bit of my soul when I give people things of mine to read. Is it the same with you?

Sorry for rambling on like this... but I found your autobiography piece very interesting and I can kind of relate to it :)