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Title: Random Thoughts
Description: From One-Liners


Lugana - April 2, 2006 07:47 AM (GMT)
A Series of Amusing Random Thoughts. Enjoy.


Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
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Some people are like Slinkies . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.
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According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman are their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
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In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

Three - April 2, 2006 06:56 PM (GMT)
Hmm... very interesting. I think I shall add some other thoughts for you to ponder...

1) does a see-ing eye dog count in the carpool lane?
2) what is a vision impared person doing driving?
3) can people who read braille be dislexic?
4) if pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?
5) what is the correlation of rodents to swine? (think about it, GuineaPIG, HAMster)
6) 5/4 people have trouble with percents.
7) how can people push their limits? If they reach past their limits then their limits are farther than what they have reached - so are people limitless or limited? :wacko: :lol:

The Thought Fox - April 16, 2006 11:37 AM (GMT)
How comes a fly flies, but and elephant don't elephant?

(junior, My wife and kids)

Three - April 16, 2006 07:56 PM (GMT)
1. Why are they called 'apart'ments if they're stuck together?

2. Why, when you are uncomfortable you are experiencing "discomfort" but when you are uneasy, you are not experiencing "disease"? ^_^

The Thought Fox - April 19, 2006 09:51 AM (GMT)
"You can be overwhelmed, you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?"

- 10 things i hate about you

aleana15 - April 20, 2006 09:59 AM (GMT)
I had a thought abit like that the other day. People say every year 'oh easter's late this year' or 'easter's really early'. Has Easter ever been on time?

Three - April 21, 2006 01:29 AM (GMT)
Exactly!

DragonLady4 - May 2, 2006 07:29 PM (GMT)
If the man who invented the Drawing Board made a mistake...
What would he have gone back to?

aine - June 10, 2006 06:02 PM (GMT)
...this isnt exactly a 'one liner' but it made me think :blink:
i mean ....have you ever wondered what it's like to be a banana? i mean REALLY wondered? no, i mean, have you ever sat there staring at one for weeks trying to imagine what it was feeling, and gone through hypnotism to try to experience believing you're a banana? have you ever spent months researching the cellular structure of the banana, comparing and contrasting charts and diagrams of it to endless human brainwave activity charts and graphs, desperately hoping to find the critical connection that would prove that bananas are the second smartest species on the planet, and not dolphins? have you ever REALLY wondered??
there...something for all of you to think about ^_^
I pOkE yOu WiTh My ChInEsE cHoPsTiCk oF dOoM wHeN yOu No LoOkInG
user posted image

The Thought Fox - June 11, 2006 10:04 PM (GMT)
Groan....just...groan....

And i think you'll find that the second most intelligent species on the planet are the mice that are controlling us as part of their experiment to find out the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything. :P

aine - June 12, 2006 11:38 AM (GMT)
what do you mean 'groan'? :huh: does my explanation not satisfy you......or sre you groaning because i'm BACK ;)
well i disagree.....i think that banana's are savage beasts, they wear disguises, appear in puffs of smoke and trip you up when your not looking :ph43r:
I pOkE yOu WiTh My ChInEsE cHoPsTiCk oF dOoM wHeN yOu No LoOkInG
user posted image

The Thought Fox - June 13, 2006 11:51 AM (GMT)
Lol, I was merely groaning at how strange that post it. Why stop at bananas? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a crouton?

aleana15 - June 13, 2006 01:46 PM (GMT)
soggy

Well if your a crouton in my cuboard anyway as I put them in soup, and they go soggy.

:P

The Thought Fox - June 20, 2006 02:53 PM (GMT)
ah, but what if you're a crouton on the pizza hut salad bar. You know not of your fate. You might go soggy when sprinkled ferociously on potato salad, or crushed between the teeth of some salad-allergic child.

....dear god, the madness is spreading.




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