Hi....

as many of you know, i've been a director of an established ironmongery business in Cardiff....things have not been good for us of late.

There is a possibility that i'll be changing employment shortly, and quite honestly i'm scared....

Any stories etc to help me feel better?

:( really sorry it didnt pick up for you Styeffo and will possibly come to you having to go elsewhere.

Mines not nearly on the same scale, but I remember changing jobs totally - went from working as a Mortgage Admininstrator where I knew the job and the people inside out, to working as a PA for three directors - with no training whatsoever - didnt even have typing skills! - and just panicking... within a week I was trying to get back into mortgages and thought I had really messed up changing....

finally settled a month later when I realised that actually, I had moved to a place with great people who all showed me the ropes, made allowances for me, were a great laugh - and the boss who I thought was scarier than the worst nightmare ever, was actually the most loveliest boss ever and I cried when he eventually left!

I think you just have to realise, however, daunting it may seem, you may find something even better round the corner, or even if not better, its never going to be as bad as you imagine. Should the worst happen and you do hate it with no chance of changing your mind, you can change again - nothing is set in stone, just go out there and do it!

And best of luck to you whatever happens :hug:

Cheers Pebs.....i posted the same thread on Pitlane, and evryon there has been very supportive too.

Chin up, i guess....up and at 'em!

It will be hard to start with Styef but like Pebs says, you have to go out there and do it. I think when things like this happen it is good to try and think of it as a new beginning, new possibilities and new opportunities and experiences that are there for you to enjoy and make the most of. :D
I don't have any stories or experience with anything like this but I sincerely hope things work out for you matey. :ok:

i was once made unemployed and living with a guy who tried to kill me because i wouldnt sleep with him to pay the rent :( that was quite scary, but a month later i had a better job and he was sectioned :)

:yikes:

Liam! You have had some experiences, haven't you!!

I'd bet that of all of the posts of support for Styeffo, there's been nothing quite like yours!!

:blink:

awwww hun :hug:

Styeffo,

A change may well provide you with a bit of relief from trying to run something that may have been causing you a great deal of consternation over the last few months.

Also, some time out may be beneficial to help you to re-evaluate things, and focus your energies elsewhere. It sounds as if you deserve a break, if finances permit.

I have spoken to a couple of people recently who are wanting to change their careers. One is Italian. The other is French. Both of them said that in their countries, it is extremely difficult to change careers. They both live in the uk, and both observed that career changes are not only much easier, they seem to be viewed quite favourably. In fact, one of the biggest growth areas in the job market is people taking career breaks. There are also people who assist with career changes, but I think that they are a little expensive, and might tell you what you know already.

Anyway, the UK in general is apparently a very good environment to enable you to do something different. If you aren't sure what you would plan to do next, then taking some time out might give you the breathing space to assist you with this process. Just trust your gut feeling, back yourself to do well and see where it takes you. I am sure that things will work out well for you.

lol im not sure if it will cheer him up, but if ive learned anything its theres always someone worse off than you and every cloud has a silver lining. And that kind of philosophy equates a happy outlook :)

Liam it kinda cheered my up, but then i felt bad for you......

Thanks to everyone for their posts of support....i'll keep ya posted.

:ok:

I'm becoming physically drained.....just served about 8 people 1 after the other and didn't have any items for any of them....:(

I've been lucky and so far (fingers crossed) have avoided too many major scary set-backs.

From the few I've had I have learned that the most scary thing of all is uncertainty, not knowing what the future holds.

I found it helped to sit down, work out what I am good at (not much) and what I like (not much work-related), and what I would therefore want to go for. Then it is absolutely crucial to make a little plan and to start doing something, however small, towards that. That helps to start and puncture the balloon of uncertainty and life (hopefully) becomes less frightening. There's no assurance that your 'action-plan' will lead you down the road you first thought of, but that hopefully is because as you get a bit happier about having a plan etc. the scary unknown becomes populated with more palatable (even exciting) possibilities and opportunities.

The biggest and most scary step is the first one - which is in fact a lot smaller than you think - but you also have to keep on going.

roflmao Sorry but the matter fo fact delivery of that was just comic genius :D

You poor thing though. You don't half have some stories :D

Sorry to hear that Styeffo :(

The pospect of change is a scary one at time especially where employment is concerned as much more depends on that than say changing your social arrangments. I have to say that in my experience of changing jobs, which I have done a lot, change can be a good thing or a bad thing but you are not going to know until you try it out. My story is a mixed bag but I really have no regrets in my decisions to change jobs.

