Sitting at her desk at ten thirty at night wasn’t where Leah wanted to be. In fact, she wanted to go a long ride tonight, but her stomach and her shift weren’t agreeing with her. The jaguar felt a foul taste rise up in her mouth but quickly spit it out into her trash can. She didn’t need this. After being ripped to shreds by that big ass mother fucker, she really didn’t need to get sick again. Her eyes started focusing in and out, blurring and making Leah’s head spin. She gritted her teeth then and set her fists on her desk, tightening them to help her regain control over her body and its reaction. She ground her teeth harder together and felt the pencil in her hand snap in half. She could feel every muscle in her back begin to shiver while she fought to hold her control. The jaguar couldn’t do this, not here, not now. Leah felt a hand touch her shoulder and a voice speak to her, “Hey Gibson… you okay?”

With that, Leah knocked her chair back and got up, running for the bathroom. She pushed her way through the door and nearly got there in time to vomit into the toilet bowl. The bile just kept rising and spilling from her mouth. She hugged the porcelain throne until finally her vision stopped swimming. The jaguar stayed put, hearing the three men at the open door. They argued amongst themselves until a woman pushed her way through and knelt next to Leah, “Hey sweetie… Are you okay?” Leah shook her head slowly to keep from getting dizzy again. The woman rubbed the detective’s back until Leah released the toilet. “I’m gonna go talk to the big guy and I’ll see if I can get someone to take you home.”

The feline slowly sat back on her legs, putting her hands on her thighs while she caught her breath. This wouldn’t be good. She needed to get to the pack house and soon. Leah slowly put a hand on the wall and got up onto her feet. She felt her body sway a little more but she closed her eyes, trying to concentrate and get her balance. The detective then gritted her teeth once more and started to hobble her way toward the doorway, letting two guys take her arms over their shoulders.

It wasn’t really a secret about why Leah had transferred here. She’d had a nasty run in with a mountain lion and didn’t want to be anywhere near that place anymore. Or at least, that was the translated version. In all reality, Leah had come here to learn more from the local “pack.” She was going to learn how to keep her inner beast under control, how to regulate her shifts and everything else she needed to know to exist without being discovered.

Leah then found a cup of water in her hands and began to drink it down, swallowing each precious cool mouthful. Her body felt like it was burning up. She needed to get out before they wanted to take her to the hospital. She looked around while a few of her coworkers discussed whether or not they should take her home or the hospital, whether someone should stay with her or whether or not this was just out of their control. The feline didn’t have the time for this. She very slowly and silently rose from the chair they’d sat her in and began to make her way for the back doors. She needed to get out and on the road to the pack house.

She made her way to the locker room, opening her locker and emptying it of her essentials: wallet, keys and jacket. Her body moved slowly and smoothly through the police station until she got to the back doors where she exited quietly and made her way as steadily as she could to her motorcycle, she needed to get out of here and she needed to get out now.

”I think she’s losing it.” A voice crackled over the speaker on Frederick’s cell phone. He rarely used it and for some reason he got the most horrible signal in the city.

”Do you think she’ll Change there?” Frederick asked, a knot forming in his gut. He had received an anonymous call just a few weeks before Leah arrived. It was a simple message. The cat was coming and she was seeking sanctuary. He wasn’t entirely sure how specific the caller was being because he doubted she was seeking any sort of sanctuary. If Frederick had his mind right, she was seeking guidance.

”They’re bringing her out of the bathroom now.”

”Make sure she doesn’t leave,” Frederick ordered and disconnected the call. The caller was not a lycanthrope, but a human informant. Freddie rarely trusted those that weren’t of his kind, but he needed eyes in the station. John Alden kept contact with the alpha, but he only revealed information when it was convenient for him to let the alpha know.

He was only a few blocks away from the station, but red lights and stop signs were his enemy. He knew none of his other pack mates would even obey the traffic regulators. Frederick breaks the law regularly, and stopping at red lights and stop signs, to him, evens out his karma. Just a few more minutes. He needed a few more minutes. The vibration of his phone made his knot tighten.

”Yes?” he asked, answering the call.

”…she’s gone.”

