I have fun with these, so I thought I'd bring it over to this board. Here's the latest one I posted on the BBC board:


The Beeb folks decided one day.
Let's let tennis fans have their own say.
So they started a board
Which attracted a horde
Obsessed with discussing "Who's gay?"

There was a young boy called James,
He'll liked having fun and games,
He played on a road,
Was ready to implode,
And that was the end of James

a bit shit, but never mind

"There was a young girl called Maria
the boys were so happy to see her
In her sexy short skirt
She looked such a flirt
and also had quite a nice rear!

(That one's for Ms Kirilenko btw )" BarbieDetonate

Yay

There once was a girl called Svetlana,
She liked the occasional banana,
She ate them over and over,
More than Hantuchova,
And ended up being just fine

There was one boy called Hiro,
Who was no real Hero,
He was constantly depressed,
And usually was messed.

There needs 2 be another line Hiro

OK,

There was this lad called Hiro,
Who was no real hero,
He was bashed everyday,
And one beautiful day in May,
He slapped a boy in the face,
And made it to number 10 in the indesit race.

Here's mine from the BBC

Nadal thought his choice of pants wise
Until they brought tears to his eyes
Whilst running on court
The fabric stretched taught
And his new balls came out of his flies :o

There was a young player called Murray
Who seemed to be in a great hurry
To finish his game
Before the cramps came
And before he could throw up his curry! roflmao

This is not tennis related. Nick may tell me off ofr this one, but it's the best one I ever did so I must post it:

A young man from Teddington Lock
Turned his genitals into a clock
When it struck nine
His b******s would chime
And a cuckoo shot out of his c***!

Sorry! roflmao

The player Janick Noah
Was known as a bit of a goer
He'd bend his gender
In stockings and suspenders
Blonde wig and a pink feather boa :D
Sorry guys, no bearing on Noah himself ....

The was young man called Paul
Who tried to stretch his small b***
He was rushed of to casualty
With a huge abnormality
And came out with no b***s at all roflmao

That outrageous dresser Hrbaty
Was refused entry to a party
Due to fashion faux pas
And told he should wear a bra
As that pink see through shirt was too tarty!

Alright, I'll be serious now ;)

There once a poster called SB
She was as mad as a brush, you see
She often broke the law
And was prone to drawing the dole
But she'll always be a **** to me

roflmao

hey that doesn;t rhyme though! roflmao

Mines a tad rude.
I posted on the BEEB yesterday.
Sorry in advance!

There was once a no-hoper called Henman
We thought he would win at least one slam
He managed a few semi's
and I don't mean at tennis
Cos Lucy has now got no hymen.

:)

Here's one for my favourite poster :D

There was a young p called Dav
Who was scruffy and dressed like a chav
In the pub he stole dosh
But he got a free wash
When the victim shoved his head down the lav!

roflmao

The loverly Miss Sharapova
Was champ once, when Wimby was ova.
She since hasn't won
But remains number one
With many a young Cassanova.

Oh, I'm not sure that's the version I heard earlier is it? :unsure:

Close enough. :halo:

Yeah, whatever :D

Or was it


. . . .
Some say she's screamy
But mostly she's dreamy
To many a young Cassanova.


???

The marketable Miss Sharapova
Could soon find her tennis career is over
With endorsements so many
To bring in the pennies
She may end up the next Kournikova

:halo: :halo: :halo:

Oooh let me think ...... :unsure:

You know, I'm not convinced - there was a very distinctive word that i can;t quite recall! :D

Our tourney would love to have Hingis
For all the good fans she would bring us.
"If you pay the right sum
You can get me to come
Either that or some good _________"


Hmm. I can't seem to find the right rhyme :whistle:

Tut, tut! :o

MODS!!! Use some :admin: and remove this disgusting fiend! :ban:

roflmao

What?? :shrug:

Think we know where you were heading.... roflmao :halo: :halo: roflmao

I was being cheeky as usual! Now you don't think I wa soffended really do you? :D

There was a yound man called Dl
Who had the most beautiful smell
Sb tried to tempt him away
But he was vamos's anyday
Until the b**tard ran off with a man called mel!

Random, but who cares roflmao

roflmao roflmao Only dl!

Thanks for the vote in the awards thread btw :hug:

roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao

dl, you're a nutter! I love it, in fact I have just seen it whilst on the phone to my doctor's and I started laughing half way throught the conversation and had to hang up! they will think I am a right wierdo noW! roflmao

roflmao Only i could do that really couldnt i?

you're welcome BTW :hug:

Oh yeah, cos they thought you were normal before roflmao

Beat me too it Dav! roflmao roflmao

They're probably thinking ' that deranged woman's phoning again! '

roflmao roflmao

I know dl! roflmao

They're probably thinking, 'oh, what's wrong with her now?' roflmao

You pair are so cheeky you are! But that's what they proabbaly think anyway! I just called them back, but go tsomeone else on the phone so it wasnt; so bad!

There was a larged arsed arsed man called Maxie
Who liked to travel by taxi
Till he found a back seat
So hard and petite
That he got it stuck right up his jacksy!

There was young man form South Harrow
With a d*** the size of a marrow
He won several prizes
For his thing of huge sizes
Which he wheeled about in a barrow! :D

roflmao

Murraymount,

Behemoth! Imbecile! Filth merchant!
How dare thee mocketh ze emperor!
Well may thou bluff, and jeer my fellow,
but we both knowest, when ze fog clears,
only ze artiste, victorious shall emerge.

Many years a devotee of ze humble art,
not now, perchance, to be denied,
by some ruffian and scallywag,
some haggis munching, deviant tart!
from some dreadful hillybilly moor,
in ze hills of a nation insignificant, Scotland.

Ah! Let battle commence!
Unsheath thy racket thou petulant pup!
Thou cannot perturb ze Grosjean;
to ze bowels of hell with thee!


Guess who wrote this? ;) Not really a limerick though :blink: