Q: Do Vampire’s hunt animals like lycanthrope’s do?
A: I haven’t met a vampire yet who’s tried it. They’re perfectly content with feeding off of humans.
Q: All of them?
A: Yes, that’s what I said. All of them. Are you dense?
Q: There’s not even the possibility of—
A: Fine, whatever, it’s possible that there are vampires who feed off of animals. But if you meet one please do send them my way. I’d like to see it for myself. If you also find one who isn’t an asshole, I’d like to meet them too.
Q:
Well that’s a bit biased... Um, is it true that vampires can drain a whole person dry?
A: It’s not even physically possible. But I’m sure the buggers have tried it. The average stomach can only hold a pint, and that’s stretching it. There’s usually four to six pints in the average person’s system, so there’d be plenty of blood left over. Would the vampire let their victim bleed out? Maybe. They also share kills.
Q: Are they strong like lycanthropes? Are… you gritting your teeth?
A: Please refrain from comparing vampires to lycanthropes. It’s like comparing apples and bananas.
Q: Don’t you mean app—
A: Apples and bananas. Anyway they’re strong, fast... I saw a vampire flip a car completely over once. Some believe that they’re strong and fast. Personally, I believe their strength is in their speed.
Q: Care to explain?
A: If someone lobs a football at your face, it isn’t going to hurt very much. But if someone shoots one out of a bazooka and it hits you going 100 miles and hour… well then you’re royally screwed.
Q: Vampires can move up to 100 miles and hour?!?!
A: No… but they are quite fast.
Q: Like lycanthropes? Okay, sorry… Do they have other enhanced abilities?
A: Yes, their hearing and smell is amplified. They can also see in the dark and all that jazz. And in the dark, kind of like a cat’s, their eyes glow.
Q: Glow?
A: …Yes, glow. Vampires…. And lycanthropes have a membrane on the back of their eyes. It increases the amount of light that the eye absorbs and light is also reflected off of it. Its one of the sure fire ways to finding out whether someone is a vampire or lycanthrope. Many knowledged police officers wave their flashlight at the eyes of suspicious persons. If their eyes glow, they know to stay away. If only every cop knew that, right?
Q: Since they can be killed by regular methods and can’t drain a body themselves, are all of the myths untrue?
Q: Can they go out in the sunlight?
A: Technically they can, but thank goodness they don’t. The sun is like one gigantic nuclear bomb to them. If they go out they get insanely burned.
Q: How?
A: Hmm… it’s like… Gamma burns. First their skin will burn but eventually if they stay out in the sun for a day or so they’ll be cooked alive. Though there aren’t any vampires known to have died this way. They’re very careful about exposure to sunlight…
Q: Why are you laughing?
A: A few sad saps tried to develop a tolerance to sunlight.
Q: What happened?
A: They died of cancer. It was quite gruesome. There were tumors and such everywhere.
Q: Are they fine with regular indoor lighting?
A: Most are. And by most I mean 99.9%. There are a few, from old blood, usually in result of slight inbreeding that are sensitive to all forms of light. They are the palest of the pale and are often seen wearing all white.
Q: How does one become a vampire?
A: By being bitten of course. But not every person bitten by a vampire becomes one. They have to salivary glands. One contains the genetic virus. Sometimes the secondary gland is activated by accident. Some vampires don’t even know they have it. Most, if any, turning is done by an experienced vampire or Coven member.
Q: Do you know much about the Coven?
A: Every coven is different but the one in Aldenville is specifically unique. There is one Coven leader and five coven masters. The masters answer to one leader. Its almost militaristic in a sense. Usually any position of power is held by someone who was born a vampires.
Q: How can you be born a vampires. Aren’t they the living dead?
A: Not in the slightest. Because vampires live longer lives than lycanthropes they don’t reproduce as often. A vampiric child will seem very much human, with a slight sensitivity to sunlight, then after they hit puberty the virus will activate. Then their aging slows and all of that boring nonsense.
Q: How slowly do they age?
A: Twenty years slower than lycanthropes. So they get really old and really rich. Any other questions?
Q: They
really can’t go out into the sun?
A: Come here. No, I mean lean in, really close. And never repeat what I say to you, to anyone. If so, there’d be an all out war. I’ve only heard whispers, when I’d been allowed to study ancient vampires. But some of the remaining families of old blood seem to believe that feeding on lycanthrope blood could allow them to temporarily go out into the sunlight.
Q: You sound disgusted. Is this why you hate them so much?
A: Yes I’m disgusted, and I hate them because they’re disgusting creatures, spawned from the bosom of Satan himself.
Q: They can’t all be bad.
A: Like I said, if you find one, I’d like to meet them.
Q: You don’t really think they come from Hell, do you?
Q Where do you think these genetic viruses came from? … Hello?
A: …aliens. Stop laughing.