Now, if you read my live journal found here, you'll get more insight into this cuz I was a lil more.... explicit, I guess, on there than I would be comfortable being on here. But, question, can any type of person have gender identity issues, even really femme girls like me? Cuz there's no doubt in my mind that I am a lesbian but like, heterosexual um, like, sex scenes turn me on as well... not because I want to be the girl with the guy but because I want to be able to do the things that the guy does to the girl, if that makes any sense.

So lately I was thinking.... does that give me like, gender identity issues? Or is it just a lil sexual fetish thing? Does it mean I should be with a girly kind of girl, even though I am so insanely in love with my girlfriend? Or does it mean I should just try to be more dominating in bed and stuff?

Any insight would be helpful... LOL.

i know what you mean about the whole watching sex scene thing. i'm like that too... i want to be the guy doing the stuff to the girl. and that always made me think... "hmm, do i really wanna be a guy?" and then i was thinking, "i really like my vagina. nah, i don't think i wanna be a guy. i'll just have a strap on penis for when i feel like being a guy." it made me realize that i really did like girls because i wanted to do all the stuff to the girl. so for me, it was more reaffirming of my sexuality rather than having gender issues.

Ah-ha. Yes, I too love my vagina and would not want a real penis. But with me, the option of using a strap-on penis for when I feel masculine and dominating isn't there because my girlfriend is butch, she's the one who uses the strap-on. So..... how much of an issue is that? I mean, I am a little curious about what it would be like to be with a really girly girl and be the one in control but I really don't want to make love to anyone that isn't my girlfriend. And I definitely don't want to leave her over an issue like a lil sexual fetish. So what should I do?

hmm... lemme think about this one and get back to ya.

Great. Now you've made me nervous. I thought for sure that you would be like, no, just fantasize or whatever and it will be cool. Try to be a lil more dominating without using a strap-on (which she does want me to be a lil more dominating, anyway)..... Because you don't understand... I really, really don't want to leave my girlfriend. I am crazy insane in love with her... even though sometimes she makes me crazy insane. LOL. But I can't imagine life without her. I adore her. She's my best friend, you know? And she's just beautiful. I don't mean physically, even though I think she's pretty hot, but she's just like... amazing to me.... And I don't want to be without her. The idea terrifies me. And I have no desire to be with anyone else, really. The idea kinda makes me sick, actually. I just want to be with her because I love her so much.

So I don't know how to process those other feelings... the wanting to dominate... wanting to be the butch one, lol.... I don't know.

oh graham, i didn't mean to make you nervous!!!! :o i was just going to think about creative and fun ways that you can be dominating with your girl who you adore... i definately don't think you should even remotely think of anyone else. definately not!

LOL. I read my response and then read yours and I thought I was going to cry... LOL. It's just this stuff is kind of messing with me and I didn't know what it meant....

I appreciate your help, Nicole. Thanks. You're so completely sweet.

I'm a big nerd. LOL. :$

This is why I could never leave my girlfriend.... because she's the best in the whole world. Long story short last night we had the longest conversation ever about everything and I blurted out the entire story and she just laughed and told me that I wasn't weird and that we can try out any kind of fetish or whatever that I want. Yey! I was so relieved that I cried...

So if you have come up with anything, Nicole (or anyone else) I would really like to hear it...

I dont think that story is telling you that you are going to leave your girlfriend or anything. Did you read anything else that "sparked" your interest? Also, it depends on who wrote that story cause that might influnce the reader. Just a thought.
Have you talked to your g/f about this? what does she think?

No... it wasn't an issue of wanting to leave my girlfriend. And it wasn't even that story in general. It was that I was very turned on by the idea of being the one in command, the dominating one, doing those same things to a girl that the guy in the story was doing.... and to me, it's not really anything I can act on because my girlfriend is definitely the dominating way.... like I couldn't use the strap on and be the one in control. It just wouldn't work.

But.... we did have a long talk about it and I cried cuz I always cry and she was fantastic, as usual, and said that we can try new stuff, do anything I want to and see what I like and stuff.... and she said it's really normal and not a big deal and she was just pretty fantastic.....

:wub: