Some of the finest double entendres on British TV & Radio: :D


MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's just come in his shorts." :o :blink:

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself." roflmao

MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets." :o

JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now." :yikes:

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night." :whistle:

WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off.

CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this." roflmao roflmao roflmao

JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions." :blink:

CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live
said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao

US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!" :o

Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." :D

Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew." :rolleyes:

Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother." roflmao

New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

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Oh my god! Laughing my head off a bit too loud in the office! roflmao

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I loved those Sam and Mr Pebs has just had a giggle as I have been reading them out to him!

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Thanks for posting them Sam :D

could make a carry on film with those roflmao roflmao roflmao

OMG roflmao Love the one about the snatch and the 69! roflmao

I saw an out take of a newsreader making a mistake with his speech. Instead of saying "I'm reporting to you from the Kent Countryside" he said the C*** Kentryside! roflmao

:blink: :blink:

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I bet he never lived that down!

Quality post. Copy and paste will be used!

quality post! from me??? :o

*faints*

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Sounds like a few of these invoved 'paste' too :rolleyes: roflmao

It does happen now and again Sam! roflmao

Just remember, it's a cold night tonight, there's nothing better than a nice hot saugase inside you...


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Looks like hot dogs tonite then! roflmao

Btw George is obsessed with sausages, he keeps going on about running a hot dog shop called Jumbo Georges. He's got ' the Full 12ins' and the "reality Dog", the latter is about 3 inches long. roflmao

I don't know if anyone remembers Fanny Craddock making doughnuts on either Blue Peter or Swap Shop? There was a comment made that caused the cameraman to laugh so much that he couldn't keep the camera still!! roflmao

I don't recall the specific incident but we used to laugh at the fact that they were called Fanny and Johnny - those words were hilarious in the 80s roflmao

Well.. she was making doughnuts, and the presenter said: "If you write to this address then you can get the recipe so that you can make doughnuts shaped just like Fanny's"

The cameraman just lost it with that one! The fact that the camera was shaking as a result made it even funnier.. roflmao

OMG! roflmao roflmao roflmao

I like this one!!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/fivelive/sport/bestcommentary/


Click on the link next to the commentary in first place in this list to listen to it.. ;) I remember actually listening to this when it was on air! Made me chuckle back then and still does now :)

there's always the classic cricket commentary..

The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willie

I like the one that came second!!! :D :D :D

There was a similar ' leg over' one in snooker . ;)
Plus of course the 'For those of you wathcing in black and white, the yellow is beside the white'