beta'd by aleana15 - i apologise again for ANOTHER stargate atlantis fic


Chapter 1
Carson collected a tray and grabbed his lunch, only to be confronted with a choice; sit by Rodney McKay, the one person he had come to realised he was lusting after these past few months, or his on/off girlfriend, Laura Cadman. He sighed and walked over to the latter’s table.

“Hello love.”

“Carson, how are ya?”

“I’m good thank you Laura.”

Across the room Rodney glanced up from a file and caught Carson’s glance, who stiffened slightly but continued to talk with Laura Cadman. Rodney went back to reading his file though his mind was still fixed upon Carson. The doctor’s presence had been increasingly distracting though Rodney knew nothing would come of it.

Carson was with Laura. A twinge of anger surged every time he thought of her; the way she’d controlled his body and used it for her own pleasure, to mess things up with Katie Brown and to show her feelings for Carson in ‘his’ body. Rodney shivered at that thought but moved it into the corner of his mind. He finished his meal and quickly left the couple to their lunch. Carson caught the scientist leaving out of the corner of his eye and his heart sank, but he showed no emotion on the surface… this was going to get difficult, yet he continued to try and listen to Cadman’s story, nodding in all the right places. It was a skill he’d learnt quickly.

X X X X

Everyone bustled in through the many doors of the briefing room to watch Dr Carson Beckett’s presentation on a drug to make the Wraith humans. As always Radek and Rodney were the last ones to enter and Elizabeth rolled her eyes as they came through.

“Come now Elizabeth you should understand Radek and I are very important around here and will be late to these things,” Rodney said bluntly as he raised his hands towards the screen. All Dr. Weir could do was sigh and began the presentation.

“Now that everyone is here,” she began, making a point of glancing towards the scientists, who were taking their seats, “Dr. Beckett has made a step further towards our plan of trying to change the Wraith into a less fearful population of beings.”

Carson rose from his seat and moved to the front where the screen was. “Thankya’ Elizabeth. As you’re aware, after Col. Sheppard’s unfortunate experience, we discovered the insect DNA that is related to the Wraith. With the research I gathered off Hoff I have been able to isolate the specific DNA sequence triplets in the Wraith DNA.”

Rodney was only half concentrating on Carson and his ideas. The rest of him was doodling small zedpm’s on his paper. The sound of Carson’s voice echoed in his mind, as it grew louder.

“We are able, or I’m hopeful at least, that we can mutate the genes or even repress them. This in turn would cause the Wraith to revert to their human nature.”

Teyla’s expression became concerned. “Dr. Beckett may I ask what will happen to them once they have reverted to human form?”

“They would be monitored and may need to have a booster to stop the reversion process from breaking down and them becoming Wraith again.”

Rodney cleared his voice, “And would they have knowledge that they were once Wraith or not? Where would they stay? Can’t keep them on Atlantis like cattle, perhaps a local planet?”

“McKay you feeling alright, you sound like you have sympathy for them?” John quipped from the other end of the table. Rodney stiffened his back and was about to begin his defence, except Teyla responded instead.

“Dr. McKay has a valid point. Would we still treat them like an enemy or our prisoners? They would need to live a life with freedom surely?”

“Teyla they’re Wraith! Why do they need freedom?” John questioned.

Before Teyla could reply Rodney answered for her. “Because they would be technically human when we are finished manipulating their genes and finished treating them like low life! How much of a god would you like to be Sheppard?” he snarled. He looked at Carson and Elizabeth before he continued his tirade.

“As much as it delights you to play God Colonel, after making them human how easy will it to be to integrate them with ‘real’ humans? Don’t you think people will be wary of them; that a lack of bonding and friendship would occur? They will feel like outsiders battling to get into the ‘in’ crowd, searching for acceptance.” Rodney gasped for breath. He noticed everyone in the room was staring at him, making him even more uncomfortable.

“Rodney are you well? I’ve never seen you so passionate about anything other than zpm’s?” Elizabeth cautiously asked. Rodney wasn’t sure if she was serious or had just spent too much time around Sheppard.

“I’m sorry to disappoint Elizabeth. Well if this is the response I get from my constructive ideas then I will just go.” With that Rodney pushed his chair back, grabbed his work and stormed out. The briefing room doors opened politely for him, leaving Carson to watch him disappear down the corridor before looking round the room at the equally surprised faces of Elizabeth and the rest of the team.

Carson knew immediately he had to find out what was wrong. “Excuse me,” he said apologetically to the room before he too left via the doors. He followed the trail of irritated people, always a good indicator that Rodney McKay had been through.

