And I stand next to your coffin with the tears and fears whispering to the tune of your silent heartbeat. They whisper the things that should have been, that would have been, and how its all my fault…
If only if I had been earlier, later, happier, more distort, less gripping, extra elevating maybe you wouldn’t be lying there now, but you are…
What would it be like if I had bravery to jump with you, what if I held you back, If I had just left without a word, what if there wasn’t a problem as big as the world on that certain day? My fears and tears take over me so many times, you’re the only ones I can trust now. I feel as low as that coffin, and wonder what it was I in there, how happy everyone else would be.

It was a cold day, it wasn’t meant to be, it was supposed to be a thousand degrees today. The wind swept past me, the wind has places to be as well you know. I gripped the little clothes I had left and let go my conscience. I kissed your tender lips with no thinking, your hazel eyes just pull me in, I might as well be inside you let alone lucky enough to be with you right now, your smile would captivate me and influence my crocodile grin. I closed my ears and played deaf to the screaming in my head. You laughed and tilted your head and my heart to the side to see a different view. I turned away to hide what I had broken.

“ You look different today” he said searching for what is inside

So I pluck up some lie, something out of nowhere, something only a fool could believe.

“Maybe it’s just the light?”

He smiled again and took me off to my sanctuary little knowing what I was or who I am. I lay against his naked flesh and gripped to my counterfeit love, the only thing that I could grip to. The bed was like heaven with no consequences I don’t need the future at the moment, its totally irrelevant.

And then wind blows again, as I grip to these little garments I wear again, black and teal. To be honest no one really listens to the Vicar as murmurs the sorrows and borrowed words. I cry my guilt silently although the tears just shout out ‘Heart breaker’ so I wipe them away. What had I done… The memory flashes in my mind.

Oh you looked so good today, your blue eyes and curly hair was so transfixing. It was like a thousand times colder than the weather forecast said. I look playfully into my prey’s eyes, this time I had caught you in my web darling, this time it was just another one, I needed someone new to bleed.
I tilt my head to the side looking for fear he may feel, but he looks right at me, he’s had neither scars nor weaknesses unlike my paper mache heart. I look the other side of the train tracks to see the one I had before... and remembered what he said…

“ If you ever cheated I would beat who ever you did cheat with”
“ I would forgive you, I would still love you, and I would still be there for you”
“Noting going to split us, Nothing, I love you, I love you so much”

…Oh but you cant now, oh I can just remember it now, the sirens up ahead, the screeching of breaks, the horn blowing the feeling of falling, falling, falling…

You ran, you ran so slowly in my mind, so I grab my preys face and kiss it so had so cruel with all my lust and beauty. The train tracks rattled, the sirens fired I turned as it flashed before me louder than what was said inside my mind

Tender kiss tender kiss tender kiss

Naked flesh naked flesh naked flesh

Loving forever LOVING FOREVER

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

REPENT OH LORD WHAT MONSTER HAVE I BECOME?!

The breaks screamed as he ran into the tracks, caught in the headlights. I close my eyes and hold them tight till I wake up.

Is it all gone? Is it all over?

I opened my eyes to see only a hand still reaching out with hope fading out of the arms.

What had I done?

The soil is piled on, along with my paper mache rose. I turn and close my eyes as my conscience tells me off like a parent.

“Only if you had known that your heart was wrapped in Paper mache hunni”

“Never stray from heaven again hunni”

“I’ll see you another time hunni”

“ I told you hunni”

“Let go now”

“Hunni”

This is really good writing and deals with some very deep and complicated emotions. There were a few times when I got a bit confused and I think there are some changes between present and past tense. I don't know if these are intentional, but if they are I tend to find it more helpful if they're highlighted in some way, for example put in italics.

But it really is a good piece of writing that could easily be the base for a story. I for one want to find out more.

Aleana

Hmmm...

What a great idea!

Yeah i can see waht you mean by the confusion :P

I've got4 more to post then I'm gonna get working on writing again.

Tar tar!

yeah Im guessing that the past bit at the beginnig was a flashback

That was good its a unique idea

I got the insperation from that feeling of when you kinda not into the person you love as much a bit careless,

I was walking around in my town and like i heard that someone had been hit by a train and the 1st thing that came into my head was 'what if Reece was that person?!'

and it makesd me thing, this is love, just it can get a bit wrapped in paper mache sometimes and get a lil carless.

^_^

so there you go!

Well, I must say, everything of your I have read so far, it's all a little disturbing and normally disturbing isn't my thing but I find myself oddly attracted to your work...uh, keep it up.

Wow, your work is really good. I love your posts... KEEP IT UP!