I know this topic can hurt suceptibilities but it is necessary in part because I've came acros people who think it is not orth it, a mistake and some other just don't pay attentuion to it.

I'd love to know your opinion bout it!

I don't classify it as 'good' or 'no good' but rather the principles each individual holds.

For me, I don't think it's something to be abstaining from. I mean, you are going to spend the rest of your life (probably, but with the high rate of divorces...) with this guy, and he might be bad at sex or something.

Sounding very 'evil' (in a way) now, but I think sex life is tremendously important to marriage life. Plus you get to know further how the guy is really like (physically and emotionally) in a way.

Uh, nice topic!


I am a supporter of pre-martial sex, though I don't have it.
But I would if I met the guy I truly believe I love, because I feel mature enough to decide for myself. I mean I would not want to marry someone and I don't know how we connect in bed. I mean that's importaint stuff - I might maybe be completely tense with him and can never have sex without the light out or he has some kinks and is into stuff I could never handle - I mean I need to know that BEFORE I marry him, right?

Also I don't think I wanna marry anytime soon - I can marry when I am good in my job and everything is fine - like in ten years... But I won't stay celebate until I am 30!!!
That rule also make couples marry sooner then they maybe should and have sexwithout being completely ready for it is in my eyes not as bad as marrying without really knowing what it means. And generally I don't believe people are marture enough to marry with 20-22. Really - but in areas where most ppl believe in no sex before marriage that happens much more often then somewhere else.

Also in the end it just gives women less rights because THEY are the ones where one can see if they really never had sex and so that just leads to that virginity horror islam girls suffer from.

I do not think maturity has something to do with age - but still I am absolutely against sex before 15... actually before 16. Sorry to all who are, but I never talked to any girl who di9dn't regret it...

more another time

Laila

All Laila said too :D

Oh, and practice safe sex. No STDs, kids or any complications before that (unless you plan to have kids and married soon).

I guess it depends.

I agree with the pre marital sex, but i disagree when girls do it just because everyone is doing it. I mean, i agree with it only with the reason that you're sure you want to and you're sure and know all the consecuences it brings. I mean, i think it's kind of ... i don't know ... when the girls (and boys) agree to have sex but then they freak out because she is pregnant or AIDS and they say it can't be a then commit suicide, or abortion, o other things. I mean, it's ok but just agree with the consecuences it brings, and if you don't want that risk, don't do it, or do it but taking care of yourself.

that's all

:shine:

andie

I beleive in love... and to be honest is sex really necessary in a relationship?

When a man asks you to sleep with him and you say no, what will happens. What if he doesn’t wait for you and just move on, dose he really love you then?
Plus you get many different types of sicknesses or pregnant?

I don’t know… I believe that if two people love each other and trust each other then it's ok. But don't just throw away your virginity.

I kind of agree with Raine here.

But I'd like to add that sex is an important part of holding a marriage together.

I wish I got a dollar every time I read an advice column where the problem had to do with sex.

Not being physically attracted or turned on by your husband (or wife... ?) can lead to problems with marriage.

But that's problems with marriage. Not problems with dating.

That's exactly what I think. It's really sad when girls just throw away their virginity just because.
Not to mention cases when the girl gets pregnant, less when one of the parties gets a sickness because of it.

I agree with Laila on that girls (and boys for the matter, dunno) are probably not ready to have sex until 16 (wouldn't say an exact age, but around that, and of course depending on the person) and of course until they have someone they truly love to share the experience with.

I don't know about marriage, as Rachel said, it's thousand times when couples have problems because of sex, but I'm not sure if it has to do with if some of the parties had or not pre-marital sex.

I'm not adding anything new here, I guess :blush:

I'm not against it, but I'm not gonna tell ya: "Go have sex, kid!"
I think it depends on the case, maybe a person doesn't feel like having sex with anyone until they meet the love of their life and marry him/her. It can happen.
And if that's this person's beliefs, that he/she should wait until marriage, then it's his/her choice and will of course have to answer to the consequences it will bring.