Frederick didn’t bother vocalizing his frustration. The “End” button on his phone made that quite apparent. His foot pressed a little harder on the gas than the speed limit requested. She couldn’t get too far. Either way, he’d find her. The city wasn’t the best of places for a newly turned lycanthrope to change, and adjust.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL!!

Frederick’s tires screamed as his car fought the pavement and tried to pick up friction. The squeal fluctuated as he yanked the wheel and spun the car into a parking space. Opening the door to his Charger he picked up her scent instantly. One would think the smell of burning rubber would confuse his senses, but it didn’t. Closing the door, he walked toward the building, where a few officers were chatting outside and sending glances in his direction. He kept walking past the officers and down the alley, where he smelled Leah. She was parked around back, and wobbling toward her motorcycle.

”Leah Gibson?” he asked, though he was sure he was right. She was the only feline and female around for blocks.

Slipping out the back doors was no problem. Most cops parked their cars in the parking lot, where as Leah’s motorcycle didn’t need that space and was much better off being hidden behind the station than anywhere else. She’d had her bike stolen only a few times, but after last time, she’d never take a chance like that again. The cop wouldn’t dream of walking home in this town, this town that was drowning in supernatural creatures. If a place so empty as Montana had monster creatures like herself, how many would a city the size of Aldenville have? Leah didn’t know and didn’t want to think about it. In fact, she just wanted to find that pack house now and find out if she had anyone she could go to for help. Help, that’s what the feline needed right now and she had to get out of this alley to find it. At least, that’s what she thought.

Leah was almost to her bike when she heard a voice call out her name. Her stomach wretched when the feline turned her head to see who had said her name and fell against the nearest wall while her stomach heaved up the water she’d just drank. Her vision began to get sparse and her sense of smell died away with it. Her body was just completely going haywire, providing bursts of each sense. The next one was hearing, the treading footsteps were getting closer and Leah’s paranoia grew rapidly. She didn’t know who was coming, only that they were getting closer and she was practically immobile. She needed something, anything right now to gain her footing. Her fingers clenched the brick wall of the alley and she pulled herself up so she could lean against it.

Her eyesight was still blurred and darkening. She couldn’t tell who was approaching her, but her other senses were alerting her that who ever dared keep coming near to her was like her. A canine scent filled her nostrils and she felt her nose burn with the smell. Of course, she didn’t know that it was canine, only that it was foreign and not human. She wasn’t going to risk it. The detective struggled to catch her breath and spoke through ragged breathes, “Don’t come near me… I’ll fucking shoot you. I swear to fucking god, I’ll do it.”

A fumbling hand reached into her jacket, but her fingers were useless. Her hand merely slapped at the holster while her legs gave out and Leah sank down against the wall. She fought to catch her breath and regain control. Her skin was burning up and her body was beginning to ache all over. This was it. She had to either regain control or change. Her torso fell forward onto her hands and the cop held herself up while pain wracked her body. She felt her stomach heave again and felt it empty the last of its contents in front of her.

“Oh God… please, help me…” The woman kept her head down, trying to keep control and then lifted her eyes to meet the man before her’s, pleading now with all that she had, “Please… Help me...”

Frederick barely faltered when she threatened to shoot him. She was bluffing. Or not… Frederick determined when her hand slapped at her holster in a frantic attempt to defend herself.

“Shh,” Frederick said, an attempt to keep her pain quiet. It was useless, of course but somehow it made him feel better about the whole situation. The vomit stung his nose, but didn’t deter him away from his course. She was most definitely losing it, and he couldn’t imagine himself dragging a cat twice his size back to his car in front of the police station.

”If I help, you’re not going to shoot me are you?” Frederick asked, mirth filling his purple eyes. Now was hardly the time to be joking, but she needed to calm down. If Frederick wasn’t calm, it’d be hell trying to get her to calm. He didn’t wait for an answer because his question was both rhetorical and sarcastic.

“You need to calm down,” he told her, though he knew she was well aware of what she needed to do. Placing a calm palm on her back he crouched next to her. Then she lifted her painfully fierce eyes to his and he seemed to be yanked back in time. On a night very much like this he was calming the fiery Miakoda Halfheart.

