Merry Christmas Day everyone - these CRACKED me up!!! They're a bit old and they're all British-based but soooooo good!

Funny Quotes by tennis commentators

Chris Lloyd came out of the dressing room like a pistol
Virginia Wade

Strangely enough, Kathy Jordan is getting to the net first, which she always does
Fred Perry

Ann's got to take her nerve by the horns
Virgina Wade

Lloyd did what he achieved with that shot
Jack Bannister

Diane - keeping her head beautifully on her shoulders
Ann Jones

That shot he's got to obliterate from his mind a little bit
Mark Cox

And here's Zivojinovic, six foot six inches tall and fourteen pounds ten ounces
Dan Maskell

Zivojinovic seems to be able to pull the big bullet out of the top drawer
Mike Ingham

If she gets the jitters now, then she isn't the great champion that she is
Max Robertson

McEnroe has got to sit down and work out where he stands
Fred Perry

Martina, she's got several layers of steel out there like a cat with nine lives
Viginia Wade

Chip Hooper is such a big man that it is sometimes difficult to see where he is on the court
Mark Cox

Those two volleys, really could be the story of this match summed up at the end of it
Barry Davies

He's got his hands on his knees and holds his head in despair
Peter Jones

The Gullikson twins here. An interesting pair, both from Wisconsin.
Dan Maskell

These ball boys are marvellous. You don't even notice them. There's a left handed one over there. I noticed him earlier.
Max Robertson

...and when Chrissie is playing well I always feel that she is playing well
Anne Jones.

It's quite clear that Virginia Wade is thriving on the pressure now that the pressure on her to do well is off
Harry Carpenter

When Martina is tense it helps her relax
Dan Maskell

We haven't had any more rain since it stopped raining
Harry Carpenter

Lendl has remained throughout as calm as the proverbial iceberg
Dan Maskell

Billie Jean King, with the look on her face that says she can't beieve it... because she never believes it, and yet, somehow, I think she does
Maz Robertson

You can almost hear the silence as they battle it out
Dan Maskell

This is the third week the fish seem to be getting away from British tennis players
Gerald Williams

Strawberries, cream and champers flowed like hot cakes
Radio 2

She comes from a tennis playing family. Her father's a dentist
BBC 2.

roflmao More gems from Dan Maskell :

' Leaps for the volley, springing on those McEnroe legs'

'Connors , a fine figure of a man'

'Gerulaitis has beatiful golden hair '

It's not the same at Wimby without Dam Maskell though, however funny people say he was.

Sam smith made me chuckle in Rome last year whilst commentating on mYskina vs Vinci.........

' myskina has cracked the Vinci code'

roflmao

roflmao roflmao roflmao

No, Dan was part of the whole atmosphere.
I remember one thing in particular. The first time I ever saw McEnroe , I thought he looked like a spoilt brat. Turns out I was right ! But ten minutes later he very clearly called a linesman an F---- B@44488D .He got a slow handclap from the crowd and Maskell just said calmly, 'Well noone had a right to say a thing like that.'