Is this what we are afraid of?

Is this what we are afraid of?
the pain of loss is less it seems,
than the knowlege of the earth,
of burying and finally loosing,
of putting the wood into the earth.

It seems that we plant mordbid trees which never sprout,
we lay oak and sycamore never to be seen again,
this is what I think of grief, this is what it's about.
on the dark rich earth we place our lost and our blame.

the morbid procession moves forward with quite deliberance,
and I? I am a pall barer and I carry the weight of the pained,
i carry there looks and there tears as I lay something precious down.
Into the deep dark cavern of the ground.

six feet is all that was neded for this most precious thing,
and though i have learn't many things and seen more,
all I can tell you about this, as hold back tears shed before,
Is that a childs coffin weighs nothing, it is as light as a feather,
as we lay this beautiful six year old down among the heather.

i think its really good except for me, i think each line has 2 many syllables

but tha ts just me, i like my poems to have a different sound thru shorter and more disjointed lines cus i think long lines feels ... i dunno crowded

omg i hope its not based on a true life experience :( :(

um...Im not sure I understood all of the words...

Thats really good. clever use of language (something i could never do).
Very emotive.

It rhymes! Well parts of it does anyway, and I always like poems with rhymes :D

Although the topic is very sad it is really well written but still gets the message clearly across. As always very good GC.

One thing though, I think there are a couple of times where you've used the wrong 'there'. Sorry, picky I know.

I know its a problem I have.

and yes, all my poems are based at least slightly, on experience.

she is with things greater than you or I now and can feel no pain, so be sad that its true but be happy also.


more soon but i have lecture..... joy!

As I drift slowly awake,
II see the beaten tracks of my home,
the muddy trails of earth and loam,
And all this I take,
because my home is my own to make.

I feel the earth beneath my feet as I walk,
I see stones skitter from my shoes,
like tiny meteors they quickly and noisly move.
and my unquiet heart they soothe.

I see the end and the beginning,
I see lifes balance and loves hope,
in every single blade of grass and leaf on tree.
I see all of life around me.

And as I turn this final corner and see your smile,
no bitterv darkness, no denial,
I wonder at the world and see the beauty anew,
As with you I always do.
I also wonder what I did, what I could have done,
to earn the love of someone like you.

that was good I actually understood the words then its got a nice rythem to it (I think thatys the word Im looking for...)

I like that poem - lots of nice images :D