I worked in customs for 8 years, I hated it and my heart was not in it. I took a huge risk, I virtually pushed them to sack me on medical grounds cos I got money for that and I also decided that fi that wa smy life then I wanted to leave ti behind. I worked for nothign for 6 months and got involved in advocacy and disability rights work. I managed to get a paid job soon after and loved it. So rewarding and much more me. My boss was great, and so inspirational. He was paralysed form the waist and used a wheelchair. He coudl hardly use his hands either, but was a great role model for people including myself, you know as in how people can triumph over adversity and that disability doesn't mean inability. Things were going great, and then he went into hospital. I was stood photcopying his stuff one day and this woman walked in and told me he had died, just like that. He was only in his 50s. Gutting. :(

Anyway next thing was that we got a new boss. Sadly she had always hated him and as I was kind of his protoge as it were and he was very supportive of my ideas and work, she decided to start having pops at me. She changed my job, my contract and basically got on my wick. I found a new job again after 2 years in that one, and was so impressed with myself for gettign a much better job as a researches/project worker for a large well known disability organisiation that I cried in the loo at the induction day and had to redo all my make up in a hurry! roflmao Problem was though this job was just not turning out liek the contract said. I was travelling all over the country in a fancy car and giving talks and stuff, but I felt something was wrong. All my team complained about the project manager's incompetence, as did most of our partners, so she was looking for scapegoats and to dump part of the project off that was the hardest to pull off. Guess who had that part of the project? Moi! I had soem medical issues at the time and they knew about them. They said they'd support me but they didn;t, they went out of their way to make me struggle at work and then when I was forced to compain abotu this they fired me for something I did not do. I blame dmyself for ages and got depressed, but then I realised that there had bene a hidden agenda and I was gonna get sacked regardless as someone had to go. They sacked another too not long after. I got some compnesation cos I had a tribunal case. I've not worked much since cos they won't provide a full reference for me and I'm also not allowed to reveal what happened to a new employer as I signed a legal agreement.

Now this may sound depressing in some ways but it's reality and I still do not regret the cahnges of jobs I made. In each one I grew as a person, gained more experience and had some good times. I met some amazing people, some assholes too I dare say, but I learnt a lot about myself and my strengths and I certainly learned how to fight my corner. I've also learnt from experience and know exactly what to look out for next time and when I finally do move I'm going to either start something myself or get in as a volunteer and then hopefully pick up a paid advocacy job again. I'm lucky that I don't need to work right now, but then I have gathered a bit of money from my past jobs so if anyone ever criticises me for that I can tell them that I worked hard and went through a lot to be in this position so I will bloody well enjoy it. :ok:

Make the change, develop yourself, go for it I say. And if it goes wrong, scrape yourself off the floor and start over. :)

I forgot to mention -

My sister hated her job in a factory. She got an office job but never fitted in. She started selling second hand clothes, records etc. at a flea market. She opened a shop, then closed that and got a prime position in a trendy market selling her hand made jewellery and other stuff. She made money, then she hit problems. She declared herself bankrupt, went back to basics, buying and sellign second hand stuff. She did markets, the net, scooter fairs (she specialises in 60s scooter stuff) and has made a good living. She now has another shop and it is doing really well. :)

My mum changed jobs at age 55. She'd been in a sewing factory since leaving school mainly, interspersed with bar, shop and cinema work . She was made redundant. She works for the NHS as a theatre assistant now and she loves it. She was terrified at her age pushing 60 and all, but she says she wished she had the confidence to change jobs 30 years ago as her job is so much better. :)

that was about 10 years ago now. i did get up to some stuff when i was younger :blush: this guy Andy was a right fruit cake though. at one point he said he was going to kill himself and leave me the flat, not knowing that i knew the landlord :rolleyes: he also said he had muscular dystrophy, but i think that was just for sympathy, his muscles felt quite strong when he was strangling me :blink: i heard a rumour a couple of years later he had killed himself, which wouldnt surprise me

No offence Liam but those two posts made me crack up roflmao

Oh dear :( He obviously had problems Liam, but it's not nice to be on the receiving end I know. I lived with this bloke who was really nice at first then turned out to be a complete and utter psycho. He nearly killed me once, had it not been for my ex (who was a housemate at the time) I might have been a gonner. He's th eone whose stereo I upset, but as far as I am concerned that was nothing compared to what he did to me.












.

im glad someone can laugh at my misery :( roflmao

roflmao

Hey I need to know - do you need me to add up yesterdays' predictions? I can start it now but I don't wann if you have already doen it.

Thanks for your posts folks........