He arrived at the lab to see the door slid shut just ahead of him. He entered the room to find a lonely scientist muttering while staring at their computer

“McKay hasn’t come through here has he?”

“Oh Dr. Beckett no sorry,” the man replied as he looked up from the screen, “although he has devised a way of making the lab door open and close on its own… try his quarters,” he suggested hopefully when he saw the doctor’s face fall. “Ummm Dr. Beckett,” he added quickly as Carson turned to leave, “it might not be anything but he has been more quiet recently and that is worse than a loud McKay. But please don’t tell him that or I’ll never live again!”

Carson chuckled and nodded, “Aye lad I won’t say a thing. Thank you again.” Carson retreated from the lab and continued his way to Rodney’s quarters. He knocked twice but when he heard nothing he slid his palm over the panel to open the door and stepped inside.
Looking around the room he saw Rodney’s doctorates hung proudly on the wall; Carson sniggered slightly when he saw the photograph of Rodney’s smirk in a photo of him holding his PHD. But there was something Carson noticed about the photo, something that Rodney normally hid: his eyes. Behind the protective glass they were bright and glistening, full of life and achievement. Carson continued to look for Rodney and found him on the balcony. When Rodney turned to see who was there, Carson noted that his eyes dim and shaded.

“Rodney are you alright?”

Rodney seemed to try and ignore him by turning back to the ocean

“Just fine,” he said eventually. “Why are you here Carson?”

“I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“Well I am so you can get back to your meeting.”

Carson stepped closer. “Rodney please, ya can talk to me as a friend or as your doctor.”

Rodney turned and leaned against the railings. He sighed as he folded his arms across his chest. “Carson what gives us the right to mess with the genetic make-up of the Wraith? As the Wraith we can kill them because they want to suck every last drop of nutrients, but we have our humanity, right? If they’re humans are you or the others willing to kill them like before?”

Carson was utterly confused. “Where has this come from? I thought you of all people would want to stop the Wraith from killing any of us.”

“But at what expense? We’re not God Carson, we did it before and look where that got us, half a population dead, remember? Perna died for nothing.”

Carson suddenly seared with anger and slapped Rodney. “Don’t you dare! Don’t you think I ever forget her and that planet! It haunts me everyday. That’s why everything needs to be planned meticulously before going ahead.” Carson walked a few paces away from Rodney. “It would only be one Wraith in the beginning, to see the effects and then take it from there,” he reasoned. “There may be too many problems for the idea to be successful anyway… He paused his explanation as he realised this was Rodney’s way of keeping the conversation away from the true matter. “Rodney you’ve never behaved like this before, what’s changed?” he pressed again.

Rodney held his cheek, which burned from Carson’s slap and the thought of his touch.

“Nothing…” he said, though not convincingly. “I have…thought I had…I wanted to, but here there is always some kind of problem so we end up screwing morals. I’ve just had enough of it. But then when does anyone care what I think? As long as I can pull off some brilliant scheme to save the crew here then people will tolerate me.” He sighed again and rubbed his temples. “I can’t help wishing I could call you, or anyone here, friends, but I can’t can I? When’s my birthday? The name of my cat? My sister’s name? My favourite sci-fi show?”

Carson smiled, not the reaction Rodney was expecting at all. “April 18th 1968, Jeannie is your sister, Dr Who and I’m sorry but I don’t recall you telling me your cat’s name.”

Rodney just looked stunned and straightened himself slightly against the railings. “You listened to me?” he said quietly.

“Of course I have,” Carson said, trying to suppress a blush he could feel forming on his cheeks. “But Rodney, when did this become you believing you have no friends from talking about reverting Wraith to humans?”

Rodney’s quiet nature changed like an impending storm. “This has nothing to do with me does it? You’re more concerned that I’m going to cause trouble for the experiment with Elizabeth isn’t it? Because I don’t like the idea you’re trying to win me over!”

Carson’s face paled and Rodney’s body chilled from the winds that rushed over the balcony. He quickly moved back inside not wanting to look at Carson anymore, but the doctor followed. “Och Rodney what are ye talking about? You’ve never been fond of the Wraith yet now you seem to want them to stay Wraith. As for me, how could you expect me to be that smug?”

“Carson just leave me alone!”

“Rodney please, I don’t see how one briefing can make you so angry and bitter! I’m sorry that you can’t see me as a friend, although your glances recently say a lot more than friendship.”

Rodney looked up from the floor; his pinked cheeks tingled from the thought of Carson’s small and firm hand against his skin. But he wasn’t going to admit his feelings that easily. “Glances? What glances?” he shot back, “Carson you’re talking nonsense now. Just leave me alone and go and do your experiment.” Rodney walked to the door and opened it. He stood there with arms folded until Carson finally got the hint and left.