”Shhh, shhh,” he cooed. One could assume that Frederick Johannes had done this several times. Each time was a risk. More than once he received a claw to the face, and only once did he receive a daughter. His hands stroked her appropriately and pulled her hair this way and that out of her face and from her neck. The heat must be killing her, he could feel it wafting toward him in waves.

His eyes left her for a moment and he took in their surroundings. He could hear people everywhere, but none of their attentions were directed to the pair in the alley. That wouldn’t last for long. Anyone happening upon them would take Frederick for a kidnapper or rapist so he needed to get himself out of such a compromising position. A stranger comforting a sick woman in an alley was not chivalrous in Aldenville. At least that’s what living in the city has led the general populous to assume.

”Can you stand?” he asked. ”Do I need to carry you?”

Time was running out.

Clinging to her body now, Leah gasped for air. It was getting harder and harder. Her breath was getting ragged and strained; it wouldn’t be much longer now. The feline dug her nails into her ribs, trying to contain what was trying to break free from her. No, she had to focus. Pain wasn’t something she was unaccustomed to. Why should this pain be any different? Her eyes clenched shut as her body shivered and trembled from all its changes and reactions. She could do this, she could. It was just a matter of mind over body. Leah was more than capable of blocking out pain. After all, she’d done it before.

Her ears caught sound of a sarcastic voice, but she didn’t respond. It was probably rhetorical anyway. The shushing noises brought her back. The cop could feel her body finally starting to adapt. This was it. Her senses began to solidify back into their normal state and the pain wracking her was starting to dull away. She had this. Leah could even feel a reassuring hand on her back, slowly coaxing her into a relaxed state. Her muscles began to still, shivering only occasionally while her breathing started to steady out. The woman was taking control back slowly but surely.

The only thing that refused to cease was the heat. Leah’s skin still felt red hot, just burning up from within. Her muscles and senses she could control. Her pulse and temperature were entirely different matters. The jaguar leaned against the man next to her and murmured softly, “It hurts.” She said it simply, not wanting to really waste her breath when it was searing her throat to speak. Leah gritted her teeth though and gripped the wall next to her and slowly tried to stand. This was taking too long really.

Leah let out a pained grunt once she was on her feet and still leaned against the wall for support. She hadn’t the slightest clue who the man next to her was; only that he wanted to help. Good enough for her. The feline looked to him pleadingly, not really wanting to ask him for help, but she knew she needed it.

Frederick stood and tried to look patient for nearly two seconds before he grabbed her and scooped her into his arms. They were running out of time.

”It won’t always,” Frederick assured her as he turned his face away from her. She was burning up and in pain. Her brain would either boil or a very agitated feline would erupt in his arms. He sprinted, easily to the end of the alley and let her legs reunite with the earth. Out of the corner of his eye he could see other officers, switching shifts, chatting, whatever it was they were doing.

He made an earnest attempt at making it look like he was struggling with her weight, even though he barely let her feet touch the ground.

”Everything will be fine, soon enough,” Frederick said, though he wasn’t entirely sure of that. He had a way with saying things with such conviction even if he didn’t believe it in the slightest.

Don’t look guilty. Don’t look guilty, he repeated to himself as they “hobbled” to his still running car. He figured that he looked innocent enough because no one tried to stop him from putting the detective into his car. Gently closing her door he jogged around and hopped into the driver’s seat. Now within the safety of the car Leah could scream, writhe, and cry all she wanted. He’d prefer it if she didn’t change, he’d have to reupholster it then, but she really wasn’t in any shape to wait.

”Do you think you’ll be alright until we get out of the city? Frederick asked. By then they were pealing down the road and onto the highway out of the city. It wasn’t exactly a highway, but it was the only major road in and out of the city to and from the suburbs and park.

”I’m Frederick Johannes. Sorry for my delayed introduction,” he said after a few moments. He quickly reached over and put on her seatbelt. For some reason that small bit of protection put him at ease. It would more than likely come off soon. After clearing his throat and attempting not to blush he kept his gaze away from the pained woman beside him. Normally his next statement would be greeted by indifference and action, but it was usually said to those who had spent years upon years transforming into wild beasts.

”Uh,” he started, pausing to clear his throat again. ”You might want to take off your gun… and your clothes.”

