This is going to be a real challenge. You will need to right a scene whereby a much loved person is on his deathbed and is having a heartugging last conversation with his loved ones.

Or maybe somebody is watching their lover walk off into the mist, knowing they may never see them again.

Perhaps there has been an argument, perhaps a husband is going to war, whatever you want to do.

It just has to be heart-rendingly upsetting which will be hard because reader's usually only find these things upsetting after 200 pages of enthralling reading, which by then they feel they know a character.

Here they will only just have met them.

Prize hasn't been set yet, but it'll be well worth the effort ;)

Rules

• About 500 words, it doesn't matter too much, just a rough guide of how much I can be bothered to read ;)
• No short background story, straight in at the deep end, this is a true test of writing skill, as a good novelist will be able to make the reader understand what is going on.
• Entries must be in by the 5th July (Because it's exam season, a lot of members may not be able to enter yet).
• Exam Season does not mean you collect the dusty shotgun from the closet and go off hunting exams. Unless it's geography.

Thankyou, and good luck :P

Heh!! I may freak you out, but you make me chuckle!!! *collects gun* Just kidding! I'm not expecting to win this, not even for it to be vaguely good, but what the hey. And I daresay it'll be over the word limit - sorry... Here goes:

His heart was heavy, as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was dressed in entirely black. Black shoes, black socks, black freshly pressed trousers, black shirt, even black boxers. Black heart, black soul, black bags under his eyes. He hadn't slept since Elisa passed away. He could still smell her around the apartment, her perfum lingering still, the bottle with the lid half on, just as she had left it. When Dom had questioned him, she'd simply replied
"To block out the smell of your socks silly!" with a childish glow that Dan had found an amazing turn-on. The events that had followed still bought a smile to face his face when he thought about them. But not today. Not the day of Elisa's funeral. He could still imagine Li coming out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel, standing on tip-toes to peer over his shoulder, telling him how sexy he looked, growling in his ear playfully. He stared blankly into the mirror, watching the tears run down his face.
"Not today Matthews." He told himself, wiping the tears away harshly. He reached for his jacket, and left the apartment, the bright morning sun on his face. It was cold, but the sun was merrily shining, birds were singing, and people were walking down the street, arm in arm. He stopped by his car, seeing his reflection in the polished windows.
"It was the only place," he said to himself, "the only place left to try." It bought a smile to his face, as he rememered Li virtally bouncing over the car seat as she'd told Dan her idea. He remembered how fresh her face looked, even when she was tired. The way that she could worm her way into the smallest spots in Dan's arms when they sat on the couch together. The way that she'd fall asleep when she thought Dan wasn't looking, and then wake up again at the end of the film, claiming that she thought it was a marvellous film and they should watch it again sometime. That always made Dan laugh. He remembered watching the Titanic with her, Li snuggled up against him, as he put his arm protectively around the small, pale figure that always seemed so full of life. He remembered how he'd caught her crying at the end, as she turned to Dan and said
"I'd do that for you y'know. I'd die for you." Dan remembered his reply
"I'd die without you. I'd rather I went than you." He remembered his feelings in the hospital, how he'd prayed that the situation could be reversed, and how when Li had died, his whole being had died with her. He was no more than Dan Matthews, empty shell that had been an actor.
He climbed into the car, switched on the ignition, then the radio, then finally put his seatbelt on. The radio was playing "Sorry seems to be the hardest word" by Blue and Elton John. Switching stations, he only got met by more and more depressing songs, I'm not in love - 10CC, Stranded - Lutricia McNeal, Always - Bon Jovi, I knew I loved you - Savage Garden and finally, Everything's gunna be alright - Sweetbox. He settled on the last one, singing along mournfully, before switching it off and driving in silence. He thought it ironically appropriate that his car was black. The colour that Li had chosen when she was helping him decide. Dan had wanted red.
"But Danny, red's so clichè!" she'd complained. Finally he'd given in and chosen the black. He had to admit, Li had been right on this one, his car DID look better in black. Pulling up outside the funeral parlour, he made sure he was fully composed before getting out. He was greeted by the few chosen. Blocking out their words, he just shook his head. They understood.

They carried her coffin, Closer to me - Five, playing softly in the background in the church. Dan was the only coffin bearer not crying. He had no tears left to cry. The ceromony was beautiful. Dan's choice of music was brilliant. His speech had left everyone in tears. Although his voice cracked, he did not cry.
"Those gathered here today, you will know how much Elisa meant to me. You will know how I would have done anything to protect her. Anything. All the nights I spent praying that she'd be alright, wishing that we could swap places. But none of it helped. Nothing I can do will bring her back, and as hard as I try, I can't put this behind me. Many of you know the full story. How I killed her." Those there just looked at him in sympathy. They knew the story. Dan carried on, getting to the last part of his goodbye speech.
"Her final words to me were 'Goodbye isn't forever. I'll see you again someday. Just remember - I'll always love you.' Which is the reason for my last song. Goodbye Li, be seein' ya." He very nearly lost his composure at this last sentence, and as the coffin lowered into the ground, he threw a single red rose. I will always love you - Whitney Huston played softly in the back ground.