After Carson had left, Rodney stared around his room looking for something to comfort him. Again he rubbed his cheek, even though the tingling sensation had since stopped. Rodney checked in the mirror for any permanent marks, but there wasn’t. He moved to his bed and threw his earpiece towards his desk and just watched as it skimmed off onto the hard floor. He delved deeper into today’s events and they made him shudder involuntarily. Shaking his head he lay on his bed, rolling on his side and hoping that sleep would take away all the emotions that were flowing through him.

tup you know the drill beta'd by aleana15

Chapter 2

Back in Elizabeth’s office, Dr. Weir sat with John, Teyla and Ronon, waiting for Carson to return.
“Does anyone know the reason for Rodney’s outburst? As a member of your team I’m sure you would have noticed a change in him.”

“McKay hasn’t been his usual self certainly,” Teyla offered. “The comments have been fewer and his bickering with Colonel Sheppard has stopped.”

Then the doors opened and Carson rushed in. “I’m sorry Elizabeth but something has gotten to him, his emotions are rising and falling like a rollercoaster. I would like to keep an eye on him, maybe run some tests.”

Elizabeth nodded in agreement. “Carson, thank-you. For the time being I’ll restrict him to the base: no off-world expeditions until he sorts himself out. Maybe some sessions with Heightmeyer would be good for him. But for now we need to plan catching ourselves a Wraith,” she added.


Carson nodded and the team continued to plan the capture; although Carson was participating in the discussion his full attention wasn’t in the room. He knew this was an important mission, but to push aside Rodney’s problem wasn’t something Elizabeth normally did, unless she was under pressure from higher leaders in the SGC.

“Excuse me Elizabeth but I must say something.”

“Yes Carson.”

“All due respect, I know ya want to catch a Wraith and all, but we could do so much better if we had the final member of this team… Rodney McKay; we canna’ push him aside just because he’s against the idea.”

John Sheppard stared at the doctor, trying to see why he was questioning their motives. “Carson you can’t be serious, McKay is just missing the coffee or one of his scientists has proved him wrong; he’s fine, just being the usual McKay.”

“I’m so’ry but I disagree,” Carson said boldly. “Please excuse me, I’m gonna try again with him.” Without waiting for dismissal he left the room again, leaving the team a little shocked at his sudden flare of emotion. Carson shook slightly from the adrenaline that raced through his veins as he walked along the corridors, so he tried to focus on what he was going to say to Rodney. He was concentrating so much he hadn’t noticed that he’d pushed his way past Laura Cadman.

“Hey! Carson!”

Carson spun himself round and saw Laura. “Sorry I canna stop, I’ll see ya later,” he said apologetically as he rushed off, but Laura followed him, wanting to see what had made him so flustered. Soon, without Carson realising he was being followed, he reached Rodney’s door and, after a short hesitation, knocked. Laura simply sighed, she had better things to do then watch those two argue again, so she turned round and left them too it.

“Come in,” came a faint murmur from Rodney’s room.
Carson shuffled in slowly, seeing the lights brighten as he moved further inside the room.

“Rodney?” Carson stared at Rodney, who had curled himself into the foetal position on his bed. “Rodney, ya gonna complain of ya back if you stay like that much longer.”

Rodney tilted his head up to look at the doctor. “Hmmph?”

“Rodney please, I don’t want ya moaning to my staff about your back, they’re threatening to drug you one of these days!”

“Well it’s taken them this long to think of that! Why not just ask a soldier to kill me in friendly fire?” Rodney sulked.

“Och Rodney don’t say that.” Carson edged forward to the bed and sat down. Rodney rolled himself over and uncurled, but as he did a few vertebrae clicked and crunched and Carson could see from Rodney’s expression that he was in pain. Just as I warned him, Carson thought as Rodney sat up fully.

“Carson,” the scientist began, “I know I don’t say this often but, well, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you earlier.” He keep moving his eyes, unwilling, or unable, to meet his friend’s gaze.

Carson sighed. “Rodney you don’t have to; like I said before, I’m your friend and you can talk about anything to me. I just wish you could see how much trust you can have in me.”

Rodney sighed and gave a fake smile. “You’ve seen what happens when trust is involved,” he said, “I’ve disappointed Sheppard on more than one occasion and now, just for an opinion, it’s no longer counted. I know you mean well, but how do I know that I won’t disappoint you too?”