As Leah felt her feet leave the ground, the feline sighed. She could hardly hold her own weight right now and being carried helped her breathe a little easier. She relaxed against his chest, keeping her body as still as she could aside from her muscle spasms. Leah knew if she could just hold it off for a little longer, she would be fine. It wasn’t really uncommon for the feline to fend off changing. It was a long and painful process and one she didn’t like going through. That and her body was always so tired and sore afterwards.

Then her feet barely touched the ground. Sensible, she supposed, no need to draw unwanted attention. In fact, Leah didn’t want any attention on her right now. Not while her body was so out of control and her mind racing. No, she didn’t want anyone to know that she wasn’t normal anymore. The feline didn’t want to be the one to crack open to the world their existence. So, Leah didn’t resist this new man helping her into his car or him driving her away, no reason to. If he was just some lunatic, he was about to get his. If not, well, he’d better know what he was doing.

As the car started to speed away, he asked her if she could wait and well, Leah thought she could hold it off. She nodded her head and gripped the door to find a hold on reality. Her eyes closed tight while her mind tried to keep calm, but everything was still happening within her, just a slower rate. Her temperature on the other hand was still climbing. The cop bit down on her lip and arched against her seat belt then, feeling her gut wrench. Her breathing started to pick up again and she tried to steady it back out. Her nose took in quick breathes and exhaled them just as quick.

A thought occurred to her then, this man knew what she was and knew she was here. She didn’t want to open her eyes just yet and let him introduce himself and then nodded her head at his apology as if that was to say, “Don’t worry about it.”

However, hearing the man talk about her removing her gun and clothing, made Leah open her eyes. She looked at him for a minute and bit harder onto her lip. Her hand released the door and quickly went to work on taking off her jacket, her gun holster and her shirt. That left her in a white wifebeater and her jeans still. Her eyes closed then feeling a stab of pain in her back. She let out a cry and lurched forward, feeling her back trying to rearrange itself. Leah doubled over, holding her body tight and whispered softly, “Faster.”

There was no way they’d be able to make it to Buckley. The pedal was pressed as far as it could go and his car roared with delight, never going so fast before. He felt like a frantic father driving his wife to the maternity ward. A sad pang ran through Frederick when he realized that this might be a close to that situation as they could get. Well, he couldn’t speak for Leah. He however, would undoubtedly spend the rest of his life proving to his pack brothers that his father had not made the wrong choice.

”I’m pulling over,” he told her. They were far enough out. The road had already branched away from the suburbs. So it was either Buckley, or onward. Both destinations were too far regardless. His engine wined as he slowed the vehicle. The roughness of the shoulder where he pulled off made the car jolt and he finally looked back to the Detective.

”Come on,” he said as he turned on his hazard lights and withdrew his keys. Seconds later he was pulling her out of the passenger side. An old bike trail, slightly overgrown and neglected called to them from the roadside. Scooping her up yet again he sprinted a few yards into the tree line before letting her down.

There were a million things he wanted to say to her. And there were a million more things he wanted to teach her. But there was no way for him to do that in that instant. He could only guide her for the moment.

”Relax. I know its easier said than done, but relax,” he instructed, stepping away from her. He unbuttoned the cuffs of his sleeve as he squatted, and waited. ”Your body already knows what to do. Don’t resist it and don’t will it. It’ll only hurt for a moment,” he said, again not sure of his words. Usually going with the flow helped, but he didn’t know what type of pain Leah was feeling, or if it would subside quickly after her change.

Leah felt every body start to contort and made a sickened face, trying to hold everything back and control herself. Her body was searing at this point, her entire skin just aflame. She cried out again when she felt hands pull her from the car and out into an overgrowth of foliage. Her body was twisting and turning at this point. Again, she arched out her back, her body still trying to contort and Leah trying to prevent it. She felt her skin touch the cool ground, but the comfort was temporary as the bones in her hands began to crunch. The cop laid there on the ground, writhing and churning against the earth.

Her mind began surging then pulling every bit of information she’d ever heard, learned, found or ever come across. It was trying to find a way to reason through this, but it wasn’t any use. Then her senses began to go haywire again and the feline cried out, tears beginning to stream down her face from all the agony she was in.