Driving home, Dan's vision was a blur. He saw a small girl, with pale skin, dark brown hair and brilliant blue eyes stare at him from the path, then smile and wave before her mother dragged her away. He rubbed his eyes. He was really tired. When he got home, he crawled into bed, only stopping to remove his jacket and shoes. He had a dream, that Li was an angel, smiling down on him, dressed all in white, a golden glow emitting from her. He looked into those blue eyes, and could feel the love pouring from them into his soul. He woke shortly after, to discover the radio was on. He pulled himself of out bed, and crossed to switch it off. He saw a note lying on the table in Li's neat script. ' I told you I'd see you again ' He crumpled to the floor, the tears he thought had gone falling freely from his eyes, the radio seeming to get louder and louder.
"And I, will always, love you..."

hmm, this is well written, and fairly immersive writing.

Likes

• Very realistic, the way that probably most people would act if they lost a loved one;
• Everything is well described, and the reader really does feel that they're part of the scene;
• The reader may switch between sympathy for the man, and empathy when he wished that it was the "other way around". Most people can't help but have that small, selfish streak when they're left to pick up the pieces.

Dislike

• The way it switched from fiction to realism - the real music, whilst being appropriate to the situation, sort of dragged me back to the real world.

Well, that's my comment passed, all in all well written, I'll give it 8/10. B)

Anyone reading my story (Star) had better not read this, especially Gemz, as she will kill me.


Gemz, don't


I did warn you.


Don't!


Well, if you must...

Star looked up in time to see Xendar fall onto the ground, the magic that had been wreathed around him whipping away from him like ribbons and disappearing into the air. He hit the ground heavily, and didn't move. She scuffled over to him, hearing the footfalls of people running over to them.
She knelt beside him and put one hand on his cheek. “Xendar…?Are you okay?” She looked down to where his hand was, clutched to his side, with crimson blood seeping through his fingers, and pooling on the ground around her, soaking into her trousers.
Diozar appeared at her shoulder. “Oh sweet Power…Asa!” That last word was shouted out to the Magess who was running over to them. Asa Healtouch stumbled next to Xendar and quickly assessed the damage. She held her hands over the wound and healing magic glowed around them, delving deep into Xendar’s body.
“Will he be okay?” Star asked Diozar anxiously.
“If anyone can heal him, it will be Asa…if she can’t…” She didn’t like the way that he left that sentence hanging.
The glow around Asa’s hands faded and she looked up at Diozar, her eyes troubled. “I’ve healed him all that I can, but…there’s something stopping me from…” she caught Star’s eye, and looked down at her lap. “…saving his life.”
“You mean he’ll die?” Star choked, he eyes filling with tears.
“There’s nothing I can do, my dear.” Asa put an arm around her. “Would you like us here with you?”
“No, its okay, I need to be alone, I think.” Star didn’t watch them leave. She was half blind with tears. She wiped them away, and noticed Xendar watching her.
“It was going to happen, sooner of later,” he said quietly, “I’m much too annoying to be left alive.” Despite her grief, he made her smile. She leaned over him, regardless of the warm blood soaking in around her knees, and caressed his face.
“I love you,” she said, “I love you forever.”
“I love you forever, too,” he said, his voice a whisper.
“You will watch over me, won’t you?” she asked him.
“As long as the Power lets me, I’ll be with you forever and ever,” he said faintly. She kissed him, tasting the blood in his mouth an the salt of her tears, and then collapsed across his body, doubts about all her beliefs in the Power flickering around her mind, between the grief that filled her. How could this happen? It was so unfair…so unfair…


and what happens next...? Find out when I get to this bit :P

BEAST!!!!!!!!!!

He'd better not die!!! Grrrr!

Did I say don't read it? I think I did!

*runs away*

Well, here's my stab at this contest...

Silence. A sickening silence that threatened to engulf everyone and everything. Was she dead? yes, that would explain it. She was dead and this was... hell? darkness filled her; she was lost in the pain that spread through her body.

Body? How could she be in hell if she still had a body? The Devil was play a joke, and it wasn't funny. She opened her eyes. The air was filled with dust that fell gently on her face like snow. She tried to move, but the pain forced her to stay still, as if she was setting in concrete. She could taste the blood in her mouth; its bitter, iron taste filling her senses. Still there was silence; deafening silence.
The night air was cool against her skin. It was as if nothing had happened; that the ground hadn't shaken with such anger that it had nearly brought her house down. Their house.

She had to find him. He couldn't be far away, seeing as they had been sharing the same bed. She reached over to her right, hoping to feel his warm, rough skin; instead she felt the cool, smooth surface of concrete; concrete that had fallen on the bed and on her.