“Rodney you can’t worry about that. We all disappoint someone in our lifetime and we learn from it and move on. You haven’t done anything for me to be disappointed in you.”

“Not even when Laura made me kiss you?” Rodney’s face became flushed. “People didn’t stop talking about that for months.”

“Aye but Laura and I are together now and everyone’s forgotten about it… well a little.” McKay flinched when Carson mentioned Laura’s name and Carson saw the reaction. “You don’t like her do you?”

“Course I don’t! She one, implied that I can’t get a date; two, that I’ve never had a date with a woman; three, she made me run a near marathon; four, saw my body naked and, not forgetting; five, forced myself onto you, not just with the kiss but the flirting late at night as well.” Rodney blushed when he saw Carson gasp at the list.

“She saw you naked?” They both grew uncomfortable and blushed.

“She sleeps like it and so she made me sleep like it too; I woke up in her room. Sorry, I thought she would have told you.”

Carson shook his head. “She said she’d told me everything, that she wanted to be honest with me so I wouldn’t get mad at you for what you did.” He paused for a moment; his hand hovering over Rodney’s hand, before eventually placing it on top of the scientist’s. Rodney didn’t pull his hand away, though a look of confusion had created fine lines on his face.

“It’s all in the past,” Carson said gently, “and I would be grateful if you could help us devise a better plan to catch a Wraith. I know you’re not happy with it, but at least try, for the team’s sake.”

Rodney shook his head. “I won’t do it for them.” Carson sighed dejectedly but then he added, “Carson I’ll try for your sake. I can see how much this would help your research and I’ll stick by my … friend.” They both smiled, forgetting their hands interlocked, Carson’s on top of Rodney’s. When they remembered they both pulled away and blushed profusely.

“Can you give me a couple of minutes to change please?” Rodney said eventually to break the awkward silence. He moved to the bathroom with a new t-shirt and a blushing face to try and get rid of; he felt a tingling on his hand, similar to the feeling on his cheek from earlier, reliving the warmth of Carson’s touch.

“What plans do you have so far?” Rodney enquired, having to shout slightly over the running water.

“Tranquilisers, but they aren’t as effective as we would like. Perhaps we need a trap of some kind.”

“Can’t we catch one like we did Steve?”

“How’d you mean?”

“I’m sure I could rig a device similar to that of Teyla’s necklace, a beacon as such, and use the taser… oh wait no we have a Wraith stunner now, we can use one of them to take them down, bring them back and start the treatment ASAP.”

“Aye ya’ should put forward the idea to the others, I’m sure Elizabeth would agree.”

Rodney came out of the bathroom. “Let’s find out.”

Rodney walked the long corridors puffing his chest out slightly when anyone stared at him too long. He often side-looked at Carson and couldn’t help the smirk that formed on his lips and he turned his head to hide it from Carson. They finally reached Elizabeth’s office and Carson walked in first

“Elizabeth, Rodney has an idea that might…” Rodney coughed behind him and Carson corrected himself, “So’ry, an idea that will get us a Wraith.”

Elizabeth nodded. “And that is?” Carson stepped to the side to allow Rodney to speak to the others. Rodney shifted on his feet and his eyes moved from Elizabeth to Carson and back to the Elizabeth.

“Make a device similar to Teyla’s necklace, to lure the Wraith into a trap and use the Wraith stunner to knock out one of them to bring them back.”

Dr. Weir smiled in agreement. “That was an idea we had in mind. If you can help we would really appreciate it Rodney. Are you sure you can do this?”

Rodney darted a glare at Elizabeth. “It’s not a case of can; it is a case of want to!”

Carson interjected, “Rodney, I’d be so grateful if you built us that device so the plan can work.” Rodney blushed; Carson had managed again to use their attraction to one another to convince Rodney to help, whether he realised it or not. Rodney nodded and left again with no word.

“Are you sure he will do it Carson?” John Sheppard finally piped up.

“I have all confidence in him John and so should you. If ya’ll excuse me I have an infirmary to deal with.”

Everyone seemed to keep quiet around Rodney and he couldn’t quite shake the feeling of uneasiness between them away this just made him feel tense on his way to the lab, and the look of concern from Radek as he entered the lab increased only his nervousness.

“Radek.”

“McKay.”

“Do we still have the schematics for Teyla’s necklace?”

“Yes I believe we do.” Radek Zelenka rustled quickly through a CD case of discs and pulled the necessary one out, handing it straight to McKay.

“Thank-you. I think I’ll design this in my room. Thank-you again Radek.” Now he was even being polite to Zelenka? Rodney shook his head and rushed out the lab to the safety of his room and began to design the device.