A voice then broke through then, telling her she had to just relax and let it take her. What? Relax and just let it happen? Leah then felt her spine crunch again and let out another cry. She had to relax. Her mind was surging and her pain was excruciating and what she needed to do was relax? The detective dug her hands into the ground, gripping the hard soil in her palms until she had a hold on her mind. C’mon, relax. She drew upon her old memories like walking down long country roads with her mom, running through the hay fields and reading books under old shady trees.

With that, Leah threw her head back, letting out a roar as her body contorted and fur covered her skin. She felt every limb slide perfectly into place and every muscle take its appropriate place and size. She gritted her teeth as a tail broke from her new pine and with her last moments of transformation, she tore away her clothing with her new claws.

The jaguar collapsed onto the ground then, lying there trying to recover. Her brown eyes looked up at the man who’d brought her here. Leah would have to remember to thank him and ask if she could some how repay him. She’d had to do that, but right now, her whole body was just strained. The best thing she could do now was rest. Then those grateful eyes closed slowly, only her shivering muscles stilling now. With that, Leah fell unconscious.

Frederick fought the urge to sit by her, and comfort her even in her unconscious state. It wasn’t his place or right to. He didn’t know her in any way other than her rescue and a few phone calls.

He waited for a few minutes, pacing with his hands in his pockets. When paranoia began to creep up on him he took it upon himself to drag the feline further into the woods. He resumed his pacing and found himself climbing into a tree, waiting for her revival. There in that tree he watched her, making sure her breathing never changed and her heart beat stayed even.

There wasn’t much else he could do. He’d Change too if she still didn’t need some sort of guidance. He’d like nothing more than to run at the moment, chase a rabbit, something. But he had his pack and his duties to attend to. His duty now was this feline, and he was so wound up that he just couldn’t sit still anymore.

He leapt from the tree and began to explore the surrounding wood. He hummed a bit to himself, to ease his worry and boredom. He would trudge back to where he left the feline just to ease his mind. He’d be able to tell if she woke, even if he weren’t there.

[Horrible post, I know, but I promise awesomeness on Monday!]

There hidden by the underbrush, Leah rested. She slept awake all her aches and sickness as her feline form. As she recovered her breathing regulated and muscles finally stilled. She was no longer plagued by the pains of not changing, but reaping the benefits of changing. The jaguar knew she should have regular schedule for changing instead of putting it off until her inner cat could no longer take being cage in her human state. It was a dangerous situation and truly, Leah was lucky that Fredrick had come to her aid. If he hadn’t, Leah could’ve risked exposing their world and would probably be caged in a testing facility. That prospect wasn’t exactly too pleasing to her. She could barely handle controlling her changes. What would she do if she was being forced in and out of her transformations?

Luckily, she wouldn’t have to contemplate it much. The jaguar’s eyes slowly opened and her vision was in perfect clarity. The big cat’s eyes darted to and fro, taking in her surroundings before she lifted her spotted head to further scout out her position. Leah didn’t recognize her location and slowly stood up on all fours to move about the underbrush. Her nose went to the ground, seeking out a scent. She found it. The same foreign and harsh scent that had struck her in the alley way filled her nose. Silently, she slipped through the foliage until she came upon a tree. The feline looked at her paws and then followed the scent up into the tree, climbing with her new claws until she’d reached the same perch Fredrick had taken.

Leah found the branch quite appealing actually and took a moment to lay her new lithe body on the rough branch. She relaxed, letting her tail dangled down and sway with anticipation. Maybe she should continue on. It was rather obvious that Fredrick had jumped from here, but why? The tree was just so… comfy. The jaguar yawned again, letting out a tired sound as she laid down her head on her paws, watching the ground below.

Adjusting to this form wasn’t really all that hard for Leah. She knew there would be bumpy roads for her and her largest one happened to be getting used to Changing. That was going to take some time and guidance. Time she had a plethora of, guidance… Well, that she was hoping to get from Fredrick and the Pack. Hopefully, someone would find it wise to help teach her. After all, Leah really didn’t want to be the one to expose an entire race that had successfully hidden itself since the dawn of its existence. Yeah, Leah definitely didn’t want to be that person.

Movement far off from Frederick’s current position let him know the feline was finally awake. He headed back in her direction, letting his bare feet slide ever so slightly on the floor of dry leaves. He had long since shucked his shoes and socks in an effort to make his exploring easier. He also rolled his pant legs just above his ankles to save them from being ruined. Normally he wouldn’t bother with clothe and would run about in his wild inner self, but as usual work was to be done.

Now he could actually observe the feline, and figure out how to help her. It was going to be extremely tough within the first few months to keep her well adjusted, especially given her profession. She was one of the few law enforcers who stayed after being turned.

“I gather that you’re feeling better,” he said as he followed her scent into the tree he had occupied earlier. As much as he’d like to sit and allow her to explore in her new form, he wish to speak with her. So when he spoke next it was with caution.

”Do you think you’ll be able to Change back,” he asked, his eye upturned at her lounging form. ”I swear it’d only be for a moment.” A lot of convincing had to be done when denying a feline its time to prowl. If not, the Change back would be just as painful.

This wasn’t so bad, Leah decided. Lounging in trees was hardly something that she didn’t want to do. In fact, a lot of her childhood had been spent around trees and in them. Her new body enjoyed it. It felt like it was more… at home in a tree. The jaguar was growing to take pleasure in her time as this new being. She was so much more fluid as a beast than she could every hope to be as a human. The rough bark beneath her didn’t even feel rough against her furred belly. Her head felt heavy though, like it wasn’t ready just yet to be held up. Perhaps her body was still making adjustments.

Then a voice entered the picture and Leah practically fell out of the tree in surprise, clinging to it with her newfound claws while the other half of her body hung from the branch. Well, she didn’t need to go looking for Fredrick now as he had found her and successfully frightened her almost out of the tree. The jaguar took a moment to pull itself back into the tree, clinging tightly and trying to lift itself only to drop to the ground; still not coordinated completely. Leah landed on her hind end and let out a sad mew. The jaguar slowly got itself into a sitting position and sat before the alpha of the pack, ashamed.

So, she’d made a small mistake of grace on her part. That couldn’t be too bad on the lycan scale, hopefully. The jaguar was comfortable with her form, not a master of it. Then Fredrick mentioned to the effect of her changing back. Change back? Leah wasn’t really sure she could pull that one off. …Well, why not try? The feline slipped away from her little shame pedestal in front of the alpha and slipped into the underbrush. Her body was already aching, but there were matters at hand that needed to be taken care of.

With a determination, Leah laid her feline body down on the ground and tried to will her body back into shape. C’mon, she’d done this before, she could do it again. The jaguar stretched out its form feeling her fur slowly disappear, revealing soft, warm pink skin. She gritted her teeth and felt the pain rise again as her muscles fought against her. The woman willed it though and harder. She felt her joints pop and realign and her tail vanish back into her body along with all the larger aspects of her feline body. It was only a few minutes later that Leah found her sweating human body completed in the bush.

The cop caught her breath before she slowly stood up and spoke, “Um… Mind if I borrow your shirt?”

Frederick allowed the smallest of entertained smiles as he plucked his shirt from his form and handed it over to Leah.

”Changing at will isn’t the easiest of things, not at first,” he said, his eyes reading that he was impressed. Leaning against a tree he spoke again. ”Then again, I guess being forced into it isn’t a picnic either.”

Crossing his arms over his bare chest he sighed, waiting until she put on his shirt to resume speaking. He didn’t want to give her a speech, they had plenty of time, but he could feel the word jumbling in the back of his throat. They were all fighting to get out and he could only coax them back. Recently Frederick lost his patience rather quickly. He had no reason not to be patient with the detective, so he waited.

”It’ll hurt for a while,” he told her. ”It’s because your mind doesn’t understand that its not exactly in pain. You’ve got to trick yourself. You’ve got to tell yourself that Changing doesn’t hurt. Then its—“ he paused and snapped his fingers, the sharp sound contrasting his silent voice and general silence in the surrounding wood.

”Easy as pie.” Yeesh, he sounded like an annoying public service announcement from the fifties. Whenever he would say something of the sort Eleanor would shake her head and tell him that his grey was showing.

”Do you think it will be hard to tell everyone you got food poisoning and a neighbor came to get you?” Frederick asked. That was the downside of being a lycan in today’s world. To keep a secret, you’ve got to lie, lie, lie…