I've been going out with my current girlfriend for about six weeks now. And, apart from her occassionally doing her shopping while I'm working, we've seen each other once.

Just once.

Now, the reasons for this are simple. I was away for one week (at the Essex Jamboree) and i was away for a long weekend (NYC Baby!). The rest of the time, she's working.

Actually, she's a bit of a workaholic. She works all weekend (so do i), and then all week doing temporary work placements, so she's usually too tired by the evening.

I don't know what to do.

I certainly don't want to ask her to work less so that I can see her.

My friends have suggested i talk to her and discuss if there is any point in still going out. After all, we've seen each other once in six weeks and she's moving away in a month. Not far, but I'm still not driving yet and, train or car, it's quite a way to get there.

The thing is, everytime I do see her, I feel so uplifted and she brightens my whole day. And it took such a long time to go out with her, that I don't want to give up this soon. But a part of me feels that it's not working.


Enough rambling. Advice please.

***huggleys***

Since I got to this thread first, I'm going to be the boring/predictable one and say:

go with your heart.

but thats pretty hard cos on one hand you say you really like her, but also somethings not right.

So, I'll do a Kaithar as well and say that you actually feel uplifted because of pheronomes :D

you couldgo out with her until she goes away, if she makes you feel that good when you actually see her, but then you might get more attached to her :wacko: how confusing.

Here's my last and final decision:

do what makes you happiest :D cos I hate to see you down :(

and if you still don't know what to do, come round mine and watch Schoo of Rock :D that should take you mind off it all for two hours ish. Then you can worry again.

***more hugs***

I need more details before I say anything. How often do you talk on the phone? Have you two made out? Have you ever thought about having sex with her? Would you have sex with her if given the chance? Be honest. These are the base questions and I think I can help you if you answer them honestly.

How often do you talk on the phone?
We text when we can, but i'm short on credit and she's usually working. So, in other words, not often.

Have you two made out?
Er...we've kissed about five times. Each time was just a sweet kiss on the lips. No full-on snogging yet.

Have you ever thought about having sex with her? Would you have sex with her if given the chance?
I've certainly thought about it. And given the chance, yes i would. In fact, I have the chance soon, as i'll have the house to myself for a little over a week. The trouble is that this is my first time, and I don't want to have sex with her knowing that this could be over and done with in a few eeks.

More help! Get Gemz in on this; she's always given me good advice!

*coughs* Bunny rabbits *coughs*

Ahahahahahahahaha!!! Sorry, just made me laugh, given the subject matter!

Would it be her first time? If not, then you could always use it as experience, and then go from there.

Just no notches on the bed post. Big turn off. Huge.

And personally, I wouldn't sleep with her until I'd snogged her, and possibly more. It's all experience, and you're only 18, so it's not like you'll never get another girlfriend.

Sorry, I'm sounding a bit heartless and insensitive really, aren't I?

It doesn’t sound like you two have a strong relationship yet. I would pass up this upcoming chance for sex if I were you. Well, if I were you I would wait till marriage, but I know I can’t ask that of you.

You need to build your emotional relationship first. Even before you start making out. Sex is a big deal. If something goes wrong with the protection, BAM… baby. Make sure you two are really in love and that means talking a lot more or if you can’t do that, talk a little for a long period of time. And before you make that big step into the sexually active relationship, look at your numbers. Can you support you, her, and a newborn on your currant income?

Oh yeah, about your not seeing her often problem, give it time. Don’t worry about your physical relationship just yet. When you both have time, talk. If she is the one for you, you will know soon enough. I sure you both will have more time together in the future.

That’s all for my advice.
(PS. I am a straight guy.)

Woah! No offence, but you sound about 30... And soooo serious!! Why can't I be that serious when I need to be?

And Batch, I hope our phone call helped, even if we did get side-tracked by Red Dwarf :D

Lol. Sorry about that. I get a little serious when I give advice of that nature. I have been there and I didn’t like it. Lol, I am sorry again. I will go hide in a corner or something. Oh and for the record, I am not 30.

Well, thanks all for your help. I'll bear in mind it all, and see what happens. But i'm pretty sure this is not going to work.

Wow, someone on this site is able to have and keep a girlfriend. Kudos to you, Batch.


I would like it stated that I had a good two paragraphs of advice to give you before my browser screwed me over, so you're getting the shortened version now :P


If she's a special enough person that "everytime I do see her, I feel so uplifted and she brightens my whole day", then the answer would be quite obvious. However, the complications of workaholism and distance is quite a wrench in the machinery. Let me put it this way: Think of life as a pit filled with shit, with a relationship being a rope out. If the rope is weak, it will break apart and you will be back where you started from. But, if the rope is strong enough, it can carry you through anything.


Hope that didn't sound too corny, and if it did, I don't care. I had mexican food earlier, and it isn't agreeing with me.

Threw up while typing: 3
Reached bathroom: 2

Thanks for the advice, Loner. And, er, hope you feel better.

you all sound so ........so.........grown up.
maybe this isnt the thread for me but i like to be helpfull.

lugana..............what is it with you and sex. every post here is about sex.
all i can say that your personal life and your love life always come fist!

what other lives are there? School life? But your friends are there...

anyway, before aine gets me spamming.


Loner is right, you need to build up a relationship, in my girly romantacised opinion. But hey, this is the perfectionist here who has had no bfs. Um...

Gemz is right about the only 18 thing, Batch, I'm sure you'll get more girls shyly going up to you and going, 'hey..blah bloah blah...go out some time?'

seriously.

Not kidding.

stop looking at me like that. I'm not just ego-boosting here.

anyway, how far away was she going?

She's only moving about twenty miles away, but on my money, that's far enough!

Take a few chances you wish you had later, live life a little more, fear a little less, and remember:

When life hands you lemons, throw them back and tell life to MAKE ITS OWN DAMN LEMONADE!



sorry sorry, i know i'm spamming the website but i cant resist it.
promise its the last time.

Well, it's no longer a problem. We've agreed to be friends because she's so busy. I'm single once more...

:(

*come over and hugs batch*

there, there, its ok. we are all single its not that bad.

Heh, I like that version of it!

I know, you just seem it. Perhaps it's all the good advice...

Glad you've decided to be friends. And glad that the advice helped... even though it wasn't mine....

i tried making lemonade it all ended up on the floor and in my eyes. lemon juice stings.