I have been called again, it seems, to be i the wrong place at the wrong time. My friend at Uni has just lost someone they care about and because I have experience of the same sort but she wants to talk to me honestly about it. This could go two ways.

A) I tell her the truth, that in some sense you always wake missing that person, that in fact time doesn't heal some wounds, in some ways it actuallly gets harder, that ou remember every siingle moment, that you remember every word and touch with pain and sadness. That that part of you life you have to close off within your own head simply to carry o because to think of it, ever, brings it rushing right back. That it is hard, that it will alwas be hard, that you have had something that few seem to ever know and that you have to live not knowing that it will ever be the same or........

B ) lie my ass off and give her some platitude about shock and the great healer time.....

which one should I do?

hard one..


hmmm.... suppose in a way bit of both.. tell her whats it feels like but say that it'll be ok... white lie and all that... Must open it all up again though someone asking advice like that... :(

I guess it would depend on the person. Do you think she would rather be told what she wants to hear, or does she genuinly wants to know what it will feel like? If she really wants to know, then I think its only fair to tell her. If she can accept what you say then it may be better for her in the long run.

I don't think it's reallly something you can ever accept apart from by living it. If I lied to her and found out that she experienced it anyway then I would be a bastard wouldn't I? Also, I don't know if I can lie to her, I might but I'm not sure. As to what she thinks? can you ever be greatful for such truths?

Hmmm well in a way- maybe u should exaggerate it so that when the pain does come for them then they're expecting worse so feel better- does that make sense?