Some Good Ones I found: (can't you tell I like Ambrose Bierce?Most are from him.)

-A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

-Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

-Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

-Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

-Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

-Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

-Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

-Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

-Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

-Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.

-Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

-To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

-A woman is like a tea bag. It's only when she's in hot water that you realize how strong she is.

-If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle.

-If it can't be fixed by duct tape or WD-40, it's a female problem.

- :D

Lol some of them are funny!

:lol:

:lol:

the only sayings that stick in my head is:
eagles may soar but weasles never get sucked into jet engines

and:

teamwork means never having to take the blame yourself

I like those...

I like Homer's philosophies:

- If something's hard to do, it's not worth doing at all.

- To alcohol, the cause of (and solution to) all of life's problems

- A woman is like a beer: they look good, they taste good, and you'd step on your own mother just to get one

*Bows down to Thought Fox* (for being the only other one so far to post a gender-related quote - :lol: )

Lol, yes the battle of the sexes rages on.

hehehe...

Battle of the sexes eh? Made me think of this:

From the Washington Post Style Invitational in which it was postulated that English has male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice, and explain their reason.
The best submissions:

Detective Novel -- f., because you're not supposed to peek at its end the minute you pick it up.

Swiss Army Knife -- m., because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

Kidneys -- f., because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

Penlight -- m., because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very bright.

Hammer -- m., because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years but it's handy to have around and is good for killing spiders.

Tire -- m., because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.

Hot air balloon -- m., because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it. And, of course, there's the hot air part.

Web page -- f., because it is always getting hit on.

Web page -- m., because you have to wait for it to reload.

Shoe -- m., because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

Copier -- f., because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

Magic 8 Ball -- m., because it gives monosyllabic answers that usually indicate it did not pay attention to your question.

Ziploc bags -- m., because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

Sponges -- f., because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

Critic -- f. What, this needs to be explained?

Subway -- m., because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.

Hourglass -- f., because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

^has the most interesting quotes so far... *laughs* (the ^ game is addictive)

very noce DL4and really quite random

Not really battle of the sexes related, but a couple of quotes to do with stupidity:

Artifical Intelligence will never match human stupidity.

Only two things are infinate; the universe and human stupidity. I'm not so sure about the universe.

And LOL! at the quotes my bro posted. Just... LOL!

^lol they're all v gd.
:)

LMAO to DL4's quotes!!

[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=blue]My own personal quotes to show you. The first from high school writing and the second from experiences.

Enemies are like a beautiful sunset -- they will always fade.

Hit me once, shame on you -- hit me twice, shame on me.

One from my manager, Sally:

May God grant you'll find a face you knew when all the world was young.

I think it basically means that when you die, hopefully you'll be able to find your loved one and spend eternity with them.