NEW BEGINNINGS

Each chapter that is ending
Leads us to a new beginning
The past that we are leaving
Means a future we are winning

Each change that fills the present
Sets the stage for our tomorrow
And how we meet each challenge
Helps determine joy or sorrow

In every new beginning
Spirit plays a vital part
We must approach tomorrow
With a strong and steady heart

So as we turn the corner
Let's all apprehension shed
And fill our hearts with confidence
As we proceed ahead.


I'm getting all philosophical

:hug: Change and fear of the unknown is always scrary Styeffo - 9 times out of 10 it's never as bad as you thought it was!

About 15 years ago I got into a lot of debt (when the mortgage rate went up to 16% etc) and I could no longer afford to live in my property because it went up so much and, I had just been made redundant and took a job that was less money (just to get some money in). Anyway, it took me months but I had to admit that I couldn't afford to live there anymore, so I rented my property out and went to live in a bedsit!! Believe me, living in a bedsit in Ilford was so much different to living in a house in Chigwell. I had nightmares about it days before I had to move out of my lovely little house.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I did move into the bedsit and rented out my property. It wasn't pleasant at first and it took me a while to get used to it, but once I got used to it I had a ball! I had more money, I paid off all my debts, went on 5 holidays a year etc, etc. Eventually, after four years, I moved back into my property, refurnished and redecorated it with all the money I had saved and I'm still here and also I found a better job. So it wasn't as bad as I pictured in my head it would be!

I hope that helps you Styeffo .... Us humans adapt very easily, if we want to. You will find something else and it won't be as bad as you had envisaged it will be.

Good Luck and let us know. :kiss2:

Cheers QJ..

It's not aboyut changing jobs but I can tell you of a time when I was completely scared about changing school.

A few years back i lived on Cyprus for a 1 year and the year after it I was going to Eton, The international school in Cyprus was tiny, only about 15 people in each year and it was day school etc and so the thought of going to a school with 260 other people in my year was rather daunting and the idea of boarding was also rather scary.....All I can say is that change is scary or exciting and often both but it happens and most of the time it's a good thing....


Okay so my story doesn't quite fall into the same dramatic category as others but I just thought I'd share it with folks and Styeffo I hope that whatever you do that it;s a success :ok:

hey Stef :hug:
on the subject of changing careers and scariness, I guess I can't imagine your situation too well, but did have some career changes sort of thrust on me and I have to say each time it's turned out well.

I studied and trained as a microbiologist and had 6 great years working in the NHS in London and the SE. After getting married, I decided that the 8K pay packet really wasn't sufficient and looked around in the commercial sector and started a new life as a sales rep - now that was scary and I never really felt comfortable although I stuck it for 5 years before taking on a managerial role running our training department. Again, a change in direction and again scary, but I absolutely loved my job after getting used to the added responsibility.

The company was then sold and my positon whilst necessary, was not 'acceptable' to our new bosses and I was downgraded, so time to move on.

Fortunately a position was available to me, still in training, in the same company, but in Germany. That was a biggy, but we bit the bullet (Mrs Lex was pissed off with nursing then anyway and wanted a change) we sold up and emigrated. We didn't speak the language, only knew work colleagues as acquaintances so had no friends over here to speak of, no family and initially I was in a bedsit whilst Mrs Lex looked after selling the house in the UK.

It worked out and things were going well until the powers that be decided to close the training dept where I was a European training manager. There was a position waiting for me as a training manager in our Microbiology Department but then I was given the opportunity to change direction completely and work in Web Communications in Marketing. Another scary change which meant commuting to Frankfurt daily and learning new skills and meeting different challenges. That job metamorphosed into my current role which is big but I do enjoy it even though I do moan to my chums about it on occasion.

I'm currently working through another bit of a life changer, but as Liam said, there are always folks worse off.

Stef mate, there's a book called 'Who Moved My Cheese' which deals with how you react to change

amazon link

it takes about 20 minutes to read but does help.

All the very best mate. I hope everyone's experiences here show you there is a better life around the corner, it's up to you to turn the corner though.

:hug:

Do turn the corner. It is not always rosy as sone might say, but you have to turn it or else you'll be blown round it adn that will be worse. So do it nonetheless and if things don't work out , turn again.

Sorry if this sounds harsh and nto ideal and a bit scary, but in reality change is scary and it doesn't always lead to a utopia either. Sometimes it is a mistake, but if you have to contemplate change and like yourself don't have much choice, then you have to get on with it. I'm just beign real because when I changed jobs, everyone told em that ti woudl eb great, perfect etc. and it wasn't. But that is life and you have to take the rough with the smooth and you can keep changing.

Onwards and all the best styeffo :hug: