Speculation about why another couple split up, neither of whom you know, is odious..... so here we go.

Some papers seem to be trying to turn it into another PR disaster for the Royal Family - i.e. Kate (or or mother more like) is said to have been thought to be too common. I have no idea whether there is anything in that - I hope to goodness not.

The Sun is saying that Kate was ready for commitment, but William is not yet.

Who knows? I can only speak from personal experience. I married in my 30's after spending my 20's drifting around neither knowing what I wanted, nor making any real effort to find out. A little bit of me wishes that I had pulled my finger out earlier. I know that is silly because I would never have met my wife earlier, so it has all turned out for the good, but it is still a thought that intrigues me from time to time.

I never managed a relationship of more than 1 year in my 20's (once I had decided that marriage was not on the cards I would bail out). I was always rather impressed by the 'maturity' of those who did (or what looked like maturity). I hope that (if they don't get back together) William does not look back on Kate with regret later as a diamond that slipped through his fingers. The press have started drawing comparisons with Charles who did not go for Camilla when he was younger.

We talk about greater maturity being an advantage for marriage in your 30's - but there is also the opposite point that when you are younger you are less set in your ways and have more of an opportunity to develop and mature together through the relationship provided you are prepared to make the effort.

Any thoughts?

BTW - Kate is absolutely gorgeous IMHO, and mrs. star agrees

This is very true. Furthermore, I feel like people often separate from one another because they can't handle the projection of their dark side their partner sooner or later mirrors (and of course this works both ways as we all have a "dark" side).

Going through those difficult moments and coming out of the tunnel a better person is what life is all about in my view.

All this is easier said than done of course.

I often heard that Kate carried herself immaculately within the Royal Family, and was a most suitable partner for William. The strong impression is that he wasn't ready to settle down, and perhaps too many distractions when away from her. Maybe they just simply grew apart, as people certainly can do in those younger years. I look back and see how much I changed even as late at 40, when I finally gained far more confidence and changed enormously. I believe if I had been married for a while at that time, my different outlook to life would most certainly have caused a break up. Does seem such a shame though and she is certainly a beautiful woman and I wish them both well. I do hope that Will isn't seen on the arm of another woman too soon.

I guess people who get together young have a chance to develop and mature together, BUT equally they have more time to grow apart, and of course get bored with each other. I have almost been married a couple of times, all I can say is thank God I never went through with it cos I'd be a couple of times divorced by now, seriously. I've changed an awful lot over 20 years or so, and could not have been with either of those men now. I wasn't old enough to settle down even though I thought I was when I got engaged, but that was only cos I had not seen enough of life to realise that there was more to it than settling down to be married with kids. I've also declined getting engaged 3 times - I am not committment phobic but it did not feel right for me. I guess it works for some people getting married young, but I would strongly advise any young person against it, divorce is a messy affiar and really is there any need to be married so quickly espeically in this day and age? I've been with my partner 10 years now, we have a ups and downs like everyone else, neither of us wants to get married and we'd be no better off if we had IMO.

You are damned right though that if you go through these traumas of breakups, you do come through the tunnel at the end a more rounded and experienced person. I've had soem rough break ups, but I'm glad they happened back then cos then when you are older you feel stronger for it and realise ti isnt; the end of the world. In fact me and my partner broke up about 8 years ago, but got back together in the end despite us both seeing different people after the break up. We both realised that we weren't that badly off afterall then! roflmao

Reading these posts one is reminded that the relationship game is horses for courses - there is no one size fits all.

The miserable pain of a break-up (or other general love-related angst) is sometimes a good reminder of what it means to feel alive. I remember in particular one appalling muddle I got into after a long period of drifting aimlessly towards the iceberg (which was clearly visible at all times) and, whilst I found it extremely painful, in a way I was grateful for being dragged out of my torpor.

The story of my life is that it takes a really good kick up the arse to get me into gear - which makes me a little worried as my present inactivity suggests that I am due one soon...
:unsure:

Good post, I know what you mean Barrystar. Sadly I have often needed to get in a mess and have a kick up the arse to get me into gear too. Still, at least those of us that can cope with all of that and move on are made of strong stuff. Maybe we are not ambitious of disciplined enough, and unable to plan and stick to it, I dont; know :shrug: Sometimes I think if onyl I'd done this that or the other I'd have been more sucessful, but then if everything is so planned out and disciplined and responsible, we miss out on the experiences we get when life just takes it's natural course. The unexpected is fun, I like surprises. Obviously I was never cut out for matrimonial and family responsibility, but I might get married when I'm 60! :D

Hope you dont; get too much of a nasty kick up the arse though and fall out with your lovely missus :) .

I think we look for a person to make us happy in the modern era, we've over romanticised love and it can never make us complete in the way we imagine.
What we expect from love and relationships now can never be realised-so they increasingly break down, unless you die while still in the first flush of love like Romeo and Juliet

roflmao Sorry Bt, that just cracked me up!

You are right though, people these days seem to expect far too much from relationships really. If you look for one to make you complete then you shoudl see a psychologist as you have something missing. I've made that mistake but never again.

I'll give everyoen the best piece of advice I can possibyl give, and I am serious -

Better to be lonely in your own company than in someone elses. Anyoen who has been there will understand. And you've gotta be happy with yourself and your own company before you can be happy with another person. :)

:blink:

must be hard to get on with stuff when you know you've got that coming...

Two very good posts.. :ok:

Barrystar, I can relate to the inactivity observation.. :unsure: Might be worth subsituting 'kick up the arse' for 'wheels of change being put in motion' and go with the flow with how things pan out.. As SB so wisely stated.. ! :hug:

I'm rarely described as wise so i'll make the most of that one petalp :D

Definitely dine out on that one SB.. besides I'm sure that I merely beat Dav or dl to saying that!! ;)

Seriously, though, I think that you're bang on the money with what you are saying.. :D

I'm not worried about falling out with mrs. star - not at all, but petalp is right that a self-induced escape from the present bout of torpor is likely to be better than whatever else may happen....

I am beating all previous procrastination records too..

Why thank you Petalp :D think Dav and dl think I'm a total nutter, but they are probably right! I think it takes a few years of your life to work this stuff out - you've heard the old agage

"if I knew at 20 what I now know at 40 I'd have done things differently "?

Well in many ways it would have helped to know such things at 20, I'm sure we'd all be in a better position etc. I could certainyl have avoided a few scrapes and made better career and life choices. Thing is though, me at 20 - woudl I have listened? No I bloody wouldn't! roflmao

There are pros and cons to having things sorted early on, or later. Thing is though it is better to settle into life later in soem ways than too early before you are ready. I often feel for these 'lucky' kids who have it all mapped out from a young age. Good education, career. marriage, family and then suddenly everything collapses and bang ...... must be hard. :(

Slightly obscure but I like this quote and find it fitting

"the world is your oyster but your future's a clam".

Depressing or what? roflmao

Personally, I dont know why we are fussing about these peoples love lives, we should have followed the french's footsteps. Then again it would turn this country into the european 3rd world.