Where was he? Dead, most probably. She wondered why she didn't feel any grief. The only man she ever loved, ever cared for, was dead and yet not one tear fell from her eyes. She tried desperatly not to listen to the silence. She tried to concentrate on her breathing; her heart beat. Anything just not the silence.

There it was! Sound! So faint she almost mised it. She tried to call out; to show the noise-maker that they weren't alone. But the effort was so painful that silence remained.

Prehaps she'd missed it, those precious beats of air that entred her ears. Perhaps there was no noise. Anywhere. She was dying. She could feel herself sinking deeper into darkness. Soon she would have to say goodbye to words, music, noise; forever. But she would say goodbye to pain aswell. Darkness clouded her vision and she had little energy to keep her eyes open. Soon it would be time to say goodbye. Very soon.

"Sweetheart, sweetheart. Can you hear me? Oh please God, can you hear me?" Michael clambered over what reamined of their bedroom. He had been in the garden when the earthquake struck, unable to sleep in the hot summer air. He climbed onto the bed where his young wife lay. Fear shook him physically when he saw the blood; bright crimson dye on the pink covers, spreading.

He put his arms around her and held her hand, wanting somehow to pass his strength on to her. "Come on darling, please speak to me." She tried, she really tried. But in the end, only a soft squeel, like a timid mouse, emerged from her dry lips. He wiped the plaster from her face, to reveal fine, peppery freckles. And not even the falling plaster could conceal the firey red that was her hair. Her eyes, normally a brillant green, were grey, but not distant. Her skin was taunt and her breathing slow and painful.

He kissed her lightly on her lips, and he could feel her trying to kiss back, but had little energy to do so. He then kissed her cheek, where a single tear had made a track through the dust. He could also feel his eyes freely watering, as they had never done before.

He never wanted this moment to go. Time had to stop, here and now. He could not lose her. He just couldn't say...

"Goodbye" wispered Catherine, before she became still in his arms.

This is going to be horrible, I know it, because I only have about 20 minutes to think it up, write it up, proofread, and edit. Basically, if I win, I will probably scream loudly. Well, here it goes...

He knew it had to happen; she had been comatose for nearly a month, and money was running short. He had visited her every day, immedietly after work until the dead of night, when he was ushered out by some pushy nurse. Apparently, after 7:00, he was "in the way". The doctor had told him her condition: she was dependant on life support, and most likely brain dead. It hurt him to even look at her once beautiful face, twisted in pain and wreckage. When the option was presented, to tear a piece of his life away, he immedietly rejected it. However, as the days passed, his heart became divided on the issue. She might wake up, she might not. If she woke up, would she remember him? He tore the hair from his head, hoping that the pain would numb him into peace. Finally, he knew what must be done.

The doctors all promised it would be quick and painless; that she was too far gone to notice. He still came to her, but the visits became spaced, and the time shorter. He didn't sleep very well, and soon not at all. His arms were soon speckled with tiny dots; hypodermic needles, filled with liquid escape. His face grew sullen, and his vibrant eyes glazed. It was as though his life was fused with hers, and the thought of her death killed him, too. But the drugs only lasted so long, and did not end the flow of time. Day faded to night; night brightened to day, and his lover's judgment grew closer.

The day came. The pain, which had elevated in the past days, had reached an apex. The quick, sharp pull of a blade across his throat was his only desire, but he found it somehow unfair to her. As he lay upon the couch, wallowing in pity, he delved into his memory, viewing the little things that made her wonderful: the way she could make the worst pain bearable; the way her eyes could convey her thoughts more clearly then any words. Those beautiful, blue eyes, that now lay dormant under a curtain of skin. She had become a thrall to pain; a soul that yearned for peace, yet lingered incessantly. It was those images that brought him out of his darkness. It was the undying love that allowed him to give up that which he needed most.

In the end, it was relatively quick. The doctors worked with sick calmness, as though they were shutting down a computer, rather then a living being. Though the pain ripped through his body, he refused to cry. She had been dead the whole time; it was his selfishness that kept her alive. The doctors left, and he touched her for the final time. She was finally free.

*sobs*

You both made me cry. Aleana, don't ever write like that again! It's too good!!! Damn you!!

*pats Gemz on back* there there. You just have a diff. style to them :) I wub reading your story!

er...is the contest all closed now? It said 5th July. WHERE IS A JUDGE?????

Here I'll go find DD and find out what the prizes are and I'll tell you guys. And If I can I'll get him on here and he'll pick the winner. Great job Everyone! :)

You know what DD's like. He's probably forgot all about us! I'll try to find him as well.

Hunt him down until he judges it :wickedgrin:

I give in. DD has left the building. And this contest is over. I'll judge it later on, but until then, check out the new contest...

*flicks Awod™ casually, locking this contest behind an iron portcullis*