• I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
• I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me.
• Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
• You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
• BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
• I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
• Earth first...we'll mind the other planets later.
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
• God must love stupid people, he made so many.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
• I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
• It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
• I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
• Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself.
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
• CAT----- The Other White Meat
• Beer----- The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon
• I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed-----What More Do You Want?
• Remember My Name------You'll Be Screaming It Later.
• Jesus loves you. Everybody else thinks you're an ass.

Preserve wildlife, pickle a squirrel.

I saw one around here that said:


Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing it's idiot.

roflmao roflmao My village is missing an idiot, but i will be moving back next month ;)

ha ha, there are some good ones there, some which relate to me B)

The last one on Lex's list, perhaps? :lol:

:ok:
One of my favourite one-liners (never seen it yet as a bumper sticker though):

'What do you think I am, a F-----g people person ? ' ;)

a gay friend had a badge which said 'how dare you presume I am heterosexual'

A few which i've stolen from Dilbert (not bumper stickers, but good one-liners nonetheless!!)

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

Am i getting smart with you? How would you know?

I'd explain it to you, but oyur brain would explode.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.