I reckon live by what you believe and the way you want to live your life. If you don't have a problem sex out of wedlock then fine you can have sex before marriage. If you believe that you should save yourself. Do that. And if you keep to your work then I admire how strong you can stay true to your beliefs.

I don't have a problem with it. I'm a barstard child. My parents were never married and all my sisters are also barstards. Alot of my friends are too. Today in this society is its defintly not uncommon.

But if you don't want to have sex don't let anyone make you feel that you have to. No person is ever worth it. If he or she truely loves you they will wait

I'm w/ trufaith. Do what you think is right, and practice what you preach. I think we can all respect that.
That said, I mildly disapprove of total abstinance before marriage - people need to know what they're getting into. Sex doesn't always change everything, but at the very least it changes the relationship's dynamic. How many people here have slept with someone they thought they new inside and out, only to have them change after the fact?
And of course sex is necessary to an intimate relationship, i.e. marriage; it's the definitive characteristic.

Simply put... I've done it, and I'll do it again. Though, I don't reccomend the way I've done it. Be safe and if you feel in your heart that it's right, then go for it. As for age, yeah 16 is a nice target, but it's fully depending on maturity.

I personally am waiting until I'm married to have sex. That is the actual act of intercourse, to be clear.

BUT this is because I (a. Do not want to get pregnant (b. Have issues with trust and sex would make the relationship unstable and even more highly emotional for me (c. Don't want STD's (d. Enjoy being different and (e. Want to be able to fuck up a storm without being worried about getting caught, lol.

Suprisingly enough it's not because I'm a Christan. I made this decision as soon as I knew what sex was because I could never see it as something I could take in casual doses. It has a lot to do with insecurities and wanting to be respected.

I didn't mean that all guys lose respect for girls they sleep with, I know a lot of couples that survive with a sex life and there's no respect issues. It's just that my cousin has sex all the time with most of his galpals and he talks to me about it like it's expected of them. Almost like, if they had said no, he would have stopped liking them. I don't ever want to give myself to someone like that.

I would encourage virgins who aren't sure, to wait but I KNOW how hard it is. OMG it's hard. So I don't look down on anyone that has premarital sex. A part of me is very jealous because I want to physically ground my boyfriend into the bed (or floor if we don't make it that far) and wake up with matching scratch marks and rug burns all over our backs...yeah waiting is really hard...

BUT an upside to waiting is that we *cough* know each other and we have had plenty of time to learn what the other likes while becoming increasingly comfortable with each other's bodies...lol, I'm sorry...waiting to be sexually pleased in anyway could never work for me, but I can wait for sex itself.

Anyway to sum up...to each his/her own but be freaking safe about it like Ronda said.

Well, I think it's okay, but it depends on who you're with. It's totally up to the people who actually do it, so...yeah. lol.

-Andie

i dont see anything wrong with it as long as your ready.

Considering that I'm almost 15 this topic is important to me. I know a lot of girls who have already had premarital sex, and it doesn't really bother me, but most of them sleep around and I find that terrible. I tak my mom as a huge example from this, she had me when she was 17 and she wasn't married, but she took responsibility of me, and I'm perfectly normal, well as normal as it gets. I could care less if you save yourself or decide not to, but like pretty much everyone else said, be safe about it. At this point I'm not ready to have sex, hell I haven't gotten my first kiss. I don't think I'll be ready to for awhile, and even then I will not have sex until I meet a person that I love and trust and care about. I'm not going to throw myself away for some guy. My mom on the other hand, considering her situation, wants me to but I'm not sure (save myself that is, lol, in case you got confused). But the biggest strong point of mine is that you have to be mature enough to have sex, which means being safe or accepting the consequences of your actions.

Oh another note, what do you guys think of "Promise rings/commitments" and what not?

My friend has a promise ring and signed a document that she wouldn't have sex until married, she's into it so I don't really have a problem with it but I want the freedom to know that when I'm ready, whether I'm married or not, I can have sex and do so of my own free will. ;-)

Exactly my POV. But I also think it's okay to save yourself if it's a decision the girl makes solely for herself, i.e. when it isn't something that's forced upon her by society and/or religious beliefs or the like.

I am waiting until marriage before sex.

I see virginity is something special to give to your partner. It's sacred, it's yours. I think it's horrible that girls my age are throwing it away by sleeping with random guys. The pressure to have sex at my school is HUGE. I am not kidding when i say i'm probably 1 of 5 virgins out of 600 students.

I respect people who do it for love. If your in love it's okay; just not because the sake of it.

Hmm. The reply sounded better in my head. haha. I had alot more to say :)

I'm 10000% pro-premarital sex.

I really can't think of a reason to wait till you're married. Think of all the fun you miss out on! And what if you never get married?

It struck me that American girls often marry young. I have the feeling that that's often only to have legal sex. What's your opinion about this?

OMG, really?! That's just... scary! I don't think it's a good idea, because... well, I doubt those kinda marriages are destined to last. And just marry someone to have sex? I may sound like a queer romantic, but that's just not what love should be. *shakes head* definitely a no-no.

After reading and all that I found that maybe I didn't answer the question right in my first post.

I'm a virgin. I'm in college and I'm 20. And I love it. I agree about having sex, but it's not something I'm looking for right now. I've been so many friends to be lost over a guy who just used them as a sex toy. Or even worse, a friend just put us like dogs and talked about our need to have sex when we where like 15 or 16.

I've had boyfriends, God, yes I had them, and I'm like sexual active without reaching to that point. And that's okay to me. I think that I'll be ready to that step when I'd wake up the next day and I won't have guilty issues or when I'd know that the boy is going to be there for me.

And pressure from boys? Let them try, I'll dump them before they finish their line.

Lol

Andie

Being anti-marriage, I have no qualms about pre-marital sex. I believe it is a person's choice. On the other hand, I do not agree with being a whore and giving yourself up to just anyone. In order to engage in sex with a man, I would need to feel that I had known him for an adequate amount of time as well as trust him with more than just my life, and I would need to love him.

Yes. Whatever makes you happy, you know? If you feel you're ready, go for it! ^_^

It started out religious, but has become more personal, my decision to abstain.

As Jazz put it:

Its something I want to be able to give to my guy... whoever he is.

Also, hypothetically speaking: you're a virgin and you get married. So, you've never had sex before. How would you know if he's bad or good? I'm guessing its one of those things you can't explain and discuss with friends over whose partner's better or not...

And, if you weren't a virgin: how terrible to be comparing your husband/whatever to past partners.

Then, of course there are those technicalities: babies, diseases, heart-break.

For me, the decision to wait is because of these things. For others, I respect your decisions. I have friends who sleep together, and I still hold THE highest respect for them (she said, who was a straight edge before, that she wanted to do it with him because, what were the chances of her marrying another virgin?).

I just don't like sluts, frankly. Respect your body, thats all I ask. Or, if not, don't tell me about your "latest conquests" or whatnot. And don't get pissy at me for waiting and insult me for it. This is my decision and that is yours. Thank you and goodnight.

:heartbeat:
Samma

For me, sex is great when I know I'm in a loving, trusting relationship that has gone on longer than six months. For me, there's no such thing as casual one-night sex. I.E, in my last relationship that lasted three years, we didn't start all this heavy stuff until after eight months being together. Dave (my ex) totally waited for me. He respected me and, as long as I could get a guy like that then, I will always hold up that in my expectations for the perfect partner.

Teenagers and youngsters should do sex just because their friends are doing it because it can lead to all sorts of emotional strain - a thing youngsters shouldn't have to experience. Sex is for adults (over 16's in UK)

Pretty much what she said.