You know them, yet for me, it's weird. Every part of me dissagrees with another part. I'm not sure, all my philosophies have changed since I've hit puberty, and they're still changing.

It's started with my image as a Good Christian Boy, who didn't try to do anything wrong. He'd want good grades, and be athletic, and keep his faith. Then, as I enterd High school, I realized I'd been sheltered as a preteen. I listened to pop/punk/rock, and I didn't listen to the lyrics. Stuff like Sum 41, Bowling for Soup, Yellowcard, Breaking Benjamin, stupid stuff. I live in a pretty wealthy neighborhood.

My high school's Jesuit, and there's kids from all over. They don't have it so easy like me. Anyway, my ideal image shifted, and so did my personality, to being a high-energy level kid, who hated school and tried to make the best of his days at home, with no social life. This stage really sucked, and I'm happy to be past it. Not many people at school liked me. Here, I listened to stuff like Yellocard, and the Red Hot Chile Peppers, and Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. I was slightly emo, I believe

Now, this stage was one I'd always been in at grade school/Junior High, and kids from my old school tend not to like me that much.

Around my 15th birthday, I seriously mellowed down like I'd never done. I sort of developed a competitive edge, and I started caring a lot about my athletisism. So now I'm training myself for the hockey season. I guess I liked this me. I was starting to become that guy I'd wanted to be. I listened to Mat Kearny, MCR (sadly), and I think some Sum 41. I'd become a really neat kid, as Emily'd told me. I had a GF here too. I was really confident, and life was awesome.

After school got out, I have no idea what's happened to me. I think everything like, blew up one day, nothing went wrong, I just went home, and something changed inside of me, and I haven't gotten to place it yet. I was really, really depressed, though. And I'd become a better writer, why? I guess I owe that to my time reflecting and reading fanfics. A week later, I'd gotten a flip-turn in musical taste, I've started to like Goo Goo Dolls, The Afters, Better than Ezra, LifeHouse, and Mat Kearny's acustic works. I'm in a major conversion proccess now.

That's where it ends. I've got no grip on things, and I don't know what to act like anymore. You know that saying 'Just be yourself, cause everyone else is taken'? I don't know who I am. I'm lost, in a conversion. Each time I've been here before, I'd found an easy way out, and not dreaded over anything, and it was a quick two-or-three day thing.

This's been the whole summer for me, and I don't know what to do. I'm scared.

Right now, I'm kinda trying to live by this song -

Standing on top of the edge it feels like it's going down
Everything stays in my mind feeling in a daze on the ground
Feels like it's gonna give life's to hard to live anymore
I think I've had enough things too tough
I'm out the door

All in all it's just another day now
You're falling down
What you gonna do
Standing on top of the world tonight
No ones looking back at you

Stand tall
It's going on
It's going on
It's gonna be just fine
You're holding on
Holding on today

Things don't stop and the others announced they're moving on
Salt & tears in the minds in the mouths of a bad decision
Too late for another mistake it's bringing me down
With all your faults it isn't your fault
what's going on

All in all it's just another day now
You're falling down
What you gonna do
Standing on top of the world tonight
No ones looking back at you

Stand tall
It's going on
It's going on
It's gonna be just fine
You're holding on
Holding on today

So you lost yourself
So you lost your way
Found life through someone else
But you threw it all away

All in all it's just another day now
You're falling down
What you gonna do
Standing on top of the world tonight
No ones looking back at you

Stand tall
It's going on
It's going on
It's gonna be just fine
You're holding on
Holding on today

Times rolling on
rolling on today
It's going on
Going on today

Slient,

You're not alone on this one. I've experienced some of the similiar things, with the exception of wanting to go to hockey and the music you listen to. I've got a few questions but I don't know what to say first, so I'm going to list them, and I' am sorry if any of them are hurtful or just stupid XP.

1. Do you still have your girlfriend?
2. Are you finding your high school life better or worse than your junior school life?
3. Have you talked to any for your friends or family about this?
4. What that song called and who's it from?

~"TC"

Shorten that pls.

Wow. I'm entering high-school starting August 22nd. I'm so dang nervous about it, it's not funny. Oo; I'm the kind of guy that needs to know what to do in a planed-out schedule, or else I flip out and get confused. My "image" is some weird-funny kid who makes people laugh. xD And I like it that way. I make others laugh, it brightens up their days, and I leave satisfied. :D Of course, I still don't take crap from people. They call me names, I just laugh. xD

...is there a point to all of this, or do you just like to hear yourself talk?

_{Life as a teenager is all about finding yourself. We all go through these phases, so you're really not alone. Just do some deep reflecting and try to find out what makes you stand out from everyone else... What is it that you like about yourself? Dislike? It's all important, the good and the bad quialities. Just try to find that center in yourself and you'll see who you really are... Then you can just explode and have a good time with it. You're gonna feel lost. That's normal. Just stick through it. :) Your friends will love you more and you life will be signifigantly happier.}

1. No, I broke up with her. Finally.
2. To be frank, I've asked myself this question. There's so many pros and cons to each side, that I can't choose. I was in my old school (Jr. High) yesterday running an errand with my dad, and I was kinda hit with a nostalgic wave ^^; I do miss it a lot.
3. No, I haven't
4. All in All - Lifehouse