I have to write an essay 500 words-700 words about someone who inspires you.
I have ever shown my work but her it goes. I would appreciate to know what you think. Please be truthful. However, I'm not finished.

Miss Inspiration

There are many people in the world that can inspire you, in many different ways. People could inspire you to buy something, act a certain way, change your looks and appearances, how you think of yourself and others, and many more.
We would think of inspiration as people affecting other people’s lives. We would expect people to make a huge impact on other people. However, you can inspire someone else just by being yourself. You don’t need to try to be something, or someone your not. You don’t need to change how you look, or how you go about your usual routine.
For example, teachers try to inspire their students about different subjects. They try different methods of trying to get their students interested. Yes, sometimes a different method to approach a situation will work. But, in this case being yourself could be more interesting to your students than being someone else. Therefore, they will be able to learn better if you are your-self. They like you just the way you are; without saying it.

The person who inspires me the most is Miss Smith. She was a teacher at Tarrant County College, CFK, summer program for kids. She taught from Monday through Thursday, a class called Creative Writing.
After reading the description of the course, I decided I would like to take that class. From then on, I had a wonderful experience. Besides, all the fun we had of playing charades, telephone, and other games involving writing.
For example, writing for a newspaper with so many details was enjoying. We had wrote part of a story with a specific topic, and passed our piece to the next person. We also had learned how to apply for a job, and had time to write some of our own stories, individually.

Is the underline part correct?

Will anyone post their opinion? Please????

Hi Smark99

This is a nice piece, and I agree with you completly that people can be inspiring without realising it.

As a piece of writing I have a couple of things to point out. You need to look closely at you grammer and sentance strucure.

You don’t need to try to be something, or someone your not.

should be:

You don’t need to try to be something, or someone you're not.

and

We had wrote part of a story with a specific topic, and passed our piece to the next person.

should be:

We had written part of a story with a specific topic, and passed our piece to the next person.

I would also read though yout sentance structure - some of the seperate sentances could be joined and some commas taken out.

With the part that you've underlined, I think it's pretty much grammatically correct, but it might read better written as:

She taught a creative Writng class Monday to Thursday. or something similar.

This is a nice start and a well thought out topic, you just need to make sure the grammer is there.

Good job :D

Edit: That was too harsh. I don't do "constructive" criticism well. My teachers all kicked my ass too hard. SmartK99, if you want a breakdown of the entire thing, PM me.

Sounds good, SmartK99, but I would have to agree with Aleana's comments about sentence structure. I was always taught that we shouldn't start a sentence with 'but', and 'therefore' tends to only work on longer sentences (though this may just be my opinion). Also, your sentence "Besides, all the fun..." feels like it's building to something, rather than forming a seperate sentence.